artwork: alfred hilto, Curves and Straight Lines, 1948.

pure hatred

4/9

and i tell myself
nothing bad's going to happen
without me

all it ever meant to live
was because of you
this wasn't about me

i guess that's where the wind blows
it's a fall from grace now
looking outside counting the days down

i hate being in my own body
i wish i could be happy for once
but nothing ever makes me love

i'm tired, a shaking mess
you wouldn't see that if you just never kept
everything away from me
don't you see

i'm so tired of wasting breath
on a song that i do not mean
i guess i'm selfish to be selfless

and i tell myself
nothing bad's going to happen
without me

all it ever meant to live
was because of you
this wasn't about me

decrescendo

5/9
doves and pigeons

and i tell myself
i'm fine

and i tell myself
i'm fine

and i tell myself
i'm fine

and i tell myself
i'll be fine

and i'll tell myself 
i'll be fine

it's all just a dream
you told me not think too hard
i guess i'll be fine

there's not much else i can do
but leave the past with you
i guess i'll be fine

i've tried everything
we're not better yet
everything fails its meaning
 
and no matter what i do
nothing amounts for you
so why even try

life's a beautiful thing
ruined by the hands of others
it all comes around

so let's take our time now
and let's fix what's left
maybe we're in love again

and i tell myself
i'll be fine

and i'll tell myself 
i'll be fine

i feel

recognition

that way

(8/9)
inspired by carbine's "doomsday"

[i've been wondering]
is it me
i don't want to tell you how to live your live
i don't wanna tell you to say goodbye 
so tell me

are you the love of my life
i don't wanna say goodbye 
we dance forever into the night

is it me you really want
i guess that's
what i really wanted, all this time

please don't do this to me
i'll love you to the end
i hope we'll be more than friends 

is it me
i want to be together
i never want this to end, ever
 
is it me
i want to be together
i never want this to end, ever

and we'll hug and kiss our worries away

and maybe we'll see eachother one day

every time i see your face
my heart looks forward another day
i don't want to hurt you 
i just want to cherish you one more way

every time i look outside
i wonder what could be inside
is it worth stepping out to help
maybe that's why i tell myself,

is it me
i want to be together
i never want this to end, ever

is it me
i want to be together
i never want this to end, ever

is it me

mourning

(prod me)

you tell me nothing
at all
i think i'm ready to take, the fall
i want to land into, your arms
but if only we could take what we have so far

am i the antithesis of love
have i created the monster i've become
i hate having been here for so long,
and i hope you can accept my song

i'm scared to death, i'm scared to death
of what i can't believe and or accept
i wish i could even comprehend
at all

i hold my breath i hold my breath
and i beg and pray for the best
i guess you're the one for me
after all


you tell me nothing
at all
i think i'm ready to take, the fall
i want to land into, your arms
but if only we could take what we have so far

NO!

antithesis of love

(prod me)

hopeless as ever
i destroyed my chance to be together
i'll regret it forever
but will i ever get the love back i always remembered

i'm torn apart
it's getting dark
the moon is out
the sun departs

and i guess there's no more time 
let me come into your arms so i can cry

i'm torn apart
it's getting dark
the moon is out
the sun departs

and i guess there's no more time 
let me come into your arms so i can cry

i want to be together
i want to be more than one

i want to take your hand, 
and i want to be more than your love
i want to be the one,
that makes it all worth the fall,

i
need to stay with you
i
hope this song gets to you, somehow

i
need to stay with you
i
hope this song gets to you, somehow

every day i wake up,
i need you all at once
i don't really care to lose it all

as long as you're by my side
i don't want to say goodbye
you're always on my mind

i want to take your hand, 
and i want to be more than your love
i want to be the one,
that makes it all worth the fall,

i'm torn apart
it's getting dark
the moon is out
the sun departs

and i guess there's no more time 
let me come into your arms so i can cry

hopeless

i feel worthless

ib trustt - spectacular
https://soundcloud.com/trustt/spectacular

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