Maybe I said too much
by saying nothing at all
I always feel so tense
smothered in cortisol
you want a picket fence
I am a concrete wall
lacking in common sense
smelling of alcohol

grass in the cracks of the warm desert concrete
faded graffiti in alleys and backstreets
discarded pages of tabloid magazines
these are the things that we passed on the way home
Opened the door to our messy apartment
you said some things and then i said some things too
you went upstairs and when I tried to follow
you said that you wanted to be alone and then
 
the argument faltered into screaming and violence
torn up upholstery into 2 weeks of silence
look at myself in the mirror that I shattered
guess it distorted my self reflection

All caught in 4K and burned into my mind
Put in on rewind and watch it in real time
I can remember all of the details
except the reason it even started

When did you realize it just doesn't matter
who's in the wrong when it's wrong in the first place
sarcastic answers to cynical questions 
indignant words from the top of the staircase

recurring nightmares of sentences spoken
resentment born over promises broken
I wasn't sure as to what I was doing
all that was built was destroyed in a moment

maybe its true that it's all predetermined
maybe it's true that is runs in the family
maybe the past correlates to the future
if not exactly at least indirectly

but I like to think we're more than a program
recursive functions repeating forever
just like a highway with multiple exits
if you miss yours you just can just take the next one

We can remember the good times that we had
analyze data - reverse engineer it
back to a save state before it all went bad
and laugh at ourselves like "what the hell were we thinking"

Discard the days that consist of the same thing
wasting our time on the mundane and boring
fix all the bugs and rewrite the ending
where you slammed the door without even a last goodbye

recursive functions repeating forever

Recursive Functions

I was lucky enough to download most if not all of Cowboy's music before he deleted his Soundcloud. Here I reupload them all for all those who loved his music just as much as I did. I hope that everything gets better, bro. Lizard boy Kyle sends you love. <3

13th Century Cowboy - Ten Below

You Worry Me

Cover photo by me

Lyrics:
The changes in you reflect the changes in me
Like looking at my failures in the mirror
You aren't who you used to be
The changes are deceiving me, 
But the time is drawing nearer
The path isnt getting any clearer
You see?
You pick at what is left of me

Do you want me out?
Do you want me there?
Tell me because you ain’t been clear
Do you know what you want?
Do you know what you need?
Does any of that even involve me?
Did you ever care, or do I even want to know?

Conflicted emotions keep the spark aflame
kindle to a dying hearth
But why keep a fire burning
That you didn't mean to start?
Perhaps its fickle, perhaps it’s amusing
Perhaps its just a thing you’re using
You’re the master of the heartstring,
I’m a puppet, you’re master of the scene

What will you do when they're all gone?
I've seen it before, know it won’t be long
Because what can you do, when the thrill is gone?
Will you ever realize what you’ve done wrong?
I wish you the best and do hope you see,
The best things in life are the things that be
But of all the things I wish you’d see,
Is you can’t keep crawling back to me

Changes

school shooter

Belowground  - Sorority Slayer

demos

running over protesters with my car demo

waste of time w/STI.

Apathy
In my brain
I think I’m turning insane
I’ve got problems
In columns 
I don’t know how to solve them
I embody
No hobbies 
in a genre that I copied
I’m a paranoid   
wastoid
No saving me there’s no point

I’m wasting
Away
I’m wasting
Away

(Chorus)
wastoid
wastoid
wastoid
wastoid

astray
There’s no way
I’ll ever have an array
Of anything
I can’t sing
Meaningless string of nothing
Im Hopeless
Neurosis
stuck in endless psychosis
A paranoid
Wastoid
No saving me there’s no point

I’m wasting
Away
I’m wasting
Away

(Chorus)
wastoid
wastoid
wastoid
wastoid

Wastoid

Ty parzival for collabing with me <3
parzival : https://on.soundcloud.com/pjy8VF73co3K8NRU6


I wanna believe
All the years of indoctrination
I wanna be
A normie with a vaccination
On my knees before the name of Science

I wanna see
Equality and emasculation
I'll feel guilty
For being born a Caucasian

Tell my dreams to the CIA
Cause all the normal people are turning gay
I don't want them to think I'm dangerous
So I'll buy the things and I won't have kids
And I'll masturbate and I'll stay inside
And I'll watch tv til my suicide
And I'll video game and I'll never pray
And I'll smoke the evil thoughts away
And I'll hate dissent and I'll stay in line
I'll be complicit in my genocidе
And I'll mutilate my dignity
I'll be the last branch in my family tree
I'll bе the last branch in my family tree
I'll be the last branch



Last Branch (Bessarion Cover) /w Parzival

he plays vrchat all day long
always blasting the same obnoxious songs
hanging around these egirls that dont even like him
what a meaningless way to live he should just quit 
i think hes a stupid bitch
his secret is he's really sad inside 
he wishes these egirls would date him in real life
playing vrchat all day must be rough
having to do the same uninteresting stuff
loads up the game and joins the black cat
he wants to be a ripped guy so fucking bad

vrchat eboy

You could probably someday tear me down,
but I don't think that you could ever figure me out.
Draw me in, time and time again,
I'll always be this same man,
no matter what you do!

(I'm a fool for you, but it ain't somethin special about you)

Why can't I ever leave, before it gets dark?
Cause I always seem to notice, before the bad times start,
cause you're inside my heart, so I'll take it out an take it apart,
put it right back in, never again, never again.

Now you got me, right where you want,
I see you smilin, wavin a magic wand.
But I know you don't see, what's up ahead,
that's quite alright, I'll just play along instead,
and wait for the weather to change,
and wipe it all away, wipe it all away.

Push And Pull

PUSHTHISBUTTON

showing the world what I feel through the music I make

waste of time w/STI.

Owen Adamcik