soundcloudsadboyz

produced by heylog

lyrics:
would u like to meet in the summer
catch up on life or should i even bother to plan a dine
i don't really even know where u reside
pick apart my soul and it feel like
something has been missing
right now i really miss u
n when i'm alone i wish i could reach out and kiss you
but life isn't fair
no life's never fair
the one i truly loved is gone now i'm the only one that's here
man i'm really done, getting tired, might just book a plane
this the same shirt i wore, for like 3 days
throw it on, roll my eyes looking mad at the stains
no if u can't handle this then u can't handle me
i'm busy hangin w myself so i got no time
to come through and drink booze or waste my life
peer pressure, i said i don't wanna get high
but the pressure continues i got a fragile mind
so i fantasize about a future that lies
and u are in it w me, all the way till we die
but i don't want it to seem like i am forcing
anything oh at all, just tell me what u think

always feelin down, guess this is life
surprised i live another night
surprised i haven't took my life
surprised i'm even still alive
but i got way too much to lose
i don't do it for me, i do it for you
i put away the knife, i did that for you
i'm wonderin if u can see, i'm right in front of you

so i fantasize about a girl who i'd die for
and she look up to me, like "ur the one that i search for"
but that's too good to be true
and that is my point of view
if i had to ask one thing
would you die for me too
so would u wanna run away with me..?
through the mountains and things i've never seen
on a hill maybe lay down by a tree
and close my eyes with a little bit of breeze
she said, "i can't do this log... i can't look after u no more"
so why u telling me this now?
i thought u had me figured out

man i'm really done getting tired might just book for a plane
in the north montana, gotta isolate
need someone to break my heart to feel something
cus i deserve it i've caused way too many pains
so i fantasize about a girl who i'd die for
and she look up to me, like "ur the one that i search for"
but that's too good to be true
and that is my point of view
if i had to ask one thing
would you die for me too

spotify

reside

produced by heylog

lyrics:
(keep thinking that i'm stuck 
falling from the sun
you found me in the mud
can you tell i've had enough)

getting muddy
hurts when your words crush me
can we please lie here
maybe i'm just tired
i'm strong when i'm alone
right now i feel so weak
breaking all my bones
i know ur judging me
i left it and our home
i feel u getting closer, hoping i can fix
your only little problem, praying that you'll quit
i'm sorry i'm such a bother, i probably ruined this
i don't know if i should call her, just saying that i miss you
but i'm confident that i got her, talking with her lips
took a chunk out of my shoulder, rashes on my neck
my mouth is filled with water as she take another sip
i don't know if i should stop her, trying to convince
that ur not even fair, do you think this is a game?
scrunching up my hair, do nothing how am i drained?
why do u even go? when this party's filled with hoes
MY STOMACH DROP, NERVOUS NELLY
TWISTS AND TURNS IN MY TUMMY
oh down another bottle it's her 3rd now
getting wasted quick
i don't see a point in this
turn towards a drink
baby let me tell you it ain't gonna fix a thing

i don't know if i can do this
continue making music
i've grown to be something
and i don't wanna lose it
i'm feeling all this pressure
they want me to start over
but that ain't gonna happen
i'll continue being a loser

getting muddy
hurts when your words crush me
can we please lie here
maybe i'm just tired
i'm strong when i'm alone
right now i feel so weak
breaking all my bones
i know ur judging me
left it and our

breaking out of my shell, tell me how do u do this
these stories that you tell, aint no coincidence
forgot how love is felt, you reminding me of it
don't need u to compel anything ur not comfortable with

(i'm not done yet)

my iris glistens, she told me "im amazed, 
i've never seen such blue eyes on a face"
hard to listen what did you even say
going fast it's too late to hit the breaks
getting stabbed busy drowning in a lake
on dnd i promise i'm not okay
associate with no one just only me
talk to people trying not decay

coincidence

prod. sleepwater, tnvr, i'm geist
@tnvr555 @imgeist

// sleepwater
heart gone i want it back
wait for you to call back
when I'm not with you heart gone black
never in love now, the fucks that
hearts set on u, want back
room to run round, seeing black
black
black
black
hearts in the ground seein bad

rotting my brain out need u stay now
lost in the ground
its just a test

// i'm geist
heart gone i want it back
wait for you to call back
when I'm not with you heart gone black
never in love now, the fucks that

the fucks that
did u find it in the trash?
cause i don’t seem to have any must have lost it in the past
and u tried to show me that it wasn’t that bad
then you watched it all bleed saw my heart turn black

the fucks that
i’m 200 on the dash
cause I’m running out of time i either save us or i crash
and i gave my all for u to stab me in the back
but u said that you would love me when my heart turns black

// sleepwater
heart gone i want it back
wait for you to call back
when I'm not with you heart gone black
never in love now, the fucks that
hearts set on u, want back

i'm geist & sleepwater - heart 404

i’m done 
i fell too hard 
just take my heart 
and keep it safe 
i send my best regards 

pull me close baby tell me that you need me 
shut my eyes going 90 on the freeway 
see you smile god i think i’m in a deep sleep  
crash my car now i’m standing at the gateway 

i 
i don’t wanna feel like this 
i go through way too much shit 
the water starts to sink the ship 
i 
i don’t wanna feel like this 
i go through way too much shit 
the water starts to sink the ship 

but i love you 
i don’t wanna die right now 
push through 
i don’t wanna burn this down 
god i need you 
it’s always hard to not breakdown 
i know i really need you now 
save me from my fucking self. 
i’ll scream and kick for help. 
tears fall, i’ll tie my belt. 
i’ll pass on the pain i felt. 

fucking crash my car god it’s been a bad night 
pull me close baby say it’s alright 
cause i don’t wanna drown again 
but i’m standing at the edge

i 
i don’t wanna feel like this 
i go through way too much shit 
the water starts to sink the ship 

but i love you 
i don’t wanna die right now 
push through 
i don’t wanna burn this down 
god i need you 
it’s always hard to not breakdown 
i know i really need you now 
save me from my fucking self. 
i’ll scream and kick for help. 
tears fall, i’ll tie my belt. 
i’ll pass on the pain i felt.

regards

Hope y'all enjoy this one very happy w it! Dropped it on my bday so say somethin nice in the comments :) <3


S A I N T S  &  S I N N E R S

Follow My Twitter: https://twitter.com/DreamsYokai

Produced by McX: https://www.youtube.com/c/McXmusik

Stream: 

she got venom in my system
and it's causing me to cower from her
but every time she withdraw
she seem to take all my power with her

2 texts say "i miss u"
but u and him seem to be doin just grand
can't say that i'm not upset
that you and i were only bound by strands

better watch your mouth
cuz u act so nice 
when the suns still up
with your friends in sight
but i can't figure out 
how you sleep at night 
knowing what's become of you and i

oh the pain has withered
but i'm left with blisters
and the rain feels like cinders
falling away
away
drop dead where i stand
my heart turns blizzard
baby saints and sinners
are one and the same

now i'm all alone again
and baby there's a peace in that i can't deny
threw away my phone again
so now u can't reach me not like u gon try

so why
do u constantly pose as an angel
been sent from the sky?
up high
how do u live with yourself knowing all that you are is a lie?

better watch your mouth
cuz u act so nice 
when the suns still up
with your friends in sight
but i can't figure out 
how you sleep at night 
knowing what's become of you and i

oh the pain has withered
but i'm left with blisters
and the rain feels like cinders
falling away
away
drop dead where i stand
my heart turns blizzard
baby saints and sinners
are one and the same

Stream

Saints & Sinners (mcx)

AMV 💜: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC996g3VWGc
one of two songs released under @bitekivibes <3
prod. @sorrow_bringer & @boyfifty

s/o to my friend @kittiyu 
for getting the cover art done on such short notice 

i should leave her cause i’m always grey
watch a second turn to minutes
now the crowd fades away
i’m a little fucking prick
leprosy all up in my brain
everyone is so pathetic
but so am i so i break fate

you stay vague, make way
i speak to me in tongues
and watch while they play
i swear i try my best to open doors
i’m afraid it’s far too late
to be the way i was before
(way i was before)

the ruckus of the press
corrupted everyone around me
is there anybody left to tape
my mouth when i am shouting
why’s it always cloudy?
what’s the point in doubting?
i’m stuck up & fucked up
my head’s always drowsy

let’s fill the lies with glue
so they’re stuck on track
if i knew what i know now, would it be bad?
i could tell by the way
she would hold me back
i could tell by the way
i had to hold my breath

eh i can’t seem to break the silence
so i decide to lie beside it
coincide with all the violence

and i admit it...
that i’m so fucking garbage
but i wouldn’t ever want you back

i should leave her cause i’m always grey
watch a second turn to minutes
now the crowd fades away
i’m a little fucking prick
leprosy all up in my brain
everyone is so pathetic
but so am i so i break fate

you stay vague, make way
i speak to me in tongues
and watch while they play
i swear i try my best to open doors
i’m afraid it’s far too late
to be the way i was before
(way i was before)

body’s shaking
head is split and torn
the fall felt weightless
you’re all i adore
adore... (3x)
you’re all i adore…

leprosy [sorrow bringer x boyfifty]

5/31/22
the song that introduced me to 9tails
@sewerperson

9TAILS - leaves (cover)

Nerves

fuck me 
fuck that 
i’m tortured now 
baby don’t hate me i’ll fall back down 
i’m saying don’t save me go find yourself 
one day i’ll lose it and drop myself 

rain drops falling too fast now i’m drowning in the snow 
flashback to the nightmare now i’m down bad and i’m cold 
breakdown in the bathroom, it’s shitty i know 
right back to zoloft and prozac oh no 

baby don’t save me i’m going to hell 
there’s no fucking need to worry i don’t need your help 
like what the fuck is the point if i’m losing it all 
life’s going on, pray i make it to fall

trapped in my head again how will i make it out
i can’t feel my heart, so please just show me how
i don’t believe in god but fuck i’ll pray right now 
but through war and death, i’ll always lose myself 

fuck my life, maybe i know too much. 
laid to rest, god i’m finding new cuts. 
adderall xr just to get my mood up. 
why the fuck do i have the worlds worst luck

baby don’t save me i’m going to hell 
there’s no fucking need to worry i don’t need your help 
like what the fuck is the point if i’m losing it all 
life’s going on, pray i make it to fall

fucking stab me in the back and then you’ll tell me that you love me baby
so when you pull me out the wreck, then you don’t even have to blame yourself

prozac

Self prod :) 
Hira guitar op

Lyrics 

Im low Im lost
our feelings always crash the same
My eyes get low
I never feel your pain
guess my thoughts feels bad
I dont even need no stash
cuz my hearts too late
I know these feelings suffocate

Been stressed out
stressed out for a minute
my friend died
last year hasnt been it
sat inside
head tied I been spinning
fantasize bout a life i aint living

and if things dont go my way
break bones dont love with the things I say
My heart wont ever ache
I know things that il never say

are my years gone yet
I cannot find death
when it feels the same
Do my eyes know love
cant decide I fucked
everyone thats mean

Guess my choice in stuff it never makes me sane
cuz my hearts to loved and my thoughts too fucked
it will never stay

I know these talks that we have Il never give
You break my arm You touch my heart
Your such a bitch
You fake these thoughts you tell me things
Like what will fix

Iv never had anyone
you lay these tabs on my tongue
I take a trip
Iv seen this world Iv seen your face
it makes me sick
So tell me things
I Never BREAK

Suffocate

@hammy


Lyrics:

​
it's like I'm off it
rolling up an eighth 
it got me coughing
flossing
drive 
150
I ain't stopping
they walking
why they fucking hating on me
talking 
they acting 
fucking with me 
somethings gonna happen
it's tragic
making money dissapear 
like magic 
I spend it quick
but you know 
I get it back bitch 
bad bitch
she just want my love 
but she can't have it 
wash away my thoughts
are melting in the acid 

so gone
H-U-S-L-R
I keep it sewed on
look up at the sky 
I'm feeling like a 
no one 
I'm paralyzed 
hearts cold
ice frozen
every time I wanna
speak
its like i'm choking 

I'm exhausted
I am off it
Imma fiend
I got grams up in my pocket
thats how I'm rockin
no use for caution
when I pull up
hope I die up in the moshpit

it's like I'm off it
rolling up an eighth 
it got me coughing
flossing
drive 
150
I ain't stopping
they walking
why they fucking hating on me
talking 
they acting 
fucking with me 
somethings gonna happen

somethings gonna happen
always talking 
but they terrified of action 
when I pull up to the scene
I'm causing havoc
always dying in my dreams
like thats my habit

that's my habit
it just happens
friends stab you in back 
like assasins
gotta watch out in the grass
cause they acting
they capping 
I might lose my mind tonight
from ashing 

smoking
fully focused
my plans are in motion 
my flow 
is moving
like the water in the ocean
it's potent 
every single word
you know I wrote it 
I can't trust a soul 
cause I know they are folding

Hammy - Off it [prod. Spacedtime]

Prod. CashmoneyAP and Kado

She’s passed out in the back room
But the party’s going down in the bathroom
No hesitation or self-preservation
Cutting up a line of my self-medication
Cause we don’t stop until the White’s gone
Shawty tryna fuck me with the lights on
Guess we gonna party all night long
I been winning big yeah, shawty this my fight song

Verse one
Cause I don’t want to go to the party
Blackout, I just want to back out I’m sorry 
She’ll be there starting drama like Maury
And when I’m getting wasted I act so retarded
Losing my composure and I don’t know why
Now I’m on my own it’s my own damn time
Get a little older and I’ll pass you by 
Didn’t tell me it was over let our snap streak die
And I been steady pissed since my plug ran dry
My homie steady missed six years gone by
And If I stay here then my clique gets mad
I don’t want to fucking hear that it’s not that bad
Cause she’ll be dancing like Cardi
And I been getting played like Atari
I hope one of us drowns in Bacardi
But I guess I’ll fucking go to the party
(I don’t want to go to the party)

Hook
She’s passed out in the back room
But the party’s going down in the bathroom
No hesitation or self-preservation
Cutting up a line of my self-medication
Cause we don’t stop until the White’s gone
Shawty tryna fuck me with the lights on
Guess we gonna party all night long
I been winning big yeah, shawty this my fight song

V 2
But now I’m high on marijuana at the party showing out I’m 
Chilling in the corner with this ice up in my mouth I’m
Pretty high on something I don’t want to talk about
I just want to be alone, they just want a little clout so
I’m here in the bathroom wasted, tasting something that’ll put me on the pavement
Hope I die at 27 if I make it, can I still get into heaven if I fake it?
But ignorance is bliss, so say my fucking name so they all know what it is
I’m tryna get on, yeah I’m tryna get rich
Saying fuck a bad habit Ima fuck a bad bitch
Now I’m being pulled to the bathroom
But I’m not gonna do what I have to
Trying to protest you, Think I need a heart transplant so my body will reject you

She’s passed out in the back room
But the party’s going down in the bathroom
No hesitation or self-preservation
Cutting up a line of my self-medication
Cause I won’t stop until my life’s gone
Shawty went and fucked me with the lights on
Guess we gonna party all night long
I been winning big yeah, shawty this my fight song

Blackout (Produced KadoOnTheTrack and CashMoneyAP )

Lie Again Ft. Yesterday & Moonlet (prod. Yung Flex) out on spotify

When I think about the past
That shit just stress me
Depress me
Make my wrist messy
Why is it so hard to be happy
I just wanna be with you baby

I just wanna ball with you baby
Glo up in the mall
With me maybe?
And I would spend it all for you
Yeah I know you know it's true

Like my jeans
Yeah they be religion
Pockets full of grams
I keep on sinning
All this pain
It's fucking never ending
I've been going through it
Need a minute
Laying in my bed
I know I'm not shit
Think about my life
I wanna off it
All these fake friends
Acting toxic
Blowing up my phone
Can you stop it?

Just stop it

And I would give my all for you
Just to stop this heart abuse

When I think about the past
That shit just stress me
Depress me
Make my wrist messy
Why is it so hard to be happy
I just wanna be with you baby

Meet me in hell
I'll be waiting
Please be here soon
Cause I'm decaying
Look you in the eyes
I start breaking
Bitch you ain't the same
You keep changing
Why you say you love me?
Know you faking
This the type of shit
That keep me isolating
Myself from everyone
I miss the days when I was young

I keep folding
Under pressure
I keep fighting
Just to feel worse
Not getting better
I hope the drugs work
They never do they just leave me
And my soul hurt

When I think about the past
That shit just stress me
Depress me
Make my wrist messy
Why is it so hard to be happy
I just wanna be with you baby
Baby
Be with you baby
Yeah

messy (prod. spacedtime)

prod. @bobbyraps @rexkudo & charlie handsome
2-3 year old who knows

calmdown

"I gave you everything you ever wanted but you ended up closing the door" - van

SuiSai: @sushisai
Mix/Master: @demxntia
Prod by: @tothegood
Artwork: @suicideoutside (on twitter)

I am performing in LA, July 24th. You can get tickets here: https://www.songkick.com/concerts/38254179-pink-cig-at-1720?utm_source=8123&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=fb4a0d1b9180ab41a80f71c5bea1fa9b&utm_campaign=entity

"When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai”

Lyrics-

When you say me you love me, it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I’m crying on the concrete. I don’t have strength to get up off the floor 

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again 

Crashing down on my parade
You let me love till you were bored of the game 
Open hearts and shoddy flames
You let me burn in the love that we made 

SuiSai- 
That touch of yours left cinders
Trails of your heart set a flame
Lit like embers
Of our past
Screeching stop sounds like thunder
You were my lightning
Filled my clouds with your patterns
Made the world disappear 
liked it better
Then you left me here
To the forces of the weather
Cause the cold fronts near
But I swear id never let it
Change the way that I feel

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai (Prod. Tothegood)

produced by ur boy
from fuckin 2017 again maybe gna put sum shit together te hold yuu dwon
lyric
What u want from me?
Aren’t u wanting me?
Girl ur all I see
Ur all I love ur all I need
U know my heart ur haunting there
Fuck that talk im out here to bleed
Dont die yet, cum for meeeee
Everybody wants to see
No more love for me, no more love for u
No more im done im w u
they can come for it all gotta get it baby
Ya I got a gat now, good as it gets
Baby when ur pulling me and pulling me to bed
Everybody pulling legs now whats that?
Ya ur on my arm, own my arm, hold my arm x2
Ya we’re grinding, surround u,
Live forever, live forever yaaa
Dont wanna die just yet, im only alive for this
Listen baby im w u, and we’re gna die together 
Living for u again, what u living for?, what u leaving for?
What u waiting for is it me? What u waiting for? X2
What u waiting for is it me? X2 
What u living for is it me? ya
What u want from me?
Aren’t u wanting me?
Girl ur all I see
Ur all I love ur all I need
U know my heart ur haunting ya
Fuck that talk im out here to BLEED
Dont die yet, cum for meeeee
Everybody wants to see
No more love for me, no more love for u
Everybody wanna see us thru
I dont rly know what I would do
Only ever wanna be with u x2
I dont rly know what I would do
Everybody wanna see us thru
ya

fuckthisbad(rufff)

prod. trechor boy
cover art: trechor boy
thanks @sinxi for the sick guitar melody go follow him

[EVERY DAMN DAY IS THE SAME]

LYRICS:
im so fuckin sick and tired of always feeling nothing
suisai and erisu is what im always bumping

strapped in the back of a sedan
i dont really want to talk about it need to sit down cuz
all of my emotions went and left me fucking stranded
packed all my bags real quick now
going on a trip im never coming back see how ive
become every single thing i said i fucking hated

i feel so on top of the world, but im wasted
every damn day is the same, cannot take it
i am at the edge of extinction, just face it
my entire being hurts, i wont make it

im so fuckin sick and tired of always feeling nothing
suisai and erisu is what im always bumping

strapped in the back of a sedan
i dont really want to talk about it need to sit down cuz
all of my emotions went and left me fucking stranded
packed all my bags real quick now
going on a trip im never coming back see how ive
become every single thing i said i fucking hated

i feel so on top of the world, but im wasted
every damn day is the same, cannot take it
i am at the edge of extinction, just face it
my entire being hurts, i wont make it
(2x)

wasted

thank you for listening 
<3
@jolst


 i just wish you were here 
holding me 
cause my thoughts hurt less 
when you lay next to me 
but u don’t care at all
blame it on the alcohol
is there something there that i can’t see 
how the fuck am i supposed to breathe 
like oh
it’s okay if you wanna let go 
i know you probably need a little more 
i just miss when you were close
i know how this shit go
fall apart when it gets cold 
n i start to get feel real low 
know you’ll leave me when it snows 

when it snows 
iced out had to put on a coat 
neck cold but my hearts on froze 
fucked up i can’t do this alone 
baby why u gotta do me like that 
n still ask why my songs so sad 
everyday gotta put on a mask 
happy eyes with a knife in my back 

i say i love you 
“i love you too” 
most days i can’t get enough of u
when you leave i feel it 
it’s hard to deal with 
the crushing weight of this lonely feeling
rain it trickles 
cry a little 
nothings real 
it’s so artificial 
“you’re too brittle”
how i am supposed to feel when you speak in riddles 

i know i’m cold sometimes 
but i could never lie to you
i always say i’m fine 
i really don’t know what to do
i need you a little too much 
i’m scared that i’m never enough 
when you get distant it feels like i probably fucked up
get a little too scared i don’t mean much

snow (prod. jolst)

Prod. @metlast

Lyrics:
I remember when you used to be there
I remember when you used to not care
Pretty girl with an evil stare
I can feel the tension in the air

Its done and i know its not fair
Fuck love, it wont ever repair
Im gone when i said id be there
She got a gun im in the crosshair


Theres murder on her mind
But she wanna take her time 
Blue n black heart
Im frvr in line

For a meeting with death
From all the stress
I cant get
Why u obsessed
Why u obsessed
I cant get

Like a tattoo
Your on my skin like i had u
Im fucked up in the back room
Im a goth boy and im bad news

think im see through
Lose my life yeah thats cool
Leave behind your perfume
Fuck a job and fuck school


I remember when you used to be there
I remember when you used to not care
Pretty girl with an evil stare
I can feel the tension in the air

Its done and i know its not fair
Fuck love, it wont ever repair
Im gone when i said id be there
She got a gun im in the crosshair

soundcloudsadboyz

Pabs