Humor

Love Songs

I’m Not From Around Here

Unlove Songs

Country

© Copyright 2021 Peter Lloyd

I was feelin bout as groomed as Genghis Kahn
When I came across a place called Saul’s Salon
I walked in and said, “I need a haircut, Saul”
He said, “Sit on down, neighbor, and I’ll cut em all!”

He tossed a sheet across me and said, “I’m Bob
“It can get a little hairy, but I love my job”
“I believe you, Bob, but as I recall
“The sign on your window says your name is Saul”

“Well, what is truth,” Bob philosophized
“Is there really any difference tween truth and lies?
“Can you prove that E equals M C squared?
“When the Rapture comes will you be prepared?”

“The thing about it is, Bob, facts are facts
“And what you believe determines how you act”
I said, “There’s only one reality”
That’s when Bob interrupted me

“Everybody’s got their own reality
“I got mine and it’s right for me
“Does it really matter if I’m Bob or Saul
“Long as I answer when you call?”

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it

I saw no use confronting Bob’s insanity
So I decided to ignore him and watch TV
Looked up on the wall and there on the screen
Was the spookiest creature I’ve ever seen

Her eyes were blazing, what she said, absurd
Though the sound was down, I could read every word
The more I read, the more I realized
What got into Bob was a shitload of lies

I said to Bob “I think I know what’s up with you?
“You been watching too damn much Fox News
“It’s no good for your brain, it’ll sicken your soul
“In the middle of your heart, leave a gaping hole

“Well,” Bob replied, “I got news for you
“Covid’s a hoax and global warming too
“The election was stolen, nine-eleven was staged
“The Clinton’s eat babies, but no babies were caged

“Obama’s from Kenya, and masks don’t work
“Sleepy Joe Biden is a socialist jerk
“The earth is flat and the moon is too
“I know cuz I watch — Fox News”

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it

Bob’s not a fool, he’s just misinformed 
Like in Orwell’s story, nineteen-eighty-four
Took a little longer but it’s coming true 
And the people behind it — Fox News

No respect for the truth, don’t even know what it means 
Nothing but a clusterfuck of lying machines
First they lie, then you catch em, then they start denyin
If their lips are moving, you know they’re lyin

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it

Even if you don’t believe the Earth is round
I think we can still find common ground 
Cuz there’s one thing we can never deny
If we hear it on Fox, it’s a goddamn lie

Lie lie lie lie, lie dee lie
Oh, so sad to see truth die
They twistin it, bendin it, fixin to be endin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin it
Come on, people, time to start defendin the truth

Fox News Blues

© Copyright 2020 Peter Lloyd
Melody adapted from "Beautiful Dreamer" by Stephen Foster

No, bladder cancer’s not such a bad fate
Not ‘less you miss it or treat it too late
Urologists spot it, no matter how small
Then go in and scape it right off of the wall

To get to your tumor, they don’t have to cut 
They don’t turn you over and go up your butt
The way to your bladder’s not in through your nose
They go up your schlong with long, rubber hose

Poor little penis takes all the pains
Gives only pleasure and never complains
Poor little penis just longs to be
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee

First they prepare you and put you to sleep
Into a twilight you go, not too deep
Meanwhile your penis takes all of the flak
While you in your twilight, lie flat on your back

Poor little penis takes all the pains
Gives only pleasure and never complains
Poor little penis just longs to be
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee

No, bladder cancer’s not such a bad fate
Not ‘less you miss it or treat it too late
So go see your doctor, and one who’s well known
For treating each penis as if it’s his own

Poor little penis takes all the pains
Gives only pleasure and never complains
Poor little penis just longs to be
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee
A stout-hearted poker and not a poke-ee

Poor Little Penis

© Copyright 1973, 2022 Victor Harrison and Peter Lloyd

Four little fishies in a red, hot bowl
Two got rhythm and two got soul
When along come a tomcat with bright, white teeth 
Long, sharp claws slippin’ outa they sheath
And he say, “Let me teach you fish how to dance!” Gulp!

Three little fishies in a red, hot bowl
Two got rhythm and one got soul
When up jump the tomcat in one fell swoop 
Takes another helping of that gold fish soup Gulp!
And all of a sudden the soul fishy cries

“Oh I-yi think it's cri-yime! We’re still in our pri-yime
Let’s rock this little pond, roll this little bowl 
Shake the lake while we’ve still got ti-yime”

Two little fishies in a red, hot bowl
One got rhythm and the other got soul
When whoop go the tomcat as quick as a wink 
Scoop some more sole food right outa the drink Gulp!
And all of a sudden the rhythm fish cries

“Oh I-yi think it's cri-yime! We’re still in our pri-yime
Let’s rock this little pond, roll this little bowl 
Shake the lake while we’ve still got ti-yime”

No more fishies in that red, hot bowl
Just one cat left with his tummy full
He’s sufflin’ about just as happy as can be
Singin’ “I got four fish dancin’ rock ‘n’ roll inside of me 

Be bop a shoo be do wha. I do like fish!”

I'm Not From Around Here

Ahdoolak Fish Shuffle

This song was introduced to me by Walter Craft. I believe the version I received was a traditional, unprotected work. After polishing it up a bit, I claim my version, words and music © Copyright 2006, 2015 Peter Lloyd.

I am the meek Banana Slug, a relative of the snail
I go about without a shell in which to tuck my tail
You’ll find me in the garden in the early morning light
Just pick me up and take me home and give someone a fright

Banana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana Slug!

They call me the Banana Slug because my hue is yellow 
My body’s the consistency of old and rubbery Jell-O
You can call me “slick” because I slide along my slime 
And since I have to drag my butt, I always take my time

Banana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana Slug!

My belly is all brown and striped with gooey little bands
So if you pick me up, you get my slime all over your hands 
Upon my head two little stalks, they give my eyes a ride 
And if you try to touch them, I just suck ‘em both inside
Banana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana Slug!

A lot of people envy me and wish they shared my fate
Cuz all I do the whole day through is eat and sleep and mate 
Although some folks consider me a rare and delicate treat
I really would prefer that you find something else to eat

Banana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana-nana Slug!

Banana Slug

Words © Copyright 2003, 2015 John Robbins and Peter Lloyd. Melody is traditional

When you fail to find Osama, bomb Iraq 
When the market's in a trauma, bomb Iraq 
When the “tersts" are gettin' frisky
North Korea's lookin' risky
When you fail to find Osama, bomb Iraq

When you think somebody's dissed you, bomb Iraq 
When you got no allies with you, bomb Iraq
Aw, forget the damn inspection
Look ahead to next election
When you think somebody's dissed you, bomb Iraq

Wanna make a big impression? Bomb Iraq 
It's pre-emptive, it's aggression, bomb Iraq 
They got weapons we can't see
And that's all the proof we need
Wanna make a big impression? Bomb Iraq

When you feel a bit dejected, bomb Iraq
What the heck, you weren't elected, bomb Iraq 
We all know Saddam's gone mad
Cuz he tried to kill your dad
When you feel a bit dejected, bomb Iraq

When your cronies' greed is growin', bomb Iraq 
And your ties to them are showin', bomb Iraq 
When your cabinet's so sleazy
That they're making folks uneasy
When your cronies' greed is growin', bomb Iraq

Even though we have no reason, bomb Iraq 
Disagree? It must be treason, bomb Iraq 
Fall in line and follow orders
And to hell with sovereign borders
Even though we have no reason, bomb Iraq 
We don't need no reason, bomb Iraq
We're America, for Chrissake, bomb Iraq

When you w[ant to be a hero, but your IQ's seven-zero 
Don't even try to reason, bomb Iraq

Bomb Iraq!

Words and music © Copyright 1996, 2015 Peter Lloyd

You wear the pants in your family 
And I'll wear the pants in mine
 We'll get together every once in awhile 
And have ourselves a time on the sly 
But we could never get along for more than a week at a time
So you wear the pants in your family and I'll wear the pants in mine

I need a clean, wholesome type of gal 
To give my life a sense of calm
But you've showed me you are never really satisfied 
Until you think you've got me in your palm 
You’ve just gotta be the boss and you swear you'll never toe the line
You wear the pants in your family and I'll wear the pants in mine

Last Sunday night we strolled through the park
And bathed in the gold moonlight 
We came to the fountain where the path makes a Y
I went left and you went right 
We had better part our ways and hope the wound is healed in time
You wear the pants in your family and I'll wear the pants in mine

You want me there when I'm over here
And when I'm over there you want me gone
 You bring me down whenever things are looking up
And never look me up when things are down 
How could we make this house a home, with pots 'n pans flying all the time?
You wear the pants in your family and I'll wear the pants in mine

I married you. Right? And you married me. Okay. 
Right here's the part where I get lost
I swore I heard you say that you would honor and obey
I guess you must’ve had your fingers crossed 
I gotta hand it to you, gal. You really handed me a line
So you wear the pants in your family and I'll wear the pants in mine

I'll wear the pants in... I'll wear the pants in...  I'll wear the pants in mine

Your Pants

Words and music © Copyright 1970, 2015 Peter Lloyd

This song has been around since 1970. I still wonder how such an inexperienced young man managed to write it? I do recall that it owes its central image to Rudolf Dirk's Mama Katzenjammer.
Pardon my French.

Well, she gets me up in the morning and she hits me upside the head 
Tears the covers off me and jerks me out of bed
Stirs my coffee with an old fingernail file
And she wonders why I don’t wake up with a smile
She says, How come you never wake up with a smile?

Hard-hearted, mule-headed, tight-fisted, bitter-lipped
Foot-stomping, door-slamming, 
Rolling pin woman, you’re bringing me down

I met her on the subway and I offered her my seat
She was about the prettiest woman I had ever hoped to meet 
She said, “Come on up to my room and we’ll have a cup of wine.”
It was then I laid my future on the line
From then on, it was no longer mine 

For she spun a spider web and she tied the knot tight
I was seduced and reduced before I had a chance to fight 
I didn’t run, I admit, but if I ever live twice
I’m gonna keep them pretty women out of my sight
If I see one, I’m gonna poke out my eyes

Hard-hearted, mule-headed, tight-fisted, bitter-lipped
Foot-stomping, door-slamming, 
Rolling pin woman, you’re bringing me down

Oh, I’d leave her if I could, but I can’t, so I won’t
I’ve tried so many times and it hurts so much, I don’t
She’s got me hung up on her like the clothes out on the line 
And then they tell me love is the might tie that binds
Sure, just like a noose in due time

Hard-hearted, mule-headed, tight-fisted, bitter-lipped
Foot-stomping, door-slamming, 
Rolling pin woman, you’re bringing me down

Now all you single men, you best take my advice
If you think you’re in love,  think twice
If your woman’s kind of plain, you might give her a chance 
But if she’s one of them beautiful women, you’re not gonna last 
Them gorgeous gals, they run you down much too fast
I’m warning you, she’ll turn into a

Hard-hearted, mule-headed, tight-fisted, bitter-lipped
Foot-stomping, door-slamming, 
Rolling pin woman, you’re bringing me down

See http://peterlloyd.com/music/cds/infah/index.shtml for all I'm Not From Around Here credits.

Rollin Pin Woman

Words and music © Copyright 2003, 2015 Peter Lloyd

Girls, girls, girls were made to love (3 times) 
Girls were made to love (twice)

I love girls, you know that
I love 'em skinny, I love 'em fat 
I love 'em tall and I love 'em short 
Lovin' girls' my favorite sport

Girls, girls, girls were made to love (3 times) 
Girls were made to love (twice)

I love my girl and she loves me 
When I'm tired she lets me be 
Says I'm lazy but not too old 
And I'm the one she loves to hold

Girls, girls, girls were made to love (3 times) 
Girls were made to love (twice)

When God made girls, She made 'em right 
She made 'em tender, She made 'em tight 
She made 'em supple, She made 'em strong 
Lovin' girls you can't go wrong

Girls, girls, girls were made to love (3 times) 
Girls were made to love (twice)

Saddest thing in all the world 
A lovin' man without a girl 
Find a girl, don't take it slow 
Hold her hand, never let her go

Girls, girls, girls were made to love (3 times) 
Girls were made to love (3 times)

Girls Girls Girls

Words and music © Copyright 1973, 2001, 2015 Peter Lloyd

Love is stupid, but I fell in love anyway
You can kick me in the head, throw me out the window 
I’m a fool. I came to you for love

Love is dumb, like swinging your hammer and hitting your thumb 
You can take me to the judge, let him hit me with the book
I’m a fool. I came to you for love

Love is like walking out in the rain and getting snowed on 
It’s like laying down in front of a train and getting rolled over 
Love is like putting your hand in the fire
You always get burned. How come you never learn?

I was singing along with the Gillette commercial
When my daddy lifted me up on his knee one night 
Between rounds of the Rocky Marciano-Sugar Ray Robinson championship fight
                    
He said, “Son, some day you’re gonna be a man, just like Rocky and Sugar Ray.
And I want you to be ready when you walk out that door to put up your dukes and make your own way.
                    
"I don't care if you go in for boxing, football, baseball, or even hockey.
One of these days you're gonna be in the ring just like Sugar Ray and Rocky.
                    
"Because no matter how you look at it—life is a fight.
Just like on the TV, except it won’t exactly be black and white. 
You see, even when you know you're right, and no matter how good and hard you fight,
Somebody's gonna call you bum, lightweight, even powder puff..." 
That’s when my mom butt in, “Okay, Ed. That’s enough.”
                
But my dad just went on and on and on and on 
I tuned back in when he was saying something about a punch in the nose
Keeping your guard up, look for an opening. Fake, bob and weave, Hit ‘em with a combination
 
And then, I remember him saying, "I just want you to work hard at whatever you do,
No matter what it is you decide to do.
You can be a goalie or the heavyweight champion of the world, you know I’ll be proud of you.
                    
"Just don’t get discouraged when you make mistakes
Because we all get knocked down now and then
The only time you have to worry is if you make a mistake
And then go back out and make the same mistake again and again..."

Love, take my advice. It’s like coming up once after going down twice 
You can take my fool head and smash it in the vice
I’m a fool. I came to you for love 

And all I got what a kick in the head, a knife in the back
and a broken heart love is dumb

Love Is Stupid

Words and music © Copyright 2003, 2015 Peter Lloyd

There was a whole lot of suspense in the way she walked 
She didn’t make no sense, but I let her talk and talk 
I musta had a hole in my head

She made this silly little giggle, kinda like Betty Boop 
Got me runnin round her wiggle like a hula hoop 
I musta had a hole in my head

I musta had a whole in my head
Musta been three feet wide
How else could that woman work her way inside 
I musta had a hole in my head
She sure made a mess of my mind 

Some women’ll mess your mind no matter who you are 
You can be Bill Gates or some big high-tech tsar
You can be Brad Pitt gettin’ tossed out of a bar
You can be Tiger Woods coming in way under par 
You can be Clint Eastwood chompin’ a stub cigar
You can be James Christie hawkin’ a hot Renoir
You can be Snoop Dog ridin’ a long, white car
You can be Elvis Presley strummin’ a big, black guitar 
You can be Stephen Hawing gazin’ up at a star
You can be Johnny Depp sportin’ a sword and a scar, but 
You’ll still end up with a hole in your head

I musta had a whole in my head
Musta been three feet wide
How else could that woman work her way inside 
I musta had a hole in my head
She sure made a mess of my mind 

No other way  to explain this pain in my brain 
I musta had a hole in my head

See http://peterlloyd.com/music/cds/infah/index.shtml for all I'm Not From Around Here credits

Hole In My Head

Mike Kenney provided the idea for this song. Jason Liles composed the music and sang the part of Pete. David Lloyd played guitars, bass and built percussion. Caitlin Ayers sang the part of the Wife. Peter Lloyd wrote lyrics, sang the part of the Bartender and played harmonica.

Cheatin on Us

Bartender speaks:
A bartender sees a lot of shit
But nothing like last night
Mike stormed in, face all red
That boy was looking to fight

Pete sat alone nursing his beer
His face was sad and long
Mike picked him up, threw him on the floor
Then Pete started singing this song:

Pete sings:
I know you love your lovely wife
But I'm in love with her too
And when I hit you with the truth
It’s gonna hurt me more than you

When she's with me she's cheatin' on you
But please don't make a fuss
Cuz when she's with you, she's cheatin' on me
Your wife's been cheatin' on us

I saw her just the other day
Stepping on the crosstown bus
That can only mean one thing, Mike
Your wife's been cheatin on us

Each of us gets time enough
Why should we complain?
Let's have ourselves another round
And drink to love in vain

Harmonica break

Bartender speaks:
Well then she walked in, wouldn't you know
On the arm of yet another man
All three men looked hard at her
That’s when the fun began

Wife sings:
Oh, you little boys, you silly boys 
Please try to act like men
I told y’all, when it comes to love
I choose who and when

So love me or leave me, make up your mind 
But it’s gonna go my way
You know I love all three of you 
And I hope y’all choose to stay 

© Copyright 2024 Peter Lloyd and Jason Liles

Cheatin On Us

Words and music © Copyright by Peter Lloyd 1999

Early every morning the prisoner opens his eyes 
Turns his pillow over and tells himself he never cries 
But words fall from the radio, a memory fits like a glove
He thinks of you and wonders, How long is your love?

Days still dawn without you to carry his dreams on your voice
The walls around him echo the curses of derelict choice
Today he’s building barricades his predators can’t rise above
To bide his time and wonder, How long is your love?

He knows your love is strong enough,  abusing it—his crime
He hopes your love is long enough to stand the strains of time

Night gives little shelter should hungry eyes meet in the dark 
When they trade their secrets, they tremble without a remark 
Tonight he carves a makeshift knife just in case push comes to shove
He hides his pride and wonders, How long is your love?

He knows your love is strong enough,  abusing it—his crime
He hopes your love is long enough to stand the strains of time

Early every morning the prisoner opens his eyes 
Turns his pillow over and tells himself love never dies 
But words fall from the radio, a memory fits like a glove
He thinks of you and wonders, How long is your love?

Yes, he thinks of you and wonders, How long is your love?

How Long Is Your Love

Performed and produced by Caitlin and Jason Ayers
Words and music © Copyright 1969, 2015 Peter Lloyd

Sometimes I'm up. Sometimes I'm down
In this world there could not be a smile if it were not for the frown
Every 24 hours, if there's a night there's a daytime, too
No matter what shape my face may take
I'm always in love with you

Sometimes I'm caught so deep in thought
You may think that there's no room for you around my troubled mind
A love is hard to find, but it's worth it when you know it's true
No matter what shape my face may take
I'm always in love with you

Your love gave me a purpose
You love showed me the way
Your love gave my heart a song to sing
I'm gonna sing it every day

Just because I'm low sometimes, don't let me go
If you're looking for the perfect love, you'll be looking till your dying day
Just remember, Darling, when I'm feeling blue
No matter what shape my face may take
I'm always in love with you

Your love gave me a purpose
You love showed me the way
Your love gave my heart a song to sing
I'm gonna sing it every day

Sometimes I'm up. Sometimes I'm down
In this world there could not be a smile if it were not for the frown
Every 24 hours, if there's a night there's a daytime, too
No matter what shape my face may take
I'm always in love with you
In love with you
In love with you

Sometimes (Sherry's Song)

Words and music by Ben Lawson. Ben sent his version of this song around to friends and invited them to re-do it. So I did. The image features Dash of the Ayers family.

I don't know why I think like a dog
But I'll run all day, yeah, like a dog
If runnings what I gotta do
I'll do it for you

I can't explain why I'm hungry all the time
But I go without food, yeah, I'll be fine
If starvings what I gotta do
I'll starve for you

I don't understand why you make me wait outside
When all I wanna do is be by your side
If waitings what I gotta do
I'll do it for you

If waitings what I gotta do
I'll wait for you
If that's what it's coming to
That's what I'll do

Laika Dawg

Love doesn't always go bad, but when it does, it goes something like this number composed with Buck "Tiger by the Tail" Owens in mind.

© Copyright 1992, 2015 Peter Lloyd

She used to  call me every Friday morning
And we'd go dancing every Friday night
But now she lays around, she never takes me out to paint the town 
Her feet don't get it any more

She used to  tickle me between the covers
She'd keep me up all hours of the night
But now she's cold as ice, she's got some batteried device 
Her hips don't get it any more

I know this hasn't been exactly
What a marriage oughta be
But if you only get out what you put into
I got plenty coming to me

She made me  give up hunting and hard liquor
She taught me how to count cholesterol
But now she smokes in bed and looks extremely overfed 
Her heart don't get it any more

I know this hasn't been exactly
What a marriage oughta be
But if you only get out what you put into
I got plenty coming to me 

She used to  always ask me my opinion
She'd call me twice a day for my advice
But now she  leaves me notes, she even tries to tell me how to vote

Her head don't get it
Her heart don't get it
Her hips sure don't get it
Her feet don't get it
She still might bear it but she sure don't grin it
Cuz she don't get it anymore

She Used To

Words and music by Peter Lloyd © Copyright 2006, 2015 Peter Lloyd

Look outside my door, sun is shinin' bright 
What's the sun good for? Might as well be night
Ain't it plain to see I miss Marie

Left without a trace, why I'll never know 
Still I see her face everywhere I go 
Where can she be I miss Marie

I sit here reminiscin’ 'bout the huggin' and the kissin' 
She swore would never end
Nobody wants to listen but a part of me is missin' 
And I need some time to mend

Now it's time to go to the Town Hall Dance Me 
I'm layin' low, I don't stand a chance 
Everyone will see I miss Marie

I sit here reminiscin 'bout the huggin' and the kissin' 
She swore would never end
Nobody wants to listen but a part of me is missin' 
So why should I pretend?

Look inside my door. What an awful sight 
Lying on the floor, I'll be here all night
Ain’t it plain to see, I miss Marie

Well, it's plain to me I miss Marie

I Miss Marie

I see the way you look at her            
It hurts me
Can’t help the way it makes me feel            
It hurts me                                            
I remember you when you were near                                      
Whisp’ring sweet words in my ear
When you’re not here where you belong
It hurts me
   
I see the way you walk with her 
It hurts me                                                                  
I hear the way the way you talk with her         
It hurts me                   
You hold hands that don’t belong to me
She’s right where I long to be     
When you’re not here where you belong         
It hurts me
                                          
I swear I try to stay away                    
But I saw you just the other day                
It made me want to break right down and cry  
I want to smile and wish you well 
But I’m still underneath your spell
When you’re not here where you belong
It hurts me

I see the way you look at her            
It hurts me
Can’t help the way it makes me feel            
It hurts me                                            
I remember you when you were near                                      
Whisp’ring sweet words in my ear
When you’re not here where you belong
It hurts me
                                                                     
When you’re not here where you belong  
You hurt me

© Copyright 2021, 2025Peter Lloyd
Music with help from Suno AI

It Hurts Me

The Single Song

Marriage has its smiles and frowns, crooks and clowns, chains and crowns
Marriage has its ups and downs, but everyone agrees:

I wanna be single, I just wanna go where I wanna go
I'm itchin' to mingle, I'd much rather know who I wanna know
I'll hang out my shingle, forget all the rules and go with the flow
I'm eager to see if it's better to be single and free

I'm tired of sharing, it's time to try on a new pair of shoes 
I've done enough caring, I just wanna do who I wanna do
It's time to be daring, I'm ready to run with a new kinda crew
I'm eager to see if it's better to be single and free

I wanna be carefree, let everyone know I'm ready to play
Don't wanna be married, wake up in a different bed every day
I dare you to dare me, I'll knock every obstacle out of my way
I'm eager to see if it's better to be single and free

I wanna be single, see what kind of trouble I can invite
I just wanna mingle, lie down in a different bed every night
I'll hang out my shingle, let everyone know I that I'm travelin' light
I'm eager to see if it's better to be single and free

© Copyright 2006, 2035 Peter Lloyd
Music by suno.com AI

I Wanna Be Single

You've made a conscious effort to make a damn fool out of me
I know it's your endeavor to turn me into your enemy
Oh, but, I'm just a hard-headed lover boy
I'll bang my head against your wall until it falls

I know it's your intention to laugh me off the face of the earth
You better ease the tension or I'll see you get your money's worth
No, I'm just a hard-headed lover boy
I'll bang my head against your wall until it falls

You’ll never make me lose my appetite
I’ve made my mind up on you
I’ll try and try until I get it right
That’s what a lover boy’s supposed to do

You've got your concentration set on bringing me to my knees
Call the United Nations cuz I don't buckle under easily
Yeah, cuz I'm just a hard-headed lover boy
I'll bang my head against your wall until it falls

They may find me on the street some day
Or lying face-down on your lawn
But you won't see me take defeat that way
I'll take you down, baby, long before I'm gone

You've made a conscious effort to make a damn fool out of me
I know it's your endeavor to turn me into your enemy
Oh, but, I'm just a hard-headed lover boy
I'll bang my head against your
I'll bang my head against your
I'll bang my head against your wall until it falls
I’ll bang my head until you fall

© Copyright 1984, 2000, 2025  Peter Lloyd
Music by suno.com AI

Hard-headed Lover Boy

i broke my own heart

i fell for her like a leaf from a tree
not a thing i could do about it
she gave me proof of her love— at least
i had no reason to doubt it
but i played around from the very start
only meant to break a few rules
instead, i broke my own heart 

i know i did wrong, but you might as well 
tell a fox to stop chasing rabbits 
i live for the chase, get bored with the catch
it’s not easy to break old, bad habits 
yeah, i played around from the very start
only meant to break a few rules
instead, i broke my own heart 

someday you may find someone 
with everything you require
don’t even think about playing around 
you’re better off playing with fire

i played around from the very start
only meant to break a few rules
instead, i broke my own heart 
like fool, i broke my own heart
serves me right, i broke my own heart

Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
music by suno AI

I Broke My Own Heart

Words and music © Copyright 1971, 2016 Peter Lloyd

You left your footprints on the doorstep of my heart when you walked out
You caught my finger when you slammed the door
I guess you didn’t hear me when I opened it up to shout
“I guess this means you don’t love me anymore?”
 
You took along all my favorite phonograph records and you don’t own a stereo
I still don’t understand how you’re gonna hear them play
I guess it doesn’t matter. They were all scratched and kind of old
Keep the damn things. I never played them anyway

My darling, how can I forget you with your footprints on my heart
And all my records stole from me besides?
There’s so much I want to say to you, but I don’t know where to start
So I’ll stop

Footprints

Merry Christmas, boys and girls
Come on, sit on Santa’s lap
I’ll tell you story about a toy
And a very bad boy

Well, Mom bought Larry a Starter-Up Steve
The truck that puts kids in the driver’s seat
They punch in a program, and the truck moves slow
At least that’s how the commercial goes

No, Mom didn’t know it, but she’d soon find out
What the darker side of fun was all about
You see, Larry was cuter than a newborn cub 
But he’d sold his soul to Beelzebub

Starter-Up Steve 
Starter-Up Steve    

Mama watched Larry “oo” and “ah” 
Punching Steve’s buttons with his cute li’l paw 
But she got bored and snuck up to the sack 
Now Steve was headed for the end of his track 

The boy hopped Steve like a kangaroo 
Up, back, left, right, and wheelies, too
As Larry kept driving, anyone could tell 
He was setting up Steve for one living hell

Starter-Up Steve 
Starter-Up Steve    

Steve tried to avoid his rendezvous
But he could only do what he was programmed to 
His tires screeched and his motor raced
And he drove right into the fireplace

His plastic chassis went up in flame
Bounced out of the fire on its twisted frame
Then he spun around trailing sparks and soot 
Took a hit on his hood from the kid’s left foot

Starter-Up Steve
Starter-Up Steve    

That mean little devil, he squealed with glee
Chasin’ flamin’ Steve ‘round the Christmas tree 
The tree caught fire with a hefty roar
And the boy followed Steve out the parlor door 

Then the whole damn house went up in smoke 
‘Course Larry took it all as one big joke
No more diapers, no more pins
No more Mommy’s goo-goo grins

Starter-Up Steve 
Starter-Up Steve    

Now Steve, started movin’ at a blindin’ speed
Burning ‘cross the lawn toward the hickory tree
He hit that trunk at a terrible pace
Made a big impression on his plastic face

Larry ran up to his loyal chum
All hot and gooey like chewing gum
Steve’s one good eye rolled back in his head
And the boy cried, “Damn! Stupid Steve is dead.”

Starter-Up Steve 
Starter-Up Steve    

Now mom and dad, it’s time once more
To run on down to your big, box store
Just keep in mind when you’re buyin toys
What happens in the hands of innocent boys

Take your list and check it twice
But before you buy take my advice
No matter what you get for your sweet li’l son
He’s bound to find the darker side of fun

Starter-Up Steve 
Starter-Up Steve

© Copyright 2016 Peter Lloyd

The Darker Side of Fun

Words, music, and performance © Copyright 2017 Peter Lloyd

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Welcome to Amerikoch

Songwriter since 1966. Can't believe I still have to write protest songs. Prefer writing love songs and songs of praise for stand-up women and men, parodies, lyrical nonsense, blues and adaptations.