I used to spend my holidays alone
An anthropomorphic oar, pretty bored
Sittin inside of his home, oh no

But then you met me, and I suggested we
Go on a little holiday trip, really quick
And we went down to the Bahamas for a dip
And we just kept going

Christmas can be every day
When you’re travelin' the world and you’re an oar and you’re gay
We ate tangerines in Tokyo
Then caught a flight to Borneo
And spent a day in Rekjavik
The hot dogs there were pretty sick

Every trip ya take is a gift
When you love the livin' hell out of the one that you’re with
We’ve been to Bangalore
and BogoTA
Had onion rings in Omaha

Got high as hell in Amsterdam
And ate up all our Christmas ham

God damn that was a damn good ham

And now the future that we make is our own
Close your eyes and throw a dart at the map, and that’s that,
Off to destinations unknown
I hope wherever we go has more ham

Travelin’s such a wonderful ride
But it’d be a drag without you here at my side
Why don’t we stop for brunch in Saskatoon
Namibia to see some dunes
Chicago just to peep the bean
And also bone beneath the bean

Antarctica if we’ve got time
I hear that France has decent wine
To London when the tea is served
And maybe skip St. Petersburg

Hey what’s the deal with Idaho?
Like should we bother? I dunno.
Singapore or Bora Bora?
Either, oar, cause I adore ya

Either Oar

Livin in France
Out in le country
A little more limited menu than you see in Paris

Got no filet mignon
Got no boeuf bourguignon
No bouillabaisse or creme brûlée or charcuterie

Ahh but when the pangs of hunger
howling in the gut grow stronger
Fangs come out and then I long to
MUNCH ON THE TERRIFIED FRENCH

French HEADS, I’m eatin’ em nightly
Bon apetite mon frère, no need to heat I’ll eat ‘em rare

French HEADS, season ‘em lightly
A bordelaise for Claire, a pinch of pepper on Pierre

HOWLS

Call me beast
Call me a monster
Just don’t call me late when a tasty young shepherd’s in the meadow alone

Go on and shame me
Ah but ya made me
It’s whatcha get when you’re hangin with a wolf in the quiet low valleys of the ecotone

Ahhh I realize it’s reckless
But this wolfy’s feeling peckish
If you don’t protect your neck it’s
CHOMP CHOMP AU REVOIR! Ha ha ha ha

French heads, they’re oh so yummy
Paprika dusted on Denis, a side of skewered Genevieve

French heads, in my tummy
As for below the neck, no thanks
I’m good
I’ll take the check PLEASE

French Heads

LIFE it rules but it also kinda SUCKS
But you wanna stick around because it’s fun to do STUFF
If only you could rid yourself of all your enemies
Well have I got news for your my friend it’s simpler than it seems

Now you could talk it out and be real polite
Or you could slap em with a glove get in a fancy fight
But if ya wanna keep proceedings clean n fast
I got a pitch, ready for this?
POISON THEIR ASS

Take any recipe, add a drop of me
Round out your four course meal with a fatality
Bottom’s up but oh oh! your time is too!
When they take a little sip of my Bye Bye Juice

A toxic cocktail, an insidious blend
Gently stirred, quickly served for a premature end
Drop drop in the goblet then a couple drops more
They give it a swig, tick tock, bodies hittin the floor

Knock knock, it’s the landlord lookin for rent
And now that arsenic you bought seems like money well spent
Drop drop, "Come on in, grab a beer, help yourself!"
GOOD LUCK EVICTING ME WHEN YOU’RE BURNIN IN HELL

When your dentist tells you ya eat too many sweets
Or somebody at the movie’s like “I’m saving these seats”
Anybody on the road who doesn’t know to use their blinker
Keep it up and get a taste of what I been keepin in my tincture

Now let’s say ya got a list of people making ya pissed
Have ‘em over for some drinks, say Sierra Mist,
Clink clink, raise a glass, here’s to you everyone!
Just be sure to dig some graves, ya gonna need em, son!

A toxic cocktail an insidious blend
Gently stirred, quickly served for a premature end
So play nice, be a pal, refrain from showin your ass
Or you might just be the next one sippin your last

We’re the Bye Bye Brothers and we came to say
If anybody asks you didn't see us here today
When it comes to petty murder we are simply the best
But there are several warrants out for our arrest

Bye Bye Juice

Bah Humbug!

Hologram Professor Song - Puppet History

Prototype Instrument #73 Song - Puppet History Season 6

Hippodrome Song - Puppet History Season 6

(14) Backfire (Firebringer)

Holy Musical B@man!

Choo choo
I'm a train!
Choo choo
This is the song I sing!
Choo choo
All abooooooard!

Y’know it sucks to be a train
Luggin' normie losers through the cold and the rain
Same path, same track, same route
The monotony’s enough to make a choo choo POUT!

But then one day you catch a break
Gonna take a VIP to the Old Line State
Uh, who me? Yes you. But who?
Well I’ll tell you who-
The soon-to-be president of the
UUUUUUnited states.
They call him honest Abe.
He’s got a funny little beard
And he’s lanky and weird
But he sure knows just the words to say

But then some racist dipshits	
Took out a hit and chose to sit and wait-
For the man they call Abe
And robbed this lonely locomotive of a real exciting day

And then all of my choo choos
Turned into nothin but boohoos!

Boo hoo
Choo
Choo choo
Boo choo hoo hoo
Boo Hoo!
Choo boo hoo
Boo hoo hoo
Choo choo hoo
Boo hoo
Choo choo

Chugga Chugga Boo Hoo

We were in love once
Oar, weren’t we?
Dipped into the sea
Just you and me
Wading in harmony

We were were in love once
Oar weren’t we
But now I’m a sword you see
Me and Musashi
Boy we make ‘em bleed

I long for the days our heads dunked under waves
How we splashed and we smooched , oh remember?

Well now I’m a blade and the one thing I crave
Is to slash and to swoosh and dismember

We’re meant to be, Oar
Or are we?

Now this samurai’s cuttin me/you down to size
We must be denser than wood to not realize

We just can’t be, Oar
Or can we?

It’s pretty clear to me, you’d rather be weaponry
You’re spillin’ gore on the shore and I’m lost at sea

Gore On The Shore

Puppet History