Week 10 Reddit song-a-week. Music Concrete: Use non-instruments to create your song.

The drum set is composed entirely of noises I was able to create on my Scion xB (and with the keys). Windshield wiper noises are in there too. All the "instruments" that are not drums are car honk samples that I ran through a sampler to turn into instruments. 

This song is naughty. I had to break the cycle of sad, depressing tunes so here it is! I must have been channeling Ween hard on this one.

Honk if You're Horny

Honk if you're horny
Honk! Honk! If you're horny
Get all fours on the floor 
And hit the gas, little Shorty!

Girl, your undercarriage has got me lifting
With a stick that needs some shifting
I've got my gear stuck into your rear-
view mirror back it up and let me steer

Honk if you're horny
Honk! Honk! If you're horny
Get all fours on the floor 
And hit the gas, little Shorty!

With my dipstick I'll check your oil
Sparking up my ignition coil
My bucket seats they do recline
Get you off across the finish line

Honk if you're horny
Honk! Honk! If you're horny
Get all fours on the floor 
And hit the gas, little Shorty!

I've read your map girl and I know the route
From your bonnet right down to your boot
I'll pop your trunk girl with my driveshaft
You drive me crazy with your motorcraft!

Honk if you're horny
Honk! Honk! If you're horny
Get all fours on the floor 
And hit the gas, little Shorty!



 


Honk if You're Horny

Week 13 - Reddit Song a Week Challenge Theme: Compound Meter.

Is it, though? I'm not really sure, but I think it's in 12/8??? 

An idea from awhile ago while messing around on the piano and fleshed out, barely. 

Dust Motes In An Attic

A day late and a dollar short, and that's why I can't actually afford a Hawaiian vacation. Oh well. I wrote a song about it.

Reddit's song a week for week 14.
I-IV-vi-V chord progression

Alohaha

Oh Hawaii!
Is it true?
There is no island lovelier than you?
How I yearn
My wish to walk your beaches how it burns
How it burns
So hot
So Alo...

Alo. Aloha. Alohahaha ha ha.
You think it's funny, but it's not
A volcano, burning hot! Ahhhhh!!! (this is the sound of burning up in a volcano)

Oh Hawaii!
Oahu!
I'll hop upon a plane and fly to you
Loh'kahi
Liliuokalani hear my plea
Be with me
By the sea
By the sea

Alo. Aloha. Alohahaha ha ha.
You think it's funny, but it's not
A volcano, burning hot! Ahhhhh!!! 

Oh Hawaii!
Olu'olo
I bought the tickets just an hour ago
Olu'olu
The feeling that I'm going to be in you
So Alo
So Aloha
Alohaha

Alo. Aloha. Alohahaha ha ha.
You think it's funny, but it's not
A volcano, burning hot! Ahhhhh!!!


Alohaha

Week 15 for Reddit Song a Week. Write a song that is under 1 minute. 

Nope.

Don Wanna

This week's theme was the waltz, so here you go, 3/4 time.

A few days ago, my little boy (who just turned 6) said in his boisterous little boy voice something about "pocket water!" I'm not sure if I misheard him or if he actually said, "pocket water". Either way, I really liked the sound of it. Made me think about the "water" you might keep in a little silver, pocket-fitting type of liquid container. 

Pocket Water

I went down to the jail house
To cut you a way
I dug into soil
To clear out our clay
To clear out our clay

Oh, how sweet it is 
To drink my pocket water
Oh, how the glow feels fine

Somewhere out in our garden
We grew dipper gourd
And when we cracked it open
The fruit was dry as bone
The fruit was hard as stone

Oh, how sweet it is 
To drink my pocket water
Oh, how the glow feels fine

Pocket Water

Week 17 of Reddit's Song a Week challenge. Theme: New School

Just a few weeks ago I heard the term "Trap" music and had no idea what it was. So I looked it up and it's perfect for this week's theme seeing that Trap is a relatively new offshoot of Rap. Thought its roots started in the 90's, it didn't really become a fully formed genre until sometime about the mid 2000's. 

The name comes from living a "Trap" lifestyle of drugs, dealing drugs, spittin' rhymes, keeping away from the cops, etc. The music style is gritty and dark oftentimes featuring 808 drum sounds and horror music-like melodies. Subjects are usually about drugs, making and dealing drugs, gang wars and other urban activity. 

So, since my experience is more of the SUBurban variety I present to you, Parent Trap. Caught in a world of stinky diapers and crying babies, everyday I'm chasin' these kids. 

Parent Trap

Wyatt D. in da house!
Pegboard Productions
Bunz McGee!
80128 in the 303, y'all!

I'm like, what's that hey?
Chewin' on a garden hose?
Another marble in the nose?
Day in, day out, I'm daddin'
Keepin' the kids in line, on time, on MY dime
Oh you fell down? You're fine. You do it all the time.
What's up?

Breakfast Machine in the mornin'
Servin' up nutrition with intuition
Sugary cereal? Hayull naw, little D.O.G
You eat eggs, they healthy

Off to school, yo. Get in the van
You're shoes? What? Where'd they go? Oh no!
Lost again.. Probably under the couch...

Hey look at me! I'm a daddy!
Change a diaper. It's only pee, yo.
I got a goatee. I'm a daddy!
Where my kid at? He's up a tree, yo.
Just go potty. I'm a daddy!
Change a diaper. It's only pee, yo.
Hey look! Chablis! I'm a daddy!
Where my kid at? He's up a tree.

I'm like, what's up?...
Ew! Boogers! Oh, let's clean this up, ugh!

Rollin' in the Caravan
I'm a man with a dope farmer's tan
We hit the streets, stinky feets and treats between the seats
Daddy life ain't neat.

Hey you two! Cut it out! 
I'm about to whip my Daddy hand out!
Distracted driving is dangerous
It'll mangle us and mom'll strangle us!

Aimin' for the Target
Cuz that's where we goin'
Shoe shoppin' Jackson throwin'
Now we're stalkin' some killer deals on shirts on shoes on home-cooked meals
Roll it up kids, it's time to go! 
No! We ain't buying toys this time, yo!

Hey look at me! I'm a daddy!
Change a diaper. It's only pee, yo.
I got a goatee. I'm a daddy!
Where my kid at? He's up a tree, yo.
Just go potty. I'm a daddy!
Change a diaper. It's only pee, yo.
Hey look! Chablis! I'm a daddy!
Where my kid at? He's up a tree.

Back at the crib, eh?
And when I say crib I'm actually talkin' 'bout a crib, hey.
Puttin' the baby down for a rest she's a mess
But I can't help feeling blessed. Cuz it's the best
Being a daddy. What up? Yo!
Daddy in the house.

Hey look at me! I'm a daddy!
Change a diaper. It's only pee, yo.
I got a goatee. I'm a daddy!
Where my kid at? He's up a tree, yo.
Just go potty. I'm a daddy!
Change a diaper. It's only pee, yo.
Hey look! Chablis! I'm a daddy!
Where my kid at? He's up a tree.










Parent Trap

Week 18 - Reddit Song-a-christ-this-is-getting-hard-to-keep-up-with-week. Theme.... OLD School. 

So I went old school with this stylistically. 1920's era jazz courting song....but updated for our modern version of modern love. 

I'll have you know, that I had to actually do some research on modern dating since I've been off the market for nearly 15 years. Even though I met my wife on Match.com, things are REALLY different these days with the phone thing. 

Tinder Love

We both swiped right. And it was a match. 
Your duck face gave me a thrill.
So if you don't want to grab coffee,
Then we'll just Netflix and chill.

Oh I can't seem to keen, I can't text too soon.
Oh you'd think me mentally ill.
So if you don't want to grab coffee,
Then we'll just Netflix and chill.

Said I was 6. But I'm 5 foot 9
Will I be an Instagram post?
What if she is one of The Ones?
Will she text me back or go ghost?

Can't seem to keen to hang out with you.
Oh your duck face it gives me a thrill!
So if you don't want to grab coffee,
Then we'll just Netflix and chill.

Said I was 6. But I'm 5 foot 9
Will I be an Instagram post?
What if she is one of The Ones?
Will she text me back or go ghost?

Can't seem to keen to hang out with you.
Oh your duck face it gives me a thrill!
So if you don't want to grab coffee,
Then we'll just Netflix and chill.

Netflix and chill, oh yeah.



Pegboard

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