Commentary

Story

Stephen Foster

AI Music

Women by name

© Copyright 1976 Peter Lloyd

Take me to Louisville, driver, I got the fare
I love a woman livin’ somewhere ‘round there  
I was gonna marry her, but I got up tight 
Watching her dance on a Saturday night
Watching her dance on a Saturday night  

Stole into Louisville A-W-O-L
With two pints of Echo, the whiskey from hell 
Stashed ‘em a Greyhound rental box down there 
When a woman came up with long, curly hair
A woman came up with long, curly hair  

She took a package from the box next to mine
I knew that our futures would soon intertwine 
She told me my birthday and the day I would die 
I saw a spark in the dark of her eye
I saw a spark in the dark of her eye  

Bought her a Pepsi in the station restaurant 
She said, “I’m able to provide what you want 
I’ve got some money, we could travel in style 
You wait right here. I’ll be back in a while
You wait right here. I’ll be back in a while  

I waited one hour and I waited for two
Got sorta nervous wonderin’ what she would do 
Walked ‘round the lobby one more time, then I thought 
If I don’t go, I’ll bound to get caught
If I don’t go, I’ll bound to get caught  

Took out a bottle and decided to go
‘Cross to the burlesque, continuous show 
Found me a seat and settled down for the night 
Guess who I saw steppin’ out in the light
Guess who I saw steppin’ out in the light  

Opened my Echo as she started to dance 
Finished it right when she took off her pants  
Dirty old men in there kept shoutin’ for more 
I stood up to fight, ended up on the floor
I stood up to fight, ended up on the floor  

Police in Louisville took me back to Fort Knox 
Who knows what Greyhound ever did with my box 
Don’t know her number and I don’t know her name 
Might never know, but drive just the same
Might never know, but drive just the same  

And take me to Louisville, driver, I got the fare 
Find me that woman with long, curly hair 
This time I’ll marry her and I won’t lose my mind 
Cuz this time I will leave my Echo behind
This time I will leave my Echo behind
This time I will leave my Echo behind

Leave My Echo Behind

©Copyright 1973, 2015 Peter Lloyd

You can take my shoes, you can drink my soup
I no longer lock my door at night
Here the moon comes up when the sun goes down
And the mountains roll ‘round the thunder clouds
While the river, she winds her way behind

It’s like beautiful, beautiful music
Mellowed in the Appalachian way
Folks come and go, but these mountains kow
That you take a bluegrass tune down to your grave

When Tom Gentry died, I cried and cried
Then one night I heard his voice below the ground
I said, “Oh, Tom, you make such a sweet, bright sound.
Can you tell me, my old partner, what have you found?”
And he sang these words I’m singing to you

It’s like beautiful, beautiful music
Mellowed in the Appalachian way
Folks come and go, but these mountains know
That you take a bluegrass tune down to your grave

When my stories are all told and my bones are cold
And all that’s left is an empty rocking chair
Won’t you wrap me up and carry me down
Cover me over with that sweet, black ground        
And pick a bluegrass tune above my head

It’s like beautiful, beautiful music
Mellowed in the Appalachian way
Folks come and go, but these mountains know
That you take a bluegrass tune down to your grave

Folks come and they go
But these mountains stay right here and they know
That you can take a bluegrass tune down to your grave
Yes, you take them bluegrass tunes down to your grave

Bluegrass Music

© Copyright 2021 Peter Lloyd

I was feelin bout as groomed as Genghis Kahn
When I came across a place called Saul’s Salon
I walked in and said, “I need a haircut, Saul”
He said, “Sit on down, neighbor, and I’ll cut em all!”

He tossed a sheet across me and said, “I’m Bob
“It can get a little hairy, but I love my job”
“I believe you, Bob, but as I recall
“The sign on your window says your name is Saul”

“Well, what is truth,” Bob philosophized
“Is there really any difference tween truth and lies?
“Can you prove that E equals M C squared?
“When the Rapture comes will you be prepared?”

“The thing about it is, Bob, facts are facts
“And what you believe determines how you act”
I said, “There’s only one reality”
That’s when Bob interrupted me

“Everybody’s got their own reality
“I got mine and it’s right for me
“Does it really matter if I’m Bob or Saul
“Long as I answer when you call?”

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it

I saw no use confronting Bob’s insanity
So I decided to ignore him and watch TV
Looked up on the wall and there on the screen
Was the spookiest creature I’ve ever seen

Her eyes were blazing, what she said, absurd
Though the sound was down, I could read every word
The more I read, the more I realized
What got into Bob was a shitload of lies

I said to Bob “I think I know what’s up with you?
“You been watching too damn much Fox News
“It’s no good for your brain, it’ll sicken your soul
“In the middle of your heart, leave a gaping hole

“Well,” Bob replied, “I got news for you
“Covid’s a hoax and global warming too
“The election was stolen, nine-eleven was staged
“The Clinton’s eat babies, but no babies were caged

“Obama’s from Kenya, and masks don’t work
“Sleepy Joe Biden is a socialist jerk
“The earth is flat and the moon is too
“I know cuz I watch — Fox News”

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it

Bob’s not a fool, he’s just misinformed 
Like in Orwell’s story, nineteen-eighty-four
Took a little longer but it’s coming true 
And the people behind it — Fox News

No respect for the truth, don’t even know what it means 
Nothing but a clusterfuck of lying machines
First they lie, then you catch em, then they start denyin
If their lips are moving, you know they’re lyin

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it

Even if you don’t believe the Earth is round
I think we can still find common ground 
Cuz there’s one thing we can never deny
If we hear it on Fox, it’s a goddamn lie

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin the truth

Fox News Blues

© Copyright 2020 Peter Lloyd

I’m so damned depressed. I’m white and I’m oppressed
Can’t say what’s on my mind. Last time I did, hell, I got fined
Can’t lead a prayer at school, can’t burn no fossil fuel
Can’t smoke in public places, can’t mock folks to their faces
What's the Constitution for? Who threw freedom out the door?
Can’t use the n-word anymore

 We used to be so great, when we were free to fight and hate
Now what’s the point of life, you can’t even smack your wife?
Just try and quote the Bible, you get sued for slander and libel
Soon they’ll come and take your gun, spoil all your fun
What's the Constitution for? Who threw freedom out the door?
Can’t use the n-word anymore

You can call me whitey, ofay, cracker, honkie, gringo, hick
Redneck, hillbilly, peckerwood... Just don’t call me racist
So why the hell can’t I use faggot, dago, coon, raghead, sissy, spick, pouf, heeb, limey, nancy, mackerel snapper, fairy, frog, wetback, fruit, wop, homo, mick, kike, beaner, dike?
Did I miss any?

If only I could be as brave as great grandpa, he owned slaves
But those days are long forgotten. Now he’d have to pick his own damn cotton
They had a colored maid, used to call a spade a spade
Used to call a queer a fruit, now it’s L-G-B-T-Q
What's the Constitution for? Who threw freedom out the door?
Can’t use the n-word anymore

Can’t use the n-word anymore
But I can sure as hell try
Who wants to hear me?
N- n- n- ni- ni- ni-
Fuck it!

White Man's Lament

© Copyright 2020 Peter Lloyd
Melody adapted from "Beautiful Dreamer" by Stephen Foster

No, bladder cancer’s not such a bad fate
Not ‘less you miss it or treat it too late
Urologists spot it, no matter how small
Then go in and scape it right off of the wall

To get to your tumor, they don’t have to cut 
They don’t turn you over and go up your butt
The way to your bladder’s not in through your nose
They go up your schlong with long, rubber hose

Poor little penis takes all the pains
Gives only pleasure and never complains
Poor little penis just longs to be
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee

First they prepare you and put you to sleep
Into a twilight you go, not too deep
Meanwhile your penis takes all of the flak
While you in your twilight, lie flat on your back

Poor little penis takes all the pains
Gives only pleasure and never complains
Poor little penis just longs to be
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee

No, bladder cancer’s not such a bad fate
Not ‘less you miss it or treat it too late
So go see your doctor, and one who’s well known
For treating each penis as if it’s his own

Poor little penis takes all the pains
Gives only pleasure and never complains
Poor little penis just longs to be
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee

Poor Little Penis

Homage to Stephen Foster and to my childhood home of North College Hill, Ohio,  a suburb of Cincinnati, whose name does not lend itself  very well to melodic meter.

Words and music © Copyright 1969, 2003, 2011, 2016 Peter Lloyd

Oh, how the days passed, so long, filled with fun
We would play along the streets and alleys, laughing as we’d run
Warm was the pavement ‘neath the sweet summer sun
In my younger days in Cincinnati, may they be retold
Could I keep the laughter in my heart from those younger days in Cincinnati
Sure I’d never grow old

Oft times I ponder, oh, how my heart does yearn
What imparts a child sustaining joy a man should want to learn
Some day in summer, I’m sure I must return
When I see those children’s smiling faces, will they know I long
For the blessing of the joy to spend just one younger day in Cincinnati
Full with carefree song

How I return, I’m sure I’ll never know
Do I slip the gnarly grip of time or dream my way back home?
Somehow my child’s eyes upraise their sleepy shades
And the granite load of life’s long labor gently falls away
As the peal of laughter draws me home to one younger day in Cincinnati 
Mark what I behold

Who knows this stranger who on our games now spies?
No hint of harm comes in his heart, yet tears well in his eyes
There in his winter, I feel my own foretold
So I swear the roaring heat of summer never will grow cold
For I’ll keep the laughter in my heart from this younger day in Cincinnati
Sure, I’ll never grow old
Oh, how the days passed, so long

Younger Days in Cincinnati

© Copyright 2023 Peter Lloyd, Image by LORRAINE DAY 

remember ex-prez donald j trump
took us all for a nation of chumps
stole top secret docs and done got caught
he tried hard to deny it 
the jury did not buy it
they showed him that he’s not above the law

he’s in the jailhouse now
he’s in the jailhouse now
it comes as no surprise 
he’s outa luck and alibis
he’s in the jailhouse now

back when trump was commander in chief 
he made his goons give us all kinda grief 
we’re lucky they were all so goddamn dumb
under trump's direction 
they failed at insurrection 
we shoulda hung them all up by their thumbs


they’re in the jailhouse now
they’re in the jailhouse now
it comes as no surprise 
they’re outa luck and alibis
they’re in the jailhouse now


ya drank the kool aid and followed a fool
he made ya look like pitiful tools
you turned around and came right back for more
whatever you were drinking
whatever you were thinking
ya got exactly what you bargained for


you’re in the jailhouse now
you’re in the jailhouse now
it comes as no surprise 
you’re outa luck and alibis
you’re in the jailhouse now

Jailhouse Dreams

© Copyright 2022 Peter Lloyd

You’re the best, Jen Psaki, your the best (You’re the best!)
You’re the best, Jen Psaki, when you meet the press
You look ‘em in the eye, and no, you never lie
You will pass the test, cuz you’re the best!

Man, you rock, Jen Psaki, yeah, you rock! (Yes, you rock!)
Yes, you rock, Jen Psaki, no more poppycock
Never snarky, go! No malarkey, no!
After so much schlock, it’s a treat to see you rock

{soc}
With the truth, you never have to cheat 
From the truth, you never must retreat
(We repeat!)
{eoc}

You’re the best, Jen Psaki, your the best (You’re the best!)
You’re the best, Jen Psaki, when you meet the press
Now we all declare, no one can compare
Diss you if they dare, cuz we all know you’re the best!

You’re the best, Jen Psaki
And you rock, Jen Psaki
You’re the best, Jen Psaki
You’re the best!

Jen Psaki March

© Copyright 2023 Peter Lloyd

Arleen was just about seventeen and so was Frank, plus three
When he saw Arleen at the record hop and asked, “Hey, wanna dance with me?”
Arleen was like a feather on her feet, sweet as honeycomb  
When the dee jay stopped, Frank bowed and said, "Arleen, let me walk you home"

Arleen said, no! Arleen said, no (she said)
You've gone about as far as you gon’ go
I’m fun but I ain’t easy, and I like you more or less (but)
You got a few more hoops to jump through, Frank, before I acquiesce

A few days later, Frank called Arleen and asked her for a date
She agreed and they proceeded. Things were goin great
Frank drove her home ‘round midnight and walked her to her door
Kissed Arleen on the cheek and asked, "How ‘bout a little bit more?"

Arleen said, no! Arleen said, no (she said)
You've gone about as far as you gon’ go
I’m fun but I ain’t easy, and I like you more or less (but)
You got a few more hoops to jump through, Frank, before I acquiesce

When Arleen and Frank started goin steady, she proudly wore his ring
They did a whole a lot a-huggin and a-kissin up on her front-porch swing
Things got hot and heavy, so close to satisfied
Made Frank whine and plead and beg, "Arleen, can't we go inside?"

Arleen said, no! Arleen said, no (she said)
You've gone about as far as you gon’ go
I’m fun but I ain’t easy, and I like you more or less (but)
You got a few more hoops to jump through, Frank, before I acquiesce

The very next time Frank saw Arleen, he got down on his knee 
Gently held her hand and asked, "Arleen, will you marry me?"
She paused and thought about it. Then she smiled and answered, yes
They’ve been so gosh-darn happy now, ever since Arleen acquiesced 

Oh, Frank’s so glad Arleen acquiesced

Ballad of Frank and Arleen

© Copyright 2024 Peter Lloyd
Produced and played by David Lloyd

Sister Mary Jean Therese
Going back, long time ago
Boys’ hair tamed with axle grease
Girls all sugar, spice and nice
Like Sister Mary Jean Terese

Long gray habit, starched black veil
Patient hands, buffed with chalk
Tidy desks in rows and files
From where we raised our hands to talk

Such a pretty face! You could take your place
Among movie stars
What a lovely voice! You were my first choice 
For the hit parade
Your beautiful eyes saw beyond the sky
Where lay the vow you made
To surrender your hands to the tender demands 
Of second grade 

Every word i’ve ever I scribed 
Since my first scrawled masterpiece 
I owe in part to the sacred heart
Of Sister Mary Jean Therese

Such a pretty face! You could take your place
Among movie stars
What a lovely voice! You were my first choice 
For the hit parade
Your beautiful eyes saw beyond the sky
Where lay the vow you made
To surrender your hands to the tender demands 
Of second grade 

You surrendered your hands to the tender demands 
Of second grade  

© Copyright 2024 Peter Lloyd

Sister Mary Jean Therese

Queria hablar español, and so
I wandered my way to Bolivia 
Now from my cell in the heart of La Paz
I pine for my lovely Olivia

Olivia appeared like a long-lost dream
From Heaven she said God had hastened her
“Sip my elixir of love,” she implored 
 My trust then I readily placed in her

We sang to the stars of the southern sky
And sipped sucumbé, tea and lemonade
Danced to the whims of her passion until
Polícia cut short our escapade

O-li-iv-ia, if God sent you down from the sky to me 
O-li-iv-ia, when I asked you your age, why’d you lie to me?    

My sentence may outlive my life, but now
I must not let misery harden me
Locked in La Paz for the rest of my life 
I pray presidente may pardon me

O-li-iv-ia, if God sent you down from the sky to me 
O-li-iv-ia, when I asked you your age, why’d you lie to me?    

My lovely Olivia. Of course, I forgive ya
Olivia, I give ya my love    
Olivia, te doy mi amor    

© Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
Music composed with Suno AI

Olivia

Another November I stand with the trees
Their black branches robbed by a mean autumn breeze
I lean on a tall oak, my cheek to her bark
And mourn my companion as the woodland grows dark

Oh, I miss my companion, always more, never less
As the years wrap around me, they embrace my distress
I return to you empty. Speak again what you teach
From the ages inside you round and as wide as my reach

Then the oak speaks for hours and her wisdom I heed
I hear in her silence all the solace I need
"Stay standing, she minds me, "let death do its worst
"Welcome each sunrise as if it's your first"

Yes, another November I stand with the trees
Their black branches robbed by a mean autumn breeze
I must leave you again now with tears on your bark
But I'll come back each autumn till my memory goes dark

© Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
Music with Suno AI

Companion

Justine, you make me feel so clean
Justine, you make me feel so clean
You took my love and run it through the washing machine

Justine, I hate to walk with you downtown
Justine, I hate to walk with you downtown
You talk so loud and you're always putting me down

Justine, you make me feel so clean
Justine, you make me feel so clean
You took my love and run it through the washing machine

Justine, you wear your clothes inside out
Justine, you wear your clothes inside out
Your hearts so full of anger and your heads so full of doubt

Justine, you make me feel so clean
Justine, you make me feel so clean
You took my love and run it through the washing machine

Justine, come and get your cigarets
Justine, come and get your cigarets
You left them on the table and I'm trying to forget

Justine, you make me feel so clean
Justine, you make me feel so clean
You took my love and run it through the washing machine

© Copyright 1976, 2000 , 2025Peter Lloyd
Music with Suno AI

Justine

Well, I never climbed a mountain, no, I never even tried
What’s the point of crawlin halfway to the sky? 
When everything I wanna see is somewhere in your eyes
And I never have to ever leave your side 

No, I’ll never solve a mystery or cure a rare disease
My face will never grace Time magazine 
And though I try to please you and keep you trouble free
I can never ever give you guarantees 

But every day I try to make you smile and never cry
Help you soothe your wounds and chase away your blues 
I’ll never get it all right and always come up shy
But I’ll never ever give you alibis 

Oh, there’s so much more I haven’t done and so much more to do
To be the man you hoped that I would be 
But there’ll always be one promise you can count on comin true
I will never, no not ever, not love you 

And every day I try to make you smile and never cry
Help you soothe your wounds and chase away your blues 
I’ll never get it all right and always come up shy
And I’ll never ever give you alibis 

Oh, there’s so much more I haven’t done and so much more to do
To be the man you hoped that I would be 
But there’ll always be one promise you can count on comin true
I will never, no not ever, not love you

No, I’ll never, no not ever, not love you 

Words © Copyright 2014 Peter Lloyd
Music with help from Suno AI

Never

let’s remember Alice Ball, long unrecognized 
found a cure for leprosy, so long ago   
Alice died at twenty-three      
white men called her work their own
I think we all know why
I think we all know why

let us give Charles Drew his due, long unrecognized
taught us how to share our blood, so long ago
volunteered to donate first
white men turned charles drew away
I think we all know why
I think we all know why

where have all the lepers gone?
Alice healed them all
blood banks save so many lives
Charles made it so
why were they not recognized?
jealous white men feared their fame

I think we all know why
I think we all know why

© Copyright 2025
Music with Suno AI

We All Know Why

To the tune of "Old Folks at Home"
 
Wayne Bailey stopped on by this mornin’
As was his way
Called to my window without warnin’
“Here comes the same old day”
 
On down the road we went a-walkin’
As was our way
Wayne doin’ almost all the talkin’
Here’s what old Wayne had to say:
 
"Around the world the time-old story
"Ev'ry day the same
"Some risk their lives for love and glory
"Some treat it like a game
 
"One walks the dog and dries the dishes
"One folds the clothes
"One cuts the bait, the other fishes
"One weeds, the other hoes
 
"Some trade in slaves and steal their labors
"Some sell their wares
"Some grab a gun and slay their neighbors
"Some offer thoughts and prayers
 
"Around the world the time-old story
"Ev'ry day the same
"Some risk their lives for love and glory
"Some treat it like a game"
 
On back around we came from walkin’
As was our way
Wayne doin’ almost all the talkin’
Like ev’ry other day
 
"Around the world the time-old story
"Ev'ry day the same
"Some risk their lives for love and glory
"Some treat it like a game"
 
© Copyright 2022 Peter Lloyd

What Old Wayne Said

No sun shines bright on Breonna Taylor’s home
There sorrow and darkness remain
In empty rooms where the fatal shots have flown
The echoes of death will always reign

Our heads must bow for how far we fall behind
True justice without and within
When bullets fly, it’s the darker skin they find
No matter how slight or small the sin

Weep no more, good people
Oh, spare your thoughts and pra yers
Rather sing one song for Breonna Taylor’s home
And the shameful stain that lingers there
How many times will we pause at end of day
And wonder how long we must roam
Until we lay down that fair and level way
We take to our bright and better home
Weep no more, good people
Oh, spare your thoughts and prayers
Rather sing one song for Breonna Taylor’s home
And the shameful stain that lingers there 

Let us sing one song for Breonna Taylor’s home
And the shameful stain that lingers there

(c) Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
music by suno AI

Breonna Taylor’s Home

Words, music, and performance © Copyright 2017 Peter Lloyd

This song is brought to you by Amerikoch
And now a word from our sponsor

Everything we own must go
So now’s the time for saving
Hurry in to satisfy
Your every need and craving

Back to our song

I’ve been told
The roads of Hell are lined with gold
The rats dress up in pinstripe suits
And tom cats prowl in combat boots

And now a word from our sponsor

Buy yourself a congressperson
Buy one for your cousin
Buy eleven, get one free
They’re cheaper by the dozen

Back to our song

Tell me why
When camels spy the needle’s eye
They turn away, begin to cry
And start to sing a sad goodbye

And now a final word from our sponsor

Buy a slice of Uncle Sam 
Yes, now’s the time to order
Operators standing by
Somewhere beyond the border

That’s our song. See you next time

Welcome to Amerikoch

© Copyright 2017 Peter Lloyd

If my president declares it, then it’s true
If my president declares it, then it’s true
Yes, I take him at his word. Even when he sounds absurd
If my president declares it, then it’s true

If my president believes it, so do I
If my president believes it, so do I
You can call my brain a dumpster. I don’t mind, cuz I’m a Trumpster
If my president believes it, so do I

If my president is for it, so am I
If my president is for it, so am I
We don’t care who disadvises. Cuz we welcome freak surprises
If my president is for it, so am I

If my president says do it, then I will
If my president says do it, then I will
We don’t care who might attack. We know Putin’s got our back 
If my president says do it, then I will

If my president says mock ‘em, then I will
If my president says mock ‘em, then will
All you retards, gimps, and fags, fuck your rainbow-colored flag
If my president says mock ‘em, then I will

If my president says grab it, then I will
If my president says grab it, then I will 
I’ll just walk right up and grab it. Even if she wears a habit
If my president says grab it, then I will 

He will always be my hero, though his IQ’s seven-zero
If my president is for it, so am I

Follow The Leader

Tuscaloosa, Alabama  
Billy Birdsong called it home 
But an omen soon would warn him 
"Cross the Urals you must roam" 
Saw Natasha Borashchenka  
In the movie "Goldeneye" 
Heard her sing to her intended 
"Cross the Urals you must fly" 

Billy Birdsong's heart surrendered  
In Natasha's spell he lay 
On an app called Duolingo 
Practiced Russian every day 
Saved his money, sold possessions  
Vowed he'd pay most any price 
Found a student language conference 
In the land of snow and ice

Six thousand miles 
Bet tomorrow on a song
How could a boy from Tuscaloosa 
Alabama, not go wrong?

In the town of Nazarovo 
On Siberia's dead floor
Students gathered, far behind them 
Nearly every foreign shore 
Billy Birdsong speaking Russian  
In a crowded co-ed dorm 
Met a hundred Borashchenkas 
Had to keep each other warm 

Three hundred teens 
Drinking vodka all night long
How could a boy from Tuscaloosa 
Alabama, not go wrong? 

Tuscaloosa, Alabama  
Billy Birdsong won't be back 
Now he's raising little Birdsongs 
In a Nazarovo shack 

Dark, Russian tea 
Piping from a samovar
How could a boy from Tuscaloosa 
Alabama, come so far? 

All the way across the Urals 
Living like a Russian Tsar?

© Copyright 2017 Peter Lloyd
Music by Suno.com AI

Billy Birdsong (Across the Urals)

© Copyright 2018 Peter Lloyd

Dick and Jane were my best friends
When I learned how to read
Played in perfect harmony
Thrived in thought and deed 
But as they grew it happened
No longer did they click
Jane became a better Jane
Dick remained a dick

Jane stands strong and lovely now
Wise beyond her years
Whenever someone needs a hand
It’s Jane who volunteers
Never judges anyone 
Forgives and then forgets
Nothing she holds dearer than
Life without regrets

Dick still loves loud farting sounds
And savors dirty jokes
Drives a two-ton S-U-V
Calls climate change a hoax
Judges women solely by 
The contour of their buns
Nothing he hold dearer than 
His Bible and his guns

See Dick run. Run, Dick, run.
See Jane run. Oh, what fun!

Jane commands respect at work
She lets her people steer
Dick rules with an iron fist
Drives his team with fear
If you had to work with one
I know who you’d pick
Jane became a better Jane
Dick remained a dick

See Dick run. Run, Dick, run.
See Jane run. Oh, what fun!

The moral of this story
Not too hard to find 
The more you try to run ahead
The more you fall behind
If you have a penis
No need to be a prick
Act a little more like Jane
Don’t be such a dick

Act a little more like Jane
Don’t be such a dick

Dick and Jane

Songwriter since 1966. Can't believe I still have to write protest songs. Prefer writing love songs and songs of praise for stand-up women and men, parodies, lyrical nonsense, blues and adaptations.