So this is the first song I remember making that ever came to a feeling of being complete. Initially it wasn’t that way, I had plans for proper verses and better more perfect lyrics - a more perfect song. But every time I came back to it nothing much ‘new’ happened and over time I just sort of realised that this is what the song is now I guess. That’s why the structure is kind of weird. That’s also the way most of my songs have come about; I think I’m going to do way more, but don’t, and end up liking what I’m left with.
Anyway, this was probably 2016 or so when I first came up with this. The phrase “what can I say?” and the whole song, is just generally about a notion that I wanted to express - that it’s hard for me to say things. Like really hard. I wanted people to understand that I have a lot of things in my head I want to let out. But the struggle to do so makes me feel powerless and like there was nothing to say at all. It ends up being so impossible and I’m left with the feeling of, what can I say? What can I do? I can’t. I just can’t. And I’m aware of how it makes me feel and how it affects other people. Of what my silence leads people to think about me. But,, what can I say? :’) 
The song starts off by showing a simple picking pattern and building off of it. It also fades out like it fades in. The bit in the middle where it goes crazy and dissonant or whatever is intentional. It’s supposed to be building in intensity and chaos to feel like there’s no way out, until it collapses back into the peaceful outro. Just idk imagine it’s done well :’) with like, strings and shit.
To be perfectly honest the final line is slightly stolen from All For The Best by Miracle Legion - but I know the song from Thom Yorke’s version. Although in that song it’s “say you loved me” and I feel like like it’s trying to say something different to what I am. For me the ending is kind of like pleading with people,,, that they know? That they understand maybe? That I love them but struggle to show or say it. It’s part of a desperate fear I’ve always had that I’m apart from everything and nobody really likes me. I just want people to telepathically take initiative and overcome the fear for me and let me know that they do like me. Idk. When I really start trying to explain the feelings I have in this song and music in general it becomes clear how difficult it is to make sense :’)
This song is also about Lirio. And my huge crush on her in year 12/13. What can I say,, to tell you how I feel? Say you love me too… just like I’m in love with you. 
And…. The fact that she did love me back in the end. For a while. And now doesn’t. Even though I still do. The fact that it’s all partly because of the problems I’ve always had in communicating - the problems that I was expressing in music before we were even together and never did manage to overcome.
That’s all just,,, yeah. 
Heartbreaking.
But here’s the first song on the album.
It means a lot to me.

What Can I Say?

Deeply personal. Bit odd.
If you like something then that’d be nice to hear. If you have any constructive criticism then that’s fine too :’)

Artist from London
New singles 'I've Seen So Many Things These Days' and 'Smile' out now

Stream the album Brave New World

...so you think you can fly?

What Can I Say?

Peter Sherratt