Orchid - Bitterness

Orchid - Heavenly Memory

songs:
bloodhounds - RED
blackwinterwells - 1
yurms - im thinking of ending things ft 8485
quannnic - sheets
osquinn - dfwmn
blackwinterwells - sprinting lesson
blackwinterwells - give loop +8485
linkin park - forgotten 
blackwinterwells - perfect feat. 9souls
kuru - skytearer + wells

Anomaly

https://soundcloud.com/xxlusi
https://soundcloud.com/tj12318

Allein Im Raum

happy trans day of visibility
made by 6e6f637475726e6e6e65

rotten girl , i hide away , all rolled up
corner of the room , i watch them show up
it's so loud in here , i wanna throw up
it's so loud in here , i wanna throw up
you look me in my eyes, & tell me i need to grow up 
i don't wanna grow up
i don't wanna grow up

i hate the way my father looks at me
i act like i dont care as i wipe my hands clean
but i can tell he doesn't like me & i know that's what he sees
i'm just not what he wanted me to be

i hate the way my mother speaks of me
shining star boy , her perfect child , & everyone agrees
she'd fucking hate my guts if she knew who i was
& that's why i'm keeping that to me

rotten girl

myidealbody

heartbeat

stream/buy

only in dreams (w/ acounta)

@ssoh 

this track ended up being one of favorites in recent memory, HUGE shoutout to the @sounddesignday team for being awesome. thank u for listening.

sound design day sample pack: https://sounddesignday.gumroad.com/l/may-2025?layout=profile

cover credit: @ssoh

beachday

IT'S BEEN 5 MONTHS!!!!

First, a tracklist:

1. [0:00-1:39] Kick the Ground
All done by me, inspired after just getting into music again by my friend Phyll. 
2. [1:40-3:51] Achorda & Cvrsed (@cvrsed1) – Ouch
Our work together was not split by drop, inspired by experimenting with my own approach on Footwork, as well as the work of DJPJMADEDISTRACK, a very amazing Footwork producer. 
3. [3:52-4:55] New Birds
Inspired by Tobi Lacroix & Wesley Stoker, extremely talented musicians with even better lyrics. I couldn't make anything that levelled to their work, but I tried my hardest from my own emotions. 
4. [4:56-7:03] Mousey
Inspired by dorian concept, and his usage of physical synths. This was the first time I had ever used a Moog IRL before!
5. [7:04-8:52] Improv #2 (Seaborne)
Inspired by a progression I couldn't get out of my head, as well as the Kenny Barron voicing. 

Second, a few words: 
I made it my goal in life to not totalize anything, to really concentrate myself around a balance of all structure– if it did exist– in my life. I got a ton of new books that I really love, and I have read through almost everything in my original shelf. I am a better person, I have learned from mistakes that I have definitely made and owned up to. I still hold on to something (not hope) that a lot of my past friendships would come to a resolution, but I found that that is not something worth centering myself around pursuing. I want to find people that I can center myself around, that I can let myself go in, and, most importantly, find the ability to completely collaborate with. I don't want to belong to any unjust hierarchy, any misinterpretation (if they exist), or anything I can fix to be healthy for the people I care so deeply for. 

P.S. I got a Harmony Korine tattoo and I love it.

Anomaly

pearl curls