So happy to finally be sharing this song with you. My album is on the way. Comment your favorite part of the song!

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my prayer.

After Death Records

what hurts me...

you cried,

holes in my ceiling,

memories,

sorry this took me so long to put on sc! enjoy <3

take a moment to breathe.

Stream/Buy

here is the instrumental version for ya guys <3

take a moment to breathe. (Instrumental)

take a moment to breathe. (instrumental)

when you are apart, all you have to hold onto is memories. they replay constantly in your mind till you find yourself paralyzed by the thought of it being in the past. it's not real. it was real. but now they are only as real as the tangible nature of your memories. oh how painful that is. so, you sit. sit and pray that that person you shared those memories with comes back, wants to come back, running into your arms, so you can make new ones. you will make new ones and in those moments they will be real. for now, they are just dreams and memories. looking forward and looking back because the present is vacant of what you love. oh how painful that is. it's not healthy to hurt this much...

nostalgia, it's killing me slowly.

just a little thing i wrote and composed today. i hope you enjoy it. this was a vent for me.

nostalgia is killing me slowly (and she's leaving),

more music <3

curse,

silence,

pale blue,

freckles,

to my future wife.

heaven, hell, and canada.

if you have been following for awhile now, you know that we have been in the woods for quite some time. "the woods" was a metaphorical space in my mind that i had placed myself in to cope with my life situation. through a chain of unfortunate events and people who turned on me, i had felt as if i was thrown into a dark woods and no one could hear my cries. 

during this time spent in the woods (a year in real life), i wrote over 30 songs. 6 of them were released. 

an incomplete number. 

today marks the 7th song and the completion of this part of the story.

1. "curse," was all about being wronged by the person who put me in the woods. 
listen to curse,: https://youtu.be/j_zwUDLokNA?si=kJQNtktqeQn0f09L

2. "freckles," is about the guilt of having songs as helpful as this and not being able to release it.
listen to freckles,: https://youtu.be/fd5iChMENng?si=DTXnWLS_JmXp3eOq

3. "pale blue," is about my inability to keep love because i cannot leave the woods.
listen to pale blue,: https://youtu.be/EhKUdTifgmY?si=EQMFbnXuAjdSCrKj

4. "anaphia; (intermission) is about my inability to feel anything while trapped
listen to anaphia; (intermission): https://youtu.be/m6VoSSPrhUg?si=ZeFdhnQlE7XInJ7Q

5. "silence," is about my cry over the trees to you, apologizing for my guilt and silence
listen to silence,: https://youtu.be/zojCxZLs2_4?si=W5nUhRflYGAWOhTL

6.  "good mourning," is my difficulty to function in real life situation while i'm struggling
listen to good mourning,: https://youtu.be/vBgYTQzXwKs?si=C4yoRxnnAZDZp6vy

7. "finale (i CRY out), demo 6" is the end of this other worldly era. in the video for "freckles," there was a poem on the therapists notebook. it reads, 

"follow the stream and leave the voices below." 

the stream that i step into at the end scene in the video represents a way out of the woods that God provided me with. While the stream isn't real, the words my loved ones and fans gave me, are. the stream are the words i follow on the way out of my mental rut. it is where i find my purpose and my sanity. throughout this video you will see scenes from my memory of being in the woods. everything is remembered in this otherworldly yet familiar art. as it is just a world i conjured up in my brain. the cabin you see in the thumbnail represents the passageway out of the woods that i find at the end of this song. 

the entire song was produced and recorded by myself in a cabin in upstate michigan. you can hear the beautiful imperfections of the space as we travel along in this story. i asked friends, family, and fans to send in their voice recordings. i built a compilation of the stream i experienced while it flows to the music i felt.

so now we are out of the woods and have reached the cabin, "somewhere between heaven, hell, and canada..."

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