Avian

video: https://youtu.be/0PK8Q0pubG8

maybe I don't know you
for who you are I told you
it's not that I don't love it
I'm just apathetic
lost in your eyes like diamonds
you say whatever goes and I'm with it
we're close then we're distant
your curves I keep getting involved in

it's not that I don't love it
I'm just apathetic
lost in your eyes like diamonds

if only we had known we were in it
for only a minute too long

maybe I don't know you
for who you are I told you
it's not that I don't love it
I'm just apathetic
lost in your eyes like diamonds
you say whatever goes and I'm with it
we're close then we're distant
your curves I keep getting involved in

so you hold me
in the morning
It's like my head gets dark
and the bed's on fire
when you told me
no, you warned me
of bein' too honest when you're especially quiet

hahaha... fuq!
okay, listen

so yeah I'm scared like a bitch!
this decision's hard to make
'cause either way Imma end up with a different vision
yeah your diamond eyes hit me quick
I ain't even get the chance to say
I don't want it
I was apathetic all night

Apathetic

no it's not to make you happy
that's not why i'm here
can you read me without asking?
can you see that i don't care??

was hopin' i could seeeee you
only if you need to come here if you wanna
baby take it farther
we touch, we turn into mirages no
i wasn't in the picture
was running from our issues
living in a bubble
we touch we turn into mirages

no it's not to make you happy
that's not why i'm here
can you read me without asking?
can you see that i don't care??

hey!
you say your fear is you won't see my face again
i swear that you're wrong
i promise this ain't the end
i told you how i see it all as just a mirage
it's just a mirage
it's just a mirage no

no it's not to make you happy
that's not why i'm here
can you read me without asking?
can you see that i don't care??

was hopin' i could seeeee you
only if you need to come here if you wanna
baby take it farther
we touch, we turn into mirages no
i wasn't in the picture
was running from our issues
living in a bubble
we touch we turn into mirages

Mirages

https://spiritofariel.com

shh

the way you move
the lighting sets the mood
we chat like birds in June
she see me too?
it seems unlikely
or sorry that did I mistake?

wait don't miss the lights now
baby you're too nice
baby you're too nice no
wait don't miss the lights
bit me make me cry now
baby you're too nice
baby you're too nice no
you won't make me cry

what you found you were proud
now you're waning from the fear
that you sold it all for living a lie
so push me down take me out
I'm just waiting here for someone to
make me catch a glimpse of the light
yeah rip out my soul and
take the wings from a bird in flight
she lets out a roar
as golden fire ignites her eyes
she says "I need to know we're not just fucking as friends
no more pretending to love, 'cause knowin' us, if it ends it burns" and
still, I go back, no, still, I go back
still, I go back, no, still, I go back
shh

wait don't miss the lights now
baby you're too nice
baby you're too nice no
wait don't miss the lights
bite me, make me cry now
baby, you're too nice
baby, you're too nice, no
you won't make me cry

babyur2nice

I can't emphasize 'Always' enough

Thank you I love you good bye

been away for a little while feels great to be back

lyrics:

baby what I told you
is a lie
and I’m stupid for thinking it was over
surrounded by clovers
soon to fall over
am I a weeping willow
surrounded by trees?
wonder when you’re gonna sit next to me
wonder how you think of all the ways I’ve changed
do you?

and this ain’t the same
body I was in when I met your skin
don’t know why I’m so anxious to win
and I think about this often
am I the fucking worst
attempt at a coverup?
my identity’s equivalent worth
(fuck)
take out the power in me

(its almost like I know what I’m talking about)

baby what I told you
is a lie
you cried when you read my journal
I died when you crossed that hurdle
and you labeled me as stupid and running away from my life
soon enough you’ll get why I’m over it already
it’s not that important to me anymore
I’d rather spend time walking with my friends
or playing the show of my life
maybe I was just too invested in it

baby
what I told you straight up is a lie
you say you’re okay inside
yea well so am I
or at least I hide it well
I live so confided in my shell

and this ain’t the same
body I was in when I met your skin
don’t know why I’m so anxious to win
and I think about this often
am I the fucking worst
attempt at a coverup?
my identity’s equivalent worth
(fuck) 
take out the power in me

Same Body

hey :-)

it’s painful
the soul wants out
and i can’t see
a seed of doubt
you’re not listening or hearing what she said
and I would rather have this talk in bed
how does anyone compete cause you see me underneath
can you man up and send an SMS?

checking out of Avian my mind went south
i moved back home with my brothers on the couch
man, it felt pretty good to have another one 
understanding where you’re coming from, no lies

and even if I did wanna see if it would work
it just wouldn’t involve
the feeling it requires, rooted in desire
and you don’t have a cause
for wasting your time, when you’re doing fine
on your own

shout out fendi benji

Soul wants out

I just wanna clear something up
I’m from a small town in a broken nation
I just wanna clear something up
You’re never gonna change if you don’t make some
You say you’re so afraid, and for what?
If only could make a couple bucks I’d be there
But I play it off
You’ll never see me in the room when I take off

I swear you couldn’t make it up
It’s a policy affair that no one cares about
And I swear I’m done and fed up
And no one’s ever gonna change if we don’t say sumn
Just stay off my back for one year I’m gone
Only worry if I’m wrong
You’re never gonna make it
Running round screaming in your songs
Could be wrong
By your definitions I don’t match your perfect Image
You’re never gonna make it running round screaming bout your affair
I don’t care

I just wanna clear something up
I just wanna
Yeah
(Hi)
I just wanna clear something
I just wanna
(Fuck)


But you’d never know the half of what was there
If you never ask
And you’re goin through the motions as if you don’t care
We know that that’s a lie
Yea you know that that’s a lie
And I know you said it twice
Yea I know you said it twice
Well maybe I’m wrong but you said it enough
Holding the advantage in your clutch
I won’t even mention all your luck
You were only 20 holding down a family on your own
How you’ve grown

By your definitions I don’t match your perfect Image
You’re never gonna make it 
running round screaming bout your affair
I don’t care

I just wanna clear something up

I just wanna clear something up

forever yours

Leave me on my knees
Make me such a mess
And call me on discord
Yea, call me discord
Leave me on my knees
Make me such a mess
And call me on discord
Yea, call me discord
Leave me on my knees
Make me such a mess
And call me on discord

Now I’m waiting on the other line
And you call me up you save me all this precious time
When you call me on discord
Now I’m waiting for your face to shine
Now I’m sitting here drunk and we’re talking on the bathroom tile
Playing ‘two truth’s one lie’
And I admit your blue eyes they drive me insane
Never thought I’d say it but it goes two ways
Now I’m waiting on the other line
For you to call me on discord  
Call me on
Call me on discord
Call me on
Call me on discord

(Dis- dis- dis- dis-)
(Dis- dis- dis- dis-)
(Dis- dis- dis- dis-)
(Dis- dis- dis- dis-)

Leave me on my knees
Call me on discord
Call me on discord

https://spiritofariel.com

i've been dreaming of you inside my bed
if you call me up would i wake up now?
well you chose another good guy instead
and i'm over it and all of that but i miss you now

i want you to see me as someone you can reach when i'm in your head
i'm holding myself cuz i'm lonely as hell and i only see you in my dreams

i've been dreaming of you inside my bed
if you call me up would i wake up now?
well you chose another good guy instead
and i'm over it and all of that but i miss you now

i want you to see me as someone you can reach when i'm in your head
i'm holding myself cuz i'm lonely as hell and i only see you in my dreams

i've been dreaming of you inside my bed
if you call me up would i wake up now?
well you chose another good guy instead
and i'm over it and all of that but i miss you now

don't fret if it wasn't the world we thought it would be
don't panic if you think it's the end
we're gonna make it out taking effort one day at a time
it's gonna be ours in a matter of time
i've been dreaming dreaming dreaming

i've been dreaming of you inside my bed
if you call me up would i wake up now?
well you chose another good guy instead
and i'm over it and all of that but i miss you now

11.16.22

Buy/Support

Dream Analysis

spotlight
coming in hot
a yellow flash is all it takes I see you when i meditate ’til you beeline
you always do
there’s no rational for you staying
so irrational for you to think I wouldn’t

go for all the second dates the morning after
I wonder what the fuq i said
to make you get up and leave

take my place
for now i need a minute

take my place
before i make you leave and throw it all away (yeah)
take my place
and we can call it even
read my face
i wish i was dreaming
it’s all on me
you threw it all away

well I’m not gonna force it
telling horror stories
i couldn’t show you love in a purgatory now i see it
it’s all transitory
if its a yellow-white flash, it’s an allegory i wonder what it takes
i’ll settle for my fate
but i wouldn’t let you wait
you sighed from my mistakes


i wonder what i would be doing if it wasn’t for you
hiding from the truth is all i’ll ever do
ah fuq! i wish i said to you
‘no please don’t get up and leave’

take my place
for now i need a minute
take my place
before i make you leave and throw it all away (yeah)
take my place
and we can call it even
read my face
i wish i was dreaming
it’s all on me
you threw it all away
yeah

and i stay lit
just a little bit
too long cause i wanna catch a glimpse of it you said you didn’t know me anymore no you said you didn’t know me
it’s my fault you let me go

It's my fault you let me go

https://spiritofariel.com

you are, you are 
the world to who you’re in front of
don’t you know?
my god, my god
he’s a star, he’s a star
kiss me
and show me everything that’s yours
i can’t even imagine life without you
and if you want me back im yours
take it in my skin
and wrap me up in clovers
you are, you are
the best of me 
the best of me
the best of me
the best of me
best of me
best of me

11.19.22

Best Of Me

https://spiritofariel.com

sitting in the country
grinding on my teeth
if hating is so ugly
then why you seek relief?
your lover's gon be angry
if i don't get my piece
so hold up while you're handy
and smile with your teeth

i'm into you baby
we could do it if we try
we could do it all night
and it's on my mind:
did i fuck up this time
taking up all of my time with this denial?

oh my god im so sorry the devil made me do it 
invocate the dark in me
and show me how to use it
through this second death i wake a vessel of the druid
take this cross up from my gaze
i'm wrought for absolution

i can't hear you
i started to want to change
i can't hear you
i let the seraphim slip away!

take me to the frey, take me to the grey, to the spirt
take me to frey, take my phone away
take me to the frey, take me to the grey, to the spirt
take me to frey, take my phone away

we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in denial
we're both in de-
(x2)

i can't hear you
i started to want to change
i can't hear you
i let the seraphim slip away!

take me to the frey, take me to the grey, to the spirt
take me to frey, take my phone away
take me to the frey, take me to the grey, to the spirt
take me to frey, take my phone away

we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in denial
we're both in de-
(x2)

one hundred percent you're on my mind
take your percent, not worth my time
take my day just like my life
(my life, like my life)
play pretend by my side
dig your nails in my sides
be your friend, your only friend that won't comprimise

if you tell me 'i want the truth'
you'll say that you love me and talk too cute
i'm one with your presence, i'm one with my youth
i'll settle my end just to talk to you

take me to the frey, take me to the grey, to the spirt
take me to frey, take my phone away
take me to the frey, take me to the grey, to the spirt
take me to frey, take my phone away

we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in deny
we're both in denial
we're both in denial
we're both in de-

imma let it be; imma grind my teeth
i'm a mango tree in a quantum field
i might oscillate; i might drop my gaze
i might be displaced; i am spinning plays

hahaha

//thank you christian for helping me with this one @collidingwithmars

2.6.23

Ecosystem (w/ cwm)

spiritofariel.com

i still remember when we met 
i saw your silhouette
falling down the steps
wrapped up in a dress
mine was kinda see through
and yours was too
i wonder what you'd say to me if i walked to you

it isn't funny how we met
took an online personality test
i still remember what it said
'you're needing a reality check'
i thought that you could save me
i thought that you would care
i was desperate for affection and i saw you over there
say you need me
say id be right there
and i was much as you wanna talk to me daily i don't care

save it for the rest
i don't really care to talk about your boyfriend you had when you were 19
treat me like a lesson
don't write it off as something that it wasn't, you were broken bout it
yea you were

take my shirt off
and break my knees
you know everything
(tell me everything you know about me)
so what am I to you?
i wouldn't lie to you
what am I to you?

i can tell the truth
if you want me to
i wish i hadn't gone through hell and back to be with you
i almost ran with you
but you can't tell me to
i'm a freer man than i would be as a girl with you

12.9.22

Care

https://spiritofariel.com

we're all gonna die

10.10.22

we're all gonna die

Altitude - a beat

Conman (Grow Up) - demo

Sit in the Stars

Violet w/ abbot

i shouldn't feel this way having spent so little time with you

City Lights w/ gravehours

how much longer is this shit gon' last
call me up say you're glad that I'm well
but when my gaurd falls down 
and the truth comes out
you won't be too proud of me now

see I got blood stains on my white t shirt
and growing pains when I wake up
feeling like I just got hit by a truck
and just to spare you I won't mention what would scare you
if you could be me you'd see I'm shit outta luck

baby how much longer is this shit gon' last
call me up say you're glad that I'm well
but when my gaurd falls down 
and the truth comes out
you won't be too proud of me now

you say take your time but I've had mine
no I'm not asking for yours
(midnight, midnight, midnight, midnight)

all this smoke in my hiatus I'm disassociated
this intoxicant does more than relax
cuz now I'm fucked up thinking bout regrets and what I can't change
bound like tack to the past
no these pills won't make you happy your friends can make you laugh
and your perception's really all that you have
I'll see you when I land
see you when I
see you when I land
see you when I

yeah I'll see you when I land
see you when I
see you when I land
see you when I

perception's really all that you have

video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90nWyCAHRHs

fuck me in the basement
where we'd make out on the couch
in our hometown sneakin' out
been a few years thinkin' bout it
didn't think you cared about me
enough to mention
our old contentions
and our relations
when what you're faced with is paramount
yeah

so maybe
you're why im out of breath
i felt myself compress
hearin' you spent your time well
and i'll savor
the time we have left babe
i'll take what i can get
knowin' all i have is time
yeah

don't know how to say these lines
wouldn't have to lie but you hate the silence
would anyone display their crimes
i wish it didn't hurt when you say you're proud of me

i'm too afraid to say i love you
i said
goodbye
too many times
and put a mask on my face when you say that you're sad to leave
and you were
my world
at the time
and i'm too afraid to say i love you

call her back
say the rest
what you left out, the non-events
apologize
no regrets
when we both know the story has
all that wasted time
agreed the weak decides
i'm here to speak with pride

I wish it didn't hurt when you say you're proud of me

avi's little ocean

member/cofounder @anythingcouldbehere

patchymate

Pinned to spotlight

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