this is ridiculous, ive been waiting for months rhis is insane

i cannot compete for bitches man you’re just the saddest bunch
i got them sitting in their bedroom they’re feeling mad as fuck

i used to be so embarrassing
nowadays i don’t say shit
everybody hates everyone but they’re too afraid to say it

i’m just not better than anybody 
i get distracted by pretty bodies 
maybe if i had just taken my time i wouldn’t be trapped in this melancholy 

i watched my friends become enemies
i guess they just weren’t feeling me
look through the rubble of everything
i guess that shit wasn’t meant for me

i love every leaf that grows after me
look down the branch they still mad at me
they think that my grass is greener it didn’t come naturally
they think that my fruit is sweet but they’re never taking a bite of me

dammit i’m living what i wrote 
god dammit i’m living what i wrote

seems i made my heart to mince meat
i just miss the feel when you kiss me
cry in front of my friends in the backseat
i’m so tired it’s not that hard to see

i’ll never know when it’s my turn
search for the feeling that i yearn
won’t be a stone i leave unturned
light all the bridges i’ll let them burn

not sure if it’s fine to still cry about things that i thought i was over with
and you aren’t mine i still wish i could call you and get this pain over with
cause every time that i see you on my phone don’t know if you’re missing me
one thing’s for certain the one thing that matters is you’re not forgetting me

cause i told you that i love you first
nowadays i’ve been feeling the worst
i’m sorry the thought of you doesn’t hurt
just missing the feeling you would return
salt in the wound guess i’ll let it burn
i need my penance there’s more to learn

i’ll never know when it’s my turn

i’m one with the birds again
i’m one with the woods again
i know it’s better off that,
that i did it myself again

penance

@rosesleeves

not really sure if i need you im still looking around for a substance 
every time that i see you you’re walking around like he doesn’t 
i try so hard not to act like i’m above it 
please don’to call me you’re soulmate cause in the end he wasn’t

can you keep a secret
they won’t ever have to know it if you don’t repeat it
i’m not the one to show you everything that you’ve been dreamin
i’m not present but i’m sick of staring at the ceiling

keep your feelings
i’ve been feeling lonely
and everytime i ask myself
“but does she even know me”
i could try and write a song but it can’t ever hold me
and if you could take it back you’d still say what you told me

as if there’s something to feel

i’m swearing as soon as you opened the door was the moment you had me
as badly as i wanna be in love i can’t be 
the role that i know that i only can play is the hopeless romantic
but the way you come onto me’s honestly sending me into a panic

stop asking me how i’ve been doing it’s all in the music 
lately i don’t feel like it’s my life how did it come to this 
don’t know how much longer i’ll do this 
it’s been so hard by myself but at least i won’t ever stop trying 
can’t say that i haven’t been crying 
can’t say i don’t think about dying

keep a secret

written, performed, mixed and mastered by bedhead & wstdyth
produced by donttrustlando & tgwog
recorded @ goblin haven
art by bedhead
lyrics:
I don’t wanna talk bout drama
Baby get money not mad
And I raised you all if I’m honest
Calling me mommy not dad
I keep it true to the facts
Don’t gotta thank me for that
I was asleep at the pad when my power was cut and my blankets were trash
My heart is could to the touch
Hotter than yours is too much
I’m only saying it once
If you listen closely you’ll be stunned
See me on a TV when I stunt
Rock me like a riff that’s hella grunge
Thought that I could be your only one
But I never thought that that would be enough
Drink a redbull slowing down the clock 
Got these wings like a albatross 
I wander but I'm not lost 
I wonder if these dice are tossed 
Will I roll snake eyes 
I can read your mind so don't say lies 
It's always up and down I guess c'est la vie 
That V on your shirt looks so lame brah
Feel like the Citadel how I got all these ricks yeah 
I'm at the wishing well Imma throw in my chips yeah
I luv the kush smell resin over my lips yeah
Walk on my tiptoes by the light of the moon
Why you wanna see me lose
Imma cash in all my blues 
Feel so sick catching the flu 
Fashion piled up in my room

ALL PLATFORMS

if u listen closely w/ wstdyth (+ donttrustlando x tgwog)

perfect darkness

life goes on [prod. shinju]

garden avenue

music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rXUu6tG0y8

backstage (brody + taylor morgan)

remember from within
existence will cleanse me from my sin
i ask myself like, "where do i begin?"
i might teach myself to jump out of my skin

so busy and numb
i guess it's better than down bad
the realest shit that i wrote was a moment that i had
i'm where the gold outflows, where's the exposure at?
you got those sold out shows, so where your owners at?

you cannot speak on the addict
you think you're better than me, okay
can't you see me how i'm laughin'?
fuck all the powers that be, okay
i like to think i do magic
i like to think i do magic
i like to think i do magic

i'm tryna do more with less
fall turned to wintertime, you said "i'm ride or die"
i put that shit to the test
on the clock all the time and i'm not stopping
you'd think i'm not getting my rest
i'm really not getting my rest
not until i get all my respect
he was looking like me and i blocked out the memory
i know that i was a wreck

i go to sleep before everything all starts making sense
i shoulder the weight, oh my god, the pressure's so immense
i'm fighting the ache, all of the pain is so intense
every song i'm creating is only at my expense

magic

enamored by some petty things and i learned
it's not naturally created, knowing that hurts
praying that my back won't break, my ankles were first
hoping that i'll make it but it's been the reverse

lacking inspiration
i can't take a break, need more creations
going through some changes, maybe mutations
things that you're not fixing with some conversations

i'm gonna take it back, 'cause it's mine
you don't have to believe me, believe in me, it's fine
i've been so obsessed with my self-innovation
the kind of mine is born once in a generation

i'm gonna take it back, 'cause it's mine
you don't have to believe me, believe in me, it's fine
disappeared and faced the one inside the mirror
i tried to wipe it off but wasn't seeing clearer

i knew the truth the whole time, wanted you to say i'm right
always lost in the back of my own mind every time i close my eyes
no way to soothe my aching bones, i've been working my whole life
nothing stagnant, only want changes, i pray every day and night

i can't breathe, but you're what i need
you've got no empathy
tell me how to leave this lifetime of greed
you're tryna climb but you're not planting the tree

enamored by some petty things and i learned
it's not naturally created, knowing that hurts
praying that my back won't break, my ankles were first
hoping that i'll make it but it's been the reverse

lacking inspiration
i can't take a break, need more creations
going through some changes, maybe mutations
things that you're not fixing with some conversations

mutations

i found a strand of your hair right in my pillowcase
i can't describe the feeling how my heart aches
there's so many things that i wish i could say
i guess i only wonder if you're playing it safe
everything was meant only to be, just not as long as it seemed

but i could never cheat on you, or even anyone
unless they did it to me first because i might be that petty
my insecurities, there might be too many
i wanted nothing more than us going steady

it's such a shame how the times have changed
i renounce it all and let the feeling remain
another day, dead and gone to waste

i tried to go back and find it, that's when i knew i was wrong
ran out of words to describe it, that's when i ruined the song

all the water in the ocean couldn't wash that stain
wish i was feeling something other than pain
and i've been going through the motions with no chance to complain
worried i'm working without something to gain

aching from the weight of my grief, show me mercy

show me mercy

but i could never cheat on you, or even anyone
unless they did it to me first because i might be that petty
my insecurities, there might be too many
i wanted nothing more than

i spent my days trying to be multifaceted
in some years i'd try to tally up the damages
i can't hope you'd take me back, i guess i'm past it
and like the other song goes, "i like to do magic"

fear is only a feeling that only feelings can change
i still try to maintain, but despite everything strange
our different phases of life, i'll never blame
i light the spliff and hope the emotions fade

i tried to go back and find it, that's when i knew i was wrong
ran out of words to describe it, that's when i ruined the song
all the water in the ocean couldn't wash that stain
wish i was feeling something other than pain
i've been going through the motions with no chance to complain
worried i'm working without something to gain

how can ever keep myself from harm?
running away to scream inside my car

magic

polearm

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