own up to your bullshit

 FUN FACT HATES NEEDLES........RIP my beautiful baby girl RAYLA    love you  my  wifey Jk ....❤️u mean the world to me  SMOKEY  SKULL  KILLER
if  I could tell you how much you meant to me I would because you mean the world to me I would do anything for you I would die for you I would even laugh at you if you save me I would do the same because I love you you make me happy I smile when I talk to you there's not a day I don't  have a smile on my face there's not a day I feel lonely when I know you're  there to talk to me and make  me feel better I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you I'll probably be in my  dark place again you save me from my darkest times and I thank you for that so here I am saying I love you again I don't know where I would seriously be If I didn't have you you're my superhero so thank you my love for everything💖💖💖💖❤️❤️❤️❤️ 
  It's not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes it's the smile we fake.  I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human you know?I want to thank my friend Nathaniel for being there for me your my rock and I would've been gone if it wasn't for you but my  Depression is  still killing me slowly So if you FUCK WITH ME my four pitbulls and my rottweiler Zara will have you by the neck I'm taken by the most loving caring person who I don't ever want to loose because she my rock my shoulder to cry on when I need too and she's  my world my everything my everyday  and thanks for all the love and support so keep sending me love and I'll do the same back and if you follow me I'll follow you back I love my Guns my dogs my homies and I love new people but don't get on my bad side unless you want to die... I will never forget the day we met you brought smiles to my face you made me laugh for the first time in a long time to do that relationship that I just had gotten of you helped me forget all about that you saved my life and I wish I could say thank you but I can't cuz you're not longer with me  I don't get why you didn't tell me the pain you were feeling I don't get why you shut me out I was there for you ever since we were little I don't understand why you killed yourself knowing that I tried you were there to stop me why didn't you let me stop you helped me you saved me and I blame myself for what happened to you I know I shouldn't but I do it hurts knowing that Let you slip away without me ever being ready to say goodbye and I'm still not ready to let go of you but I know your in a better place a place where your love and most definitely wanted I'm sorry for everything my angle I'm sorry I couldn't save you I'm sorry I let you go I'm sorry i let you down I wish you could hear and see how sorry I am There's been so many nights I've sat in cried and prayed for a better day because I've lost someone that was special to me. I didn't get to say goodbye and it still hurts. I don't know who I am  lost and lonely and scared but I know .  He'll  never be forgotten because there's a night that I don't sit and cry and think about him he was my soldier my rock my person to talk to when I needed someone to talk to he was he was my everything my everyday I'm never going to forget the day I didn't get to sleep and say goodbye to you I love you Joshua don't forget that rest in peace my angel…❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
If I had a chance to go back and take all the things that I said and done back I would but we can't change the past we can only look to the Future you know how many times I think about what I could have done better when I was with you I sit and constantly think about the fights we had and I wish I could have done better and not said what I said to you I wish I didn't lose you but I can't look at my past I have to move on like you can't just keep waiting for you to walk back into my life I can't forgive you like you can't forgive me 


own up to your bullshit

pa2nc