Originally uploaded: September 22, 2021

garbageGothic as JaidenAnimations
RaccoonBroVA as Patchy The Pirate
Written by Serena, Mason, and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Produced by Kustom
Mixed by Serena
Beat Re-arranged by Serena
Art by Nooby

Patchy:
Argh Potty look what we have here! (What Patchy?)
The Youtube version of a slimy buccaneer
It’s ironic that she acts all high and mighty
When she got her fame from minecraft YT
You walk the plank, Jaiden? Cause you sank, Jaiden
Nowadays you only care about your bank, Jaiden
Face the facts, Jaiden, you’re just the net’s next fad
Another faceless personality behind a sketch pad
Made a song opening up, ironically left your rep erased
Even boyinaband couldn’t help your case
Squarepants my hero, second to zero
Watching your videos make me feel like I’m in limbo

Jaiden:
When I was young, of course I watched a lot of cartoons
But it seems that one of them just had a couple parts loose!
Luckily I had to skip the whole “contacting” hassle
Because guess who decided to show up to rap battle?
Patchy the Pirate! Raspy the Parrot!
About time I leave this fake pirate silent!
Nickelodeon wanted you to escar-go
Then they replaced you with the P Star Show
Your relevance and your career is deep in the sea
After listening to your verse, it’s easy to see
You should’ve stayed praising Spongebob by your shrine
After this, you’ll need 2 pints of Moonshine

Patchy:
I thought you’d pack more heat for an Arizonan resident
But I guess you’re used to being burnt out and it’s evident

Jaiden:
Even with your spare foot, you can’t step up to a pro trainer
I’ll speedrun this battle, leaving your ship wrecked is a no-brainer!

Patchy:
Tried to rise above the dirt but you’re the thing you’re afraid of
Shilling out Samurai Buyer like “JAIDEN BETRAYED US!”
Went from relatable story times to complaining and playing games
Even this pirate can’t get on board your ship with James

Jaiden:
With that raspy voice the Captain couldn’t keep a Hook on the beat
The only thing that Patchy needs to patch now is his teeth
All those dreams of meeting Spongebob? You can forget em
I’m finished rapping against this phony, ARI! GET EM!

JaidenAnimations Vs Patchy The Pirate. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. GarbageGothic And RaccoonBroVA)

Matt Raichous as Scooby-Doo
Clever Chaos as Garfield
Mixed by Near
Beat: Curtains by Dansonn
Written by EatMoPizza and Matt Raichous
Art by EatMoPizza

Lyrics:

I knew I’d have to deal with some creepy freak again
But I see you’re no ghost; you’re not dead, just deadpan
You act so lifeless in every one of your strips
I’d be more frightened by your creepypastas than your quips

Sleuthin’s top dog ’gainst the top lasagna hog 
Not a proper icon, just a bulbous-eyed con
Memes and merchandise are the only things keeping you known
Clinging to your relevance like a plushie in the window

Should have sent Odie instead to get a fairer bout
Even I’d lose my appetite when selling out to Paramount
You’ve got no appeal with the newer generations
While I’m known across the nation as CN’s spooky sensation


This ain’t a hydrant, so quit taking the piss
You’re not solving mysteries, you’re playing coppers with some kids
So don’t drag this onto my street, I’ve got the shots to end ya
Though I’d say you dodged a bullet getting dropped off at Velma

Listen, I’ve lead a lengthy legacy of lethargy
but even speeding on all fours you won’t get a leg up on me
When you tend to flee, screaming at each feeble phony freak
Chop you into five puppies, you’re running like Air Buddies
 
While I’ve been livin’ large since I hit papers the seventies
Get more laughs in my sleep than you running on ABC
Clueless mutt, ya really think you’re ranking up there with the greats?
Looks like the weak’s about to start again; I hate this Mun-Dane


With each new iteration, you fail to appeal
This fat cat stacks cash like our monsters are real
With your creepy CG incomplete, we’re learning it’s true
That every single new creator is just as lazy as you


Like Nicky Flowers in a battle, ‘cause I’m ranking at the highest
While you’re stuck pushing up daisies, disappear like Garfield Minus
‘Cause this tabby’s stuck in tabloids, I’m a prime time pup
Sitting in your recliner’s the only time you get a leg up

On the air for half a century, catching criminals with ease
Grabbing greedy grimalkins with speed Garfield’s never seen
While the only thing this glutton’s ever caught’s a couple Z’s
But tonight you’ll get some exercise running away from me


HB barely bears a name this day and age
Talking down about my shows like your reboot’s all the rage?
I’ll bash your straight to DVDs straight back to VHS
You hold onto relevance ‘bout as well as you do your girlfriends


It’s been decades since a single viewer called you groovy
Warner finds you so taxing that they’d write off a finished movie
But didja think that flick would top the box office at Christmas?
Please, a single Sunday paper would have been a bigger hit

Even spiders bother me less than to hear you spitting
This “timeless” classic’s dated, left wondering “Who’s S-s-scared?”
But I can answer what they’ve been asking since the beginning
“Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” To be true, no one cares.

Scooby-Doo vs Garfield - Verses Mode (ft. Matt Raichous and Clever Chaos)

kinger the amazing digital circus vs sarah needlemouse exe rap battle anolog vs anything.

Kinger vs. Needlemouse // Analog vs. Anything.

Cri as Kinger

Hailey as Needlemouse (Sarah)

Cameos by Clarence and Hailey

Written and Produced by Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Art by A Trash Artist and EpicMonkey

Graphic Design by JustADude
 
LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16UQrnK9FOf0a4FMEuSOGaNoLlGwlLoP7al3U2Nt7LQM/edit

(OLD) The Amazing Digital Circus vs. Needlem0use • Analog vs. Anything.

Royal Rap Battles!
TheMonarchy as King Bob-Omb
Bucketheadking as King Pig
Beat produced by Surce
Written by Trakked, KingCorporeal, AlchemyKing
Additional help by: King Ducky
Mixer: (King) Jordy

Battle:

King Bob-Omb (0:13):
The king of kaboom has now entered the room; I expect that you soon will be met with your doom
Cuz I'm heading to you and you know that I'm ruthless, I'll use you as food at the end of this duel
I don’t know how you climbed and found my mountain but you’ll never amount to 
My legacy with all the eggs that you’re eating, try besting me and you’ll end up as a couch, fool!
(Haha!) To me, your tiny crown's a toothpick
I don’t care that you’re an heir because you’ve fared as rather useless
I'm gargantuan and flattening this wacky tacky bastard
So you better call for Leonard ‘fore I have your forces scattered

King Pig (0:40):
Pigs before made houses out of straw and wood, but that’s beneath me
No huff or puff can haul me off the roof, you can’t defeat me
Birds together tried to fight, my power’s what they’re all afraid of
I’m stronger than your metal plating, so I’ll show you what I’m made of!
Appetite like Gaston, on the track I’m a beast (snort) *
Nab his star and cash in, cause I’m covered in green! (snort) *
Now that I’m face to face with you, I simply must ask
What kind of paint did you spread on that wretched mustache?

King Bob-Omb (1:06):
Hold it, Porky; such embellished stories, I don’t give a damn
Cooking up a storm on this beat, call it Green Eggs and Ham
So listen Smooth Cheeks, we know you’re used to falling off
This awful pawn is off his rocker, while Bob-Omb calls all the shots!

King Pig (1:21):
You’re supposed to kneel to me, not.. whatever you’re doing now
Went from a boss to spin-offs, so that shows you’re losing clout
I may target infants, but I’d never throw them at foes
No wonder you’re the blasting master, all you do is blow!

King Bob-Omb (1:35):
At least I treat bob-ombs with respect. Your piggies protect you, and what do they get?
They get bruises and scratches, they’re losing their balance, you’re gnawing on eggs while they fall off the ledge! 
Constructing games out of spare parts and spinoffs no one had asked for
Now I’m dropping the mic harder than you from the App Store

King Pig (1:49):
That verse is the biggest bomb here, with the crap that you’ve laid
‘Cause your disses are like your Party board: factory-made
In a minute, I’ll be chilling with my minions, do you mind?!
So gimme your crown too, this win is MINE MINE MINE!!

King Bob-Omb vs King Pig - Rap Cypher #38

Cover art by: Cidisswo
YT link: https://youtu.be/SrpFrzgsdME?si=fGHuqH3SymB5l3so

egomanic as both voice
Written by egomanic

Lyrics: 

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Yeah) try to catch the wave, and drown in my flow
Cuz mine is hard to swallow you’re a soft drink like coke
Why don’t you pass me a cigarette, im asking for smoke
Give a cowboy his magazine, this gat’ll unload, so
Mic pilot with the rhymes i'm freestyling 
Stacking my piles high in the sky, supplies rising 
Dropping by lines right on the fly like skydiving 
While you tried diving into the night and died trying 
Hijacked off in the cockpit since dishonorable discharge 
Till you dropped and the rocks hit, now you’re never gettin them off (Uh) 
We are not the same, i'm not on your plane
Inspired by the first 3d show host, while you got no game 
Mask on, not a trace while all the cops can spot your face
I’m on your case, going off unlike the bomb that's on your case 
Uh uh, sorry cooper but today is not your day
Come to get me i’ll just turn the other cheek and walk away

[D.B. Cooper]
I don't like funny stuff, but i have some notes
This is a rap battle, I expected actual jokes
Wanna talk about catching smoke?
I drop bombs, max, listen to the raps I wrote, it goes
Briefcase empty took 200k with me 
Got the job done, for 50 years remained missing
Placed whiskey orders, called the shots, escaped quickly
Stuck the landing and I even made it back for thanksgiving
You never left no evidence but it's evident
I made my mark, your love faded into irrelevance
Rebelled against PBS with your obscene scenes
But it seems, your messages are as obscured as your references (Ay!)
Ruffled some feathers then i flew the cooper
You broadcast fetish cosplay: D.B. Gooner
So go ahead and throw hands and get chucked like Swirsky
I kept mine clean while your gloves got dirty

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Ohhhh)
I’m a rap god, bro think he the unabomber 😂
You bargain Bin Laden: Osama lama duma lama
You made some bank and then the banks became your treasury
So I’ll make this air pirate “see the X” because he’s dead to me

[D.B. Cooper]
(Ugh)
Your heads in the clouds if you think your verse phased me
First class? Nah, you dressed like the first lady
I cover my tracks well but this time the FBI will find
Your airtime is up, but you didn’t leave a tie behind…

D.B. Cooper vs Max Headroom Hijacker - Ego Rap Battles

Check out the video for this battle!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxzrjyDF7aY

Welcome back to another installment of Shimario's Rap Battles! Today we have a big battle between two goofy side villains, who secretly have much bigger plans beyond what the main villains of their respective games aim for. We have Dimentio, the larger than life jester who steals the show in Super Paper Mario, and Plague Knight, the small yet insanely mischievous alchemist on a quest for all of the Order of No Quarter's essences in Shovel Knight. Comment down below who you think won the battle, and feel free to leave suggestions for future battles as well!

Rosenthal as Dimentio
Snakebite126 as Plague Knight

Written, Directed, and Produced by: Shimario
Beat Produced by: ENNWAY 
Mixed and Mastered by: Freshy Kanal
Edited by: Shimario
Art by: Valonide 
Cover Art by: Rabi
Special Thanks to: Eddiefrb, Jofinity, GustyStar, Zertonium

Lyrics:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GtQS063JZBw8j7P4U-v-HEfds4lEiNZVQIU5MgSdyLE/edit?usp=sharing

Dimentio vs Plague Knight - Rap Battle!

RecD as Wolverine
Rosenthal as Cloud Strife
Written by AdamDRB, SIR Rap Battles & Shimario
Mixed & Mastered by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Ihaksi
Beat arrangement by Shimario
Special thanks to Zachary Allen-Thierry, Luke Reardon, Ego, JoJoVO, RaccoonBroVA, garbageGothic & Fightmarker
Cover art by M!CAH

Cloud:
Guess I’ll start this off… and I’m very sorry Logan
But your soul’s a wound that's open with no potion to go close it
It’s the last time that you’re gonna be smokin’, enjoy the stogie
Consider this a mercy on the lowly, now let’s mosey

Should’ve known that sparring with me’s something you’ll regret, and yet
You’ll probably still find a way to blame that shit on Weapon X
Ya turn all your hissy fits into murdering innocents
All this blood on your hands, and you still think you’re who the victim is?

Seems like you and Sector 7 got a common attribute
You’d both know a lot about metal collapsing down on you
Nearly filled your head with the bullet you used to kill your clone
You couldn’t take it anymore - I guess your limit broke

Wolverine:
You can shut your mouth bub, I think we’ve heard enough
My claws are jealous with how much that pointy hair could cut
I’m hardest to the bone, not some random Turk you’d spar with
I’ll “Remake” your pretty face - when you’re split up into parts, bitch!

A lone wolf standing high at the top, I’m a savage
You're a clone wolf, 2 decades old and your shit’s still repackaged
And I hate to drop some more shit on your plate, but just so happens
That you only notice chicks are crushin’ after they’re already flattened

An amnesiac cursed with shit ya wish you never knew
Couldn’t save Nibelheim in time - you thought that I’d forget it too?
Sephiroth took everything from you, it must’ve hurt for sure
He didn’t need Supernova to make you watch your world burn

Cloud:
Your flow hurts, Wolvy. Where did you learn it from 
All the drowning in self pity, or just drowning your own son?
The slowest with emotions, you’re more out of touch than Rogue was
And you live inside a school with children cause you’d never grow up

You’re the best at what you do - hurting people without rhyme or reason
Those pupil-less eyes must mean you’re simply just too blind to see that
every single person that you’ve cared for in your life’s mistreated
I bet you wear that tank top ‘cause all of your wives have beat it

Yeah, last I checked you don’t do well romantically
Take it from me, thinking you’ll stay with Gray’s a fantasy
Still haunted by those X-Genes and that ex Jean you left bleeding out
How ironic, seems what she’s needing now’s a Phoenix Down

Wolverine:
Just quit acting like you’ve got a chip on your shoulder
All the wars that I’ve fought in would’ve broken this loner 
You left everyone behind, so it’s time that someone told ya
That you’re weak deep down - you ain’t super or a SOLDIER

You’re a poser - stole from your dead friend, but he also ain’t so strong
Doubt he’d handle beer with me, the dude can’t even take a shot
Your charade is gone, and gotta say you’re not threatening
Kid, if you wanna play pretend, then stick to crossdressing

Whether it’s your friends or foes, you’re only bringing doom to all
It fits that everybody who joins Avalanche is due to fall
Cause one look at Aerith’s fate’s enough to see that you’re at fault
Now she’ll never get to bring the flowers to your funeral


Wolverine vs Cloud Strife. SIR Rap Battles Season 3

LYRICS

Poniko/UBOA
Uh… do you have some kind of business?
‘Cause the D.A.R.E. showcase is in the Violence District
So… if you could leave, that’d be great since
Seeing you’re roaming the streets, I can get why Madotsuki stays in

Shady look, head to knee, cloaked, no identity 
Looking like another seller price-gouging LS…D
Um.. could you stop.. flipping… the light switch?
‘Cause… you might have a… bit… of a slight trip

THERE’S NO NEED TO PINCH YOURSELF
YOU WANTED THIS, AND AS A REWARD, I’LL GIVE YOU HELL
WATCH YOUR WORLD CHANGE AS YOUR SIGHTS SET ON THE NIGHT TERROR
ENTER, MR. SANDMAN, WELCOME TO THE WHITE DESERT

IT’S OBVIOUS JUST FROM THE SIGHT OF THIS MAN
AND IT MAKES SENSE WHY HE NEVER LEFT OUTSIDE OF JAPAN
YOU’RE FACELESS, BLAND, AND LEAVE PEOPLE’S BRAINS SCATTERED 
WASHED OUT FROM MINDS ‘CAUSE YOU LACK ANY GREY MATTER

The Grey Man
IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE. A PLACE TO WAKE UP 
FLOWERS. HE HAD FOUR. USE THE COMPANY. 
CONTACT FOR MORE DETAILS. I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU. 
ZERO. TEN. TEN. ZERO. SEVEN. ZERO.           ASMIK. 

Wake up, there is no room for sleep.
You cannot move or leave. This is no lucid dream.
Now take this pill and join me, go take the plunge,
Watch an easter egg crack like your brain on drugs.

Composed of the stuff that’s - more than - 24 side effects.
Composed of the stuff - to leave you lying - lying - lie in bed.
Composed of the stuff - see figures leave and reappear - time and time again.
No one - talks to you - you’re one more - sight to them.

[                                                                                               ]

Take a trip. See, I originated this
Send players through 11 - 12 pieces, make them sick.
You’re a copy- a copy, take this pill and-ta-take it in,
I wrote down the Dream Journal, you just emulated it.

Sink Downer, and Downer, and Downer, and Downer
And Downer, and Downer, and Downer, and Downer…
Don’t wake up.
Dizzy, loopy, passed out - under the - streetlight.
Sleep tight.

UBOA
PUT ME TO SLEEP? YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A REST
‘CUZ THAT WASN’T A HANGOVER, JUST A CRICK IN THE NECK
AND THAT’S ALL THAT YOU ARE, SO GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM
OR COME WIPE MY MIND, I’D BE GLAD TO FORGET YOU

NO WONDER ASMIK COULDN’T MAKE YOUR STUFF SELL
‘CAUSE WHO’S WANTING A WALKING SIMULATOR THAT CAN’T RUN WELL?
YOU WANT PEOPLE TO BOOT UP YOUR EMULATOR AND DREAM TOO
BUT NOW THEY NEED TO BOOT UP AN EMULATOR TO SEE YOU

[                                                                                               ]

The Grey Man
I live in your conscious.           your subconscious.
The dark thoughts - buried - lying - lie in bed unconscious.
You hole up in your home - in your home - interacting is dread.
But you are not alone

Only cared about when the lights cut out since
You don’t fit - the spotlight, more the dark that surrounds it.
So - so lonely, starving for attention.
When you go to sleep, don’t be startled by my presence.

CREDITS

Kurobane Azia as Poniko and UBOA

Rosenthal as The Grey Man
Snakebite126 as Also The Grey Man

Written by Rabi
Beat prod. by DumbChild
Additional instrumental work by ENNWAY
Mixed and mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by linterteatime
Cover Art by Rabi

UBOA vs. The Grey Man - Rap Battle

EricTheAudible as Handsome Jack
Lexi M. as Adam
Written by CornCob
Produced by Spadical
Mixed by ClarenceTheDuck
Art by MegaPMB and Hannaeleven

[Lyrics]
Handsome Jack:
(Clears throat) It’s cute that y’all think you’re the “heroes” of this fanfiction 
’cause you casted out the only man in the clouds who had some damn vision
But why was your solution, which you made out of jealousy…
…Replacing him with the biggest C.H.E.R.U.B that heaven has ever seen?

Your Superior is clearly me feat. Hyperion
Where business is more consistent than the dimwit with the written list to his limits
Since Helios, I’ve had eyes all over: I see that spoon you were given
Screw with me buddy, and I’ll show you what I can do with it!

Why am I whom you got a bone to pick? Go beef with the guy that stole your rib!
and promised you a life of ownership, ‘til both times both wifes said no to it!
Why would I invest in “Angelic Weapons”; a couple of rocks are plenty?
I’d offer you to off yourself, but Vivian did that already!

Adam:
Sup, so uhh…you’re Rhy’s bitch, right?
You sure did love to scam gamblers until someone else let the chips die
Ever since your metropolis toppled your schtick gone under, but
You should thank us for saving you from that god-awful blockbuster

To be fair your game did well. Somehow all your bitchin did sell
Then people saw your actor did Cell, and everyone split ways with this incel
A fuckin’ masterpiece comes from whatever Adam leaves
So if you want to be a better dad, get on your knees and cleanse my Apple Seeds!

See the horns and realize I’m the GOAT, they rely on this liar to line in their dough
Bro, you’re being revived to keep your series alive…how is half the screen time on the phone?!?!
Everyone that he loved went and blasted their trust and turned their backs on this jackoff
I can see the betrayal lined in his face…next time: Just keep the mask on

Handsome Jack:
Nonono, I refuse to lose to a parody in poor taste 
You couldn’t handle furries in a Kangaroo Court case
If you weren’t so loosely tied to the bible, you’d be a bandit under my title
Who got abandoned being sent to double hell by a tiny psycho!

Adam:
Comparing my Lilith to yours, I’m winging smokin’ babes
Your girl played a turret, and ended with it smoking babes
And while there’s no redemption inside that void where you’re heading
At least your “fathership” left another Angel in Heaven

Handsome Jack VS Adam (Feat. EricTheAudible & TheMetalTempest) - Rap Battle!

Ego as Granny 
Ego as Grandpa
TheToppo as The Warden
Beat by: Sapjer and Bross
Written by: Ego, lowkdoodles and jordy
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

GRANNY!!!!

VS!!!!

THE WARDEN!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Granny]
(laughs) ugh I am your granny, this hack I am hacking and slashing 
And with this bat, your head I will bash in, show you im batshit, like pepper spray: can it
Downloads go up like attics, The Warden, oh hes just so rancid
And on the track, im dropping bear traps, so how could you match up? you’re already half dead
You should respect your elders, or join the rest of my helpers (Hhh, hhh)
Is it a suprise that I’m better? The one with the spider came up on the web first
Beware, granny is no fable, I’m heavy metal like a Granny smithing table
You wont find MY keys, Warden, wanna play hide and seeeeeek?
Aint one to be played with, I keep the player in the basement
But with the way your updates went, you left your fans in the deep dark, but that aint what your player base meant!
Want a war then warden? Battle me, you’re cooked
Make like angelene and book
And you shouldn’t feel too bad you haven’t any ears
You havent made noise in the fandom in years
After this bat-tery its lights out, unless you want you be ground, you should burrow back into it right now
And the only reason that you got more power than the enderdragon is that in the end you're draggin all your fights out
You couldn't beat me with your TV tropes, sir 
Keep your E rating I’ll stick with DV Loper
You got 2 verses left so try to talk back
And we’ll who’s really immune to knockback

[Warden]
Yo granny it’s past your bedtime
Lay victims to bed but you can’t lay a rhyme
I’m glad that I’m blind so I cant see your games shit design
Your textures are more pixelated than mine
Your names funny, youre not a grandma, youre a dang mummy
In your lil’ red santa hat, feeling all festive-like
Watch me grab my catalyst and check it twice *skulk sound*
For like 5 days, you were trending
Then you went to shit like your franchise took the sewer ending
I dug out, when you’re up to bat
Its ironic, a Grammy would suck at rap (ahh)
And If I were you, Id be driven
Instead of cars, to fix your lighting engine
No eyes, one look at me scares all the children
You’re a phone game, I'm THE out of pocket addition
Slendrina, I’ll take you to school
But like your model they should have gave you the boot
And I wouldn’t sweater, go back to your knitting club, 
Tick me off and the grandfather is getting clocked
You would eat crow in a cage fight 
This is your last chance, like day 5 
Couldn’t even hit your own target audience
Out of ammo and aimless, as your AI 

[Grandpa and Granny]
(AHA!) No wrench but you might be screwed
Better bolt or ill send you the “ICU” 
When I swing it you know it’s such a sweet sensation
Even Marky Mark rapped better good vibrations
I’ve never heard a verse that left me more bored
Best watch your step like The Creaking. Floorboards.
Can’t you see why you Diana (die and i) live?
If you don’t want smoke, than stay out the crib!

[Warden]
We both have underground societies
But your following is counting down, like hide and seek
Your dental plan’s a disturbing signt
Use them white pearl eyes for some pearly whites
Hit the cutting room floor, once the remakes phased you out
Kids left you behind and now the retirement home is granny’s house

Granny vs The Warden (Minecraft) - Ego Rap Battles

A Heartbreaking Thought

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Rabi_battles
Twitter: https://x.com/rabi_funny
BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/rabbyfrb.bsky.social

UBOA vs. The Grey Man - Rap Battle

Rabi

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