Freshy Kanal - Money Heist vs. The Wolf of Wall Street (feat. Keyblade & Gridline Studios)

acemusic as Yuno Gasai
Alen as Jason Voorhees
Beat by Dansonn
Mixed by Fightmarker
Written by Cole

Yuno (0:13)
This is the menace I’m meant to dispose of? A washed up old loser whos trapped in the past
I come strapped to battle with axes and malice my plan is to dice up what's left of your ass
No Freddy or Carrie, I’m more than prepared to bury your body after you bleed all night
If you were one chose as a holder it’s hopeless; I’m not even sure you can read or write
Your series died, trapped under waivers and papers, then just replaced by another
So I’ll do you a favor and cut off your head, just one more way you can be like your mother
Let’s get to the chase, my love is alive, it’s been many decades since you’ve been embraced
Spent years stuck under the crashing of waves, rotting at the bottom of Camp Crystal Lake
Yes our love is true beauty, I do this all for you, Yuki! (Oh Yuki)
Don’t think you’ll lose this? You’re missing a screw, mutie 
Though really, I just need to pull up your sequels to hurt you
Turned you to a goofy freak, then they bombed more than Uryuu
You don’t pose a threat, neither bloated mess, or a load of tech, it’s so low distress 
And noting that, you’re a load of scrap, poor lowly Mech, like Deus Ex
Step to a God bringing nothing but Mur-Murs? You’re practically asking for me to damage ya
With the end of my verse, you can go burn in hell, when you’re in the depths you can say hi to Pamela 

Jason (1:10)
(Ki, Ki, Ma, Ma) Heard enough of this harpy spit
(Ki, Ki, Ma, Ma) I grip the mic, now Jason Lives
Your horrible show is a chore to finish, a whiny incel and his stalker, so tiring
I’ll skewer your beta of a man on my blade, you can go jot that shit down in your diary
These shots I’m firing, thinking you’re beating me? You nearly died to a blind vigilante  
Got played by an imp and their drawn out conspiracy, added your love to your killing tally
Could beat you as a child, fuck the Fifth, I’ll show you deadly kids
I’d tell you to kill yourself, but it seems you already did
Say you’ll turn me to a carcass, bloviating, here you’re armless
But regardless, I’ll haunt your ass to your grave like Tommy Jarvis
With dozens of timelines and worlds where you die, in this fight you’re clearly lacking
I should just go to a new universe, one where you’re actually decent at rapping
You psychotic bitch, abusive and evil, boasting about love as if you’re one to talk
You drug and kidnap him, bind him with chains, and when he dislikes you it comes as a shock
Like your love, your life, your plots, you’ve met a Dead End on this beat
Fought your way through the 12, just to fall to the 13th

Yuno Gasai vs. Jason Voorhees - Rap Battle

Jonna-Lynn Alonso as Nemona
yukigloom as Goku

Written by SIR Rap Battles & Jofinity
Additional writing help by Shimario
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Diamond Style 
Cover art by LimJJ (Original cover by M!CAH)
Cover art stills by Cole
Special thanks to RaccoonBroVA, Eric the Audible, Ryoma Ishizuka, bblackroses, Satoshi Tajiri & Akira Toriyama

Nemona: (0:24)
All the fans in the region, you hear them cheer for the champ
When your planet’s in need, you disappear in a flash
I’ve got a masterful team prepared to clear any match
While your laughable team just shrieks in fear from attacks 
So - he got adopted by Grandpa Gohan until he got stomped on 
By no one other than the toddler that he taught and fostered
And as a grown-up, his losses don't stop
‘Cause all of the monsters that he was crossing took his comrades and offed them
I'm an Academy Ace! You never got an education
Speeding past your limits, but a driving test is where you're failing?
That's outrageous! You can't stay committed to the sons you're raising 
If you keep forsaking them as prey for the foes that you're facing
I'll be popping off when I land critical strikes
But when this pop is off, it's ‘cause he's ditching his wife
Losing the ones you love? You sure take after your dad, man
A father-son legacy ‘cause this fight’s your last stand!

Goku: (1:05)
Aw, I kinda wished I'd get an actual fight
Should’ve brought your gym leader to rap ‘cause you’re lacking in Ryme
So stack up our might, the gap is too wide if we talk fisticuffs
Couldn't patch that Gastly-looking face with Herba Mystica
So obsessed with spars, you'd wind up who you're speaking to
It seems that you must be illiterate - can't write or read the room
And after catching wind of Turtle School, a good bout’s what I can't ignore
While your school’s out catching turtles like some kind of Capsule Corps!
With what you've promoted, you left your fanbase broken
Those blows you dealt felt Phoned in, it's like your father Rotom
Kamehameha flowing ‘cause you don't seem to notice
This contest is the only time you're good at throwing
People drop you like your frame rate? Sheesh, you’ve had a rough time
You’re the type to bug but your game is more the bug-type 
You like to battle? Well… maybe don’t punch like
you’re still holding back, kid, let’s make this a fun fight!

Nemona (1:45):
You Self-Destruct in fights so much, this lucha’s your last
‘Cause like it's Frieza with your planet, I’mma put ‘ya on blast (Sí!)
This gluttonous dud should swallow this truth up for his next feast:
Regardless of his heart disease, this papá is a deadbeat

Goku (1:55):
Whew, that’s more like it! You’re getting used to spitting some disses
But I bet I can catch on quicker, call that Instant Transmission 
Shouldn't be messing with Universe 7, kid
When half your character designs are more lifeless than your professor is

Nemona (2:06):
If you wanna talk professors, I better mention
Yours developed cybernetic weapons, that left your future threatened
Even in the face of defeat, I'm always beaming up
You only made Raditz face defeat when you're left Beaming up!
And seeing your films’ canon, it’s just gunning to fail
‘Cause they made like a pair of scissors and kept cutting your tales
So like your hijo with a dinosaur, ditch this before it gets worse
We'd probably have to wait another saga for your next verse

Goku (2:26):
Of course this little privileged rich kid has never witnessed the image
of vicious villains killing every single innocent that lives in your village
After what happened to Krillin, 
I was driven to break my limits, you're just tracking down children
Endlessly battling with them, man you're just tactless, a dimwit
And with the draft that you’re pickin’, it’s just a match full of misfits
So maybe next time you go spotting new trainers who wanna be elite
Make like how your family treats you - and leave them be

Goku vs Nemona. SIR Rap Battles (ft. yukigloom & Jonna-Lynn Alonso)

Cover art by: Cidisswo
YT link: https://youtu.be/SrpFrzgsdME?si=fGHuqH3SymB5l3so

egomanic as both voice
Written by egomanic

Lyrics: 

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Yeah) try to catch the wave, and drown in my flow
Cuz mine is hard to swallow you’re a soft drink like coke
Why don’t you pass me a cigarette, im asking for smoke
Give a cowboy his magazine, this gat’ll unload, so
Mic pilot with the rhymes i'm freestyling 
Stacking my piles high in the sky, supplies rising 
Dropping by lines right on the fly like skydiving 
While you tried diving into the night and died trying 
Hijacked off in the cockpit since dishonorable discharge 
Till you dropped and the rocks hit, now you’re never gettin them off (Uh) 
We are not the same, i'm not on your plane
Inspired by the first 3d show host, while you got no game 
Mask on, not a trace while all the cops can spot your face
I’m on your case, going off unlike the bomb that's on your case 
Uh uh, sorry cooper but today is not your day
Come to get me i’ll just turn the other cheek and walk away

[D.B. Cooper]
I don't like funny stuff, but i have some notes
This is a rap battle, I expected actual jokes
Wanna talk about catching smoke?
I drop bombs, max, listen to the raps I wrote, it goes
Briefcase empty took 200k with me 
Got the job done, for 50 years remained missing
Placed whiskey orders, called the shots, escaped quickly
Stuck the landing and I even made it back for thanksgiving
You never left no evidence but it's evident
I made my mark, your love faded into irrelevance
Rebelled against PBS with your obscene scenes
But it seems, your messages are as obscured as your references (Ay!)
Ruffled some feathers then i flew the cooper
You broadcast fetish cosplay: D.B. Gooner
So go ahead and throw hands and get chucked like Swirsky
I kept mine clean while your gloves got dirty

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Ohhhh)
I’m a rap god, bro think he the unabomber 😂
You bargain Bin Laden: Osama lama duma lama
You made some bank and then the banks became your treasury
So I’ll make this air pirate “see the X” because he’s dead to me

[D.B. Cooper]
(Ugh)
Your heads in the clouds if you think your verse phased me
First class? Nah, you dressed like the first lady
I cover my tracks well but this time the FBI will find
Your airtime is up, but you didn’t leave a tie behind…

D.B. Cooper vs Max Headroom Hijacker - Ego Rap Battles

This is the last time I do anything for that fuck shimario

BobcatXtreme as J. Jonah Jameson
TaigaTonic as Benson
Writing by Alchemyking
Additional help by JoJoVo
Art by Teimunity
Beat by kulture.
Mixing by Jort
Cover art by Kamren the Person
Special thanks: Matt Raichous, WoodenHornets, MetaStarVA, J.G. Quintel, & Shimario

JJJ:
HOFFMAN! Get this gumball machine out my office!
Against the Jameson, he can’t recoup his losses
Ego so big, your head is bigger than Pops’ is
But I’ll show you who the boss is!

Let me get my pen and print a headline:
“Jameson Hits Deadline, Makes Moron Choke Because His Bars Are Eggcelent!”
In comparison, he’s stretched more thin than the Spider-Menace’s webbing is
So I’ll put my two cents in, then dispense of him!

Think you’re some kind of master at handling your temperament?
It’s obvious that Benson flips the second that some slackers leave him upstaged
PARKER! Snap some pictures of his red face
Then you’ll get paid, and I’ll put it on the front page

Such a cowardly hothead, you’d prolly get some chicken wings to eat
And down it all with some Mississippi Queen
And then you steal employees’ lunch when they’re already tired?
Sit down, please. …You’re fired.

Benson
Mordecai, Rigby! Don’t slack on the beat
I know that you hate picking up trash from the scene
But you’ll get a raise if you make like the vigilante he seethes at
And kick this dirtbag from the streets!

It’s plain as day, the way you slave your place is brutal
It just takes whistleblowers to shut down the Daily Bugle
Think they’re making stacks, then you drop stacks of files on ‘em
With that mug, you look like you’d go “Sieg Heil!” on ‘em

You’re losing this bout
Cause this time, it’s the gum that’s chewing you out
Your seed in the Big Apple is rotten, I’d say it’s rather obvious
You stretch people’s hands in your offices like Doctor Octopus

You’re the real villain, keeping teens hobblin’
And withholding pay so Peter keeps jobbin’
Your profits only go to your nicotine hobby
Yet you ended up smoked by a different Green Goblin

JJJ
I’m not Susan, but don’t mind if I copy 
‘Cause your own mug ain’t even fit to hold my coffee!
Spent your past playing hockey games and hitting on drums
It fits you turned from a badass to a stick in the mud

That dome head won’t protect you, even if your residence blasted off
Either way, I’d still be sonning this astronaut
And speaking of domes, you went nuts when you were shut in
So you have no right to snap when people push your buttons

Benson
I’m used to irregular shows, but it’s out of the ordinary
How a man with no heart can still suffer a coronary
Maybe it’s ‘cause you added to Spider-Man’s foes in the ring?
Honest, the way you treated Scorpion stings

You got me pissed off, banking off of fear and pain
I’ll go ballistic on you, leave a smear campaign
You wanna say my mug’s ugly? Your plans were for nothing
‘Cause it’s abundantly clear your wife can’t handle a mugging

J. Jonah Jameson vs. Benson - AK Rap Battles

Main Cast:
‪TheToppo as This Man (Audio)
‪Powerofdan‬ as This Man (Video)

‪Freshy Kanal‬ as The Smiling Man (Audio)
TaigaTonic as The Smiling Man (Video)

Beat by: Freshy Kanal
Mixed by: Freshy Kanal
Written by: Freshy Kanal, TaigaTonic, Powerofdan, and TheToppo
Thumbnail by: Powerofdan


This Man:
I’m a cryptid shipped across the globe, they send my pics in envelopes
I got you shiverin down your toes, let’s see the chicken cross the road
You’re just a little tale that will never amount to stardom
Smiling at the moon like you got a past in Arkham

People look at me and I leave their minds boggled
People look at you and think you're at the bottom of a bottle
Not a figment of imagination, so they glance harder
But I’m sure they will find me before you’d ever find a dance partner

The Smiling Man:
Hello there…This man should have stayed in bed
But if you wanna tango, I’ll be sure to break a leg

I’m patiently waiting for a stranger to wander late
Hop scotch on my pavement and I turn the chalk to body shapes
You’re playing awful games with people in a trauma state
By sloppily attaching your face with a constant copy paste

A hoax in cinema and a hoax in all of folklore
All your films went south, no wonder you preach to Go North
Forced yourself on every Wanted poster with a dead smile
When you're in my domain, then you’ll really be an X file

Busted out the cage, now the posterboy is targeted
Since the concrete jungle went bananas for guerilla marketing
Maybe those articles should follow news for next time
So push those eyebrows to your hair if you want better headlines

This Man:
You’ll lose sleep over me until your eyes are scuffed
A state of mind around the world, you can’t leave Iowa
I’ll chase you where the demons watch until you flee the block
I send folks to the therapist, but you look like you need a doc

Got no lover so now you go stalk the whole town
How’re you quick on your feet but still can’t get a hoedown
You make em leave the neighbourhood, we’re hardly equal
And your busking couldn’t make a buck, is that why you charge at people?

I give them their worst nights, you’re stuck on the curbside
I got sketched a million times, you’re sketchy on first sight
You dawn a daunting smile so you can mask all the screams
And strut the streets at night because this man is in your dreams

The Smiling Man:
You played a twisted game with unknowing contenders 
But your real life sightings aren’t much but REM-embers
Cops investigated your case across the country
And the unanimous conclusion was... that you’re ugly

Your face is in our heads yet no one knows who you are
Memories of this dream have been fading away since the start
Yet it pales in the moonlight, now there’s none left to save
You can dance with the devil while I waltz on your grave

The Smiling Man Vs Ever Dream This Man

Ego as Blitzo
Leo Barqui as Beetlejuice

Written by Teimunity

Illustrations by Tompuffs, Dboy
Thumbnail by Cidisswo

Mixed and Mastered by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Production by Anywaywell

Special Thanks: Dboy, Tompuffs, Spindlehorse, You, The Viewer

Beetlejuice vs. Blitzo • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

RecD as Wolverine
Rosenthal as Cloud Strife
Written by AdamDRB, SIR Rap Battles & Shimario
Mixed & Mastered by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Ihaksi
Beat arrangement by Shimario
Special thanks to Zachary Allen-Thierry, Luke Reardon, Ego, JoJoVO, RaccoonBroVA, garbageGothic & Fightmarker
Cover art by M!CAH

Cloud:
Guess I’ll start this off… and I’m very sorry Logan
But your soul’s a wound that's open with no potion to go close it
It’s the last time that you’re gonna be smokin’, enjoy the stogie
Consider this a mercy on the lowly, now let’s mosey

Should’ve known that sparring with me’s something you’ll regret, and yet
You’ll probably still find a way to blame that shit on Weapon X
Ya turn all your hissy fits into murdering innocents
All this blood on your hands, and you still think you’re who the victim is?

Seems like you and Sector 7 got a common attribute
You’d both know a lot about metal collapsing down on you
Nearly filled your head with the bullet you used to kill your clone
You couldn’t take it anymore - I guess your limit broke

Wolverine:
You can shut your mouth bub, I think we’ve heard enough
My claws are jealous with how much that pointy hair could cut
I’m hardest to the bone, not some random Turk you’d spar with
I’ll “Remake” your pretty face - when you’re split up into parts, bitch!

A lone wolf standing high at the top, I’m a savage
You're a clone wolf, 2 decades old and your shit’s still repackaged
And I hate to drop some more shit on your plate, but just so happens
That you only notice chicks are crushin’ after they’re already flattened

An amnesiac cursed with shit ya wish you never knew
Couldn’t save Nibelheim in time - you thought that I’d forget it too?
Sephiroth took everything from you, it must’ve hurt for sure
He didn’t need Supernova to make you watch your world burn

Cloud:
Your flow hurts, Wolvy. Where did you learn it from 
All the drowning in self pity, or just drowning your own son?
The slowest with emotions, you’re more out of touch than Rogue was
And you live inside a school with children cause you’d never grow up

You’re the best at what you do - hurting people without rhyme or reason
Those pupil-less eyes must mean you’re simply just too blind to see that
every single person that you’ve cared for in your life’s mistreated
I bet you wear that tank top ‘cause all of your wives have beat it

Yeah, last I checked you don’t do well romantically
Take it from me, thinking you’ll stay with Gray’s a fantasy
Still haunted by those X-Genes and that ex Jean you left bleeding out
How ironic, seems what she’s needing now’s a Phoenix Down

Wolverine:
Just quit acting like you’ve got a chip on your shoulder
All the wars that I’ve fought in would’ve broken this loner 
You left everyone behind, so it’s time that someone told ya
That you’re weak deep down - you ain’t super or a SOLDIER

You’re a poser - stole from your dead friend, but he also ain’t so strong
Doubt he’d handle beer with me, the dude can’t even take a shot
Your charade is gone, and gotta say you’re not threatening
Kid, if you wanna play pretend, then stick to crossdressing

Whether it’s your friends or foes, you’re only bringing doom to all
It fits that everybody who joins Avalanche is due to fall
Cause one look at Aerith’s fate’s enough to see that you’re at fault
Now she’ll never get to bring the flowers to your funeral


Wolverine vs Cloud Strife. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. RecD & Rosenthal)

► CREDITS:

littleflecks as Feathers McGraw

Matt Raichous as Mojo Jojo

Narrator voiced by Alchemyking

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Mojo Jojo Art by Luke Reardon

Feathers McGraw Art by TreToonzz

Beat Prod. by Teimunity

Mixed by Serena


Cover Art by JK03


►LYRICS:

Mojo Verse 1 

Ah, the chicken from the wanted posters, I have been expecting you
I heard you were in Townsville and knew you would need to rent a room

And that is why I, Mojo Jojo, made that stupid ad
To lure you to my lair, and you have fallen right into my trap

Because you are here, you are in my presence and defenseless
I will beat you with my battle raps and have you apprehended

And collect the bounty money to help fund my plan to conquer the Earth
Then finish my breakfast, but the chicken comes first (evil laugh)


Feathers Verse 1 

Alright, the glove is coming off (What?!)
Yeah, I’m not a chicken but I’m certainly the cock of the walk

No other robber’s on the watch of every copper in the county
Man, I’m worth a thousand pounds, you’ve taken several thousand poundings

From the Wonder Triplets you seek to destroy, but even with your freakish toys
You still have weaker evil ploys than the Amoeba Boys

You tried a million plans but always wound up overpowered
You couldn’t even get a leg up with the right trousers


Mojo Verse 2

No, this cannot be, I wrote both of my verses
Based on the fact that I assumed you were a chicken, cuuuuurses

Mwahaha, I am now well-versed in your movie roles
Though you have very little material, like your studio!

You try to fly solo, but on your own you are no menace
You just met some random cheesehead and depend on his inventions

You cannot take the heat, for when your plans go off course
You start sweating like a pig, resembling mojo pork

You had an excellent plot, till it went off the rails and then you were caught
I shall refer to you as Fettered McGraw

That is to say you were a failure, your scheme was ineffective
It was thwarted, foiled, prevented! Well, actually, maybe not prevented, uhh

But you went to jail, the place of your residence was a prison
While the only lengthy sentences I get are from my diction

When you broke out of your cell you tried your heist again in hopes of doing better
And repetition really ruffles my feathers


Feathers Verse 2 

That’s enough, let’s flash back to your past, you were a lab assistant
Smashing tons of crap and getting chastised by your master

In fact, you broke the glass that made the Powerpuffs by accident
So Daddy kicked out and you went back to the lab again

And then you thought you’d found a prime mate for companionship
But she was just a plant, and she ordered a banana split

You’re really weak, if I got cheated by some madam
I would never feel a pain in my soul, ‘cause I don’t have one

You must be sad, being an unwanted villain is crazy
I’d suggest you call the Hotline, but you’re beyond saving

So how about I put you out the misery you’re facing
As I finally take a shot at a mad scientist, say "cheese”

Narrator
So once again the day is saved, thanks to…
Feathers McGraw the evil penguin?
I don’t like the ramifications of this one


Mojo Jojo vs Feathers McGraw. PowerPoint Rap Battles

night calls U.mp3

WATCH THE YOUTUBE VERSION:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW-EtHrBHBQ

Urban Legend Rap Battles is a side series hosted on Eddie's Rap Channel featuring characters of modern and ancient folklore alike. Characters from Creepypasta, Cryptozoology, the SCP Foundation, Folklore, Gaming Mythos and more are all permitted.

DeegleNV as Wario Apparition
J. as Herobrine

Herobrine:
Back in 2010 a single screenshot was taken
And I cemented myself as the gaming urban legend demon
Flash forward a decade and now the trend scaring gamers
Is some low-effort copypasta with its origins in memeing?
I can’t believe it, I’ve seen OCs with more passion
I’ll make your tears streaming, about to speedrun this rap and
It takes a whole team and hours of debugs and patching
Just for you to see that you cannot remove the classic
This fatso’s got so many chunks to load, the game is freezing
So come chase me down my 2x2s if you can even squeeze in
Keep roaming in the subconscious ‘till you’re forgotten by time
Salty and crying, nothing but anti-hero brine

Wario Apparition:
This mob’s mentality is corrupted to think he’s scaring me
But that verse was worse than a Minecraft parody
You’re a con like E3, but now the worst has arrived
You should know that every diss I spit is personalized
Take your tired whiner talk to my Dire Dire Docks
Where I fire miners off and leave ‘em fired worse than Notch
I’m a boss, you stink more than my Waft, and here’s the deal
It won’t take a source code leak for me to prove your L is real
A so called stalker and palette swap as a bad guy?
Your legend couldn’t get cornea if you had eyes
And you’re content to spook any random player that’s spawning in
You’re the tip of the iceberg, i’m the whole Ocean Monument
My garlic and gas will kick in to harness the rap i’m spitting
You’re hardly crafting a diss versus Wario Apparition
You’re irrelevant and old news - everybody wants to see me
While this dead brother is cared about even less than Luigi

Herobrine:
This head is creeping, appearing for any reason cuz he’s
Jealous he will never get a peep at Princess Peach’s Nether region
Warn me about seeing you for the side effects? Please, bro
Looking down on you’s only stroking my ego
This Apparition’s unable to Cope-land - Not punchin’ trees when i’m saying i’ll throw hands
Your meme is growing so slow, it’s in Soul Sand, as expected when your origin’s 4chan
I’m gaming’s stalwart monster - burning brighter than lava
While this Italian is held up on his creepy pasta

Wario Apparition:
Enter this retextured painting, no escaping this entity
I’ll leave you seeing more stars than it takes for you to get to me
Your builds will all be demoed and after i’m done rapping
They’ll have to add “Herobrine Removed.” back in the patches

Written by Eddiefrb
Coverart by Rabi
Illustrations by BMB
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Mastered by Sebb
Beat prod. by ThatKidGoran

Wario Apparition vs Herobrine - Urban Legend Rap Battle

The official SoundCloud account for SIR Rap Battles! Here you can access my library of rap battle audios, both with and without videos, as well as remixes of other battles.

Wolverine vs Cloud Strife. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. RecD & Rosenthal)

SIR Rap Battles

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