mourning

(prod me)

you tell me nothing
at all
i think i'm ready to take, the fall
i want to land into, your arms
but if only we could take what we have so far

am i the antithesis of love
have i created the monster i've become
i hate having been here for so long,
and i hope you can accept my song

i'm scared to death, i'm scared to death
of what i can't believe and or accept
i wish i could even comprehend
at all

i hold my breath i hold my breath
and i beg and pray for the best
i guess you're the one for me
after all


you tell me nothing
at all
i think i'm ready to take, the fall
i want to land into, your arms
but if only we could take what we have so far

NO!

antithesis of love

i feel worthless

ib trustt - spectacular
https://soundcloud.com/trustt/spectacular

worthless

it's only fair
i can't lose something i don't have
i can't win something back

i can't sleep knowing i have caused this
atleast that's what you claim
i'm finally free for once
i don't have to worry about you at all

i'm finally happy
i can finally go to sleep 
i am finally free
you are pure evil and yet you set me free

you are pure evil
apologize for what you feel
but let's be honest
we should just move on

it's only fair
i can't lose something i don't have
i can't win something back

you are pure evil
apologize for what you feel
but let's be honest
we should just move on

pure evil

i havent uploaded in nearly a month so i might as well upload something

sample provided by https://soundcloud.com/wormsie 
check her out please thanks

out of ideas

making a compilation soon 
may have some unreleased stuff. enjoy

freedom

prod me 

don't tell me what to do, anymore
don't tell me where to go, anymore
don't tell me what to do, anymore
don't tell me where to go, anymore

Now look at where i am
I cant imagine looking at where you stand
Used me for four years now i got many bands
Now i feel again

I feel so free away from you
I want to tell you I'm through
I think its time i get revenge
Look at where i am

So don't tell me what to do
So don't tell me what to do
Thank god im not with you
Thank god im not with you, at all

So don't tell me what to do
I'm not someone you can choose
Don't tell me what you wanna do
Thank god im not with you, at all

don't tell me what to do, anymore
don't tell me where to go, anymore
don't tell me what to do, anymore
don't tell me where to go, anymore

So don't tell me what to do
I'm not someone you can choose
Don't tell me what you wanna do
Thank god im not with you, at all

don't tell me what to do

Inspiration by https://soundcloud.com/saycarbine/anthem
Artwork: Cleve Gray "Letting Go #8" (2002)

Don't tell me what you already know
You lied through your teeth
You consider me a joke

Don't plead with me anymore
I already know what you've done
I'm going to sleep for once

Every second i spend thinking of you
Is something i just don't wanna do
Get out of my life already

Oh what a joke what a joke Let's fall down
I don't ever think I'll hit the ground
As long as I'm at peace

Let's dance into the night again
But this time I'm letting go of your hand
As I watch it all fall down

Oh my god I wish I could just live
With someone else to be with
Anything but you

Now look at where I am too
Don't act like a fool
That's all it takes to be happy

I spend my life on the sunshine
I see people walking by
I talk through clenched teeth

So don't ever try to bring me down
Atleast don't try to come back
Live your life and I'll live mine at last (See you)

I walk i walk i walk again
What a joke it all is
How selfish everything is

I'm finally happy for once
I escaped what I have thought
would once be the end of me

Just don't say anything about me
I don't wanna beg or plead
I just wanna live gently

Maybe if I keep this up
I'll finally meet the people I want
It all comes full circle

So what
I don't think i'm dumb

I just wanna live up to everyone that loves me
All they ask is for me to be happy

I can't lose my focus
I need to prove all of you wrong
That's why I've gone so far along

accountability

main sample(s) by Transplant, check her out - https://soundcloud.com/transplant-music

Guilty, are you?

i really didn't want to make this song. i did it anyways.

Artwork by Zilla Leutenegger - "Untitled (2019)"

bpm : 74
key : f#min -33c

So tell me what you live for
I don't wanna associate with you anymore
Not after what you've done
Manipulate your way to salvation and you dont gain much

So what was it for
Why put me down and hate me some more
I'm so tired of having something to live for
You used me for 3 years and claim i was worse

I fight my fears a little more
Especially cause it's not much to ask for
When you lose your lover when they're outed, 
What do you apologize for?

I don't hold back my tears, let it drop to the floor
I don't care what you have to say anymore
When the evidence is in your face, 
will you run away? 

So what's UP
Tell the whole world what you did
Stop running from your guiltiness
When the lights start to shine on you,
Do you, regret what you did?

YEAH
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
IF I GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP
IM SO TIRED OF CHASING DREAMS WHEN ALL OF IT JUST,
CRUMBLES TO DUST

TELL ME
DOES YOUR HEART BEAT WITH ME, IS IT IN SYNC
STICK MY FACE IN THE WATER IN THE KITCHEN SINK
DROWN MYSELF IN MY OWN MISERY
WAS IT MY FAULT?

SO
WHAT, IM DONE GIVING UP
I SCREAM AND SING INTO A MICROPHONE AND GIVE IT MY ALL
BUT IT'S ALL GONNA FALL, TELL ME WHO YOU LOVE
DID YOU, PROMISE IT WAS HER?

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR
LEAVE ME ALONE AND FORGET ME AFTER
WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT YOU MANIPULATED ME,
WILL YOU, REGRET IT AT ALL?

Fight my fears
I don't, shed a tear 
Atleast not for you
Cause we all know what you do


FUCK
GIVE ME MY APOLOGY
YOU ARENT SORRY FOR THE FUCKED UP SHIT YOU ALWAYS SEEK
YOUR WEIRD ASS FRIENDS DONT BOTHER ME
SO, WHY DO YOU NOT?

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU DID
STOP HIDING FROM ACCOUNTABILITY
WHEN YOU HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO RUN,
WHAT, WILL YOU DO?

RUN
RUN AS FAR AS YOU CAN "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN"
I DONT GIVE A DAMN IF YOU TRY TO MANIPULATE ME AGAIN
IF I HAD ONE MORE THING TO ASK YOU,
WHO DO, YOU THINK I AM?

"WE'LL HUG AND KISS OUR WORRIES AWAY AS WE FALL"
I GUESS IT WASNT WORTH IT HUH
IF I HAD ONE LAST THING TO SAY IN THIS SONG,
"WAS I, WORTH IT ALL?"

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