i wanted to use my voice here but my it sucks and the melody reminds me of us in a sad way:(

thanks for listening<3 i hope you'll check out more of my music like this song.
this song + all my ambient tracks on my spotify playlist here
spotify version: open.spotify.com/playlist/4IB4U1ieSUcEor3LQkOAIy
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/my-head-is-ambient

all my ambient songs

i was only temporary (Super Slowed)

Distribute your music on popular platforms such as Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, Amazon, Deezer and many more! With our service, you can get your music on 150+ stores while retaining your rights and revenue. Sign up for free today on SpaceMedia.uk

Special message to SoundCloud Artists

Drivers License (Cover)

The reading of "I Understand My Grandmother Now" from PsychedelicThoughts.blog
---------------------------

4am
Who is this next to me?
This is not the one I wanted to love.

I reflect on yesterday.
Rude remarks,
Biting sarcasm,
Annoyance.
I hold myself together through the daggers to my heart.

He calls me condescending.
It was supposed to be a loving jest.
My gentle nature annoys him.

I joke, calling myself sweet.
He calls me bitter.
No trace of a smile on his face.

He was sweet and gentle at first.
Talking about cuddles, love, settling down.
Talk of only one woman for him.
Goals aligned, I am lured in.
I make the biggest mistake of my life.

One month goes by.
My sunlight melts away the facade.

So much bitterness and anger.
So cold and distant.
I receive only a trickle of kindness and affection.

He does not show me any affection.
He dreams of strippers and hookers.
Talks about other women.
Am I not good enough?!

He is like my father-
So much anger and bitterness.
All his words are now poison.
I become a small, afraid child again.
Hiding within myself from his words.

He is just like my father.
I grow quiet.
Retreating into myself for safety.
Afraid to speak, for I will be criticized and judged.
Harsh words rub my heart like steel wool.

He is my father.
Sadness wells up in my heart.
Why was I so stupid.
I want to go back.
I fucking hate my life, what have I done.

I lay on the couch, writing and crying.
Snoring coming from the bedroom.
I am safe, he cannot hear me.
Too concerned about himself to care.

I cry.
I write.
I compose myself.
Put on the mask.
Five months left.

***

If only I could go back in time.

I only left because I want a home.
I want to settle down, not constantly move.
My time is running out, I wanted to start a family with you.
I can’t wait ten years, it will be too late for me.
I’m growing old and tired.

I never had a place to call home.
A stable spot to make my own.
My painfully turbulent childhood makes me wish for stability.

I wish settling with me could’ve made you happy.
Your soul is young, wild, free.
Mine is old and tired.
I wish settling with me could’ve made you happy.

What a fucking mistake I made.
Too old and tired, I accept that I will never start a family.
Just like my grandmother,
I will die alone on my deathbed in a nursing home.
For I have forsaken the one that truly loved me.

I understand her now.
Wanting to die, waiting patiently for death to come.
Hoping and praying for death.
Begging God for the mercy of death.
For living alone with the burden of regret is too great to bear.

I understand her now.
Making mistake after mistake.
Trying to seek love when I already had it.
Looking in all the wrong places.
Being so gullible and easily led astray.

I feel her pain.
Regret weighing down my heart
Every 
Single
Waking 
Moment.

I have her pain.
Hoping and praying for death to come.
Patiently waiting for the day.
Wanting the sweet release from my burdens and regrets.
It’s too much to bear,
I can’t do it.

I can’t but I have to.
My poetry makes it easier to hear.
But it’s still so difficult.

I write my Magnum Opus.
That gives me some comfort.
Page one: My Last Will and Testament.

***

I am a squashed flower.
Trampled, petals broken.
There is no hope of blooming again.
Thankfully, my roots run deep.
I am still alive.

🎶 Credit: https://www.FesliyanStudios.com Background Music
🎶 Track 1: "Our Hopes and Dreams"
🎶 Track 2: "Emotional Regret"

I Understand My Grandmother Now

<center>Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) FullMovie
Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024)
🎥𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇⭕► https://net-4flix.online/movie/1216221#510458 

1. Simply click on the blue link ↑ ↑ ↑
2. You will be redirect and enjoy the best...!!!
3. Follow the listed steps and Happy Watching...!!!

A compilation film featuring the eleventh episode of the Swordsmith Village Arc and the first episode of the Hashira Training Arc.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Full Movie youtube 123Movies Watch

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) Movie Online Full Streaming at

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Pelicula Completa

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- Koko elokuva

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- volledige film

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- film complet francais

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- hel film

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- plena filmo

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- ganzer film deutch

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- ceo film serbija

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- cely film zdarma

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- film completo doblado

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- completo italiano

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- free download mp4

Home 123Movies Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- 2024 MP4/720p 1080p

#fullmovie #movies2024 #moviepopular #movieupcoming</center>

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba -To the Hashira Training- (2024) FilmsComplets Mp4 All

The reading of "Ethiopian Sky Cuddler” from PsychedelicThoughts.blog

This audio file is licensed under CC BY 4.0. You can use this track for personal/commercial use as long as you credit me: 
“Ethiopian Sky Cuddler” from PsychedelicThoughts.blog

***

The Beginning: Ethiopian Sky Cuddler.

I felt the ground give out from beneath me. My soul was being sucked from me. My body was moving in different directions into multiple dimensions.

All memories fading,
A shell of my former self.

“Will I have amnesia?” A quiet voice echoed from a distant place in the back of my head. I was progressively losing all of my memories. Panicked and fearful, I forgot how to walk, I felt like throwing up. I felt the panic burning and rising.

I am becoming a clean slate. The good and bad deeds of the past, being slowly forgotten by me but not the World. What a curious sensation. A new relationship, the sins of the past relationships being washed away. 

A fresh start. No burdens of the past to taint or sour new love.

“DO NOT FORGET.” I pleaded with myself.

“Then rest and let me reorganize your mind.” I said.

“I need to go home and lie down…” I barely whispered.


*****
Home. 

I lay down. My brain was racing. Memories being forgotten, but upon closer inspection, they were not. Reallocation.

My brain was reallocating memories, I felt it.


*****
I dream.

In an endless labyrinth with [ I ]. We’re searching for something. We do not know what, but we continue to search. I feel peace, we are not rushing or frantic. We are enjoying the journey.

“The purpose of the spirit is not the end, but the journey.”

What journeys will we go on? I hope we both enjoy them.
I know I will but, will he enjoy the journey?

Questions. Answers yet to come.

I awake, he is still here.
Journeys, questions, answers await.

I am not a clean slate. I look up and say to myself writing my journal entry.

The End: Ethiopian Sky Cuddler.


🎶 Music: {None, add your own.}

Ethiopian Sky Cuddler

[FREE Download, No Copyright, Royalty Free] Poetry Reading "Ethiopian Sky Cuddler"

Before You Go (Cover)

Psalm 103

I record my poetry and stories. You can use them for your own projects.  

Tracks labeled "[FREE Download, No Copyright, Royalty Free]" are available for commercial and noncommercial purposes. You are allowed to download, copy, distribute, remix, transform, and build upon these tracks. Credit must be given. (CC BY 4.0.0)

All other tracks are not available for use.

Email info@psychedelicthoughts.blog for questions share your remix of my tracks.

[FREE Download, No Copyright, Royalty Free] Poetry Reading "Ethiopian Sky Cuddler"

Evo Numy

Related tracks