damn, it's been a while since i logged on here, sorry about that.

found this one digging through his old hard drive, there's a bunch of songs i want to upload from there at some point. Never even knew he made this until recently though, makes me wonder how much other music of his remained unfinished or lost.

anyway, from the lyrics i can kind of piece together the circumstances being written about here, but i think it would be better kept a personal matter. I will say that it's something me and him both had to deal with, and it was probably significantly harder on him. That kid went through an amount of hardship that would break most people.

come to think of it 2011 was just a bad year in general for us. Mom was really struggling to make ends meet, dad's health was getting worse, and we'd basically been forced to sell the couple acres that our grandpa gave us in his will. Good news though was our older sister had moved back from out of state, so she was supporting us in any way she could.

Zion had also lost a close friend that year unfortunately. Everyone had said it was a vehicle accident, but i learned later he'd been fucking around with inhalants, and that was that. Can't even imagine how hard it must've been on his parents. Sadder part is it wasn't even that uncommon, around that area at least. Even the most unassuming blue collar neighborhoods can be hiding really deplorable shit. I do hope that wherever Zion is now though, he has better friends. Because he deserved them.

i saw a seraph on the street today. he was laughing and crying, cause nobody knew his name

i saw the devil on the promenade. bundled in flagstone, writing checks that I can’t pay

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

carriage, brim your bones

i saw my father on the news today. he was tracing his prayer beads, as the red and blue took him away

bevel the whipsaw for the cavalcade. I’m eating your bullets, with a spoon made out of clay

and I am a lamb wrapped up in thermogen. shear off all the stope you take

keep her there, failing throne

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

i know you're starting to get scared of me
the more i try, the worse it gets
and i can't stand the way they stare at me
but i'll try to live with my regrets

flagstone𐂂𐂂𐂂nov2011.wav

scrapped xf chiba demo (alot of the sounds in here are from that)

honor_7/6/24.wav

BGbDbGbBbDb capo 4

watch myself speak in the mirror
how my words fall off their string
tell myself there's nothing different
this is how i've always been

i'm just cradling my fears
alternating between shooshing and singing
lullabies about their angels

i want to believe

i'll come out the other side
i will not turn into smoke
one day i'll be strong enough to
press a kiss to your collarbone

i stayed up and poured what's left
of myself into a fishbowl and back
felt like the fitting thing to do
this feels like all i can do

all i can do

_sister

medicine

blink

6 of 15, Together

Waited around for him to come get me
Pull up to your house
My tongue cant find the words I want to hear
The world above you is so saturated
I feel like when I open up my door all of my december air will disappear

I would tie your shoes if you asked me to
Peppermint tea tell you Ill love you by tomorrow
Whys everything look so small these days
Arent pictures supposed to last forever

Not even the arms of creatures out to swallow you all up
Could make me unremember you
Or make me look away from the orange glow around your body
Or even the sun crossin the michigan horizon
Could stop me from loving you
Your head on my shoulder in the backseat
Cuz Ill always look
Cuz I love you

Together

Deruta ricco

for kt

you're just out of reach
standing in the snow
i call out to you
but you don't wanna go
i wanna hold you close
protect you from the cold
when we're together feels like intertwining

one body one image
i don't want to go mess it up
still waiting on your message
if you say it, then i'm listening

if i can't hold on to you
if i can't hold on to you

blink

Patrick O'Neill