this riff is so fucking angular and awesome !!!

love y'all :)

lyrics:
you're a boy, builder boy
driving straight to illinois
have a friend or a few
you have no friends   

all remorse, intercourse
they have seen too much of you
you're a worthless, ugly view
you are worthless

you're a mess, don't annoy
to them, you're a lego toy
abs in disrepair
abs

all regret, harsh vignette
put it through your useless head
find your way to the middle east
find your way

lose yourself, go get laid
there's a hefty price to pay
you won't sleep for a couple weeks 
you won't sleep

all remorse, intercourse
they have seen too much of you
you're a worthless, ugly view

you are worthless

catching your lie
try to survive
i coulda died
into your knife

gargling blood
onto your lap
as you run your
hands through my hair

vision blurring
looking at you
lucky to see
you smirking at me

twisting that knife
into my lung
making it mush
still not enough

click

illinois

FAbDbAbBbf

i've not wanted to know anyone like i want to know your spit
when you do see me defeated, please love me in spite of it
there has been no one i've trusted with the simple sides of me
girl who only wants to see you, that is all i really need

you don't know how bad i need you, it's like air inside my lungs
a pneumonic kind of fever when i'm thinking you're the one
taking coughing fits as signs that we are only meant to be
girl who only wants to see you that is all i really need

spit

I need to rebuild this vessel

I can feel its hull caving in

Nine taps I’ll smack the aft cabin

Beneath the waves

But my prayers
Have been broadcast

And the flare
It has flown fast

Hand it off
To the coastguard

I’ll wash up
In a shipyard

The only water this ship will set sail in

Is the pond sprinkled around its feet

And the fog that pools under its wings

Dead man’s wave

But the pond
It is teeming

And the fog
It is lifting

Know it all
Seems so hard

When you’re stuck
In a shipyard

Shipyard

with my big eyes, open head
wondering where ive been
simmering, shimmering
look into my reflection
dots the pools, ripples, rippling
thru the blues, muddy shoes
mossy ground, running on loop

somethings calling out, wants my name
tug and pull, line of shame
i let those strings carry me, wild game
but dont notice it, fading in, letting it
till im caught in her web
stick and silk warm my bed

this deep warm bed
open ended
built on avoidance
i sink in it

deep warm bed

breath keep

I started writing this song in the spring of ’22. This time was spent listening to the music of Yuki Kaneko and Manuella Blackburn while immersing myself in the flowering local grasslands. I was struck by the delicate, secluded intimacy of Yuki’s album “rut”, the jaw-dropping detail of Manuella’s “Formes audibles”, and how this music accentuated the surrounding landscape. I tried to capture this feeling and the sense of renewal it inspired while honoring these wonderful artists.

https://alexanderpanos.com

art in collaboration with Zachary Schwadel
instagram.com/zschwadel/

includes a sample of the title track from "rut" (and/OAR, 2008) by Yuki Kaneko
instagram.com/yuki_kaneko_bd/
https://www.and-oar.org/moar_2.html
many thanks to Yuki for generously allowing its inclusion!

aperture, for meadow

this might disappear someday so don't be mad at me

made in 24 hours
all sounds recorded with an sm57
effects and arrangement done on ableton live 12
cover art made in adobe illustrator
---
your time ran out

i couldn't build noah's ark and
feel like i'm falling in quicksand
i don't know what to do anymore
cause these demons bring me down
i cant control it no more

but they say
"angel why would you do that
angel you need to stop the fumble
angel you need to create fast
why did your other projects crumble"

can't stick with anything for long
i always move on
i always move on

sticks and stones just build my bones
foundation to the heart and soul
i've tried sharing with other people
but i cant no more
cant no more

i always knew about you
i always knew about you
and you knew me to

not afraid of letting go of my past and all my wrongs
silken tapestries i wove up all into a song
were cut to shreds by other versions of me
got to undo undo undo the versions of me

i always felt like i'm never perfect
weeping on my statue of my own self
i did it all like it's a service
except it's for me and nobody else
nobody else

shapeshifter

a song for two very special friends and their special relationship - happy birthday sarah (:

inspired by the ups and downs of canoe trips during my time as a boy scout, the music of kathleen edwards (voyageur)/death cab for cutie, and the turmoil that comes with someone that feels like they were born to write songs

made in collaboration with soundcloud.com/9nasu

mastered by soundcloud.com/liquidaden

thank you to soundcloud.com/charlie-zacks for letting me use his space to record most of this

posting this from Chicago Midway International Airport… feeling very grateful for soundcloud and the beautiful communities it connects so I’m impulsively posting something I started and finished last week

LYRICS:

VERSE 1:
Give me a pen
Give me a shrug
Give me anything but your love
Or you and I will be stuck, gushing forever

If all you aspire
Goes up in a fire
The hydrants out of water
You and I can be stuck, nothing together

CHORUS 1:
All doubts withdrawn, we’re playing it long, we’re gonna follow things through

And if it ever gets hard, the hurt in your heart, oh I’ll heal for you

I’ll heal for you

VERSE 2:
Cut the ivy
We’re trying to find
A dry place to put our tent tonight
Begging, “could you please spare some sunlight?”

We’ll cross the water
In our canoe
And sprint to shore as rain pours down on two
We’ll make a home right here under the spruce

CHORUS 2:
Our maps redrawn, we’re planning for dawn, we’re gonna follow this route

And if the flint doesn’t spark, ember in your heart, oh I’ll blow on it for you

I’ll glow for you

REFRAIN:
(Wick alight forever)
(Wick alight forever)

Wick Alight Forever

Hear the sound of yesterday
A memory fade away
In the rain

Hear the whispers of the moon
A shadow casts too soon
In the wind

Shrouding all our dreams
Finding paths we've lost
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the...

Hear the sighs of winter's past
A tear is falling down
In the dust

Hear this silence deep within
A tear is still
Falling down

Shrouding all our dreams
Finding paths we've lost
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the...

Ooh Ooh Ooh

Shrouding all our dreams
Finding paths we've lost
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the...

Ooh Ooh Ooh
Ooh Ooh Ooh

Shrouding all our dreams
Finding paths we've lost
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the bloom
In the...

Hear the sound of yesterday
A memory fade away
In the rain
In the dust
Falling down

Ooh Yeah Ooh Yeah

Memory fade away
In the rain
In the dust
Falling down

Ooh Yeah Ooh Yeah

The Daze

The Sound of Yesterday

The Sound Of Yesterday

Updated with some subtle atmospherics:

We go deeper, always deeper in the sun
When the light of the day, day is done
When the world is upside down
And the sky is holy ground

Now we're rolling, oh rolling out the scrolls
And cracking all the codes
The cipher lies within the book
Cryptic pages, take, take a look
In a glass, an image undefined
But a face beautiful and kind

Pull the strings that light has spun
Fall deeper, deeper in the sun
And the last, the last shall be first
And the meek will inherit the earth
When we shake, we shake the curse
In this glass, this image undefined
And the face beautiful and kind
In the sun, deeper in the sun
Down down

Image by Melody Hanson

illinois

‎preston woolsey

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