A page full of masterpieces taking me back to my roots in shoe gaze in the 80's and 90's. The voice reminds me of Moose or The Ropers. Fantastic songwriting.

Wow. Reaching and fading all at once. Touching work. Durge

motion sickness demo (i hate you)

motion sickness original demo

The Devil Might Have Won

Guitar & Mix by Garddwr Porffor: https://soundcloud.com/garddwrporffor
Vocals & Lyrics by Nadia Selvaggi

Mr. Scarborough
by Nadia Selvaggi

I heard your soft, English lilt
calling my name on the express to Parliament Hill
Your troubled face came alive,
as we spoke of history and tragedy

I don't care now,
like I didn't care back then

I heard nattering, whispers
and cruel gossiping
about how you lost everything
after trying, then surrendering

O, no! O, no! Mr. Scarborough
Fine, gentle, brilliant teacher
and tortured soul
I heard you finally let go

I care now,
like I cared back then

Mr. Scarborough by Garddwr Porffor & Nadia Selvaggi

Believe it or not, this track was born, because i started playing with Spitfire's Christmas instruments (https://labs.spitfireaudio.com/christmas if you are interested).
While i liked the sounds, i did not like the music itself, so i started switching up the instruments and adding more and more of that Argon Antlers sauce i'm working on.

Guess this year i listened to too much deep techno, because at one point it morphed into this repetition of washed and mushy melodies and textures. I tried to use the least amount of musical ideas and then stretch them for as long as possible. I really like what it became.

Even though the sound quality is not as good as before. This time my majestic friend https://soundcloud.com/forgottendreams was not available to mix and master the music. So, I had to mix it, and I gave it to the SoundCloud AI for mastering. Honestly, I don't like the way how it sounds and thought of not releasing this until I know how to handle the mix myself, but I'm postponing my career for so long that taking a pause again would be more painful than accepting some subpar qualities.

Later, I'll make a remix to do some justice for this one. Until then, hope you'll find something in it that is worth hearing.

EDIT at 23.11.12: i replaced the audio file with a new master. It is still far from perfect, but much better than before...

Vertigo

Second part of my father trilogy.
This song is based on a dream I had a good 20 years ago with my father, who had been dead for some time. 
I am in a dimly lit room. It's just me and somehow my father's energy body. At some point, this invisible energy body comes towards me. Then we embrace. It is a merging embrace. Something deep inside me releases and makes me cry. It's not so much a sad cry, but a liberating, soothing cry that pacifies me completely. 
Since this dream, the grudge I harboured against him for a long time has largely disappeared.     
Somehow he has been there inside me since then and I can sometimes visit him (even in dreams) when I want to talk to him.

The arrangement of the song is deliberately minimalist (just vocals, guitar and violin, hardly any effects) in order to emphasise the tremendous intimacy of the encounter between my father and me in the dream described above (there is no longer a "leaf" between us).

My Father  (Lyrics in English)

Would so like to talk to you
Break through the walls to the hereafter
Meet you in a moon cafe
On chairs that stand here and there

You died before the Berlin Wall came down
My son was born on the day you died
Never saw my beautiful wife
Although you had aimed 
For a hundred years of life

You only reached half of it
Life was rarely really easy for you

You were often too close to the stars
Underestimated the danger to your life
Had so many visions
Wanted to live in castles in the air

Then you were all there again
So clairvoyant, wise and clear

Would love to have you with me now
My father, I would love to have you here now 

The dividing wall to you is now open
I haven't met you for so long
You're waiting for me in the moon cafe
I see you in the soft twilight

I want to tell you so many things
What happened after you left
You still wanted to experience it all
Your early death did not grant you that

You were so torn, the demons, they tore at you
You loved the rush, had little sense of yourself

And yet you were in deep distress
My ever-protecting boat
My steadying hand
The lighthouse in my land of chaos

You gave up the shirt off your back
That ultimately cost you your life

Would love to have you with me now
My father, I wish you were here now


Mein Vater (Deutscher Originaltext)

Möchte so gern mit Dir sprechen
Die Mauern zum Jenseits durchbrechen
Dich in einem Mond-Cafe` treffen
Auf Stühlen, die hier und dort stehen

Vor dem (Berliner) Mauerfall bist Du gestorben
An Deinem Todestag wurde mein Sohn geboren
Hast meine schöne Frau niemals erlebt
Dabei hattest Du 
Hundert Jahre Leben angestrebt

Hast grad‘ mal gut die Hälfte davon erreicht
Das Leben war für Dich selten wirklich leicht

Warst oft den Sternen zu nah
Unterschätztest die Lebensgefahr
Hattest so viele Visionen
Wolltest in Luftschlössern wohnen

Dann warst Du wieder ganz da
So hellsichtig, weise und klar

Hätt‘ Dich so gern jetzt bei mir
Mein Vater, hätt‘ Dich jetzt gern hier 

Die Trennwand zu Dir steht jetzt offen
So lange hab‘ ich Dich nicht getroffen
Du wartest im Mond-Cafe‘ auf mich
Ich seh‘ Dich im zarten Dämmerlicht

Ich will Dir so vieles erzählen
Was so geschah nach Deinem Fortgehen
Du wolltest das alles noch erleben
Dein früher Tod hat Dir das nicht vergönnt

Warst so zerrissen, die Dämonen, sie zerrten an Dir
Liebtest den Rausch, hattest für Dich wenig Feingespür

Und dennoch warst Du in tiefer Not
Mein stets mich schützendes Boot
Meine mir haltgebende Hand
Der Leuchtturm in meinem Chaos-Land

Hast Dein letztes Hemd hergegeben
Das kostete Dich letztlich Dein Leben

Hätt‘ Dich so gern jetzt bei mir
Mein Vater, hätt‘ Dich jetzt gern hier

Mein Vater (My Father)

chicago

A Mugging for Cup Noodles

Road Maps is a blues-inspired song about a knight who did not go to the previous crusade and longed for the glory given to those who did and came back. The song follows his attempt to rendevous with a large military group he belongs to, but is late to the party; he meets interesting and colourful characters throughout his quest to take up arms, with each character symbolizing, codifying and exuding themes of honour, enchantment, potential, backstabbery, and cowardice. Once our character arrives at the battle scene he's been searching for, he sees his side has already lost and tries to slip away unharmed.

LYRICS:
The sky is blue
And the trees are green
Armour shining in the sun.
Headin' out east to Valence
No the battle has not begun.

Out on the road
Ran into Raymond of Tolosa,
His words are rogue
From his battles over Asia.
Who blusters by
But the defacto Margrave boy!
Only fools fly.
The same as the others employ
They are a king's toy.

Their swords are sharp,
But their minds are bare
Absolving absolution:
Been sent out here to conquer
Lord they can't save themselves.

The sky is red
And the land is rich
Signs of victory prevail.
Egressing to Durazzo 
Ohh what it might entail.

Through distant peaks
Met the Moneyman of Milan,
The Byz repeats
Underneath the consecration song.
As months go on
See the Wealthy Barvarian!
Their greed is strong.
He escaped a contrarian
But he was no barbarian.

Their swords are sharp,
But their minds are bare
Absolving absolution:
Been sent out here to conquer
Lord they can't save themselves.

The sky is grey
And the walls are high
Enemy of a lost cause.
Runnin' on past Nicea
No time to greet a pause.

The sky is black
And the trees are burnt
A force surrounds to assert.
Over the Isle of Cypress
How many more will revert.

A broken siege
Constable Conrad wants to win,
Thou doth beseech
The sounds and sights are feeling grim.
Down on the ground
Steven the Coward was redeemed!
His oath was bound.
The process fails at the seams
Must leave swiftly unseen.

No matter where you're from,
Or the suit you wear
If then presented a path:
Better not choose the wrong one
You could meet the devil's wrath!

Whatever one may want
Or the aim you take
Your target's in the distance:
Better deem your ambition
It's chosen by admission!

If you take up in arms 
And meet a dismal end
Outlived by a narrative:
Create a clear perspective
Tale tales so affected!

Their swords are sharp,
But their minds are bare
Absolving absolution:
Been sent out here to conquer
Lord they can't save themselves.

The Witching

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