@john-mayer-815441220 thank you!! 💜💜

HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER: SYNTH & SPITE VERSION

Lyrics:

i used to decorate my bruises 
glitter smearing all over my bad ideas
with strawberry gloss and smokey puffs
turns out wanting freedom kept me cuffed
glitter smearing all over my bad ideas

they called me sugar, they called me sweet
but never asked what’s underneath
killed my confidence, then called me friend
isn’t that how monsters are made?

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

i lit a candle in their coffins
just to see if their ghosts would dance
they went crazy, like all my ex-girlfriends
then vanished when i took a stance

i stitched my mouth with safety pins
to keep all my monsters within 
but damn i look so pretty when i bite
and smile with cyanide

i buried her
the girl who glowed
under pink skies and clouds of smoke
now all that’s left
is teeth and thread—
a myth reborn
from all she bled

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

i used to be so nice, 
but everyone took advantage
made a joke out of me
now i'm the one bursting into laughter (hahaha)

everyone i ever  loved 
slowly pulled me apart 
now fairies are dying inside of me
like a pixie plague of dust

isn’t this how monsters are made? 
i don’t know who i am without all this pain

isn't this how monsters are made? 
i don’t know who i am without pain

isn't this how monsters are made? 
i don’t know who i am without pain

DEAD FAIRIES (Demo)

Lyrics:

 i think i was born different 
a little magical, a little rare
 like while people star-gazed
 i saw worlds in my head
it felt lonely 
that no one could understand

 i’ve never been able to be  fully here 
because half of me died  before i was ten
 i’ve never known  a life without grief 
but i promised myself  i would create something out of it
 and despite the downfalls
 i followed those dreams 

the emptiness  echoed so loud 
that i fell in love  with designing sounds
 but a part of me  is still there  by the door  
waiting for someone 
to come home 

i was too young  to know betrayal  
the way i did 
some days i wish  i just got 
to be a kid
so i think it’s time  to return to her  
and seek out justice for all the times
 everyone pretended  they didn’t notice
i was getting hurt

the emptiness  echoed so loud 
that i fell in love  with designing sounds
 but a part of me  is still there  by the door  
waiting for someone 
to come home 

no one loved me hard enough
 for me to believe it 
i became an orchestra of longing
to be found— except no one ever did

so i tucked my thoughts  so deep within 
i woke up one day  and i was out of reach
it was different once i turned sixteen
and my wounds became  
displayed on my skin

the emptiness  echoed so loud 
that i fell in love  with designing sounds
 but a part of me  is still there  by the door  
waiting for someone 
to come home 

i murmur spells 
while the world sleeps
 i still got magic
growing inside of me

i murmur spells 
while the world sleeps
 i still got magic
growing inside of me

GRIMOIRE (Demo)

Lyrics:

my blood is cold, 
my mind is bright 
i’m a runway-walking
 warning sign

rocking my black dress,
 hell’s bells chime 
revenge tastes like power — 
now i’m beautifully malign

 i used to cry myself to sleep 
now i lick blood off knives 
(like it’s cherry lip gloss )

 i look so pretty when i bite 
i kissed God then left him behind 
your prayers won’t reach my high 
my female rage is undressed
 the whole earth shakes in fright 
tell me how does it feel to be
 deeply horrified?

 i sleep during the day
 and haunt men when it’s dark 
 feral wolf 
i’m more than just a bark
(mary jane laced with violet flames)

 i’m no longer that girl you contained
 sexualized and vandalized
 i’m the ending you deserved

 i look so pretty when i bite 
i kissed God then left him behind 
your prayers won’t reach my high 
my female rage is undressed
 the whole earth shakes in fright 
tell me how does it feel to be
 deeply horrified?

 tell me, how does it feel
 to have your fate in someone else’s hands? 
your dignity distilled
into venomous wine 
you made a monster 
isn’t she great?

 tell me, how does it feel
to press on your buttons 
 and collect poison in packs
 you covered me in wounds,
 but i eat my enemies like snacks

 i look so pretty when i bite 
i kissed God then left him behind 
your prayers won’t reach my high 
my female rage is undressed
 the whole earth shakes in fright 
tell me how does it feel to be
 deeply horrified?

(i look so pretty when i bite 
 strutted deadly through the night
i look so pretty when i bite)

PRETTY WHEN I BITE (Demo)

Epic ☆Trap-Dub with a Blend of Moviescore with lots of-> synths, strings, cool variety of drumms, fx sounds, saxophone, bass, keys & much more
#TrapCinematic

#CinematicTrap

#EpicTrap

#InstrumentalTrap

#TrapBeat

#CinematicInstrumental

#TrapScore

#TrapOrchestral

#HybridTrap

#NewMusic

#SoundCloudFinds

#UndergroundBeats

#MusicProducer

#Beatmaker

#UpNext

#SupportIndependentArtists

#SoundCloudDaily

"Digit@l Paradox" PT II

Lyrics:

i remember leaving 
quietly closed the door 
i didn’t say goodbye to you 
i was too tired out

i took all my journals
left most of my clothes
i couldn’t fit 6 years of my life
and drag them to the airport

we got married
somewhere in central park
i had dreamt of new york
for so long

but once i got there
it never felt like home
just my blood packed in a suitcase
for 11 months

if time heals pain
why does it still hurt the same? 

if time heals pain
why does it still hurt the same? 

i still like the sound of the rain
the way it clobbers the ground
and touches it just enough
to melt and spread around 

i recall our fire escape
and my old college town 
and the way you would burst into tears
while i was holding it down 

i left my friends and went to New York
i had no job, so i had no choice 
and i cried on the bus, flooded the floors
from beginning to end of the road

once i arrived, i wanted to go 
brooklyn was nice, but it wasn’t my home
6 roommates and i, smoking some dope
hotboxing the place, sliding the slope 

if time heals pain
why does it still hurt the same? 

if time heals pain
why does it still hurt the same? 

for those 2 years and a half 
something in me just shut down
surviving your fluctuations
like fall leaves tinged with brown

every winter
i died a little more 
and by the time summer arrived
i just didn’t care for the sun 

some parts of it were fun
like the smoke in my lungs 
but most days i just wanted to run 
undo the love that was already done 
my body was there, but my mind was gone
it wasn’t just you, we both did it wrong
‘cause you pulled the trigger, but i held the gun

if time heals pain
why does it still hurt the same? 

if time heals pain
why does it still hurt the same?

HOTBOX (Demo)

🌕🍇 Jelly on the Moon 🍇🌕
This wobbles where gravity shouldn't, a squishy, happy groove built from pure joy and strange angles. No vocals, no rules, just beats, bounce, and a synth that might be giggling. Like dancing in your socks on a moon crater with zero expectations and maximum grin. 🍇🌕

🙃 For everyone who smiles without knowing why.

💨 The kettle steamed with delight and blurted “I didn’t even realize I was bobbing, I just was”
🧊 The ice dispenser dropped a cube and whispered “This is the sound of joy with no origin”
🌀 The blender spun in slow motion and hummed “I don’t know what genre this is, but I’d puree it again”

🍇 One for the dance floor daydreamers and weird little moonwalks in the kitchen.

🛠️ Cooked up in FL Studio with giggling synths, bouncy blips, and pure sonic jelly.

Not trendy, not a chart hit. But it makes me smile and that's what counts.

💌 Please let me know if you'd like me to make more like this.

🌕🍇 Jelly on the Moon 🍇🌕

CHAINSMOKE (Final Final Demo)

A dark, seductive journey through pulsing basslines, hypnotic synths, and haunting vocals. "Just One Spark" captures the moment desire ignites chaos — and you surrender to the flame.

Just one spark
Burned it all
I danced with flame
Just for the thrill
Now I’m numb
But burning still
No way back
No lie to forgive
Just a ghost
Who dared to live

Is this all? Just scars
Life gave, then took
Call it sin, call it luck
I just needed one look
Now it spirals, thin as smoke
Cut me deep, no joke
Kissed the void, gave in
Now I bleed in the skin I’m in

I danced with flame
Just for the thrill
Now I’m numb
But burning still
No way back
No lie to forgive
Just a ghost
Who dared to live

Freedom stung
Like wine on skin
Midnight smiled
I let it in
Desire cut
Soft and slow
Now my mirror
Doesn’t glow
Laughed at fate
Now I choke
On every dream
I ever spoke

I danced with flame
Just for the thrill
Now I’m numb
But burning still
No way back
No lie to forgive
Just a ghost
Who dared to live

Whispers fading out
It was just fun...
But now I rot.

F'd Like Taylor Rain

Just One Spark

Meditation Vibration

I'm not gonna lie to you guys, this one's gonna assault your ears.  It's rough and nasty.  This is actually a live version of a track we released years ago, originally called "Who Were Fanny And Phaggot?"  This is also the only song to feature our occasional bassist, Dick Wartz, who plays bass on both versions.  Gremescer plays guitar and vocals, and Mick Mack is on drums.  This track was recorded on a Tascam 4 track tape machine, and believe me, it shows.  There's some mighty fine tape rasp and hiss in there for some of the real audiophiles out there.  Don't say you weren't warned.  

Recorded on July 29, 2025

Dark Slide of the Moon - Live

*trigger warning
pov from one who has suffered sexual abuse or exploited. The erasing of the words of those not believed or heard. Why does no one believe the victims? 
Written by ilasky. Production by @NU11//BROADAC57

#womenartist #protest #endsilence #believevictims #assault #emotional

silence washed away

Sister Hilma loves you more than words can say

I wrote this song in 2020. 
Little did I know that the song would turn into reality so very quickly. 


LYRICS:

What a time to be alive
Oily puddles toxic skies
Stirred up hatred, lies, no big surprise


Reflections can not 
Hide the facts
They've seen it all
In those windswept skies 
And those empty eyes

	
What a time to be alive
Oily puddles toxic skies
Lies and hate, well there's no big surprise

Cause all they've ever known is fight
And we lost it over night 
But we got our pride 
So that's quite alright


I thought I saw you down the street
On the pavement where we used to be

But you aren't hiding 
You are gone
How did we get to this
How did it come to this
What have we done


No one's laughing since the day
The day of broken dreams
The day we've broken everything

No one's seen the sun for days
It's just how we feared
When the world would disappear


No one's laughing since the day
The day of broken dreams
The day we've broken everything

No one's seen the sun for days
And it's how we feared
When the world would disappear
	

No one's laughing
No one's laughing now
No one's laughing
No one's laughing now

03 Toxic Heat

just for fun🤗💃hope you like


https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=kP3zOEJ9DdE&feature=shared

https://open.spotify.com/album/1WKMAUo1HNMi21AWKDALAG?si=ggPOFWq7RNyw0aetEu-NVw

https://music.apple.com/us/song/love-your-body/1836582256



Love Your Body.mp3


Water drips quietly, I'm afraid to hear "yes"
You're leaving, and you're leaving forever
It's hard to talk and explain anything
Maybe I'll learn to live anew
Step out the door now, heart, hold on
Anyway, I'm only with you

We never forgave each other's betrayals
And we didn't know what to give each other in return
But love will seep from the wound
I will beat my wings against the glass to get to you

But love will seep from the wound
I will beat my wings against the glass to get to you

White smoke from cigarettes, and the eyes change color
There's no more time in the broken cup
Later everything will pass, my love sails
Somewhere in the sky, who will dare to catch it?
The truth in silence, heart, hold on
I'll stay, but I'm with you

We never forgave each other's betrayals
And we didn't know what to give each other in return
But love will seep from the wound
I will beat my wings against the glass

We never forgave each other's betrayals
And we didn't know what to give each other in return

We never forgave each other's betrayals
And we didn't know what to give each other in return
But love will seep from the wound
I will beat my wings against the glass to get to you

But love will seep from the wound
I will beat my wings against the glass to get to you

HOTBOX (Demo)

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user281981355 JOE D

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