new drop x no p0le (xxtristanxo remix)

kino - pack of cigarettes (outro + slowed)

Homecoming

one winged angel (feat. ethel cain)

a lot of the lyrics from these demos got shuffled around until they found their homes. i wrote all three versions of this song in the same day and picked my favorite version two years later while finishing the record. it wound up being the simplest version in the end, but i think these two versions elaborate a little more on the story. that might be why i avoided them, thinking they were too on the nose idk. i like all three versions a lot. 

lyrics:

18
what now
shoot me down, i’m wide open 
looking for answers
in the county police scanner
and there goes one more of your friends
all grown up
graduate
from green to white and white to the grave
we’ll be fine
lock ourselves inside
and blame this on what someone else did
on something we saw back when we were kids
on anything we don’t mind losing

you ain’t scared of no knock on the door
it’s what’s on this side you find frightening 
no, you ain’t scared but you still make sure you lock the door
before you come back to bed with me

all my gods are dead
from things i thought looked cool
but cool is only cool until you’re gone
you are going to do
what you were always going to
but did you have to egg the needle on
dark house and covered windows
not everything is something i should know
it’s you and me here, left out of the fold
i’ll still love you when your body’s cold 

you ain’t scared of no knock on the door
it’s what’s on this side you find frightening 
no, you ain’t scared but you still make sure you lock the door
before you come back to bed with me
just come back to bed with me
just come back to bed with me


a knock at the door (demo I)

originally wanted to leave the ocarina of time melody in there but im terrified of nintendo suing me

lyrics:

then there was you
then there was you
then there was you
then there was you

willoughby's interlude (demo)

2023 was a rough year

lyrics:

we were in a race to grow up
yesterday, through today, til tomorrow
but when the plant blew up
a piece of shrapnel flew and slowed that part of you
the doctors gave you until the end of the night
but not til daylight
time passes slower in the flicker of a hospital light
i pray the race is worth the fight

made a fool of myself down on Tennessee street
it wasn’t pretty like the movies, it was ugly like what they all did to me 
and they did to me what i wouldn’t do to anyone
you know that’s for sure

tell me all the time not to worry
and think of all the time i’ll have with you
when i won’t wake up on my own
(wake up on my own)
held close all the time knowing i’m half of you

i dreamt the earth broke open
and the beast crawled out
snuck into bed with me
and left with you in its mouth
then it was i left screaming
i weep for you
i weep for you

i only like my body when it's closely with your body
lay in you gently 
like greenery that stings me
softly hurting

tell me all the time not to worry
and think of all the time i’ll have with you
when i won’t wake up on my own
(wake up on my own)
held close all the time knowing i’m half of you
think of us inside after the wedding
suffering the while to lie a time or two
when we don’t wake up on our own
(wake up on our own)
held close all the time knowing
this was all for you 


hope

pulpas