Often when you grow up with caregivers or relationships with people who are inconsistent, unstable, deceptive and unreliable, as a natural result you end up completing the other half of the Yin-Yang and it becomes inherent to your make-up as a person.  You grow opposite and complimentary strengths – and those strengths actually reward you in lots of ways, not to mention, it feels good to be able to take care of others and make it happen.  However – here’s the kicker – as a result, in the rest of your life, you unconsciously seek out others you can compliment in the exact same way, which means you often end up with partners and friends who are just as incapable or flawed.  It’s not your fault, it’s just the dynamic you’re comfortable with.  It’s also because that’s who is drawn to you: they crave what you can give and once they see you giving it, they cling to you. 

You also have a very specific form of trauma in that you expect and anticipate disappointing behavior from everyone in your life.  Why wouldn't you? Based on your life experience, to trust is to place yourself in harm's way. 

Not to fear! This is not a damning situation in the least.  You have the building blocks for something much greater than if you hadn’t had this upbringing at all.  You can build the muscle to trust others and you can also build the muscle that will allow you to find trustworthy people.  Your solution will take conscious and consistent work, but it’ll be simple and somewhat automatic, so don’t stress.  It will unfold on its own, and it can start right now with 3 very conscious, deliberate steps. I’m going to introduce you to those steps right now.  

For more about me and to read more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com 

If you likee please review me on iTunes! 'Twould help me a lot. xo Sarah May B. 


Episode 18: Learning How To Trust Again - Getting Over Bad Experiences

Read by Danny Campbell

About the Book

In celebration of its 10th anniversary, a revised and updated edition of Jack Canfield’s classic bestseller with a brand new foreword and an afterword for succeeding in the digital age.

Since its publication a decade ago, Jack Canfield’s practical and inspiring guide has helped thousands of people transform themselves for success. Now, he has revised and updated his essential guidebook to reflect our changing times.

In The Success Principles, the co-creator of the phenomenal bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul series, helps you get from where you are to where you want to be, teaching you how to increase your confidence, tackle daily challenges, live with passion and purpose, and realize all your ambitions. Filled with memorable and inspiring stories of CEO’s, world-class athletes, celebrities, and everyday people, it spells out the 64 timeless principles used by successful men and women throughout history—proven principles and strategies that can be adapted for your own life, whether you want to be the best salesperson in your company, become a leading architect, score top grades in school, lose weight, buy your dream home, make millions, or just get back in the job market.

Taken together and practiced every day, these principles will change your life beyond your wildest dreams.

THE SUCCESS PRINCIPLES: 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION by Jack Canfield

Marketing. It’s the art of influencing, persuading and gently nudging people towards your product or services. I’ve had a chat with the Grand master of influence and persuasion - Dr. Robert Cialdini

Questions:

Tell us about what you do, how did Pre-Suasion came about? What took you so long to write this prequel to Influence?

What are privileged moments and how can marketers take full advantage of these?

What types of marketing efforts and consumer product review are most successful? (Why should on-line photographs of fluffy clouds help sell furniture?)

Should you try to prime people in your USP right at the top of your website? If so, is there a process to follow? In other words, if priming is so important, should it be the first thing they read when they hit your website?

Why our perception of what is important can so easily be shifted, and how the US government used this to their advantage during the Iraq War

Which triggers are most effective, from the verbal (there is a linguistic, not just musical, reason why ‘Like a Rolling Stone’ has been voted the greatest pop song of all time by some) to the physical (the layout of an examination hall can influence candidates’ results)?

When looking for a job, what takeaways from Pre-Suasaion could you employ to incline your evaluators to be more favorable to your candidacy?

Once you’ve got that job, what might you do to increase the chances that your boss will support an idea/initiative you want to be associated with?

How attempts to persuade dishonestly backfire: why, for example, company employees encouraged to mislead customers often end up defrauding their own organisation?

What are the pitfalls to avoid in the psychology of influence? Can’t we just be ourselves?

Subscribe on iTunes: http://bit.ly/linkhumanspodcast

Read the full article: http://linkhumans.com/podcast

The Link Humans Podcast

Pre-Suasion: A Marketer's Way to Influence & Persuade, with Dr. Robert Cialdini

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending. &#160; Social scientist Bren&eacute; Brown has ignited a global conversation on courage, vulnerability, shame, and worthiness. Her pioneering work uncovered a profound truth: Vulnerability&mdash;the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome&mdash;is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy. But living a brave life is not always easy: We are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall. &#160; It is the rise from falling that Brown takes as her subject in Rising Strong. As a grounded theory researcher, Brown has listened as a range of people&mdash;from leaders in Fortune 500 companies and the military to artists, couples in long-term relationships, teachers, and parents&mdash;shared their stories of being brave, falling, and getting back up. She asked herself, What do these people with strong and loving relationships, leaders nurturing creativity, artists pushing innovation, and clergy walking with people through faith and mystery have in common? The answer was clear: They recognize the power of emotion and they&rsquo;re not afraid to lean in to discomfort. &#160; Walking into our stories of hurt can feel dangerous. But the process of regaining our footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. Our stories of struggle can be big ones, like the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, or smaller ones, like a conflict with a friend or colleague. Regardless of magnitude or circumstance, the rising strong process is the same: We reckon with our emotions and get curious about what we&rsquo;re feeling; we rumble with our stories until we get to a place of truth; and we live this process, every day, until it becomes a practice and creates nothing short of a revolution in our lives. Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness. It&rsquo;s the process, Brown writes, that teaches us the most about who we are. ONE OF GREATER GOOD&rsquo;S FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR From the Hardcover edition.

Rising Strong by Brené Brown, read by Brené Brown

"Choose courage over comfort because you can't have both." - Brene Brown

If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/536

The School of Greatness: Exploring Greatness from Inspiring Business Minds, World Class Athletes and Influential Celebrities

On Apple Podcasts

EP 536 Brene Brown: Create True Belonging and Heal the World

Lisa Nichols is a world-class author, life coach, and motivational speaker. She's the founder and CEO of Motivating the Masses, Inc where she has built a global platform has reached and served nearly 30 million people.

Lisa also runs a non-profit foundation Motivating the Teen Spirit, she has touched the lives of 211,650 teens, prevented over 3,800 teen suicides, supported 2,500 dropouts in returning to school, and has helped thousands reunite with families.

She is one of the country’s only publicly traded personal and business development training companies.

She's also a best-selling author of seven books, including the best sellers, Abundance Now and No matter what, 9 steps to living your life and many more.  

Show notes and Links:

https://www.theinnerchangemaker.com/podcast/168

LINKS
--

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The Inner Changemaker Podcast | Purpose | Entrepreneurs | Motivation | Life Strategy

TICM 168 | Lisa Nichols | How To Manifest The Life Of Your Dreams

Abraham's Teachings - An Introduction

Process Of Segment Intending

The Powerful Law Of Attraction

In her #1 New York Times bestsellers, Bren&eacute; Brown has taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong, and brave the wilderness. Now, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers, and culture shifters, she&rsquo;s showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up and lead. Leadership is not about titles, status, and wielding power. A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for recognizing the potential in people and ideas, and has the courage to develop that potential. When we dare to lead, we don&rsquo;t pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don&rsquo;t see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it with others. We don&rsquo;t avoid difficult conversations and situations; we lean into vulnerability when it&rsquo;s necessary to do good work. But daring leadership in a culture defined by scarcity, fear, and uncertainty requires skill-building around traits that are deeply and uniquely human. The irony is that we&rsquo;re choosing not to invest in developing the hearts and minds of leaders at the exact same time as we&rsquo;re scrambling to figure out what we have to offer that machines and AI can&rsquo;t do better and faster. What can we do better? Empathy, connection, and courage, to start. Four-time #1 New York Times bestselling author Bren&eacute; Brown has spent the past two decades studying the emotions and experiences that give meaning to our lives, and the past seven years working with transformative leaders and teams spanning the globe. She found that leaders in organizations ranging from small entrepreneurial startups and family-owned businesses to nonprofits, civic organizations, and Fortune 50 companies all ask the same question:&#160; How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders, and how do you embed the value of courage in your culture?&#160; In this new book, Brown uses research, stories, and examples to answer these questions in the no-BS style that millions of readers have come to expect and love. Brown writes, &ldquo;One of the most important findings of my career is that daring leadership is a collection of skills and practices that are 100 percent teachable. It&rsquo;s learning and unlearning that requires brave work, tough conversations, and showing up with your whole heart. Easy? No. Because choosing courage over comfort is not always our default. Worth it? Always. We want to be brave with our lives and our work. It&rsquo;s why we&rsquo;re here.&rdquo; Whether you&rsquo;ve read Daring Greatly and Rising Strong or you&rsquo;re new to Bren&eacute; Brown&rsquo;s work, this book is for anyone who wants to step up and into brave leadership.

Dare to Lead by Brené Brown, read by Brené Brown

FAMILY ISN’T EVERYTHING. How often have you heard phrases about putting family first? Most of us had a plaque on the wall growing up that said something similar. But if you’re letting family walk all over you, you’re doing a disservice to yourself. We get what we tolerate. If you don’t like something, but you tolerate it, you can’t expect people to change. So how do we have better relationships with our families? We have to create a request. And we have to keep our word. Telling people what you need doesn’t always feel good, but it’s necessary to take care of yourself. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about boundaries and reparenting yourself with an inspirational holistic psychologist: Dr. Nicole Lepera. Dr. Nicole LePera is a Holistic Psychologist who believes that mental wellness is for everyone. She evolved her more traditional training from Cornell University and The New School to one that acknowledges the connection between the mind and body. Dr. LePera founded the Mindful Healing Center in Center City Philadelphia where she works with individuals, couples, and families taking gut health, sleep, movement, cellular health, belief, and mindfulness into treatment. Dr. Nicole Lepera shares her three steps to creating healthy boundaries and how to break cycles in ourselves. So get ready to learn how to be a self healer on Episode 844.

Some Questions I Ask:
What were your biggest limiting beliefs? (9:30)
How do we become unstuck? (17:00)
How do we manage the guilt of our family? (23:00)
How do we regulate our nervous system? (46:00)
What does it mean to “reparent” yourself? (1:0200)
How do we become a self healer every day? (1:16:00)

In This Episode You Will Learn:
How emotion is tied to memory (12:00)
What “interdependence” means (20:00)
The three steps to create a boundary (29:00)
How to “depersonalize” (39:00)
Dr. Nicole’s definition of manifestation (57:00)
About the “Small, Daily Promise” (1:13:00)

If you enjoyed this episode, check out the video, show notes and more at http://www.lewishowes.com/844 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes

The School of Greatness

Become a Self-Healer and Break Free of Emotional Cycles with Dr. Nicole LePera

Shiva Prayer is a deep, heartfelt and tender call for the energy of Shiva, the Lord of Transformation. This sweet and soulful track will calm your mind, open your heart and light up your soul.

Shiva Prayer

Penguin Random House Audio is the market leader for adult and children's audiobook publishing. Follow us on Twitter @PRHAudio.

Dare to Lead by Brené Brown, read by Brené Brown

PRH Audio

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