damn daddy 💔 i'd die for a time machine at 88mph so bad rn omfg t whatever happened inside the love we had more certainty in the thick af strength of it was naturally NEVER  EVEN SEEN it would be here without a significant reason for such a brutal drastically cold change in every possible way like this is all TEARING me up inside and my heart strings in shreds >.< sooo lost idek how to make sense of the loss of us baby and sequoia our angel... how tf could life be in such a painful wreck of our worst nightmares 😫😒 oh baby *softly sighs* miss you unbearably alone and the memories eternally in my heart precious forever as ever before ✨️ (sadness vibes carry me out of our relationship because you don't have me in your best interest like you use to) ~~~ ventilation ☆ミ

this goes crazy why am I just now listening to this

tear gas (sunlight + xmichaelwarren)

(: <3 lyrics below

I know you see me
You check up on me now and then we're stuck in repeat
One week we're fine the next we're not you love to break me
I don't feel good right now ooo
Right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Oh right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Oh right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now

I can't take back what I did to you
Girl its the same for you
Don't lie yeah we both know it's true
Yeah we both know it's true
Ooo
It's you I needed
Ooo
My hearts always bleeding
Right now right now now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now now
Right right right right now now now now
Ugh
Right now right now now
Now now now now
I don't feel good now now
I I I don't feel good now

I don't feel good now
But baby ill put it behind me
She just pulled up to the party and i'm in the corner where no one can find me
I'd rather would keep to myself
I'm not the type to be following blindly
I don't need anyones help
Fuck it I lied man i'm practically dying
And I know she never cared
She just wants a couple dollars
I don't know why the fuck I bother
And to be honest girl i'm scared
If I keep going down this path then ill end up just like my father
And I know she never cared
She just wants a couple dollars
I don't know why the fuck I bother
And to be honest girl i'm scared
If I keep going down this path then ill end up just like my father

I can't take back what I did to you
Girl its the same for you
Don't lie yeah we both know it's true
Yeah we both know it's true
Ooo
It's you I needed
Ooo
My hearts always bleeding
Right now right now now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now now
Right right right right now now now now
Ugh
Right now right now now
Now now now now
I don't feel good now now
I I I don't feel good now

I don't feel good now I hate it by myself
And my mom is telling me that I should get some help
Couple pills to start I learned to play the part
And lately I been thinking I might break apart
And I know he never cared
He was all that I needed and i'm just taking the bleeding and I
Wanted to tell you it ain't fair
I hope it hurts when you see me
I won't be there when you need me and I

I can't take back what I did to you
Girl its the same for you
Don't lie yeah we both know it's true
Yeah we both know it's true
Ooo
It's you I needed
Ooo
My hearts always bleeding
Right now right now now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now now
Right right right right now now now now
Ugh
Right now right now now
Now now now now
I don't feel good now now
I I I don't feel good now

spotify

i dont feel good

i dont feel good (feat. kennedyxoxo & skele) [p. irby]

postcard222 (noahmadethiss)

(music video)
https://youtu.be/oAQF2xB8nGg

ring arnd the rosey ft. kennedyxoxo *king theta*

produced by sk8miles

completely non profit

lyrics

so who showed up to ur funeral?
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)
only saw your family pulling up with all their caseroles 
(I been, I been, waiting on a hearse)
for every moment u spent living I sat here alone
( I don't, know why, u make me think of funerals)
but at the gruesome end I ask u where'd ur friends go
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)

we live our lives online and wonder why we're so alone
i go outside to get reminded not to leave my home
you should lighten up and maybe then u'll find a bit of hope
you should be shutting up man I don't even care a bit at all

computer screens and actors
lights off n my back hurts
car wheels roll backwards
lives lost like captives
dying youngs in fashion
I live that gutter life no mansions
no handouts no pensions 
wear my body out for my paycheck
don't say nothing, don't spray it
I been in my head of late just brain me
take a .45 or a mil' o' 9 and send the lead out of my cranium
brain splatter on pavement
all of the grey matter just wasted
if u want something just take it
can't be assed complaining bout it

thoughts tracked on a post it
can't connect at all with humans (humans)
something broke in my brain machine
I can't talk to u without booze in me
(did u find ur halo?)
so friends come n they always leave
but that's fine tho it's alright with me
I've found the way that I'm meant to be
all alone I can finally breathe 
(did u find ur halo?)
let me breathe
bury me in mulch n rotten leaves
(did u find ur halo?)
July will mark the two years that I've grieved
why waste ur time I beg you don't believe in me
(did u find ur halo?)

so will u show up to my funeral?
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)
only saw my family pulling up with bottled alcohol
(I been, I been, waiting on a hearse)
keep the numbers low I had no friends that they could get involved
(I don't, know why, u make me think of funerals)
shout out to my ones across the world I'll never see at all
(I been, I been, banking on a funeral)

banking on a funeral (sk8miles)

produced by sleepwater
piano by melon musik

wait for me in my next life
i swear that ill be fine
got three new chains on my neck fye
tell me im divine
got a deer trapped in the headlights
in a road full of pine
its coming near, following through me
i dont really mind if i die
through the window my neck and spine
i watched my body die
on the ground theres blood on the floor
never leave my side
tendants broken to the core
pendants my neck when im sore
penance she let her mourn
permanance purgatory
in doors

It's october, branches casting 
dont let go were everlasting
antidote w car fumes rising
way too close my hairs nearly frying
check his pulse a boy here is dying  
dont convulse a tear, see him trying
release from every joy now im crying
convinced u not to steer, into the dying

chemicals in my heart i feel so gloomy
with you youll tear me apart
im scared youd lose me

me
her

mourn

produced by: jolst + homesick 
vocals, mixing & mastering by me 

lyrics: 


felt the whole room change when she stepped in
she got fire in her blood she electric
he would kill for her if she would let him 
but she holds his hand tight to prevent it “whered u stay? whered u go? whered u check in?”
it’s a little bit too much
but he expects it 
and it’s more than his face shes obsessed with
she wants his blood
oh i bet tastes expensive 

and in the moonlight of his death
she’ll lay her hands upon her chest and rest
for a while
until this city summons her again,
look down at this place and she can’t help
but crack a smile 
she collects and carries souls from these men
those pretty words she says fu-fu- fuck with my head 
a soft spoken queen til he lays in her bed 
in the morning 
and when it’s time my love will you please heed me with a warning 

and these doors are locked shut, so just bleed
she can’t see anything 
through her mask full of greed
just breathe
bury me 
in the leaves 
by the trees
curse the lips that got me here 
and she ice, so i freeze 
shes a spirit; baby turn my skin white promise i wont leave 
everybody want her but don’t want those punctures from her teeth
i thought vampires were stories
eyes turned black, i couldn’t believe 
on this night this wooden floor is the only thing under me 

my eyes open finally to 6 feet 
of mud
throat is dry, and my hands feel numb 
last thing i remember was the slow slow cut 
i can smell the copper on my clothes
i’m covered in blood
so i push, i pray, i cry, i hope that i get out this rut
she laughs, and i can hear her, though it’s muffled and i’m stuck 
she told me “boy you shoulda turned around when i asked u what’s up”
and then she smile, put a dress on, to the next party she struts 

felt the whole room change when she stepped in
she got fire in her blood she electric
he would kill for her if she would let him 
but she holds his hand tight to prevent it “whered u stay? whered u go? whered u check in?”
it’s a little bit too much
but he expects it 
and it’s more than his face shes obsessed with
she wants his blood
oh i bet tastes expensive

souleater (jolst + homesick)

happy bday zion! prod siem spark

sorry for the mid mix this song crashed my computer

escape route!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Bd5PWLwBA

[prod. jpjp & deadfish]

i'm geist:
a broken design
step aside and rewind
but time doesn't seem to heal
the body's inside
and the blood is on your hands
so don't tell me that this isn't real

it's not the same, no
tell me where did my mind go?
cause i seem to have lost control
why won't the pain go?
i swear i've waited the time love
but i can't seem to take anymore

so say can i save myself now?
(envy) i think it's far too late you'll drown
but i need them to hear me out
(envy) don't make a sound just shut your mouth

notenvy:
my frame is fractured like kaleidoscope
the only sense of matters left my brain
i swear i'm losing hope
i’m doing fine, oh you don't want to know
the shit that i've been going through
i'm gripping on, i've lost control
another day intoxicated
do you ever think of me
my structure’s slowly breaking
another breath is wasted
screaming from my chest
i fucking wish someone would save me

kais:
i hate it when you talk to me, but talk to me some more
hands to my ears and my face to the floor
love it when they lie to me, so lie to me some more
you fucked me up and put me through the ground
scream for help, but it never makes a sound
you took it wrong, I didnt mean it that way
silent with the pressure, but I let it stay
imma let it till it breaks me
down, I know you want me here but I never come around
im sorry and I owe you that. that’s what this shits about
I walk slow with my teeth glued to my mouth
I don’t talk cus the rooms always too loud
loud
loud

deadfish:
and i'm waking up
heart's fucking numb
it's only 7am
but I can't seem to lay down

anxious bout the day
what's gonna happen today
I just can't get a break
everything's still the same

mind is racing if today you're gon reply to me
nothing points to that but I'll wait just in case

if u had a change of mind
blood is pouring out my eyes
phone is charged all the time
cause I'm waiting for

for you to reply
please stop wasting my time
it just wasn't enough
and I can't make up my mind

you said that nothing has changed
but I don't feel the same
but I am keen to believe cause I'm
just hopeless

funeral:
i get so deep in this shit and i'll never get out
now i'm stuck and i'm waiting
i never think i just act and i ask if i'll make it
or maybe i'm wasting
my time right here, right now
blood leak, blood flow, lights low, lights out

it's way too obvious to me
the way the bodies dust, i bleed
i need one second alone now
one shot, now i'm dead, body goes down

sewerperson:
rust gives way to the chains that hold me
for yesterday could not control me
toxins permeate
the armoured skin that covers me
u poor man ur final day
is ended here from under me
woah bring out the big guns
im in the mood to erase something
huh just try to say something
u getting face fucked
blunt getting laced up
put u in swamp water face up
no matter the chaos faced
i wouldn’t give up
for time will tell
of better days
from here I smell
the autumn rainfall
it helps me stay strong

SPOTIFY

time will tell w/ i'm geist, notenvy, kais, deadfish, funeral, sewerperson

prod: never forever 
master: https://soundcloud.com/vito2300

put aside my emotion
i wasn't important 
he touched someone else
that night my body was forfeit
i like it when he record it 
watch it back and feel gorgeous 
i think i need help 
but i'm so good at ignoring,
ignoring it 

ima pour this bottle all out
till i feel my life breaking down 
and i hate myself even now 
don't know what that's all about
and i hate my songs 
won't show my face 
took a couple steps back 
went m.i.a
insane 
didn't learn my lesson 
nothing ever mattered when i try my best and
most days i just feel like a reject 
friends fake n then ask for my preset
hands up, 
asked god for a reason 
blood soaked and i beg for the meaning
most days wake up and i'm screaming 
and my body just shake like im fiending
painful, i remember the feeling 
stitch myself cause i dream i'm in pieces

i dont feel good (feat. kennedyxoxo & skele) [p. irby]

love jai

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