SPOTIFY

A KNIGHTS HONOR

sorry for the late upload out on spotify now

https://open.spotify.com/album/4igXLiY4esguSrOa2WHLMx?si=37FLOWh9SQWWTnm7_zRtNg

recorded by me
mixed by @everettlatte

lyrics:
Memories are fading
Memories are fading
Memories are fading
Memories are fading
Memories are fading
Memories are fading
Memories are fading
Mom Jaidens making hyperpop again

Our memories are fading
I don't wanna wait and
You tell me you love but I know you don't
I wake up sick and shaking
Sometimes I cry from breaking
I think i'm the only one ill let in real close
And girl I take the blame
Girl I take the blame

Don't regret a single thing that I said that night
We'll move onto better things when the time feels right
I heard you got a new man
Don't wanna know what he's like
I hope he's making you smile
I guess ill never know
Yeah and honestly it kills me
That you wont know the real me
Its why I put my pain and heart inside the songs
But go ahead girl put the blame on me
I don't understand why they hate on me
I show love more than I get it that shit puts a toll on me
Im so tired of feeling weak
I wake up sick its killing me
I know I said its all for you but now I do this shit for me

I'm so tired of feeling weak
I'm so tired of
I'm so tired of
I'm so tired of feeling weak
I'm so tired of
I'm so tired of
I'm so tired of feeling weak
I'm so tired of
I'm so tired of
I'm so tired of feeling weak
I'm so tired of
I'm i'm i'm i'm

BLAME

spotify

BLAME (p. lilbiscuit)

I'll waste my time if it's wasted on you
I don't wanna sink alone
And your not mine but you're so damn fine
Why does it feel right when it's so wrong
I'm stuck inside my head again
Think I need my medicine
Ashing on your windowsill
I'm hardly making any sense
Saying things I never meant
And you're so filled up with regret
Tell me what the fuck is next
Cause your someone I can't forget

Ooo
Ooo
Guess I gotta let you go
But tell me why the fuck is it always my fault
They always break my heart
And I never know the cause
I can't handle new scars
So I'm always running far

I'm always running from
Those things you say you want
Picking up again
I got a brand new scar
Got a brand new heart
Come and take it all
Leave me hurt again its probably all my fault
It's always all my fault
I fucking hate those songs
I'm losing everything i'm breaking
I don't want you gone
Tell me anything that I can do to make it stop
I been waiting here alone for fucking way too long
So tell me all about how you been waiting for it
I wanted innocent love you wanna leave me damaged
So tell me all about how you been waiting for it
I wanted innocent love you wanna leave me damaged

Ooo
Ooo
Guess I gotta let you go
But tell me why the fuck is it always my fault
They always break my heart
And I never know the cause
I cant handle new scars
So i'm always running far
Don't know what I need but I know what I want yeah yeah
Still feel empty nothings enough gotta get it all I know

ALWAYS MY FAULT

ALWAYS MY FAULT w/ ghoul_001 [lilbiscuit]

(: <3 lyrics below

I know you see me
You check up on me now and then we're stuck in repeat
One week we're fine the next we're not you love to break me
I don't feel good right now ooo
Right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Oh right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Oh right now right now
Don't feel good right now now now now

I can't take back what I did to you
Girl its the same for you
Don't lie yeah we both know it's true
Yeah we both know it's true
Ooo
It's you I needed
Ooo
My hearts always bleeding
Right now right now now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now now
Right right right right now now now now
Ugh
Right now right now now
Now now now now
I don't feel good now now
I I I don't feel good now

I don't feel good now
But baby ill put it behind me
She just pulled up to the party and i'm in the corner where no one can find me
I'd rather would keep to myself
I'm not the type to be following blindly
I don't need anyones help
Fuck it I lied man i'm practically dying
And I know she never cared
She just wants a couple dollars
I don't know why the fuck I bother
And to be honest girl i'm scared
If I keep going down this path then ill end up just like my father
And I know she never cared
She just wants a couple dollars
I don't know why the fuck I bother
And to be honest girl i'm scared
If I keep going down this path then ill end up just like my father

I can't take back what I did to you
Girl its the same for you
Don't lie yeah we both know it's true
Yeah we both know it's true
Ooo
It's you I needed
Ooo
My hearts always bleeding
Right now right now now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now now
Right right right right now now now now
Ugh
Right now right now now
Now now now now
I don't feel good now now
I I I don't feel good now

I don't feel good now I hate it by myself
And my mom is telling me that I should get some help
Couple pills to start I learned to play the part
And lately I been thinking I might break apart
And I know he never cared
He was all that I needed and i'm just taking the bleeding and I
Wanted to tell you it ain't fair
I hope it hurts when you see me
I won't be there when you need me and I

I can't take back what I did to you
Girl its the same for you
Don't lie yeah we both know it's true
Yeah we both know it's true
Ooo
It's you I needed
Ooo
My hearts always bleeding
Right now right now now
Don't feel good right now now now now
Right now right now now
Right right right right now now now now
Ugh
Right now right now now
Now now now now
I don't feel good now now
I I I don't feel good now

i dont feel good

i dont feel good (feat. kennedyxoxo & skele) [p. irby]

And
You hold me down but you holding me up
I only do these drugs when I'm feeling stuck yeah
Lovestruck got my heart all in a damn knot
I just wanna get some time back right now
Cut another one I wont leave til I'm fucked up
I got problems with these people they all stuck up
Okay roll me one and take the pain away
I'm just doing me I don't care what the fuck you say

Moral of the story everyday I'm on the same shit
I don't wanna talk about a thing it aint gone fix it
Oh no
Tell me what the fuck is going on cause I don't know bro
I keep holding on just by a thread this shit a tight rope
The voices in my head said ima be dead no matter where I go
So that's why I get high it help me balance out my lows
But if you ask me why ima tell you I don't know
I don't know yeah yeah

You hold me down but you holding me up
I only do these drugs when I'm feeling stuck yeah
Lovestruck got my heart all in a damn knot
I just wanna get some time back right now
Cut another one I wont leave til I'm fucked up
I got problems with these people they all stuck up
Okay roll me one and take the pain away
I'm just doing me I don't care what the fuck you say

I'm just doing me
Could give a fuck what they think
Paranoid in public
Dropping E in my drink
Yeah I'm rolling now
Rolling round not coming down
I don't fuck with people
Always falling out
I can see your see through
Oh you think I need you
You must be confused
I just need the chemicals
Tweaking in the restroom
I hope that it ends soon
Stacking money staying true
That's like all I can do

You hold me down but you holding me up
I only do these drugs when I'm feeling stuck yeah
Lovestruck got my heart all in a damn knot
I just wanna get some time back right now
Cut another one I wont leave til I'm fucked up
I got problems with these people they all stuck up
Okay roll me one and take the pain away
I'm just doing me I don't care what the fuck you say

highs & lows

spoitfy

highs & lows w/ hamilton (p. methboiswag+frevel+roxa)

if we died, would our ghosts fw each other?

this city is a monster

this city is a monster (feat. hamilton) [p. stay woozy]

recorded by @hammy & I 
mixed by @hammy
produced by @remghost & @irby314

in my sleep i toss n turn
pressure what i burn
i stay on the edge but i dont like to wait my turn
all the lessons that i learned dont really mean a fucking thing
& no matter where im at i always seem to come around to you
to you
bae lemme take a lil more im not having fun yet
i always say some shit i didnt mean to get you upset
if thats the way it is im sorry that im such a mess

was it something that i said
or was it just me
try to play me like im dumb you might end up six feet
cause i dont play nice you cant walk all over me
now im stepping out the door you gonna miss me when i live
but i wont miss you burning bridges fall through
mixing medicine inside my cup its who i talk to
cause i know that i aint perfect i got plenty lose screws
plenty trust issues i dont know whats true

in my sleep i toss n turn
pressure what i burn
i stay on the edge but i dont like to wait my turn
all the lessons that i learned dont really mean a fucking thing
& no matter where im at i always seem to come around to you
to you
bae lemme take a lil more im not having fun yet
i always say some shit i didnt mean to get you upset
if thats the way it is im sorry that im such a mess

toss n turn

toss n turn (feat. hamilton) [p. remghost+irby]

<3 

tilting over like the pictures on your wall
i didnt wanna meet your mom and dad they didnt like me at all
somehow they liked me oh
down the line its you and me now that dont get along and
somethings arent always better than nothing
your love is like the ocean and i just wanna jump in
relationships and me they hardly ever work
im tryna keep my balance i just keep slipping first

so is it annoying i keep falling
no i dont wanna say goodbye
and it keeps slipping in my conscious
youre better off not being alive
oh im disgusted
i wanna end it all and watch the world turn to dust bitch
im tired of seeing everybody get what they want 
when i cant get what i need
im on the fucking edge of everything i just wanna leave

oh oh oh
so is it important to you cause god knows this shits important to me
and i lost every part of me trynna be what they want me to be
theres a war inside my head lately i just want peace
so is it annoying i keep falling cant stand on my two damn feet
i tried a thousand of times im at a thousand and one
i wanna blow my fucking brains but i dont own a gun
none of this is fun

so is it annoying i keep falling
no i dont wanna say goodbye
and it keeps slipping in my conscious
youre better off not being alive
oh im disgusted
i wanna end it all and watch the world turn to dust bitch
im tired of seeing everybody get what they want 
when i cant get what i need
im on the fucking edge of everything i just wanna leave

<3

disgusted with myself

DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF [p. king theta]

feat @kennedysucks lyrics below<3

Oh yeah
I can be alone if i want
It'll only take a second i can tell you when i'm done
Shawty too conceited oh hell yeah i mean it
Can i get my heart back really i don't need it
Swear she drive me crazy til my tank on E 
Take what you want from me
Fuck it
Focused on the bigger picture large amounts
Soon as i get that bitch i swear to god i'm cashing out
Hop in that whip i start that shit and throw the key yea
I need a spliff i'm rolling straight up out the bowl
Boutta dive inside the water head first
Geronimo 
They cant tell which one is harder
This or the last idk oh oh
Bitch i'm sick as fuck i feel like i'm Kim possible
I race to the money and i break down every obstacle
Bitch ill make you next to go
Don't play with me go play with bro
You can cross the line but after that 
The shits a tight rope 
Tight rope tight rope
You can cross the line but after that 
The shits a tight rope 
Yeah yeah oh
You can cross the line but after that 
The shits a tight rope 

She can cross the line i swear to god there aint no happy ending
Does she love me does she love me not you really had me guessing
Was it worth it
That shit hurt a lot before i learned my lesson
No ones perfect but i'm working hard to not lose your attention
What is love
I'm just sick of always feeling broken hearted
I need to toughen up
She asked me whats wrong don't even get me started 
Suck it up
One day ill have everything i ever wanted
Run it up
For every single time i was disregarded
Cause honestly if i was superman you'd be my Lois lane
I'm constantly writing love letters to you this is so insane
A sign of Kennedy hugs and kisses
Swear one day they gonna know his name
I'll make it better we'll be together
I don't want you to go away

I can be alone if i want
It'll only take a second i can tell you when i'm done
Shawty too conceited oh hell yeah i mean it
Can i get my heart back really i don't need it
Swear she drive me crazy til my tank on E 
Take what you want from me
Fuck it
Focused on the bigger picture large amount
Soon as i get that bitch i swear to god i'm cashing out
Hop in that whip i start that shit and throw the key yea
I need a spliff i'm rolling straight up out the bowl
Boutta dive inside the water head first
Geronimo 
They cant tell which one is harder
This or the last idk oh oh
Bitch i'm sick as fuck i feel like i'm Kim possible
Bitch i'm bitch i'm bitch i'm sick as fuck I feel like oh oh oh
Bitch i'm sick as fuck i feel like i'm Kim possible
Bitch i'm sick as fuck i feel like i'm Kim possible
Oh oh oh
Hop in that whip i start that shit and throw the key yea
I need a spliff i'm rolling straight up out the bowl
Boutta dive inside the water head first
Geronimo 
They cant tell which one is harder
This or the last idk oh oh
Bitch i'm sick as fuck i feel like i'm Kim possible
I race to the money and i break down every obstacle

KIM POSSIBLE (feat. kennedyxoxo) [p. ayeitsnate]

<3
i cut up our pictures
theyll never last
and even tho i miss you
im never coming back oh

she call me im insensitive
i never mean to hurt tho
she say ima hermit
whatevers coming
i deserve it bro
i smell something burning
the bridges down
and the tables turned
i feel so uncomfortable
no matter what its head to toe
i still got her pheromones
i keep putting her jacket on
ask me how im feeling
i jus fake a smile and knod it off

so im tossing and turning our bridge burnt down
can you gimme one good reason i should stick around yeah
no i wont give you one goodbye
dont know whats ahead of me
so i wont take no ones advice
dont project your shit up onto me
i dont know what i wanna be
and i dont care whos that fond of me
this shit right here is my everything
i need a pen and paper to tell you
all the things i sacrificed in my life for this
itd be a long list with a lot of bullshit right now that i really miss

so tell me what the fuck you mean
i wear my heart all on my sleeve
i open up to everyone i ever meet
and then they always fucking leave
except the last one yeah thats all my fault
i wont blame anyone but myself
i cant drag you down with me if i dont make it outta this fucking hell
that dont mean i dont miss your smile
or the way you looked in my eyes
how the fuck you calling me selfish i was worried bout you the whole time
dont put your faith in me
im a bad bet to gamble with
dancing with the devil at your door with the candle lit woo
issa cold world tell me what your living for
i see the signs everywhere its too hard to ignore
and i hate myself enough for the both of us
just let me go
i swear to god this is never what i wanted
hit my phone i let it ring
sabotaging everything
yeah i lost my best friend and a part of me
i wont see again
still holding on to the last bits
ill make sure the last pieces fit
fucked up in my head but i know one day it wont mean shit

the good the bad and the ugly

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY [p. recyclebin+irby]

i think she the baddest bitch
get her what she wants
im tired of leaving my heart out
all on my sleeve
i told lil mama to call out i want her all to me
yeah i wanna put in that work
jump in that whip counting money like the first
shawty tried to do me bad
lucky i dont do yo ass a lil worse
im the type to let karma do her work
baby who ya call on when youre feeling all alone
i know now that im gone i was right and you were wrong

she caught herself a lil vibe yea
im tryna get a lil high
no you dont gotta ask me twice or why
im stacking money watch it multiple
yea im fucked up she fucked up
we dont know who to trust
im for the win yeah its never them its always us
tell em talk nicely or dont talk at all
when she piss me off i get mad and walk it off
and we all know that i cant let her go
i dont know what it is but she special tho
hold up wait

i think she the baddest bitch
get her what she wants
im tired of leaving my heart out
all on my sleeve
i told lil mama to call out i want her all to me
yeah i wanna put in that work
jump in that whip counting money like the first
shawty tried to do me bad
lucky i dont do yo ass a lil worse
im the type to let karma do her work
baby who ya call on when youre feeling all alone
i know now that im gone i was right and you were wrong

i was right and you were wrong
i knew it all along
i thiught you where on my side
you left me all alone
i want you to love me now dont love me when im gone
baby tell me are you down
are you on what im on
are you on what im on
are you on what im on
cause i dont gotta lie
you got my heart racing every single night

karma (feat. hamilton) [p. methboiswag+1trcy]

anyways... this ones for you

anyways... this ones for you [p. king theta]

youre the closest thing to home

youre the closest thing to home [p. king theta]

mv: https://youtu.be/jC0BrvmWBf8
lyrics below


Whoo whoo whoo whooo
hmm whoa whoa whoa lol

why my finger tips numb in the middle of the summer
heart still racing without you and its a bummer
i cant fall in love again even if i wanna
look inside the mirror and you can tell that ima goner

220 on this ounce baby ima smoke it down
you even got my momma asking me why you aint been around
i jus pray you dont fuck another nigga making me the clown
wake in the morning get geeked and i hate it
im only feeling okay when im faded
yeah i know im an addict
yeah at least i got the guts to say it
ima cut this bitch up hit the stu and i go super saiyan
oh you dont think i keep it true with you lil baby what you sayin
from the bottom of my heart i never meant for shit to go this way
last night i smoked a whole eighth i still couldnt get my ass to sleep
thats about the fourteenth time this week i found something wrong with me
huh whats going on wit me 
nah forreal whats going on wit me
normally i would go fuck on another bitch baby i think youre all i need
yeah ill be okay sont want no company
pray to the sky yeah yeah ill be alright uh huh 
bae dont start no shit if youre not gonna finish it
good things come in time oh yeah yeah i know that im really him

ooo
bae dont start no shit if youre not gonna finish it
yea yea yea yea
you know im really him
yea yea yea yea
yeaa oh
yea oh
yea yea yea yea oh ooo
yea yea yea yea oh ooo
yea yea yea yea oh ooo

why my finger tips numb in the middle of the summer
heart still racing without you and its a bummer
i cant fall in love again even if i wanna
look inside the mirror and you can tell that ima goner

220 [p. jkjmetasco] *MV in bio*

some of my most emotional songs out everywhere<3 love u

Runaway

runaway (feat. jomie & spookybands)

https://linktr.ee/lovejai
new song every thursday lyrics below
prod. jolst

huh ok im off this
you done lost ur mind or ur conscious
huh oh u dont want this
well neither do i atleast im honest
you think im insatiable i know
idk where it all went wrong
been on this road for far too long
so fuck the feedback
you can keep every piece of my heart cause ion need that
its always urs for the taking
u know i dont mind waiting
ooo girl especially for u
feel like it all going down the drown baby
emotional im feeling all the pain lately
and ik life is all about change
cause every where i go nothing ever stays the same
only thing thats set in stone is ur n my last name
bae i got a wedding ring lets get married n not tell a soul
you think im insatiable
i think im jus cynical
but whenever im wit ya bb its like im
huh
ready to go x9

READY TO GO [p. jolst]

lost the save so the mix is a$$ but this is my favorite song so im still dropping it (feat. Jomie)

our crystal ball is breaking (feat. Jomie)

IMA LIL BIT FvCKED UP BUT SO R U

unsinkable [p. sailor]

sit back relax
let it all go to waste
you try your best
some things dont ever change
i cant believe i let it slip from in front of me
sometimes the better things in life r sitting in ya face

and its hard to follow you right now
but i try my best to hold it down
either way it goes im walking thru the fye 
hell and back im wit ya baby yea its jus u n i
oh its jus u n i 
but its ok wen im in ur arms
cuz its jus u n i
its not hard to tell my right from wrongs
wen its jus u n i
oh i get it bb tell me y u been different lately o yea
and i keep to myself yea i stay in my lane
ion fuck wit no lames na

but im goin insane like kurt i might blow my brain
too bad i got more to say ima talk my pain
oh i hate the look on ur face
ima do this at my own pace
i gave u ever part u cud take
now theres not much u cud break

and its hard to follow you right now
but i try my best to hold it down
either way it goes im walking thru the fye 
hell and back im wit ya baby yea its jus u n i
oh its jus u n i 
but its ok wen im in ur arms
cuz its jus u n i
its not hard to tell my right from wrongs
wen its jus u n i
oh i get it bb tell me y u been different lately o yea
and i keep to myself yea i stay in my lane
ion fuck wit no lames na

U N I [p. sowhat]

I feel the same way that you do
But I mind my business baby I jus stick n move
U love being petty wen im acting stupid
Told u I’m sorry idk why I do it
You dont hear me out whenever I want
And I dont give a damn about anyone else but
You 
You

You been trippin on me like u dnt got no options
Tryna rip my heart out bb tell me wen u plan on stopping
Eh oh I’m back in my mode I’m back in my zone
I’m tryna fuck it up ima keep goin
My lil brudda jus told me im on hmm
Rlly ion even feel like im on
But I jus got $20k yea this morning
My whip got an app for alarms Issa foreign
Imagine a bitch tryna tell me im boring
U don’t needa huh to see where im going
She a vibe but she not that important
I wake up everyday thanking the lord
I live the life that I want And I don’t give a fuck
So don’t look at me for no remorse
Ik they talk bad behind close doors 
and they’ll probably do it wen im a corpse 
Its alright tho im good baby I hold it down of course
And anything standing inside of my way 
I knock the shit down this world is my course
U gotta
Pick up the pace
She put in work no minimum wage
I’m not here to play 
ima slide in the Porsche or the wraith
And the only thing that ik
Is that I don’t wanna let u go
No not tomorrow not today

I feel the same way that you do
But I mind my business baby I jus stick n move
U love being petty wen im acting stupid
Told u I’m sorry idk why I do it
You dont hear me out whenever I want
And I dont give a damn about anyone else but
You 
You

nice knowing you [p. oliverr_01]

THIRD DEGREE

COULDNT FIND A FUCK TO GIVE [p. jkjmetasco]

i rlly loved u /: [p. jkjmetasco]

sometimes i…

feel the tension i wanna give up 
N did I mention idgaf
Oh its a lesson cuz bb im stuck 
The time i invested I wanna get back
I want love but run when im attached
Look in the mirror and I hate where im at
Fuck ur opinion especially if it bout me
Sometimes I wish they could see the world how i c

Sometimes I hate myself I hate the way I be
There’s not a soul that could hate me more than me
Even my momma asking me if I’m all g
Idk how to talk so I put it on a beat
Gave u all my <3 n u act like that shit cheap
Yea I told u from the start I’m all urs to keep
And even tho we miles apart I still see u in my dreams
Hmm hmmm 

feel the tension i wanna give up 
N did I mention idgaf
Oh its a lesson cuz bb im stuck 
The time i invested I wanna get back
I want love but run when im attached
Look in the mirror and I hate where im at
Fuck ur opinion especially if it bout me
Sometimes I wish they could see the world how i c

tension [p. methboiswag]

UNLUCKY

RIHANNA

LOSE YOU

THINK

plenty times [p. methboiswag]

sorry for the mid mix i lost the save and couldn’t fw it

drop the pin i miss u so much omgggg[p. jkjmetasco]

Ull feel better when its all said and done
Id rather walk away before I ever run 
oh bb I been going 2 crazy
If I get this $ can u promise we’ll have 3 babies
Fucked up in my head idk wtf could rlly save me
Everytime im deep up in ya mouf u spit just like its rabies 
Everytime I walk up in the spot I’m like its fuck u pay me
Honestly I could get it all rn I don’t think that it’d change me

I got 10 years in this bitch im still not doing shit
Tell me what’s the point bb can u see what I’m missing?
I keep comin up short
Bad ass bitch im tryna go for it
Fuck the aventador I want that whip that I could floor 
Oh I’m like my bad that’s some shit I can’t afford
I ain’t never had no car before my nigga I’d take a ford
And I ain’t never claim no girl before my nigga oh not no hoe
Oh u wanna pick it up where we left off?
I’d rather die and go kick it with god hmm

I keep it all the way 100
Ima do me until im in the ground bitch idgaf ab nun
Niggas wanna hate me then love me wen they see im up to sum
I dont even want nun from no one
I jus want a 100m for my momma
I jus be talking my nigga I’m not even rapping
Im telling the world my trauma
Im tryna blow up in my city yeah I feel jus like osama
Bb im done I don’t want drama
Ill hit ya back maybe next summer
Oh u can talk about where I’m at now but ik I’ll be numba wonna (one)

love jai

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks