Our Closest Friend:

The doors have been opened, now step foot inside
Come join the festival of faceless disguise
Spirits appear as the night comes alive 
To convene with the guests and possessed both alike

Take part in the final event
The Grand Masquerade is accepting of all who attend
The last invitation’s been sent
It’s signed here:
Sincerely yours, 
Our closest friend

A crowd of illusions show secrets withheld
No need to deny that desire you felt
Higher we rise, while the magic’s dispelled
Now the wax in our wings is beginning to melt
I’ll swallow the sky as I fall back to earth
We’ve feasted on Heaven, now let’s sleep in the dirt
A rebirth for a soul that’s been lost in a curse
An untimely demise for the rest of the world

Take part in the final event
The Grand Masquerade is accepting of all who attend
The last invitation’s been sent
It’s signed here:
Sincerely yours, 
Our closest friend
What did you think we intend?
Enjoy the conclusion
We knew we would see you again
The affair is approaching it’s end
I propose a toast to the host,
Our closest friend

Our Closest Friend

From My Bedroom Window:

The stars are all falling along to the beat 
And I'm coming tumbling after
It's getting dark in here, too dark to see 
The room's turning faster, and faster it goes
I close my eyes and I'm already lost
As I turn to run the door comes to a close
I try to leave but exit is locked
I've swallowed the key
I've sealed myself in
The window was barred
But in that moment

I watched the sunrise
Over the October skyline
From my bedroom window
I saw skyscrapers outlined
Like a silhouette shadow
Against the rays of sunshine
From my prison window
Where I spend most of my time

The night sky is falling along to the beat 
And I'm coming tumbling after her
It's getting dark in here, too dark to sleep
The room's turning faster and faster
And faster, and faster it goes

I watched the sunrise
Over the October skyline
From my bedroom window
I saw skyscrapers outlined
Like a silhouette shadow
Against the rays of sunshine
From my prison window
Where I spend most of my time
Where I spend so much time

I sing along to the song that I hear
But here it's so eerily silent
Outside the picture is coming in clear
The colors so beautifully vibrant

Wash

From My Bedroom Window

what's that you say? you lose, i win? CHECKMATE.

demo.

january 2020.

a little rough on the vocals. check out the pinkerton synth.

laughing, i'm always laughing
never frowning, i'm always laughing
smiling, i'm always smiling
and never pouting
i'm always smiling

bad times, they go
good times, they flow

beaming, i'm always beaming
never hiding
always beaming
growing, i'm always growing
always knowing
always growing

good times, they flow
bad times they go
keeping my head above the water

Simon Cameron Fletcher - Laughing (demo)

A half-improvised piano piece. You can watch a video I made for it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRsw41BS5n0

Piano 1 - Demo

Single for 'Lone Songs', available for FREE here: https://martin-nilsen.bandcamp.com/album/lone-songs

---

BANDCAMP
https://martin-nilsen.bandcamp.com/
YOUTUBE
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEZXImNHjUgOwV_LZlR3iAQ

Wishes

Unwound:

Save your breath
I won't have you pitying me 
Bite your tongue
You insult me with your sympathy
I don't need your lectures
Or threats of leaving, 
Heaven forbid
Hold your tears
Your drama isn't welcome here
I tell you, "Let it be"
Instead you choose to persevere
Why don't you take a picture?
It'll last much longer than we ever did

How can you say that I'm the only one?
You pull my strings and watch me come undone
I'm lying on the ground
All unwound and out of love
I've had enough of you

Oh I’ve had enough of
You and your lies
I should cut you down to size
But I'll be the bigger man,
‘Cause I know you won't apologize
Say what's on your mind, 
But don't forget to think
Before you speak
Lose that tone
Before I lose my composure too
We should have known
This contention’s been long overdue
Let’s hash it out
Talking loudly always does the trick,
Wouldn't you agree?

How dare you say that I never cared
I didn’t mean to hurt you girl, I swear
But I won't let you walk away 
Until I say my fair share. 
Let's be clear
How can you say that I'm the only one?
You pull my strings and watch me come undone
I'm lying on the ground
All unwound and out of love
I've had enough of you

Unwound

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4X63fDecGBjKDUKjvUxnll?si=-V7x04saTj-Mjn_nHpKJYw
apple music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/put-ur-love-on-me-single/1543793605
tidal: https://tidal.com/browse/album/165261846

put ur love on me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_definitive/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/John_Definitive
Bandcamp: https://johndeaf.bandcamp.com

Prod, Mixed and Mastered by John Deaf

John Deaf - In Cells (Version 1)

How Does It Feel:

Excuse me, I guess it's just a dirty habit
I have a tendency of thinking too much about it
I've tried everything to keep you out
But I get so lonely when you're not around
Time flies faster when we're having fun
In one week I think we may have jumped the gun
You say you never saw this happening
Look in my eyes and tell me what you're thinking

You said you meant every word you spoke
But it hasn't felt the way it had before

So tell me baby how does it feel?
You made me think this was for real, oh yeah
If you don't need me let me go
But before I leave please let me know
Tell me baby, how does it feel?

I found out, it hit me like a ton of bricks
I never thought it ever would have come to this
I knew you once, but now it's just a passing glance
I want you back, but I know I can't take that chance
Goddamn, you really had a hold of me
I wish you never had let go of me
But I can't live this way
We're slipping out of reach

You said you meant every word you spoke
But it hasn't felt the way it had before

No part of me is proud of this
But seeing you happy makes me sick

So tell me baby how does it feel?
Tell me baby, how does it feel?
You made me think this was for real
Tell me, was this real?
If you don't need me let me go
But before I leave please let me know
Tell me baby, how does it feel?
How does it feel? 

When you lie awake at night
Do you think of me, even once in a while?
Or has your love really run its course?
Honey, I've been running back and forth
Over our top forty moments
'Cause you still haven't told me
Won't you let me know?
How does it feel?

How Does It Feel

i see chrome in the future

Download

Wish I Could:

I don’t need another reason
I’ve seen how this plays out before
And I can’t spend another trying year beside you here, 
If you can’t decide you need me anymore
You won’t let me leave without you
But you can’t bare to see me stay
Even though I thought that this time we might compromise,
I realize the choice is yours to make
I can’t make you think about me
I don’t expect you to relate
And even now I’d give myself if it would help,
Though I can’t give what you refuse to take

But I wish I could
And I wish you knew
That even though it’s almost over
Part of me will always be with you
I think that you know me
As well as anybody can
Hell, I don’t even know myself half as well,
But to hear you tell it helps me understand
You need me to focus,
To notice when it’s not about me
I’ve been trying hard to rule it out, 
But there’s no doubt
Our attention isn’t where it’s meant to be

And maybe there’s more to the story
But I don’t want to know how it ends
Give me another beginning
So we can start this over again
Please tell me how I can fix this
Let me try to be more than I am
You’ve tried to put all this behind you
You wish you could but you can’t

I wish we could leave this alone
But we won’t, and it’s wearing me thin
I wish I could let you go
But I wouldn’t know where to begin
I’d do anything to be what you need,
But you need me to be someone else
I wish you could see how hard
I try not to be myself

How Does It Feel

Pretty O.P.