Still my favorite of the album at all times

thank you to absolutely everyone that takes a listen to any of the songs off this album. my first official album. an album about a special type of love. knowing it was too good to be true, needing to love, growing apart, miscommunication. I can honestly find no words to describe what I felt back in 2021. It was the best yet worst year of my life, so far that is. 
thank you to all that listen. I put literal blood, sweat, and tears into this album. and it really, truly means so much. This album wasn't enough to portray my emotions, but that's what being a musician is all about.

And to lil k, thank you the most for hurting me into forming this beautiful creation from my heart.

In my position some would say they wish they never met you, others may say that they hope you burn. Although what has happened between us hurts me, I do not regret anything. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You pulled me out of a darkness that I could never have recovered from alone. You showed me a side of myself I had never seen before. You gave me confidence. But most importantly, You showed me what love truly is. And even though you may no longer love me, I will love you to soulfinity.

https://genius.com/albums/Kowai/The-feeling-since-february

The Feeling Since February ✧˚ · .

there is nothing without chaos

Original:
https://soundcloud.com/mustdiemusic/chaos
Twitter:
twitter.com/korvasound
Instagram:
www.instagram.com/korvasound

MUST DIE! - Chaos (Korva Remix)

Late October 2021;

Finding a true love, leaving behind everything that was bad, living happy with your new, true love. Wanting a better life and future for the best of you. The recording for this song was in one take with all my old equipment. I never rerecorded the audio because I love that it has that timestamp of what I used to have. Without those days and experience, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I was never really able to write a song about any of the love experiences in my past. But man, this girl. This girl has changed me in so many ways. 

“whereaway” - a song about an honest couple, an unbreakable pear. A song about the prime of a relationship, wanting nothing but happiness and safety for you both.

Lyrics:

Let’s run away
Run away from the faith
Run away from the faith
And so we’re out
Let’s run away
Find some place to stay
Where away
We’re away
Some place to stay 
A girl was hurt
And never heard
Her hair was red
Let’s go and hide
Along the tide
Lets go and fly
Beneath the waves
Somewhere okay 
I wanna stay
Just wanna stay with you

(cuz I really love your personality, and the way you treat me, and the way you treat others. And like, how you just have this like- this huge love for me. And how you like- just the way you express your love for me, and the way you talk about your love for me, and the way you just like… care for me. It just means like the whole- like so much, like I’ve never felt so loved before)

whereaway

Late November 2021;

Distance becomes a challenge, not realizing all of the lessons put ahead on your future. But through everything, you’re always there for each other. “I’m here, I’m here.”

“distance+” - a distanced relationship now becoming a challenge, communication is becoming more important than ever. Being as vulnerable and open with each other as possible. Because through everything, you’re always there for each other. All you’re missing is each other's touch. “I’m here, I’m here.”

Lyrics:

Can’t lie
Can’t hide
Don’t lie
Don't hide

Talk to me
Honestly
Hold me
Tightly

(listen, no matter what we go though, I’ll be right here, ok? I love you, I’m here, I’m here…)

Can’t lie
Can’t hide
Don’t lie
Don’t hide

Talk to me
Honestly
Hold me
Tightly

distance+

Later December 2021;

How her “best friend” was telling her lies and not letting her speak for herself when it was a serious situation that should be dealt with us, because it’s our problem

“rosebud” - how my Rose-blood was lying and gaslighting Rosebud into thinking I was spreading rumors about her. Rose-blood and others took control over our situation and never let her speak for herself. “Rosebud” representing the lover, and “Rose-blood” representing her “best friend”. Later on taking a break, until January 2022.

Lyrics:

red hair, brown eyes, baby you look just fine
i know you would love me just like the time
baby you told me last night "no picking sides"
don't u go-

hawk like a Raven, she know that it's not her
she leaves everything b'cuz she deserves better
would've gone to see you if it wasn't for the weather
you always made me see all those damn pretty colours

Rosebud, told me that you would never leave me
Rosebud, let you go- now you can't see me
Rose-blood, doesn't care, only keeps weeping
Rose-blood, hurts you, now you need healing

(and pretty much a repeat of the lyrics)

rosebud

Early December 2021;

I recorded the original vocals around the time of rosebud and whereaway, then I decided to re-record them around the same time as I recorded distance+. This song ended up being one of my favorites that I added to this album. For many reasons.

“won’t let go” - back in December was a hard time. My friends told me all that I was doing wrong. The way I was acting has been hurting them all along and they never gave me a clue. I now realized what I did to hurt her as well. So I worked on myself, I worked on my self-virtue. We needed each other, so we kept each other close. “I need to tell you, I need you... Just stay by my side, and I’ll stay by yours.”

I apologized every night for what I did because of how much it hurt me as much as it hurt her back in December. “Just tell me you’ll take care of yourself. Because love, someday I know an apology won’t be enough. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Bunny, I-”

Lyrics:

(Hey, I know I don’t deserve you. But, I’m trying my best, okay? I promise.)

I just want you to know (I need to tell you)
That I won’t let you go (I need you)
I just want you to know (just stay by my side)
That I won’t let you go (and I’ll stay by yours)

It’s not easy to lose you (Just tell me you’ll take care of yourself. Because love, someday, I know an apology won’t be enough. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.)

I know what I did to hurt you (Bunny)
But I’m working on self-virtue (I-)
I’m sorry for ruining you (I still love you)
I’m sorry for not coming through
I promise to keep trusting you.
Love, that’s all I’ll ever do
And I promise that I’ll listen too
‘Cuz that’s all I’ll ever do

I just want you to know
That I won’t let you go
I just want you to know
That I won’t let you go
It’s not easy to lose you

(I just want you to know)
(That I won’t let you go)
(I just want you to know)
(It’s not easy to lose you)

won't let go (it's not easy to lose you)

Mid February 2022;

Starting to feel like you’re the in-between of everything she does. Slowly becoming distanced, feeling forgotten. Her words become dull, getting harder & harder to believe

“Halfway” - a beautiful yet dissociating feeling that derives from how I started feeling back near the end of February 2022. I wrote all my feelings into a note at the time I started this song and it hurts to listen to, but it means so much.

I was starting to feel like the in-between of everything she loves, I didn’t feel loved as much as she ever said. I felt like I we were slowly becoming distanced, feeling forgotten. Overtime, It made me feel insecure and hurt. Which caused her words to become dull, getting harder & harder to believe.

Back in January I did something horrible to myself that made us cry like never before. And she was there, thank God she was there. But the pain wasn’t just that. The pain was from how hard it was to trust her assurance. And I didn’t know how to build it again.

I didn’t want to be a bigger burden, or be something she cries about. I wanted to have asked and told her how I felt, but I’ve already asked, and she’s already assured me so much. At those times, I didn’t feel like I deserved the assurance. I felt numb.

I was so scared, I didn’t want to lose her. But I was too afraid.

Lyrics:

Baby I don’t miss that you don’t need me
I don’t need you
You won’t leave
I won’t

(I need you okay…)

Feeling dull
Getting harder to believe
You won’t leave
I won’t

I always knew
There was something wrong with me
I always knew
I never did what i needed to do

(I don’t wanna lose you)

halfway ♡⌒♡

Late October 2022;

“Never ending story” - a song about the end of a time where an endless cycle of blocking & unblocking finally ends. Reminiscing over the good things. “sad to see you with another guy, but as long as you’re happy.” Remembering how it felt back then in March. “I knew it was love when I rode home crying, thinking of you fucking other guys.” I was scared and insecure. “And this is why I never explained myself.” I couldn’t have said anything. All that could be said were thank you and goodbyes. Wishing each other only best no matter how much we hate the other.

Note; “thank you for being a part of my life when you were”

Lyrics:

I lost you
Last spring was a mess I made
And I couldn't have you
You were with someone else

I wish I could 
hold you during those fateful nights
Just let down the razor
And don't let go of my hand

Blood all over my fingers
Think of the things that I've done for u
Fetch like a golden retriever 
Run right back and tell me again

It's a never ending story
Always feels so gory
Waiting for a glory to reach me
(But I guess)

I cut all my fingers 
Wait till I bleed out on the floor
Repeat what you said to me
Block me out like the curtains in your room 

We grew apart 
Sad to see you with another guy
But as long as you're happy

(Like why can't you just listen to me? I just want you to be happy. I want you to feel like you can- talk to me. I want you to feel like you're-

I knew it was love
When I woke up crying
Checking my phone just to see me blocked

And everything relating back to you

What do you expect me to do
(What should i do?)

It's a never ending story
You call me just to ignore me,

When I walked in
You were singing
But it's something I don't really wanna talk about no, no

Pretty boy, consumed by death
With his thumb on the razor
Don't let go of his hand

I cut all my fingers 
Wait till I bleed out on the floor
Repeat what you said to me
Block me out like the curtains in your room 

I knew it was love
When I rode home crying

Thinking of you fucking other guys
Oh you make me cry
Why won't this feeling just die
And this is why
I never explained myself

A whole life
Laid out in front of your eyes
Break your rose colored glasses
But all you could see was him
(All you could see was him)
(All you could see was him)
(All you could see was him)
(All you could see was him)

never ending story

BILLIONARE w/ TEMU DUBZ

can can i i swing swing my my sword sword

SWINGING SWORDS

INACTIVE w/ Calico

VICTORY ROYAL

JENNIFER'S SQUARE

EXOSKELETEN

i must not let my oppositions get the best of me

UMARAK DUB

since my goat bradicle started doing remixes we thought we'd show the underground rap scene the power of the Mata Nui

original: https://soundcloud.com/suburbancerberus/figure-it-out-1

SQUARE IT OUT

STREAM + DOWNLOAD ► disc.fanlink.to/VaporRave

@oskimusic :
www.facebook.com/chimetunes
twitter.com/oskimusic
www.instagram.com/oskimusic

@tynanofficial :
www.facebook.com/tynanofficial
twitter.com/tynanofficial
www.instagram.com/tynanofficial

[STREAM + DOWNLOAD]

Oski & TYNAN - Titan

also known as sky soul
Riddim, Color Bass, Hyperpop & Alternative

εïз / "STARLIGHT" Sample Pack , available now!
> https://officialkowai.gumroad.com/l/starlight <

released on:
@hellhoundaudio
@ledgecollective
@mythosrecords
@newfounderslabel
@seikatsurecords
@lostarchivecollective
@wearemyrias
@wearelightroom

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☆2024 contrast therapy

never ending story

𓆩 Kowai 𓆪

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