[Intro]
Tell me the truth…
Was I toxic?
Or did I just stay way too long in something that was killing me slowly?
You ever hold poison thinking it was medicine?
Yeah, that was me.

[Verse 1]
Was I toxic when I swallowed all your lies?
When I bit my tongue while you looked me in the eyes?
When I carried your chaos like it was my cross
And still apologized every time we fought
Tell me, was I toxic for staying too loyal?
For loving you through storms that were never mutual?
For packing up your damage and calling it home
While you sat comfy on a heart I loaned
I walked on eggshells in a war you started
And you called me crazy when I became guarded
You drained my spirit but needed my soul
Then blamed me for the weight of your control
Now I ask myself in the silence of my room
Was I poisonous, or just drowning in your fumes?
Is it toxic to break when you’re pushed that far?
Or is that just proof of where the wounds are?

[Pre-Chorus]
Don’t label my reaction like I’m the disease
You lit the match, I just burned in the heat
You twisted love into a battlefield
But I’m the villain just ‘cause I couldn’t heal in your field

[Chorus]
Was I toxic when I put up with your bullshit?
Took all the blame, every lie, every rumor you spit?
Or was I just bleeding out in disguise
Smiling through pain while love fucking died?
Was I toxic for finally losing my mind?
After crossing a thousand emotional lines?
If standing up now makes me the bad guy
Then I’ll wear that crown while I walk away alive

[Verse 2]
Gaslight, guilt trip, emotional games
Kept me addicted to hurt and shame
You played victim while I played dumb
Believing love meant going numb
Friends said leave, I said “they don’t get it”
Now I see clearly what I won’t regret is
Loving hard even when it hurt me
While you just loved how I served you
I became colder just to survive
While you sharpened words like knives
So if you call me toxic now, I laugh
‘Cause you fell in love with my aftermath
You don’t miss me, you miss control
Miss having access to my soul
Now I’m healing and that’s the crime
‘Cause you can’t live rent free in my mind

[Bridge]
Maybe I did scream
Maybe I did break
Maybe I did become someone I hate
But you don’t get to write my ending
When you were the one who kept the blade bending
Pain don’t make you toxic, it makes you human
Endurance in hell doesn’t mean I condone it
And healing ain’t pretty
Growth ain’t sweet
Sometimes it ugly…
But it’s real to me

[Final Chorus]
So was I toxic for putting up with your mess?
Or was I loyal way past my best?
Was I “crazy” for wanting peace?
Or just tired of your constant disease?
If protecting myself is labeled wrong
Then I’ll be wrong, and still be strong
I won’t carry your guilt no more
I washed my hands, I closed the door

[Outro]
You keep my name inside your mouth
Like it’s sweeter than the truth you never found
But the only toxic thing I ever did
Was love you harder than I loved myself
And I fixed that.

Was I Toxic When I Put Up With All Your Bullshit?

Am I a real One?

originally released Feb 28, 2022. Available everywhere.

OVIOUSLY

(Prod. Anarky)
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LYRICS 👇
feelin like mario yall are luigi
all my enemies find in the ouigi
niggas be bitchin im callin em peachy
why would i bowser you can not beat me
stickin these niggas they losin a cici
i want the wario there is no treaty 
one on one still feel like im teaming 
flatten yall niggas like

i got the hammer bro used to be shy guy
now i got bars yeah look at my wifi
harder than rock yes i am a might guy
they only stars cuz they bouta skydive
light up your shirt like you wearin a tie dye 
me and 4 niggas we flippin like five guys 
talkin to god like i live on a skyrise

i govern myself i dont abide by
i always meditate gettin my mind right 
i never hesitate i let the time fly
i got the 3rd but yall got the hindsight
mr miyagi yall niggas is fried rice
spittin tsunami you spittin that high tide
hit em wit a 3 piece like we at popeyes
shells in ya back bye bye
dicing these tracks pie slice
move or get ___ line drive
you do not drive by that is a drive thru
you is a bitch your girl prolly wife you
yall niggas sweet im callin you type 2
not on my level you lackin the IQ

i stomp on your dome im taking your gold
im crackin the code im wackin these moles
im chompin the chains im breakin the mold
im yellin out boo then robbin your throne 
whatever you had now i own
Yoshi dry but she get the bone
riding like daisy Im autozone
They finna croak im sick of these toads
give me your coin i want it pronto
strippin like loin she givin tonsil
time to go huntin call me hansel
x on ya head that is a console
son of god yall the apostle 
watchin they moves im Aristotle 
strange like im benedict reekin the benefits
pen is so venomous killin degenerates
you and your relatives yall are too hesitant 
make em surrender quick they are irrelevant 
stop wit that rhetoric bitch im ahead it
way too attentive ____
i am ascending theres no more pretendin
im shootin like stephen they shootin that fentan
all that obsession they need intervention 
class is in session attend or suspension 
im teachin a lesson my words like weapon
im plantin intention i call inception 
im pressing your chest like its heavy compression
no longer a peasant im livin in blessings

Say The Name - J-R3d x Ric Da Vinci

J-R3d