maybe self express yourself once

lyrics:

 despise my self expressions
i express it thru music
my therapeutic session becomes your lessons
and the less music i make
i lost my essence
then bed rotting ain't working and living got me infectious
and for group assignments
i will only be choosing me
understanding my own system and habits, daily routine
your distractions are conversations i made just to be seen
paranormal are better ghost than these people than don't give in
i despise your self expressions 
how you self expressed emotions that yourself have never felt
how you talk about those people that yourself have never dealt
how you verbalised a word that you have never even spelt
im just saying that
how you have the confidence to speak about your feelings
if you never have those in you before
is comparisons a reference to fill you a form
is the word of mouth the consolation need you restore
i despise self expressions

i despise my emotions 
i despise everything about me
how im slow and pretty stupid in these
situations where i needed to be
thinking and see
i despise how i smile very awkwardly 
ain't no body dysmorphia, i despise that im fat
when i could hit the gym and change into the man that i am
i despise that im a bitch and couldn't talk to myself
i despise that i ain't social, and stay shut with my shelves
with these anime bitches of figurines
i aint figure it out
friends that i been with since 2017
been ahead of me
and young lil poter just thugging it out
maybe one day he'll randomly sprout
but that aint happening
visions of my dreams will stay envisioned 
they say they'll hear me out but i know they never listen
im repressing all these feelings
all i feel is being me
i despise that im just being myself
self expressing myself

i despise self expressions

PETERVERT