Untitled Playlist

it's hard to be in another's shadow
stuck in the lime light again
can you ever get past them
 your spot light waits in vain   
                                                                                              Its hard to be a famous man's daughter
 people love you but not for why they alter 
 they want a bit of his fame
 they feel special but you don't feel the same

does your a pretty  daughter 
 she makes you feel old and plain
mirror mirror  you  just got older
when will you be  beautiful again
                                          
OR SO THEY SAY       
 that's what they say

its  hard to be Cinderella  stepsister
when you wanted to marry the princes to
 why can't you have a happy ending 
 NO GOLDEN SLIPER FOR YOU
                                        

its hard to be a WALL FLOWER   
to be no one special at all
watching others dance 
with the prince at the ball

Fame

the blood
in my veins 
suddenly runs cold
as liquid nitrogen
to see

my love
run away
leaving me alone
as if the light's broken
in me

unfaithful

lover
i discovered 
you ain’t true

i so loved you
i loved you so 
thought
i used to know
the truth of you

you’re just a lie

you’re just a lie

the trust that i 

entrusted you with…
it dies

it dies
you know it dies 
it all dies

in another’s bed
in another’s arms
it all dies

in another’s bed
in another’s arms

it all dies

it all dies

unfaithful

A chilling descent into madness and destruction, this song explores the perspective of a true antagonist—an embodiment of chaos and war. With haunting lyrics and a relentless intensity, it captures the moment where light fades, hope shatters, and a darker nature takes hold. This is the first draft of an idea, balancing between the hero arc and the path of a pure villain. In this alternate world, redemption isn’t just out of reach—it’s never an option.

[Intro: Villain's Genesis]
They built me from the rubble,
Gave my grief a sharper edge.
Taught me to trade my tears for trouble,
To bleed revenge until the end.

The faces of the dead,
Burned into my restless mind.
Every whispered word they said
Turned my heart to a blade in time.

I was their perfect child of war,
But I wanted so much more.

[Verse 1: The Beginning of Madness]
They lit the sky with fire,
Tore apart my world at eleven years old.
A spark became a pyre,
And the flames became my only home.

I carried their names,
Clawed through shadows just to feel alive.
But somewhere in my veins,
The fire whispered, “Take, don’t survive.”

[Chorus 1: Obsession Takes Hold]
Shadows of the blame,
Dancing where the truth won’t remain.
I fought for vengeance, chased the rain,
But the storm was born of a lie.
Shadows of the blame,
Now I’m haunted by the faces and names,
They scream, “Let the world feel your pain—
Make them all remember your name.”

[Verse 2: Losing Grip on Reality]
Every night, the fire grows louder,
Its heat a comfort in my fractured mind.
It whispers, “Make them cower,
Show them the justice they’ll never find.”

I see ghosts in every mirror,
Their voices drown out all my screams.
Their faces grow clearer,
Until I don’t know who’s haunting my dreams.

[Chorus 2: Darkness Consumes Her]
Shadows of the blame,
Echoes in a world that’s insane.
The lies I fought now run through my veins,
And the truth is a distant cry.
Shadows of the blame,
Twisting every thought in my brain.
If justice won’t come, let it all be in vain—
The fire’s the only thing keeping me sane.

[Bridge: Full Descent into Madness]
I tried to hold the light,
But it slipped through cracks in my soul.
Now I crave the night,
The chaos fills what the truth stole.

There’s no more mercy,
No more hope, no room for doubt.
The child they broke is gone,
Now there’s only flames to pour out.

If the world is built on lies,
Then I’ll tear it apart before I die.

[Outro: Surrender to Destruction]
Now the sky’s on fire,
And I’ve become the storm they fear.
A goddess of ruin, climbing higher,
Feeding on the screams I hear.

So let the world burn,
Let the oceans boil, let the cities fall.
For the truth they made me learn
Left no mercy in me at all.

Shadows of the blame,
I wear them like a crown of shame.
I’ll drown their lies in endless flames,
And carve my vengeance in their name.

The embers in my mind,
Are all that’s left of humankind.
No justice, no peace,
Only madness released.

And as they scream,
I’ll smile at the infernal gleam.
For in this fire,
I’ve found my twisted dream.

Outro:
"Now the sky’s on fire, and I’ve become the storm they fear. The embers in my mind are all that’s left of humankind. No justice, no peace, only madness released. For in this fire, I’ve found my twisted dream. I am war."

Shadows of the Blame

Shadows Of The Blame (A Ballad Of Madness And Betrayal)

Long time no see. Since I decided to make a career move, things have been too  hectic(^_^;
Now that I settled down in new workplace, I began to record one-man band again!
I wrote this song for my own band, and played sometimes in venues.
I completed the song here for SC.
Bass solo is always challenging for me, but I enjoyed very much(^_^)

FUNK THE DEVIL

Rob Bailey & The Hustle Standard_NEVER GIVE A FXCK (2015)

#guilt #songwriter #womansongwriter #indie #folkpop 

What can I say?
What can I say ?
About . . . 
Guilt. (Guilt) 
Guilt. 
can I say?
(Can I say?)

I knew a guy who had a license plate 
that read ‘No Guilt.’
He was guilty of many bad deeds
But clearly he didn’t notice, (he didn’t mind)
Not as I carry mine.
I’ve admitted to things I didn’t do 
just to stop the noise
Make everyone shut up. And just go away.
It’s almost easier to take the blame than listen to them whine
But….but…
You start to believe it…

What can I say?
What can I say ?
About . . . 
Guilt, like its birth, changes over time
Molds. Lingers. Solidifies
rips at my bones
Like a drunk gnawing ribs
In a bar after midnight
Guilt tears through my soul 
When all I did was try to love you
I tried to love you.

I woke up at 3 a.m. thinking about our talk
Words spun around my head
Guilty for being alive. Being a mistake. 
Guilt for breathing. For taking up space.
I did things
I did things…
Some I’m not proud of
But some I did to survive
When all I was trying to do was love you. 
Love you. Love you.

What can I say?
What can I say ?
About . . . 
Guilt runs though my blood like cream
Thick. light. whips up right
On berries, it is just divine 

Guilt, like the years, changes over time
Lingers. Molds. Solidifies.
Guilt tears through my soul 
As i drunk danced with you 
Twirling in my daze
Alone even in a crowd
You laughed ‘No Guilt! 
And danced away (away)

What can I say?
What can I say ?
About . . . 
guilt
Never enough (guilt)
I know
Never enough (guilt)
To satiate
The beast inside
Seeking reprieve 
Seeking remorse
Seeking vengeance 
Seeking just
To stay alive (guilt)
Alive alive 
Guilt
Guilt

what can i say…about guilt

Heat

Frank and Hilma, we hold you close

July 17,2025

Recorded at
old man yells at cloud studios 
a song by Cole Coldheart 

Painting by
Nancy Ferguson 
Untitled #1

The only one

I am the bottle 
You’ve been craving
I am what you’ve 
Left unprepared 

I am what you
Could only get 
Through stealing
I am what you
Have never dared

I am what you fear
When yer failing
I am what you 
Hope to become 

I am the only one 
Worth saving
I am the only one
            
Part II
     Yer one 
     Of many crows
     Caught feeding 
     You take what you
     Cannot provide

     You probe fer
     Weakness that’s revealing 
     Then shove yer beak
     Deep inside

the only one

Alice

You betrayed me after everything, you lied, twisted the truth, and stabbed me in the back. This song is for you. Every note bleeds the pain of trust broken, secrets revealed, and loyalty shattered. For everyone who’s ever been used, hurt, or left behind by the one they trusted most: press play. “Betrayer (J.a.C)” is my truth. No one will ever know, but you know. You’re watching me. You keep watching and haunting me. I’m still here.

Betrayer (j.a.c)

Hilma Hilma three years old.

The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack

Life Is Beautiful ((2017 Version))

Jerry Reed- I have his autograph on my old Takemine that is just about faded out.  Jerry was just inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame this year.  Love this man and his music.  I have tried to play his claw type of fingerpicking, but it is so difficult and so many types of tuning.   I dropped my guitar down 1/2 step and played in drop D tuning.  The best I can do is to try and capture a little of his style

500 Miles (Cover of Jerry Reed)

Atlas Falls

20/20

Scars (2020)

🌟 **Join Me on This Musical Journey!** 🌟  
I'm open to collaboration, just reach out via e-mail. I create all my music. I write it, mix it, run it through several systems, and if the voice isn't mine, it's created by me and trained. I have taught myself how to mix through audacity, and soundtrap, etc and still learning. I have been coding since I was 11 years old, writing since about 5 years old, telling stories since I was two and singing since I was 4. I can sight read, read and badly notate music, and play the piano. I'm teaching myself how to play the drums right now. 

In the next few weeks I’ll be reworking SoundCloud. Enjoy the songs. I’ll be slowing down the music process to 1 song to 2 songs per week now. I will start to transition the current songs to other platforms for easier listening. If anyone has favs they want available earlier, let me know. Enjoy!

Listen to my music. 
I'm a traveler of Worlds. 
Creator of realms, and storyteller at heart. 

Never stop dreaming, never stop laughing, and never stop listening. 
Always do your own research. 

I stand for unity and chilling out with as many people with like-minded vibes as I can.  

In my free time I like to hang out in my mind and create stories about other Worlds, mainly involving complicated time travel nonlinear plots. Wanna know my story? 
Just ask me? 


My songs are my journal, and an open music lab experiment. I need to make music to not be depressed and go into dark, dark places. It's like water for me. 

Feel free to share here, but if you use it for nefarious purposes, well I believe in karma . Peace out, and see you soon. 

Enjoy and never forget, question everything!

PS - Cat lover forever (Yes, I'm a F'ing cat lady Mr. Vance, what are you gonna do about it now?)

Shadows Of The Blame (A Ballad Of Madness And Betrayal)

Quantum Lyricist

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