J Bish x Moogz - Not Myself.mp3

Breaking Point Revisited

159 BPM

Im feeling so fucking tired
Im feeling so fucking bad
I might just go and retire
I feel so fucking mad

I wanna feel so admired
But i always feel so sad
I might just go cause a fire
I wanna see my dad

I know i can never be perfect
And that is cool
I wish i didnt take it to heart
And cried at school
I wanna be like the other boys
Perfect and so normal yet i still go make some noise

I know il never have a lover
A little cruel
I wish i was little bit smart
Wont use a tool
I wanna go home and listen to white noise
Im mentally drained out and i have to enter my void

to enter my void 4x

Im feeling so fucking tired
Im feeling so fucking bad
I might just go and retire
I feel so fucking mad

I wanna feel so admired
But i always feel so sad
I might just go cause a fire
I wanna see my dad

Im lonely its better this way
Im lonely its better this way
If i ever just went away
Would you understand how i felt that fucking day 2x

Feelings

oldschool type beat WIP

I been searching for peace, out in these streets
Thought the money, and the status would give me some relief
But the void still deep, drowning in my thoughts
Tryna buy heaven with gold, but my soul feeling lost
Ain't no map to this life, just a compass inside
Every lesson I needed was hiding deep in my mind
See, the truth ain’t on no TV screen, no sermon or theme
It’s the voice you ignore when you doubting all of your dreams
Lotta people searching for a purpose in a purchase 
Tryna flex for the Gram, inside, they feeling worthless
We all want the keys, but don’t know what the worth is
Answers in your heart, gotta look beneath the surface
Took a trip inside my mind, seen the roots of my pain
All the trauma, all the doubts, all the cycles remain
Tried to cover it with goals, all the money and fame
You can’t outrun the storm if the cloud in your brain
They told me pray about it, maybe God will send me a sign
But what if God already spoke, I just never took time
What if peace ain’t in a scripture or the words of a friend
But in the silence, in the stillness where the healing all begins
I seen homies try to mask it with a bottle and some pills
Try to hide the inner battles but the scars don’t heal
take a look inside the mirror, and face what is real
The answers ain’t in the world, it’s in the strength of your will

hook
I been running, I been running, but the pain don’t fade
Looking out, searching deep, where answers stay
Ain’t no money, ain’t no fame, ain’t no love gon save
Gotta face what’s within, gotta heal my ways
Answers in the mirror, answers in the scars
Answers in the silence, not the money or the cars
Answers in the lessons, answers in the pain
I been searching out forever when it’s been inside my brain

Uh, I been battling my shadow, facing my reflection
Told myself the truth hurt, but lies is a slow infection
Everybody preaching, everybody reaching
Everybody claiming that they woke not even peeping
Mirror, mirror, show me what I fear the most
Is it death? Is it doubt? Is it faith? Is it hope
Is it pain from my past? Is it love? Is it growth?
Or the thought that I been running from the truth I should've known
Took a trip inside my soul, found a war still raging
Every choice I ever made, every dream that I been chasing
Ain't no savior in the sky, ain't no profit in the paper
Just the voice inside my chest saying, Boy, you gotta face it
You the answer, you the problem, you the villain, you the martyr
You the preacher, you the sinner, you the student, you the father
You been running from yourself, but ain't no place to really hide
Every question that you asking been the answer deep inside
Sitting in the silence, I could hear the past speak
Echoes of my childhood dancing on the cracked streets
Every little scar that I buried in my backseat
Now they riding shotgun, telling me that I lack peace
Mama told me, Boy, you better pray when you lost
Pops told me, Life will make you pay what it cost
Homies told me, Run it up and flex what you got
But none of that ever stopped the feeling of a vacant spot
Everybody searching for a reason, for a meaning
For a hand to pull them up when they drowning in the deep end
For a sign, for a purpose, for a light they believe in
But the voice they really need been inside, steady speaking
You the healer, you the hurt, you the saint, you the sin
You the loss, you the lesson, you the start, you the end
You been chasing every answer in the wind
When the truth been whispering it’s within

hook
I been running, I been running, but the pain don’t fade
Looking out, searching deep, where answers stay
Ain’t no money, ain’t no fame, ain’t no love gon save
Gotta face what’s within, gotta heal my ways
Answers in the mirror, answers in the scars
Answers in the silence, not the money or the cars
Answers in the lessons, answers in the pain
I been searching out forever when it’s been inside my brain

oldschool type beat WIP

Orion Nordahl

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