wow your voice sound like Matt Beringer somehow... the track also share some strong "The National" vibes and still unqiue

a song about a woman who became a mother when she was a young teen, and ended up a single mum. this is the dialogue between her and a childless friend, who, as she sees it at first, is still free to "have fun", and "be childlike". there's envy and unresolved resistance towards her own situation, her own life. she is bemoaning the fact that she cannot find a man ("all the good fruits are plucked, and the ones left are rotten in their core...") but at the end of the song we hear how she realises the richness of her life: "see how rich I am still.." etc. it was fun to use this piece of dialogue from an unfinished short story of mine and turn it in to a song. as always, the lyrics and melody fitted effortlessly together, as things do when you are in the flow.

lyrics and melody by niamh mckinney 
accompaniment by steve mckinney

"It's all right for you", she said,
"you don't know what it's like to have kids so young,
I've never really lived,
And the sun, now it shines so strong,
And I'm pale and blinking here in the light,
I'm left here thinking about a life
I've never lived
Don't know what freedom is...

Don't know what freedom is
I only got freedom from childhood
And then had my kids
Don't know your kind of point of view
Can't see things unclouded like you seem to do.
Everyone's oasis..
All the good fruits are plucked
And the ones left are rotten in their core
You know you can't take from this place,
You can't take from this place any more

You are free to be so childlike
You can't see it's a damn luxury
Soon as you fill their bellies they're empty
And when they sleep
You don't know what to do with yourself
You're all frayed edges and indecision
Used up and unused at the same time
Only the walls to climb
Only the creak of time"

Chorus

"You've picked your poison, my misery guts," 
I said, "No going back, 
down it now and forget it.
You think you're a fly in the face of life
And it keeps batting you away.
Yesterday's sorrows have been wanting to die
And you've been keeping them alive
Not sure who that could serve.
You're not undeserving"

"No room for artifice any more
Just leave your facade right there at the door
Having them made me really real
Can't really deal with pretence any more
I take some for me and mine and run
Not been living under the sun among everyone 
See how rich I am still 
With everything taken away..."

DAMN LUXURY

TRUTH & DRAGONS

Illusion

This thing fought me every step of the way.  Through a mushroom trip, stomach upset, hate, love and ghosts in my automation lanes.

Clearly owes a lot to Pretty Hate Machine.

(Special thanks to Grandbrother for support & the first line)

Lyrics:

I tried to trust you
But fangs are for incisions
I think you know 
I'm programmed for bad decisions

Am I awake
I feel I must be dreaming
Are you real
Or simple simply scheming

You turn on and off and on a million times a minute
What you haven't noticed is my patience has a limit

(it's time for you to disconnect me)

Take me offline
Bad time sunshine

I am the fly 
Caught up in your machinery
I see you smile
And disappear into the scenery

You've got me pinned
Now it's clear what you're intending
A sparkly void
where the pain is neverending

You turn on and off and on a million times a minute
What you haven't noticed is my patience has a limit

You're content to watch me dance around at your insistence
I invite you all to watch my act of last resistance

(Its time for you to disconnect me)

Take me offline
Bad time sunshine

Offline

free download available here! ~ https://selfloveclub.bandcamp.com/track/lay-it-all-on-me

Lay It All On Me

Lyrics:

You called me a thief and it made me so sad
Cos you stole almost everything that I ever had
Now call me a liar and I'll point you the way
To every time that you begged me to stay

So long
Now I have finally gone
Back to where I once belonged
Can you not see it's so wrong to leave me on my own?

Lend me your ear and I'll tell you a tale
Of all the times I've put my soul up for sale
The devil will push with his venomous hands
But the lord will embrace you cos you're in his plans

So behave
The future belongs to the brave
And your present is too precious to save
So be here from the cradle to the grave
And I'll be by your side

I am blessed
To be a part of this eternal quest
Where I'm no more than a speck at best
And I know I'm only a guest in the house of the lord

Credits:
Written by: Dan Caleb
Producer: Andy Hepburn
Lead Guitar: Georgia Maria
Bass: Roy Lubugumu
Drums: Adrien Latgé
Recording Engineers: Dax Liniere & Julien Baraness
Mastering Engineer: Pete Maher
Cover Art: Luke Williams

I'm Only a Guest in the House of the Lord

This song was written when I heard the news that my sister was diagnosed with cancer. I was in another country cycling and so far away from home.  Knowing what is up ahead, trying to bury it but there is no escaping it.

Goodbye

QDpie <3

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