"ashes" originally made 2-22-21

im over my fears

I'm gonna start this very simple and with absolute truth - im not a pedophile. I barely knew the person who called me out, I didn't even know their name, I had no interest in pictures, no interest in finding out who they were irl, the conversations were short and I forgot about them barely a year later, like most conversations I had at that time with strangers. the second time around they reached out, I didn't even remember they were the same person let alone how old they were. the biggest mistake I made was putting myself in a space and community where there was no age control or consideration of anybody's background on a daily basis. i was maybe a year right out of high school, I am not perfect.

I've spent almost every week of the last year attending behavioral therapy, pushing myself through some very dark spaces addressing my own past traumas. I refuse to spill every detail about my life and childhood, but the biggest thing I've learned is that I'm not a self hating monster who purposefully seeks out hurting children. I refuse to be that image people think I am, I've worked so fucking hard this last year to figure myself out and I have no regrets about where I am now mentally. I made mistakes, I addressed them, I'm very proud of how far I've come. I don't care if anyone believes me or forgives me or whatever! have your own mindset, thats perfectly great. I think being tossed out of the communities I had been involved in like trash was infinitely for the better, looking back at how fucking nasty and awful some of those people are. I'm glad I didn't hurt myself and to be honest, I never will and it only gets better from here.

I'm not a monster, I'm going to continue making what I love, and I'll keep working to be a better person despite the ashes in my past. I probably won't continue omnipony other than small tidbits, but for those that know my truth, I'm happy to have you along the journey

god bless✌️

ashes 3.1

BUY THE COMPILATION: https://telemist.bandcamp.com/album/we-r-massive-vol-1-curated-by-telemist

This is my track for the jungle/retro Drum N Bass compilation organized by Telemist, with all proceeds going to charity. As you can image, im not exactly known for being a jungle producer, this is actually the first time i've attempted something like this. I wasn't thinking of participating, but after encouragement from telemist and some luck doing my own breaks from scratch, i decided to make it happen. This track showcases a more harmony-driven and songwriting first ethos that i hope to incorporate more regardless of whatever genre im doing at the moment. Hope you guys like it!

FULL COMP

guiding light 【WE R MASSIVE VOL. 1】

risen 5

never did anything for a proper 4 year anniversary so here's the closest thing to a thank you letter for yall.

im working on actual stuff i promise. and even if i wasnt yall wouldnt care which is good.

not sure if im taking this too seriously seeing it takes me nowhere or if im not taking myself seriously enough to kickstart this.

i hate my day job. i love yall.

porter robinson - cheerleader (telemist's dnb mix) [free dl]

out now on @apexarecords debut compilation REFLEX !!

Download

Death Fantasia [F/C APEXA RECORDS "REFLEX"]

Mental Scars

Metamorphosis is transformation caught on tape. Every other track mirrors itself — the original beside its digital twin, the human song reinterpreted through artificial rhythm. eSTRANGEd couSINs builds each piece from raw guitars, live pulse, and distortion — then feeds it to the machine. The result is a cycle of creation and corrosion: metal riffs reborn as electronic ghosts, melodies dragged through circuitry until they shimmer with alien texture. This isn’t about fame, charts, or algorithms. It’s a personal ritual — writing, reshaping, breaking, and listening again. The guitar becomes a waveform; the amplifier becomes memory. Some songs breathe, others glitch. Together they form a living contrast between human noise and machine dream. Metamorphosis is not perfection — it’s the beautiful ruin that happens when a song is given away to be reborn.

Mirror Sleep (Alt)

WARRIORS (FREE DOWNLOAD)

FREE DOWNLOAD

please_use_me - [please_notice_me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fxp_Fs4GGk
dl https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AL7R2jK95GiYU8oxPJM5ObrXKwOgZIoL/view?usp=sharing

MAKEMORENOISEOFYOU

OMNIPONY - YESTERDAY
https://youtu.be/P3eWco_DDFA