L♡V</3 In Disguise (prod. SHVRS)

Daddy's girl ( wasted youth) [☆Paradøx♡, Prod capsctrl]

Daddy’s girl, look for love that no one can give,
Tryna fix your heart with the pain that I live
You wanted a dad, I just wanted to heal
But we both got scars that we trying not to feel

Summer nights, we were young, runnin’ blind in the storm
You were searchin’ for warmth in a world torn
And I played along, thought I could be strong


Want me as your father, tried to play along, cant recall the summer, making other wrong Fucked her in her daddy’s Hummer, chasing summer I was numb, couldn’t see the thunder comin’ under gotta make this song, 

mind that we were younger, i aint tryna remind you of the things that you did when i was a kid Daddy's girl, look for something i cannot give, 
Better for me to forgive, 

cause you made me believe you aint gonna leave, but girl for the trauma this what you receive

Looking for something we 15 and naive
Use me like i was umbrella when he died
and youre just gonna leave
I tried and tried, to keep you by my side,
Said forever then u mistook my pain for your pleasure Left me bleeding while you chased forever while u chased forever

We said no matter the weather, that we'll last forever , sadly after 3 years all effort turned to blame, all love turned to tears, if this your game i aint tried to play, thats why you said goodbye

Baby tell me, am i gonna die ?
I know that you gonna lie, cause you dont wanna take the blame, thats why when i turned to 17, you put shame on my name, now i fear the love's the same

Daddy’s girl, look for love that no one can give,
Tryna fix her with the pain that I live
she wanted a dad, I wanted to heal
But we both got scars that we trying not to feel

Summer nights, we were young, runnin’ blind through storm
she was searchin’ for warmth in a world so torn
And I played along, thought I could be strong
But now every verse feel like where I went wrong

Now everytime i feel like im gonna die

i see your ghost, tells me im not enough, i shoulda do most, but i guess i see it cause i take your pills tryna get relief, but im lost inside your thrills, know you call me cause you saw my golden grillz


Asked you if you loved me still
Bein honest this the only time i want you to lie, cause i know the answers gonna kill, but you know i just wanna hold you looking at the scenery 


looking at the scenery on this highway hill...
But i know that ive wasted my youth, with the time spent with you...

Daddy's girl ( wasted youth)


Im singin bout my lifestyle make it on a freestyle, jockey got me lost on this pills and im bout to relapse rockstar relapse, i dont want to colapse (yeah freestyle on this)

I dont wanna colapse, but this what she caused, not even half a day and im gon relapse again, meds  made on Labs, she dont see how her demons collide inside of my mind, 
Friends of mine tellin that im acting wild again, 

doin liquor and pills tryna numb demons on my brain, now i cannot sleep fellings that i hide way too deep, her demons live in me fighting i dont wanna keep


Woke up in a haze, same stage, new city, same fuckin pain 
I got fame in my face, but the mirror knows I'm drained


After all the trauma that i gained cause of you, ive been trained to resist, but since you gone i dont wanna exist, i remember that last call that ive missed, made me recall bout that fall together we coulda had it all, but you gone and i cannot change you juice wrld i must replace you


I know that it sounds untrue that after all this years past mistakes i wanna review with you but i just wanted a future with you 

i cant see it for the rearview

I know that into  you someone new, i dont wanna get throught to you, but after a few drinks im changin point of view,  i start remember times callin you my boo
Callin you my boo


I was stuck in my ways, blind to all the clues
Didn’t see the damage 'til I started losin’ you
Now the nights feel cold, but the memories burn through
We were ridin’ high, now I’m crashin’ without a crew
Yeah, I lied when I said that I was over you

Truth, I still write songs hopin' you'll hear a few
Lookin’ at our texts, like, “How we fall apart too soon?”
Used to hold your hand, now I’m holdin’ onto fumes
I made mistakes, can’t erase, but I never meant to bruise

Now I'm faded on the floor, whisperin’ “I miss you too”
I was dumb, I was numb, tryna play it cool
Now I'm drownin' in regrets, just another broken fool

I do replay past years like a loop in my head,
All the words I never said, now they echoes in my head
Tried to fix the cracks, but I broke us more instead
Love was the canvas, but I painted it red

Too blind to see all the signs you left,
Now I’m sleepin’ with guilt, can’t escape this bed
And I talk to your ghost like you still exis
Swear I’d trade it all just for one more kiss


Tired of the flashbacks, tired of the shame,
Every night’s a rerun, every scene’s the same
I was caught up in the moment, now I’m trapped in the blame
Heart full of scars, but I carry your name
Yeah, I said I’d change, but I did too late
Now I’m watchin’ us die while you drift away


I remember what they said, but it speaks more than that thay way i love you still after all this years, after all my fallen tears, looking to your eyes like the first day, saying sorry since first date, i know i aint perfect i know  aint great, we could have a brand new start ill go straight to your state, to with you a perfect future create...


If I could rewrite time, I’d fix every take
But now I’m just a song, playin’ back our mistakes, playing back past mistakes

Past mistakes

Sweden goddess russian goth girls (prod caps ctrl)

Snow in her lungs, fire in her soul
She live for the thrill and the days that feel cold
I'm a ghost in her world, just passin' by
But she pulled me in with her cyanide smile

(Yeah i like that freestyle on this)


Sweden skies, ice in her eyes
She a goddess in the moonlight, no disguise
Snowflakes fall, lips like red wine
Tattooed tears, she been hurt too many times

I met her in the dark, downtown Stockholm
Heart like a grave, but she feel like home
She don’t speak much, just moves real slow
Blonde hair fallin’ like the April snow

Russian goth girls in the back of the volvo car
Chain-smokin' dreams, say love never ends
Black leather boots and a cross on her chest
Said she died twice, but she look her best

We don’t fall in love, we fall through the cracks
Midnight texts and some heartbreak tracks
Got a Sweden goddess with a gun inside of her purse
And a Russian girl cryin’ in a vintage fur

She wear Chanel mixed with venom and her pain
Got scars on her wrist like they part of her name
Vodka in her veins, heartbreak art
Broken but she golden, that’s my favourite part

Paris lights, but she stuck in her head
Talks to ghosts when she lies in bed
She said “Heaven’s too clean, I belong in the dirt”
But her touch feels like it could heal my hurt

Sweden goddess, Russian curse
Love in reverse, it gets worse
But I’d die again just to feel her touch
In a blacked-out volvo car we don’t talk too much

Sweden goddess russian goth girls

Wakin’ up in sweat, now my life is full of regret
Wanna go back… fuck Paradøx, I’ve been playin’ Xbox
Tell me, can I go back?
Tell me, can I go back?

Tell me, can i ? 
Tell me, can i go back ?
Tell me, can i ?
April 7th fucked up, all my life screwed again
This will never have no end
Tell me, can i?

I don't chase adrenaline, I'm numb off the ketamine
You mixed your feelings with pregabalin, 15 and naive
Pink glasses on, red flags just looked like flags to me
I don’t wanna live that life again 

Feel the hollow in my sleep
Pain don’t matter when your life’s broke
I fake a laugh like a tightrope
I see the cracks in my soul glow
And it’s colder than it ever was before



All my friends said I changed, I don’t feel the same
Every night that shadow calls my name
Sorry Gran, I let you down — I cried till I bled out
Still cryin’ on the floor, drinkin till I black out
My mind’s a mess and I can’t escape
The mirror’s cracked, I hate my  face
No one calls, I isolate
I numb noise just to stay awake


There’s a hole in my chest, still act like I’m the best
Everything feels wrong I can taste it on my tongue
And It is what it is, I guess, drownin' in  regrets
Told me not to cry when you’re gone… but mom, I’m not strong
Yeah, I’m not strong
I told you I’d hold on
But everything feels gone
Everthing feels gone
(Everything feels gone)


Woke up with the static in my brain again
Same loop, same pain, I can’t fake pretend
Voices in the hallway, echo like a curse
Tryna write a future but I’m stuck in worst
Cigarette burns in my hoodie sleeve
Keep sayin’ that I’m fine, but I barely breathe
I stare at the ceiling like it hold the sky even stars don't answer why
Told my friends I'm ghostin’ just to find my peace
But I’m just tryna bleed out in a quiet piece
All these meds turn my dreams to ash
And my heart feels heavy like a car crash
And, I miss who I was, not who I became
Now I flinch at the sound of my own name
If I could rewind, I would never press play
But I’m here in dark, just driftin’ away
Doin’ pills just to numb the pain
But the silence louder than Novocaine
Doesn’t matter in the end  I don't know a friend I can name
Stuck in my head, thought I wouldspeak, but I just overthink
(When you wear pink glasses… every red flag just looks like a flag, just look like a flag 

Pink regrets (Will i go back?)

Lyrics

Locked up emotions no Cage 
No im walkin right to the stage
Loving you forever thought it was a phase


You brought vices on my ways i cant live without no days, thinking bout our better days, now im stuck up on this pills, fate love thrills turned to fake love hills, 

they said love heals but meant to be turned to fatal kiss, now i know your love only kills losing traction, for you i got fatal atraction

 know we wasnt meant to be, but you gave me dopamine thought of you was heavenly ended like my worst enemy

Made me lost my identity more than 3 years since she gone  got not sanity, takin pills tryna get my peace theres no serenity, my trauma just increase  sobriety on decrease 



Falling on the streers will i ever get release? All the vices you placed on me, your demons live in me ive been fighting like bruce lee
Will you ever set me free? 



Se que no quieres que sea feliz, pienso en ti toa la semana mi mente ya cansada, otra vez tomo pastillas conciencia desvelada, siento no estoy consciente, pero mis amigos ven mi cora ya no siente, dime, es este dolor en verdad existente?


(Dickson's verse)
Quiero ver tus ojos cuando hablo, es que no lo aguanto.
Tal vez es porque te quiero en mi cuarto, dame un rato.
O tal vez más, veo mi futuro pasando contigo al lado.
Ahora se como duele verte con otro y no conmigo.
Grito tu nombre pero no escucho tu voz, tu sonido.
Extraño verte, eres todo lo yo que siempre he querido.
Baby te quiero querer pero porque me dañas tanto? no ves que  no aguanto mas, he esperado por ti tanto

Tantas cosas que no te pude decir en el momento 
Le pregunté a Dios si pudiera regresar en el tiempo. Dile que te quiero.
Quiero estar contigo al tiempo, darte todo lo que tengo cuando quiero tu consuelo, tu amor es lo que yo quiero nadie me da lo que das 
Tu carita linda ma' 
Tus labios quiero besar 
Mi vida una vez más sin ti no voy para más (una vez mas)

(☆Paradøx♡ to my verse)
Jockey got me lost on these pills
tryna replace her fuckin foreign girls 
Its a mess on the highway hills, shawty wanna ride like she jockey im the horse

told me all girls aint the same, but she like  other whores, i know i cant change her like hoe, ive been squeeezin on her tits like im playing play doh, she sucking on my dick like im her popsycle playboybunny tho

Jockey girl (Just After Chaos Keep It Eternal) feat Dickson

Memories demons haunting me ill see you from the other side at my funeral graves open wide feeling kinda dead now
See you on my funeral

She was wasting, i was wastin, i was wastin the time of my life yeah wasting the time  yeah the time of my life yeah i dont know how to feel i was wasting sanity 

Now i need sobriety i know i wont live enough to see tomorrow im drowning in my sorrow thats why im in coffin now well i know  my  coffin will be nice well i gamble that while i was mixing cheap liquor on ice
(Now im at my funeral) 
I bet that it felt nice like the pills that took once i cant stop you know that sober  up i cant im sorry but i cant 
Having visions of my funeral when i shoulda let god take control over me demons and ptsd voices all in my head

Im hyperventilating 
Feeling like im dying i could feel my brain frying again im still goin crazy but im dead now 
I dont know what to do im still at my funeral (funeral) 
im seeing myself im alone in the lonely room (in the lonely room) 
I really need saving these are not just lyrics im really not playing (thats my paradøx)

I say hello to the hell oh (looking at the sky screaming for some help tonight)
Inhale exhale no i cant breath oh 
(Please just help)
Im barely breathing im barely bleeding 
My hearts barely beating again oh

Im still drowning even if im in the air 
Feeling all alone again (cant you hear me)
Im getting high just to ride the lows 

Cause it comes in waves

Funeral

**LYRICS**

Just in case (life on decay) ☆Paradøx♡ Prod capsctrl

Just in case i wanna
Just in case i gotta
Just in case i have to
Say goodbye
Just in case i wanna
Just in case i have to
Just in case i gotta

To young i dont wanna die
Make another song just in case i gotta say goodbye
Take a lotta pills making other wrong
Theres something else i wanna say, i still love you like the fisrt day, i still miss you since the last date

Dont wanna be on death rate, never saw it coming on the way i go, im gonna die solo, you know it makes me so low, so now my last word, will i see the world?

Just in case i wanna
Just in case i gotta
Just in case i have to
Say goodbye
Just in case i wanna
Just in case i have to
Just in case i gotta

I
Wonder if ill see another day, i was praying for some better days, sadly if ill see tomorrow ill keep it on my darker ways, that will take me out my sorrows, sadly im the one thats alone and walk with shadows

(Ammm sadly i dont know if im gonna pass next week like dayum im feeling way too weak, ive been fighting my demons like john wick man but damn for real bro and if i die young, am Just wanna leave here on a song that i leave everything on my bros power, my phone is... my phone password is 10-05-06, and yeah bye i guess)

Now my souls feeling hollow, on thisdark week theres nothing but sorrow with grey air, being followed by a deadly crow, satan really want my soul he gon keep it in his lair, tell me is there somewhere else so my soul can have rest? Will i make it out this test?

Promise to you that i tried my best, but i can feel it my chest sumn like cardiac arrest, maybe im to depressed, so the picture panoramic i cant see, if this my end i disagree

Just in case i wanna
Just in case i gotta
Just in case i have to
Say goodbye
Just in case i wanna
Just in case i have to
Just in case i gotta

Grab my pills and bring them with me just in case i wanna

(Just in case i wanna
Just in case i gotta
Just in case i have to
Say goodbye
Just in case i wanna
Just in case i have to
Just in case i gotta)

Make this song to say goodbye Just in case i wanna, give me marijuana, wonder if ill see mañana, this a lotta drama theres a lotta trauma, gimme marihuana.

(Just in case i wanna
Just in case i gotta
Just in case i have to
Say goodbye
Just in case i wanna
Just in case i have to
Just in case i gotta die)

Si tú también estás pasando por algo así, no estás solo. Busca ayuda. Habla. No todo está perdido. si necesitas hablar mi instagram es: paradox_though

If you’re going through something like this too, you’re not alone.
Seek help. Speak up.
Not everything is lost. If you need to talk reach out my instagram is: paradox_though

just in case (life on decay) freestyle

(sadly im not able to place lyrics on this one she will know i love her)

Love in god ways (sad long youth gone)

(This a time to remember cause ive wasted my youth so play some 80s shit and mackey pass me that mic and im gon freestyke on this hoe)

(If you have the Pink glasses on every re- evey red flag just will turn like a flag dont it hahaha damn)

Pink glasses on, im gon dance till i cant no more who cares if i fall on the floor, caught up in the fast life, when we want the long one, drinking lean and takin pills, i cant make you my wife, its time to confess  that is true when you said im a mess im a mess for certain

Fast life, no brakes, lost nights we chase
Pink lights, heartbreak, still see her face
Poppin' pain like it's sweet escape,
But the morning knows Im not okay  

Feels like these women evil villains, have a grip on my poor soul, really want this heaven  turn upside down, cause it feels like hell, caught up in the fast life, swallow pills like coins im her wishin well, told satan im a soul seller, honey im a fortune teller

We gon ride to California, heartbreak in the hotel lobby, Evil girl, her fate I don’t wanna tell her she gon' fuck me like a born-again sinner, 
Caught up in the fast life, still stuck on the past life  
Dancin' through the pain, but these nights never last, right? 

Love lost in the purple haze,
Still haunted by her name
Fast life, can’t rewind the pain —
But I still ride in the acid rain

Fast life, no brakes, lost nights that we chase
Pink lights, heartbreak, still see her face

If they only could they would make a deal with god cause the want my place, they dont know the maze i went thru to have fame on my face, you just wanna have the purple haze 
 
I know this song feels like a teenage phase 
Like your younger stage, when your feels were a Cage, when you had arcades, you can feel how your youth just fades, when you listened mcr, now you live the black parade, listen to my voice as it decays, this night will last decades

It wont start again, when you made love out of nothing at all, when you watched it fall, As the youth just burned, thats a lesson learned, remember days when you danced with yourself thats another level of concern...

the fast life, we don't slow down,
Hearts burn in this neon town
Midnight tears on a broken smile,
Dance it off — hurt gone for a while

Fast life (time to remember

First time 

First time love at first sight next i know  you inside of heart, told you i aint let fall apart, for you im gonna fight till i die, babe you know y
I wouldnt lie, i know that you love me see it in your eyes, 

Fell for you in no time, know it wasnt righ, but dont matter what my friends said, cause i had on my head wish i had you till we dead, now i see pain tears covering my face hide them on the rain, but i woke up still on this fuckin maze


If i fall asleep wonder will i wake up, hope this fear its just a phase, now yall can see it on my face, something that im tryna hide way too deep, but this feelings i just cannot keep

Anxiety  fucked up my sobriety, im screaming for help now my demons the only ones who show up have no sanity, i remember the first time that i hit you up, you there in no time, no satan gives me a doble cup, friends passed me another, should i fall for another one? I dont want 

I know that this feels gonna haunt, i thought that my friends gonna support, now i know that lifes short, cause im feeling so lost, own worst enemy, head fucked up lil Kennedy, drinkin henessy,

 tryna find a way to runaway, get on better days, im fucked up on the haze hope this just a phase

L♡V</3 In Disguise (prod. SHVRS)

Paradøx

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