Well I spent a Sunday shopping with my friend the lion tamer
Even though she snogged me nan
Then we popped into a shop 'n' met a baby named Magellan
Who was very, very tan

Magellan sold us boots and then he turned into a spider
Said that life is but a dream
Then he asked us for our emails
And he sent along an e-vite to his uncle’s (35th) sweet sixteen

Ding dang dong
This is the greatest song your pretty ears have surely ever heard
I drank some wine and fell asleep and when I woke I realized my brilliant brain had dreamt up all the words

Magellan’s uncle was a senator from Gary Indiana
Named Elroy Squirt III
He was confused about his nephew being turnt into a spider
So he asked what had occurred

Tried to reply but got distracted when the lion tamer
Put her tongue in Elroy’s left-most ear
Thank the lord me dear old nan weren’t at the party for this man
Because she’d surely shed a tear

Ding dang dong
This is the greatest love song your pretty ears have surely ever heard
Have you ever been regaled with as romantic of a tale as that of Elroy Squirt III
And the lion tamer and Magellan what a story so compellin'
Even if that spiderboy was far too tan

Elroy Squirt III

I hate to tell ya, my fine equine
But it’s lookin like your number's up
I know you’d love to stay around a-just a-little bit a-longer
But your lungs are full of sticky muck

So take a gallop with me toward eternity
Forget about your earthly plight!
And put one hoof
in front of the other
in front of the other
in front of the other
And clip clop into the light 

[LOST VERSE (a little rough)
I know you’ll miss this place
And all the things that made you you
But uh, I don’t mean to harp on it
You were the you that also drowned in goo

So give it up my friend, congrats on meeting your end
No other options try as you might
But put one hoof
in front of the other
in front of the other
in front of the other
And clip clop into the light]

(Interlude)

I hope my wife died too, so I can see her soon
And smooch her spooky horse-ghost lips
And stare into her gorgeous fucked-up oblong horsey pupils
As we drift into the vast abyss

I guess I’m ready to go into the great unknown
(It seems you’re ready to go into the great unknown)
It’s been a lovely horsey life
I’ll put one hoof in front of the other in front of the other
(Ya put one hoof in front of the other in front of the other)
And clip clop into the light!

*VOOM! PLOINK!*

Clip Clop Into The Light

A stone’s throw west of nowhere
They've got a golden crop they tend to grow there
Well it’s the sweetest treat
a six foot bird could ever eat
We’ll risk our necks
For a couple more pecks
Of your worthless wheat

Put up a fence and try to keep us out
We’ll plow right through it with balletic leaps and bounds
There’s no defense you’re raisin'
That’ll stop us from our grazin'
There's piles of wheat for
Em-you and me!

No pain, no grain
That’s the name of the game
We choose to chew
That’s how emu do
We snack, they attack
We run away then come right back
Try to kill me I dare you
Do it
DO IT

Shoot us,
Pursue us,
You can drive a truck right through us!
Riddle us with bullets
As we stuff our skinny gullets
Pop a slug right in my skull!
But not until my belly’s full
Kill my family, merc my friends
But the buffet will never end

And I commend you blokes for tryin'
But we simply have no fear of dyin’
It’s agricultural plunder
Until we’re six feet down under

One more time for all our dead rotting friends!

Shoot us,
Pursue us,
You can drive a truck right through us,
(No pain, no grain!)
Pump us full of lead
But make sure you aim for our wobbly heads
(We choose to chew)
There's pile of wheat for em-yooou and me!

Six Feet Down Under

Wakin up in the mornin
Drag your ass on outta the bed
Got a little somethin somethin
A-thump a-thumpin up in your head
Your ass is all clammy
Spots poppin up a freaky color of red
Catch yourself in the mirror
Lookin only slightly better than dead

You vomit, brush your teeth
And then you vomit once more
Then drain all of the fluid
From your freshly sprouted sores
Thermometer is tellin you
One hundred and four (THAT'S HOT!)
My dude you’re on your way
To rap-a-tap-a-tappin at death’s door

You got the pox!
Uh oh! Oh no no no
Not sure how best to console ya
But ya got the variola 
And you’ll probably die
But hey
On the bright side
You got a couple new friends
Who will be with you til the end
Count on us 
Scabs n pus

People can go viral 
In a myriad of ways
Unboxing vids, getting kicked in the nuts
Or tweetin shitty takes
But you picked the one that’ll leave you dead in 
Seven to seventeen days
Tis the reason for your lesions
And excruciating pains

You got the pox!
Whoops, yep you do— 
And if you think you’ve had enough then
Just wait til those blisters slough and
Sure you’ll probably die
But hey
On the bright side
You got a couple new friends
Who will be with you til the end
Count on us 
Scabs n pus
Look at us
Scabs n pus

You Got The Pox!

Meteorite Song - Puppet History

Window Song - Puppet History Season 5

Prototype Instrument #73 Song - Puppet History Season 6

Hippodrome Song - Puppet History Season 6

Finale (A Thousand And One Nights Reprise) - Twisted (Starkid)

The Dynamic Duet

We were in love once
Oar, weren’t we?
Dipped into the sea
Just you and me
Wading in harmony

We were were in love once
Oar weren’t we
But now I’m a sword you see
Me and Musashi
Boy we make ‘em bleed

I long for the days our heads dunked under waves
How we splashed and we smooched , oh remember?

Well now I’m a blade and the one thing I crave
Is to slash and to swoosh and dismember

We’re meant to be, Oar
Or are we?

Now this samurai’s cuttin me/you down to size
We must be denser than wood to not realize

We just can’t be, Oar
Or can we?

It’s pretty clear to me, you’d rather be weaponry
You’re spillin’ gore on the shore and I’m lost at sea

Gore On The Shore

Puppet History