LIFE it rules but it also kinda SUCKS
But you wanna stick around because it’s fun to do STUFF
If only you could rid yourself of all your enemies
Well have I got news for your my friend it’s simpler than it seems

Now you could talk it out and be real polite
Or you could slap em with a glove get in a fancy fight
But if ya wanna keep proceedings clean n fast
I got a pitch, ready for this?
POISON THEIR ASS

Take any recipe, add a drop of me
Round out your four course meal with a fatality
Bottom’s up but oh oh! your time is too!
When they take a little sip of my Bye Bye Juice

A toxic cocktail, an insidious blend
Gently stirred, quickly served for a premature end
Drop drop in the goblet then a couple drops more
They give it a swig, tick tock, bodies hittin the floor

Knock knock, it’s the landlord lookin for rent
And now that arsenic you bought seems like money well spent
Drop drop, "Come on in, grab a beer, help yourself!"
GOOD LUCK EVICTING ME WHEN YOU’RE BURNIN IN HELL

When your dentist tells you ya eat too many sweets
Or somebody at the movie’s like “I’m saving these seats”
Anybody on the road who doesn’t know to use their blinker
Keep it up and get a taste of what I been keepin in my tincture

Now let’s say ya got a list of people making ya pissed
Have ‘em over for some drinks, say Sierra Mist,
Clink clink, raise a glass, here’s to you everyone!
Just be sure to dig some graves, ya gonna need em, son!

A toxic cocktail an insidious blend
Gently stirred, quickly served for a premature end
So play nice, be a pal, refrain from showin your ass
Or you might just be the next one sippin your last

We’re the Bye Bye Brothers and we came to say
If anybody asks you didn't see us here today
When it comes to petty murder we are simply the best
But there are several warrants out for our arrest

Bye Bye Juice

Wakin up in the mornin
Drag your ass on outta the bed
Got a little somethin somethin
A-thump a-thumpin up in your head
Your ass is all clammy
Spots poppin up a freaky color of red
Catch yourself in the mirror
Lookin only slightly better than dead

You vomit, brush your teeth
And then you vomit once more
Then drain all of the fluid
From your freshly sprouted sores
Thermometer is tellin you
One hundred and four (THAT'S HOT!)
My dude you’re on your way
To rap-a-tap-a-tappin at death’s door

You got the pox!
Uh oh! Oh no no no
Not sure how best to console ya
But ya got the variola 
And you’ll probably die
But hey
On the bright side
You got a couple new friends
Who will be with you til the end
Count on us 
Scabs n pus

People can go viral 
In a myriad of ways
Unboxing vids, getting kicked in the nuts
Or tweetin shitty takes
But you picked the one that’ll leave you dead in 
Seven to seventeen days
Tis the reason for your lesions
And excruciating pains

You got the pox!
Whoops, yep you do— 
And if you think you’ve had enough then
Just wait til those blisters slough and
Sure you’ll probably die
But hey
On the bright side
You got a couple new friends
Who will be with you til the end
Count on us 
Scabs n pus
Look at us
Scabs n pus

You Got The Pox!

Well there ain’t no better way to
Pass the tick tick tickin of the unrelenting march of time
Then flip flip flippin through a book like me
Why don’t ya crack my achin spine
Ya never know
Whatcha gonna find

You can study astrophysics or ontology,
The migratory paths of albacore,
Can even master twenty languages and still have room
For every detail of the Punic Wars
You’d be surprised
Whatcha can fit in your mind

Go on and jot a couple notes about the Tundra stoat
Or the roamin’ of magnetic poles
Or bout how long it’d take a crusty ol Tyrannosaur
To digest your learned body whole :'(
How bout a chapter on the history of cobalt blue,
Or the spores of the Wattieza tree,
Or how ol’ Frank Hayes won a steeplechase
Back in 1923
You’ll never grow just knowin
Whatcha already know  

Read, please
I beg you to appease
Every single little itchin
Curiosity
Cmon n gimme a leaf

Well you can read so much that you can spout
All hundred fifty four of ol’ Bill’s sonnets off the top of your head
And you can read so much the cowards
Of this world will hunt you down and lock you up til they shoot you dead

In any case
It’s nice to be well-read
(BOOKS)

Read, Please

Ron Weasley (Joey Richter) takes center stage as he sings about how he gets unnoticed.

Read, Please

Puppet History