SIAH - Paradise City (2019)

U can call me crazy cause I buried your reflection In my head 

And shorty said it’s pitiful so imma but a bullet in my hand 

Crazy that I’m fucking numb 
U said u wanna fucking die 
And I don’t wanna fucking love 
But baby caught me by surprise 

There’s only hatred in my heart 
And love was just a camouflage
And baby please don’t fucking start 
I might just cause a homicide 

Fuck fuck shorty wanna cry inside my arms
If u fuck with my emotions imma put it in a song I said 
Fuck fuck shorty making me miss my alarms
Almost lost my fucking focus when I’m beating on the drum

If I’m drunk baby would u talk to me 
Swear I fell in love with your company 
Got hella mixed feelings while you look at me 
If god he was here he would take me 

Where the fuck do I lie in the night 
You’re just fucking here to hear me song my lullabies

philophobia (prod. diedinoctober)

Sticks&Stones (prod.yunny goldz)

toco24

Motley Crue

gotta go

prod. drma, nihil2free, and 80root

they say the grass ain’t greener on the other side
but the grass over here done already died 
u thnk im slow, why u constantly tellin me lies ?
u thnk ian kno? u a hoe need a better disguise 
u like fuck niggas, go nd pick a better guy
wtf is up witchu, go nd get a better life
or u can wait in line, wait til its ur time
she ride me like a scooter youd thnk i work for lime

yuh nd i tried to fit in, yuh i like being different 
i thought i gave u all my time, wassup wit this distance 
her hat nd jeans b fitted, im the one ur missin
i could hit ur mrs but ian even dissin

yuh nd i tried to fit in, yuh i like being different 
i thought i gave u all my time, wassup wit this distance 
why u always trippin? im on a money mission 
i could hit ur mrs but ian even dissin

ian gotta make a diss, u still gon hear me
nd i promise there’s no one whose puttin fear in me
u said ur boys got sum guns? my boys got sum first degrees
im jus tryna have sum fun, these btches b so thirsty 

they say the grass ain’t greener on the other side
but the grass over here done already died 
u thnk im slow, why u constantly tellin me lies ?
u thnk ian kno? u a hoe need a better disguise 
(need a better disguise, pick better guys)
whoa uh huh whoa oh whoa uh huh uh uh

they say the grass ain’t greener on the other side
but the grass over here already done died 
i got voices in my head, sayin i should unalive..
myself… im in hell

yea my heart got broke too many times
i cant even sleep at nite, sleep at nite (i cant sleep)
yea u told me dat u love me, why u lie? (lie to me)
i no longer have any tears left to cry (cry for me)
would u rlly love me if i fuckin died?
why dont u rlly love me, never told me why? (tell me now)
yea my heart got broke too many times
i cant even sleep at nite, im not alright

disguise

05 Happy Eyes

Dark Hearted prod riceeaterbeatz

[Lyrics]

Ive never felt more alone then on the day you said you were leaving 
Couldn’t feel my mouth 
But could feel my heart shatter into pieces
There isn’t a word to explain how i’m feeling
The torment inside of me blinds me from seeing
A world without you i’m so lost without meaning 
Trapped in exhausting self doubt that i can’t peel off

Ive been tryna get myself together for weeks
Until i remember i’m never gunna be anything 
Everything’s so pointless i just wanna go sleep 
Until i forget it or these pain killers do it for me
The lights go out and i can take my mask off and be me and i cry so hard on my own till i can’t say words or breathe 
This pain inside of me i can’t pass on in the sheets
Still i distract myself with girls and drugs to fill cuts so deep

I just need a friend i just need a friend
The worst thing is i’d do it again i’d do it again
I’d take all this pain and agony that keeps me up in the night 
Id take it all twice maybe three times if i could go back in time
I’m so ashamed of who i’ve now become and there’s no one i can lean on 
I’ll take prescriptions till i’m numb
I’m so damaged i don’t even feel like me Disassociating every time i go out i’m so lonely

All i can do is blame myself was i not enough for you
Was it my fault all this time
I know i’m not perfect all i can do is try
I feel so ungrateful biting every hand out
Tryna help me 
I can’t help but think they don’t care
Ive been trying so hard
I can’t do this no more why cant i be enough

I don’t even know how i can help myself at this point
It’s like im trapped i’m stuck up in this vicious cycle 
Fighting all these demon without a weapon in silence 
All these people wanna help me but they’ll never be the right one
I just wanna stay inside and rot away till my time comes
Ive been hoping and waiting but i can’t seem to fix myself
These suicidal thoughts just go and infiltrate my brain
This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go but it’s all down the drain 

Ive been tryna get myself together for weeks
Until i remember i’m never gunna be anything 
Everything’s so pointless i just wanna go sleep 
Until i forget it or these pain killers do it for me
The lights go out and i can take my mask off and be me and i cry so hard on my own till i can’t say words or breathe 
This pain inside of me i can’t pass on in the sheets
Still i distract myself with girls and drugs to fill cuts so deep

toco24

apst