It’s a good gig, bein' a snowman
They roll me up every year
Look at that little funny carrot nose
It brings folks so much cheer!

But the thing that makes me special
A little secret all of my own
I’m the only man of snow I know who’s full of other people’s bones

Y’know I’m not too sure how it got its name
But Donner Lake’s a beautiful scene
In fact I’m not too sure of plenty other things
Like where I got these fancy spleens

I guess some snow’s just gory
Which is why I’m so unique
I’m the only man of snow I know who’s got a couple sets of teeth

CHATTER WITH ME.

A snowman is a wish you make with winter’s heart
Speaking of hearts I’m packin' five a those, eleven toes, eight clavicles, how magical!

And when the spring brings the warming sun
Be sure to watch your step on your mornin run
Cause I’m the only man of snow I know who’s got somebody else’s tongue

Bring it home

I’m the only man of snow I know who’s full of other people’s bOWNEZ!

Snow Bones About It

So this Christmas
You wanna get em
Somethin sweet and sentimental

Aren’t you precious
And so thoughtful
So very nice

But lemme pitch you this
Instead of worthless shit
Maybe take the hit
And dip
Into those savings for a little
somethin priceeeeyyyyyyy

Gucci, Rolex, Tiffany
A rare illegal foreign cheese
I’ll buy you shit that’ll make you scream
Make your real life feel like a holiday dream

You want a yacht okay why not
A taxidermied ocelot
Armani, Prada, and Dior
Anything you want, I’ll wrap it up, it’s yours

This Christmas! Gonna spend every DIME
Because the finest gifts are
ONE YOU FIND ON A SHELF

This Christmas! Ain’t wasting my TIME
Tryin to read your mind and make you something myself

(Wailing)
This Christmaaaaaas!

This Christmaaaaaas!

Love on a Shelf

This Christmas
My wishlist
Isn’t so much about the gettin
But the hope that I can give

Saint Nicholas
A gift that
Let’s him know how much we love him
If in fact he ever really even lived

Santa Claus, you are magic, but you also maybe weren’t real
And you slapped that guy
Who maybe shit himself to death, look it up
We didn’t cover it
But he allegedly shit himself to death
Here’s a drawing 

Santa Claus!
You saved the pickle boys
And did a bunch of other stuff
And now you’re bones
But even bones deserve some love
So here’s a song
From me to you
Santa Claus

You… you look like you want to sing?
Do you want to sing?

Thanks Professor for that sweet, sweet song
I was a real sourpuss but now I see that I’m wrong

The holiday season’s not the time for holding grudges
It’s a time for giving gifts and eatin cheese and tasty fudges

I’m ol’ Saint Nick and I’m here to say
I used to be a bishop but I’m bones today

Every year I bring joys and toys to kids
But frankly there’s lots of other things I did


Saint Nicholas saved the pickle boys
Ain’t ya heard? I saved the pickle boys
Sounds absurd n far fetched but you sure as shit can bet
That Saint Nicholas saved the pickle boys

Now what’d I do?
You save the pickle boys
The pickle who?
The pickle boys?
Who killed the butcher too?
Wait did you kill that butcher?

Ladies and gentlemen- recently barreled by a psychotic butcher
But resurrected by the clown prince of Christmas aka ME
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR
THE PICKLE BOYYYYYS

Song For Santa

Hologram Professor Song - Puppet History

Meteorite Song - Puppet History

Window Song - Puppet History Season 5

Prototype Instrument #73 Song - Puppet History Season 6

Hippodrome Song - Puppet History Season 6

[With special thanks to DJ Tubbs for the backing vocals.]

It’s lookin' like I've had enough
Tried the best I can but I don’t got the stuff
I got shot by the Chili Pope ):

It’s easy livin' as a french fry
I'm critically acclaimed but now it’s time to die
Frankly, life’s been pretty dope

It’s been a long hard road for a french fries and corn to walk down
Who coulda ever known the road would lead to
You and me and Soup and Goondis
Takin' on the galaxy

I know that life is crazy
But believe me, Maizey
You’ll be fine without me here

I mean I’m just a funny french fries
There’s really no need to cry
Even though I’m so revered

Was livin' lonely in a future state
Traveled back in time and met my foodie mates
Most of them were witch holograms

The story gets a little dense from there
But if you got a brain it’s pretty crystal clear
Here check out this diagram

See a wedding fell into a witch volcano
Then we scrammed and then we landed
On the planet on the plupples, etc.

And now we’re travelin' to the past
To save our friends and kick some ass

I know that things seem kinda shitty
And that the odds aren’t lookin' pretty but
What's the point of quittin' now
 
And I won’t be here to see it
But you bet your ass that I believe that
You’ll still save the day somehow

The end is comin', gonna punch my mortal ticket
If I had a fuckin' bucket then I got a hunch I'd kick it
And I’m sorry for the cursin' but I’m
Feelin worse and worse and I don’t...

I don't wanna die.

I know it might sound crazy
But believe me, Maizey
You’ll be fine without me here

And it’s lookin' like this french fry’s gonna
Take his bow in this Hot Daga
I’m dying now, just so we’re clear

I’ll see ya later pals, I’m outta here

It’s been a treat

I think I see Smeech

Believe Me, Maizey

We were in love once
Oar, weren’t we?
Dipped into the sea
Just you and me
Wading in harmony

We were were in love once
Oar weren’t we
But now I’m a sword you see
Me and Musashi
Boy we make ‘em bleed

I long for the days our heads dunked under waves
How we splashed and we smooched , oh remember?

Well now I’m a blade and the one thing I crave
Is to slash and to swoosh and dismember

We’re meant to be, Oar
Or are we?

Now this samurai’s cuttin me/you down to size
We must be denser than wood to not realize

We just can’t be, Oar
Or can we?

It’s pretty clear to me, you’d rather be weaponry
You’re spillin’ gore on the shore and I’m lost at sea