Fucking drowning in my doubt
Thoughts behind a cloud 
Self hatred leaking through the mouth 
Feel like I’m fading 
My dopamine is out

Looking for some shit to fill the void before I blow my mind out 
Out goes my pain
Shout for help until my hope is drained
Bowing to the thought of change but I doubt I’ll go anywhere but south

Going only south even though I’m from the north
Winter ice crystals keeping cutting me like a fucking sword 
My skin is turning blue from the cold that I’ve absorbed 

I told my demons I can’t take this internal war 
They want my blood to pour
They handed a .44
They want to see to see me as a corpse, on my failures keeping score
Want my blood to pour 
Handed a .44
Want to see to see me as a corpse, on my failures keeping score

I’m climbing to the peak I’m falling on my knees 
I’m hoping at least my mind will stop, as time is running on the clock
This world grows cold as I get old and I can’t control all my fucking thoughts
Tryna reach the summit of my brain but I’m dodging rocks 
Demons at the top inducing serotonin drops
My back at the door, while my demons fucking knock
Can’t open it once again, please someone get the glock

I’m waking baking every day to save me from my fucking brain 
Take me to my fucking grave, I feel like I’m wasting space 
Never slowing down the brakes, but never wanna meet my fate
But every day I’m meeting face with my final days if I don’t change my fucking ways 

Turning into a disaster not a master of my own self 
Falling faster, I’m the captor and the pastor of my own hell 
Dwelling and I’m yelling out my mental health 
And my trauma released with every word I spell

Don’t know if my soul will ever be whole
Don’t know if my soul will ever be whole

Pounding the Ice As I Freeze in Frigid Waters

Pounding The Ice As I Freeze In Frigid Waters

Driving to the coast, feeling like a ghost
Never do the most
Cutting throats
Get me high cuz I want the highest dose
But every toke is making the reaper more close
Running from the fate you chose, but I see you in my scope
You don’t know until you froze, now I wait for you to decompose
I don’t know 
Feeling slow
Rolling dope
Pennywise would be proud of the way that I float 
Money fucking falls
Call the bank there’s nothing in the vault 
Wish that I could have a house like Aaron Paul 
Wish that something in this life wasn’t fucking false 
Demons standing tall over the broken line of salt
Every room call me the fucking black sheep  
Got wool on my eyes and I can’t see 
I’m the banshee, eyes red from the tears that I fucking weep

To my dome, put it, put it to my dome
Midnight goldstone  
Put it, put it, put it to my dome
To my dome, put it, put it to my dome
Midnight goldstone  
Put it, put it, put it to my

Lately I’ve been going through some shit that makes me stay in bed 
I don’t wanna do another day of feeling dread
Feeling heavy like lead
Everyone left me on read 
Demons saying fuck em all you’ll be better off dead 
Hanging from a thread 
Overfed my head
Fork and knife consuming all my negative thoughts instead 
Looking in the infrared, see the spirits of the dead 
Every day I bend backwards but it’s not enough they said
I’ll be in the dirt where the maggots are 
I’ll be in my room just watching avatar 
What the fuck you talking for, who the fuck is you?
I just wanna make a beat and snack like Scooby Doo
Dump my body in the ocean but I float ashore
Try to bargain with the devil but he wants more
I shook his hand and put it to my dome,
float up to a galaxy that looks like midnight goldstone

Money fucking falls
Call the bank there’s nothing in the vault 
Wish that I could have a house like Aaron Paul 
Wish that something in this life wasn’t fucking false 
Demons standing tall over the broken line of salt

Midnight Goldstone

Body rotting but I have a plot
Take ‘em to the ocean and I dump em off a yacht 
Red and blue flashing, know I’m fucking caught 
Put my hands in the air, and my knees dropped 
Now I watch the days go by, I’m sitting in a cell
Never see a blue sky but tell my fam I’m doing well 
Made mistakes and I made my own hell 
Recurring dreams where I’m burning in a fucking plane that fell
Tired of fake fucking people never having my back
Tired of days turning to weeks where sleep lacks
Tired of smoking weed just to relax 
I don’t wanna feel this shit until my body is ash 

Rose made of palm, rose like a phoenix 
Came back as a demon but nobody fucking 
see it
Invisible, miserable, now I’m spewing stupid syllables 
Not loveable 
Not liveable 
If anything I’m fucking killable
I’m despicable 
Life feeling like an SAT, but I’m not quizzable
Unpredictable, 
Second guessing everything is typical 
solving problems to the minimal 
Smoking chemicals 
Fucking killable
I’m despicable 
Life feeling like an SAT, but I’m not quizzable
Unpredictable, 
Second guessing everything is typical 
Solving problems to the minimal 
Smoking chemicals

Recurring Dreams

Inciteful - Blasted

Panic setting, panic lurking
Someone close the curtain 
I’m betting that I keep on hurting
Smoking back to back, I’m burning
Made by Burton, I’m not real, animated clay person
Dig my hole and lay and wait for someone to throw the fucking dirt in
And I’m waking devastated when I’m thinking bout the body bags 
Visit mental graves so I’m always wearing fucking black 
Staying late up thinking and I’m breaking down from panic attacks 
Taking your reality and throwing it in the fucking trash 
I’m so numb that nothing can shake me 
Made it past the point of breaking
Brain is feeling like it’s caving
Mind and body aching 
Limbs shaking, head racing,
I’m debating my coffin or my cremation, gotta choose a place for my remains to lay in 


Made by Burton, animated clay person
Dig my hole and lay, throw the fucking dirt in


I can never rest in piece, never hittin REM during sleep
I’m internalizing deep, getting weak
My dreams are nightmares where I can’t speak, shadows climbing on my chest, grabbing my throat and choking me 
Try to scream but all I can do is weep
How long does it take to feel normal again?
I’m spending every day waiting for the day to end 
I’m on game seven with my demons and I can’t defend 
I’m transcending into heaven, from this life I was condemned 
I’m a fallen angel like I’m Lucifer, toss me into the lake
And I realize Hell is painful as I’m going up in flames 
I abandon all hope when I reach the gates
Now I’m the king of demons and they’re feeding me grapes

PANIC

Repping the gloom
Stepping on tombs 
Been hurting since the womb
Smell my body rotting like it’s my own perfume 
And I cannot feel my face 
Think I died inside my place 
Took a shotgun to the face 
Think I might just blow my brain
And I up and dip and dump the k
Gonna blow away the bank 
Bitch it’s gloom until the grave 
I’m prepared to die anyway 
I got the Glock tucked
What the fuck
Bitch a cigarette butt
Floating down the river, dump ‘em in a trunk
Hit a bump, 
Chemicals laced up in a blunt 
Then I’m going fucking manic as I’m spilling all the guts head bust red blood on my black boots when you feel the cut 
And I didn’t get the message so I popped ‘em with the gun
Straight gloom into your soul 
Watch me putting out the sun
Anyway what the fuck 
I’m gonna rob the fuvking bank
Bitch you watch me pull away and then I pull up with the tank 
Smoke a j eating chick fil sipping Gatorade but my vision tinted grey
Every day I go outside and feel so lame 
I don’t wanna blow my brain but every day is feeling same 
So I’m driving down the highway
Incisions hide away 
I don’t wanna deal with all this fucking pain
Looking for any way to numb my brain
Like I’m Jenny I wanna fly away 
All you fake fuckers fucking go away

LOCKJAW [ft. CRI$I$ 333][prod. SCARYPLAIN]

I got the Mac in my lap, might just turn you to ash 
I got the cheese for the rats, stomping and making them splat
I told you I’m a demon, and you don’t believe it 
So I’m ending all the lives before the next season
And now they’re screaming "oh no,” I used to be emotional 
But now I"m feeling no remorse, might put them in the morgue
Soul is torn, ghost bored, roaming round still ignored
And I wonder if they know they’re dead and in a different form
When I’m alone, my thoughts are horrid, and my mind is all distorted, and my mind is unreported, and my wires are cut and short
Bed rotting like I’m torpid, never blooming like an orchid 
I gave my last dollar to demons I can’t afford it 
Make you fucking cut in half 
And I’m drowning in a bath of your blood I put inside a fucking bag 
And they say that I’m bad, but the demons telling me I’m good 
Pushing bodies into bodies of the water, find them when you hook  
Feeling like I’m Jason when I’m creeping through the fucking camp 
Then I return to the lake where I keep the bodies damp 
Definition darkness so I’m breaking all the fucking lamps
Cramming all the bodies in a circle then I fucking chant 
Cooking tea, honey mixed with LSD 
Now I freak 
Running, fleeing, let me free 
Inside my mind I see it’s a cage, I lost the key 
Looking to the sky to find it and I fucking plead 


Driving down the road and I’m looking for a kill
Spilling guts just to get a fucking thrill
Gotta take a pill just so I can fucking chill
I’m not fucking with the pain like I’m working on a mill
Thoughts going in circles like a tire
And I’m wired, in the AM, cooking my brain like a fryer
Everybody looking for me like I’m Will Byer
I’m a monster running when I fucking see fire 
Tears falling on remains 
Death will keep on crawling through my brain
Looking at the sky my tears are blending with the rain
Every day my life is feeling more mundane 
I might disappear like I’m David Blaine, for this earth I wasn’t made 
Reaper pick me out like I'm a crop 
I'm a blip, I'm a bot, and I’m just a fucking prop 
It’s a lot when it’s nonstop thoughts around the clock 
And I slowly boil from the pressure like a crockpot
Wishing all this shit would just fucking stop 
Tryna clean my life, I got a fucking saturated mop 
I try to see the light but I just wanna drop 
I try to fucking fight but I’m in too much shock
Got the glock pressed to my eye and it goes pop 
The casings hit the floor and they're bagged up by the cops 
Unrecognized, get a DNA swab 
I’m decaying where they’re tracing, where I’m laying out, with chalk

CHALK

Just when I ascended everything I manifested 
I accepted all my flaws 
still I’m feeling disconnected 
No pretentious can’t pretend it 
All my plans I have projected 
Astral travel trough the planes 
Anything you recommendin 

High and mighty on the rise 
Talk my shit I’m redefined 
Had to look you in the eyes 
Proceed to fill you up with lies 
Come on shorty don’t you cry 
With so much time up in this life 
We slowly have to realizes 
How death will come on by surprise 

Ropes and chains some added weight 
To make sure you drown inna lake
Have you meeting with yo faith 
enough to keep yo moms awake 

Ay time I pave my lane
Razor blades across my veins 
Wrist tied up to shackles 
I unravel like a cast away 


Rollin back I levitate
Rise up from problems Neva late 
Everything that I create I see you slowly envy me
see the snake in front of me
I’m wishin I can never speak 
Emotions got my body floatin 
See the better side of things 


Got the pistol blowin loadin up a magazine
Everyday I’m decomposing when I’m off amphetamines 
Damn 
You know what I mean 
Twisted off that Dramamine 
Hopin one day I be floatin 
Trippin off that mescaline 

No ambition flowin going trough my misery 
Tired of these moments overloading in my memory 
Anything that I see 
Get rid of my enemies 
Blocka with the choppa turn yo life into a mystery 

Falling trough these broken skies 
My demons won’t see trough the light 
Fallen angels with no halo 
Lookin for a homicide 
Homie this be do or die 
I love to thrive all trough the night
life entangled feel dismantled closest thing to crucified 

Can’t you let me go 
Lost it all I got no hope  
Lost all motivation never waitin 
For some miracle 

Bitch get off me hoe 
Never needed anymore 
Kill me now or kill me slow 
My soul already decomposed  

Had to get up to this level
Movin up and never settle 
Say you special no potential 
Never given no credentials 

See it trough the bottom end 
That lovey shit I play pretend 
start the wave you ride the trends 
Can’t mimic on my sufferin

Every time you hide run away with all your pride
Shame full cuss your life unstable 
Never are you satisfied 
Always grippin on my nine 
Switch it to a 45 
40’s always sippin OE 
I be feelin redefined 

All the things you say claim you can reciprocate 
Auras matchin right before us 
chillin in the astral planes 
Claimin that I been insane 
I let you get inside my brain 
Horus chillin with pandora 
Smokin blunts with Kirt cobain 

No it’s never late 
Use your time to go create 
Patient mixed up motivation 
Why you always hesitate 
Let me go and demonstrate 
The way you go and play the game 
Stay consistent in your lane 
Respect the things you tolerate

sometimes i just love the violence (prod by rikka.rix & prodbyadl)

"Cosmic Cajun"

Late night, keep on driving to the unknown 
Creeping with the knife, might end it all alone
The smoke is twisting to the sky, the music playing on my phone 
My eyes are getting heavy, but I don’t wanna go home 
My palms are getting sweaty, I can feel them fucking drip
My legs are getting fucking heavy, feel like I’m gonna tip 
Take a rip of the nic then I dip 
Feel the burning on the wrist 
Hurting deep inside a pit 
Tryna get a grip 
I’m addicted to feeling like shit 
I can’t help but hate to exist 
Sleeping in, I’m vacant within 
Everything is caving in 
I’m a guest in my own skin 
Greeting the reaper with a grin
I’m burning into fucking bits of sand eroding every tidal hit
I’m damaging my body I’m not managing I’m spotty and I cannot cope 
I’m foggy like I need some coffee hearing disembodied voices everywhere I go 
Waiting in the lobby of my frontal lobe I don’t know where to go

Laying in my bed, my head is on the pillow I’m thinking bout my death 
I’m just a speck of tiny dust from a lightless star that reached the end and now it’s floating far
Galaxy inside my head and I’m now floating to fucking mars 
Just a dying star 
What’s the point in living if my fear ajared
Getting closer to my death, like diabetics and candy bars 
Rotting in the bed again, losing my own resonance like the wood of a guitar 
The moon has reached its cycle so I’m grabbing the rifle 
Frontal lobe is on a spiral 
Blowing it in the church aisle 
Every night is a new trial 
I’m in denial, I got the rope around the throat so the damage spinal




Produced by oceanash

Cosmic Cajun

"Gators and Ghosts"

Lurking in the lagoon
I’m eating cajun fries seasoned with gloom
I feel like nothing inside, molecules have all died 
Sweep evidence with a broom
Under the rug, I’m removing the shoes 
The blood has soaked through 
Using the bleach so you won’t see the clues in the room, when the lights are turning blue

Creeping in the swamp 
Throwing bodies to the gators and they chomp 
Floating parts in nature but the water calm
Rolling papers, smoke keep on blowing with the fucking palms
Person missing, snakes are hissing, on their heads I fucking stomp
I’m no longer living, seeing visions of myself embalmed 
I’m saying Avada Kedavra when I’m waving my wand 
Floor of the creek, I’m in the fog
Cypress trees next to the bog 
Is where I hid the bloody saw and all my flaws with muddy cloth
Feel the claws when I draw the prey closer then they caught up in my jaws 
Eat ‘em like Pulled pork with a side of Cole slaw 
Now I'm wanting more
Skeleton galore hid beneath the river shore 
Now my vision twisting more, my face melting to a corpse

A million thoughts I’m torn 
Now I’m exploding with gore
From my brain, I go insane, from the pressure I cannot contain 
I’m Breaking from chains, I never maintain a minute or moment of peace 
I feel deceased, my DMT released 
I don’t want my heart to beat, I think it ceasing during my sleep, so I’m avoiding counting the sheep
Making the beats, I got my enemies all on their fucking knees 
Now I’m speeding off smoking the weed 
I stuff it up in a honey berry blunt   
3 gram cherry keep making me dizzy and lighting the room up 

Sneaking through grasses 
Weaken from the gashes 
Blood is seeping like molasses, slowly leaking as the match is lit 
Look into your head as I’m detaching it
Use the fucking knife, I take your life and then I’m stashing it 
Grabbing the resin, I’m dabbing it 
Dragging the bat before whacking it 
I’m hacking with the hatchet 
I'm takin your body, I’m wrapping it 
I'm cracking my skull cuz demons inhabit it



Produced by oceanash

Gators and Ghosts

“3AM: INSOMNIAC”

All day in my head
Someone get me out this dread 
Can’t get out this fucking bed
Nightmares, I fled 
And I wake up in a sweat
And I feel fucking dead
In the dirt I fucking rot 
Knock knock, smoking the pot
So don’t call my phone 
Leave me alone
I don’t feel home in my bones 
My emotions turning blue 
All I feel is fucking gloom 
Boofing as I hear the raindrops on the roof 


Looking at the fucking lead
Look up and I pled 
Wrist I fucking shred
Stars watch me bled
Looking-Looking at the lead 
Look up and I pled 
Wrist I fucking shred
Stars watch me bled



Shadows blocking out the light now the moon is red
I’m in bed looking at the sky at 3AM spreading dread
Puking up my fucking guts 
Got blood all in the fucking cuts
Decaying like I’m fucking rust
I’m running out of things I trust
All in my head I’m thinking thoughts bizarre like “is earth purgatory and will my ashes fit a in jar?”
Smoking dabs late at night that taste like maple I’m not stable 
Watching cable 
Bong rips and backwoods all on the tables
Tryna get some rest 
Reaching into my fucking chest 
Nothing in it I’m depressed 
Never find a way to decompress
I’m darkness in the fucking flesh 
In my eyes you see the death
You can see the flies around my head




Produced by oceanash

3AM: INSOMNIAC

-negative music-
GLOOM ⛓
GREY - @grey_official
CRI$I$ 333 - @crisis333
Cyrazami - @cyrazami
Nightraverse -@nightraverse

LOCKJAW [ft. CRI$I$ 333][prod. SCARYPLAIN]

oceanash

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