The most iconic Nintendo characters in history, battle-tested heroes who have forged a formidable legacy in the video game industry, collide in a rap battle.

WAN as Mario 
RaccoonBroVA as Link 
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan and the SIR Rap Battles Crew
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Anywaywell Beats
Cover art by JK03

Link (0:21):
Savior of Hyrule, I'll be taking all of your hearts
When I'm making sure that I rule this rap track like Mario Kart
And if maybe her - the Peachy one - gets kidnapped and trapped way too often
It's mainly to run away from ya, with how soft your Octorok is
I'm commencing the bombings, Sheikah Slate
You ought to escape to your pizza place
I'm dropping the gauntlets, you cannot stop this
Don't have the Courage to see the face
Of the man who defined what Adventure is like
You redefined how to lose to this knight
Who won the Game of the Year between us?
The one about hats or the one climbing heights?
Keep storming ghostly houses, still held captive by King Boo
If Luigi can Jump better, Man, who even really needs you?
Let’s see you execute a verse like the countless toads you’ve slayed
You can call me April 1st cause I’m leaving you erased

Mario (1:05):
Mamma-mia, Link! I expected more from an appointed champion
Always one jump ahead of you; the gaming industry I’m carrying
Very cheap-cheap with Rupees, vandalising many houses
And made Zelda feel remorseful, even bluer than my trousers
I stomp in this matchup so hard, it’s like an infinite 1-up
Unlike you, cleaning a town’s the only time I bring a Great F.L.U.D.D
Here’s a tough pill to swallow, I drop better puzzles than you could
Zelda didn’t want to pull your Master Sword but you still haven’t Lost Wood
I find it quite ironic that you’re meant to rep the light
When your Netflix series never got to see the Sunshine
This Keebler Elf failed to stop the Calamity, you're too-a weak
So boring, your next lines will put me into a century of sleep!

Link (1:50):
Check your Historia, I can see why you're seen as an enemy
Cause’ you’re trying to wipe out DK’s offspring like they were my memories
You fail to see your shortcomings, all the fame and praise is consuming you
You'll be another silent-type once I join your Wrecking Crew
Luigi is trying his best to be greater, yet you shove him aside like a tool
Doubt I can spit when the only punches you throw’s on the Yoshi that saved you
(Hyaa!) He made you grow up to be the world’s biggest gaming figure
But you dropped him to the void, and gave him the middle finger
  
Mario (2:19):
I'm used to handling babies, with all your shouts and screams
But not the fact that you were robbing gravestones as a teen
Threatened Hyrule by releasing Ganon when you pulled the demon’s bane
When you fight Ghirahim, you're like my mobile games: free to play!
For an elf that was shelved, I thought you’d have better rapping
I’m-a throw my hat into the ring and win! No Cappy.
Your Sword went Skyward but your ratings dropped harder than Thwomps
Jump you with these koopa shells; Mario just made your hearts stop (Yahoo!)

Mario vs Link. SIR Rap Battles (ft. WAN and RaccoonBro)

Space princesses who rebel against galactic empires aboard iconic spaceships.

BrookeMorganVA as Rosalina
garbageGothic as Princess Leia 
Special Inquisitor Rayyan as Luma
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 
Additional writing help by the SIR Rap Battles Crew
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell

This battle is kinda long, so here's the doc for the lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s-U-ZhmTb9-bu0wAzAt2FZTbvjhwh6XwxmA1dOE-GPU/edit?usp=sharing

Rosalina vs Leia. SIR Rap Battles (ft. BrookeMorganVA and garbageGothic)

The authors of unknown and incomprehensible horrors face off in a rap battle.

JustGamer as Junji Ito
Tony Rigatoni as H. P. Lovecraft (video)
RaccoonBroVA as H. P. Lovecraft (audio)
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan. Oofie, MaviKartal2003
Additional writing help by Cri, WDRB and M&Matt 
Research done by MaviKartal2003
Edited by Oofie and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Beatg33kz
Cover art by KCToons

Junji Ito (0:15):
Ito’s flow gets dough you didn't know
So I’ll hit you with unseen horrors
Walk through my rap mountain and be a tourist
You made the mold, now like Amigara, I’mma leave it broken!
Notice, how an inspiration
Like my own set of manga collection
Able to beat your whole sheet of mythical beasts
With classics like Uzamaki and Tomie! 
Yeah sure, later on you had an impact
But from your early life, you were in fact
Never able to sustain yourself
Until you died, dust stayed on your shelves
For Lovecraft’s entire life, he was far too poor and sickly
Many games came from his work, but Howard couldn’t keep his HP

H. P. Lovecraft (0:44):
From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.
The lines recited were hypocrisy when even YOU look up to me!
Horrors were actually scary back when
I was in charge, and not this sick man’s discharge
But now the OG H.P. is back in 
Can’t stand up to me even with legs on fish, sharks!
I crafted a genre, shocked readers for ages
Instilling dismay when they’re flipping the pages
A shame, you lent your work to Kojima’s game
Then it all went to shit and it left fans outrageous 
I summon ocean flow that crashes down harder than Cthulhu
whereas you flopped even harder than the anime horror collection’s debut!
Lovecraft’s the horror god! Show you this roarer’s thoughts
This wit doesn’t miss, forging the motherfuckin’ Necronomicon
Fostering these flocks of hellspawn
The juggernaut of fear, undermine whatever you have drawn
Writing talent that just can’t be likened
Make like your finale and storm out here frightened 
Dental technician but you pack no bite
Ito’s got a kickin’ from this hallow’s fright!

Junji Ito (1:28):
Those fillers in your rap made it drier than City of Pillars
But judging from my manga Shiver, they’ll call me a serial killer
You went from the Nameless City 
To the readers going: “Name less shit, please!”
With those mythos, you couldn’t spit flow
Your films were a shitshow, it shows!
Can’t keep up the pace, of course you’re a race-ist
Who couldn’t give needs to his family for days, and
You only cursed the paper writing on it
While HP still haunts paper across the nation!
That tumour had left you for dead (Ah!)
Gyo is filled up with dread! (Ah!)
The cats have all become my friends (Aw!)
But with your cat’s name: enough said! (Ah...)

H. P. Lovecraft (1:57):
How can your little Inside Story cast a Shadow Over the Titan of Horror? 
When every story in your inventory's simply body gore porn? (Eugh…)
I got pitted against a peculiar lonely fanatic of cats
Who’s eaten from so much of my work: call you Junji Itadakimasu!
A Beast In The Cave and a beast on the beat
Shan’t need The Alchemist to Love-craft your defeat
Junji’s just jealous that he can’t compete
When I’ve got whole subgenres named after me
Seen better Uzumakis from Naruto, so what makes you think you’re superior?
But now I end this rap battle as the Cthulhu to this inferior!

Junji Ito vs H.P. Lovecraft. SIR Rap Battles (ft. JustGamer & RaccoonBroVA)

King Mewtwo as Matthew Hopkins
Malina Rose as Homura Akemi
Crowd vocals by Zagranis
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Edited by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Trunxks Beats

Homura Akemi (0:10):
As time passes by, humanity’s memory of you fades away even more
I’m packing grenades and guns galore, the only ‘bang’ that you know is on people’s doors
You’re not officially in the position to hunt down witches and cumulate fame
I know I'm proficient in dishing out flames, as though it's written in my very name!
Those pitchforks and torches are shit talk, not morbid
Go bitch more in forests ‘bout witches and how they're so horrid
While I keep the bombs in my storage
And drop them on Hopkins for being distorted
In his own desires to purge part of England from a threat that doesn't exist 
You got a legacy tainted by sin and your rapport with God is now sailing adrift

Matthew Hopkins (0:37):
It seems we've got competition, men, you best stay put while I step to this 
If one single wish can destroy your world, I don't even need the gallows to end a bitch!
Your show’s Groundhog Day for edgy teens; depressing, bleak, how exciting (Wow!)
So apprehensive for the girl you protect, you even leave her frightened!
SO WEAK! Your incompetence amuses, abusing your power just to fail once again?
NO SLEEP! Being restless for Madoka’s sake, then watched as she met her end
SHOW ME what you're made of, girl! That's the mark of a witch if you lack any feeling 
OH, PLEASE! Spare me from your crying, did she reshape your Universe into Steven’s?
(Ugh) You went from a slice of life, to a psychological thriller (What?!)
Mami spilled the tea on your genre twist as soon as Bebe killed her (Yeah)
Even with your heart condition, you could never kill a beat
Retreat back to your barren realm as I patrol these haunted streets

Homura Akemi (1:18):
Imposed a stigma on yourself, don’t point garden tools at me (sigh)
Your lines are rife with superstitious shit like Daemonologie
If I wanted to trust a Hopkins, I’d rather go with Lecter
I’ll abuse you like the bottle that got hit by your director!
The beta version of the Metropolitan Police 
Admonish your practices while I polish my technique
Freeze time! Turning back the tides with a bullet dance
You remind me of Sayaka-chan, you can’t come back
Inspired by the work of a hypocrite who puts his citizens through hell
Damn, not even a Grief Seed could purify your putrid heart as well

Matthew Hopkins (1:46):
How sad, you dragged on that rap verse longer than your transformation scenes
The only pain you could deal’s seizures to the epileptics, please
Defending a whiny, shite bitch, and you claim that is your ‘soul’ purpose?
She’s ascending to mighty heights while you’re stranded on Earth, worthless

Homura Akemi (1:59):
Dare speak her name with such distaste? You’re bound to face ill fate’s embrace!
The Incubators could show me their hateful ways, but any trace of you’s vague
Based your career on false accusations 
But it can’t be more disgraceful than your adaptation
On screen, you bring shame to your nation
They’ll mark your defeat as a grand celebration!

Matthew Hopkins (2:13):
You treat the lives of the magical girls like they’re more stepping stones in your quest for her love
But they still could not stop you from transforming into the very same foe that I’m destined to hunt 
Walpurgis Night locked you in a cycle of endless strife and sacrifice
Now we’re both falling into the darkness, any wish always comes at a price

Matthew Hopkins vs Homura Akemi. SIR Rap Battles (ft. King Mewtwo & Malina Rose)

Zagranis as Geometry Dash
MetalFireVA as Polybius
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional writing help by E Man, JK03, Oofie, Danger Dolphin 101, Grenade
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Dansonn

Geometry Dash (0:16):
Sliding in from the screen, it's GD with the clean flows 
You got skeptics writing ‘bout you, I got mean prose
Jump over any hurdle, I can beat a weak foe
That was only really known when ported to PC, though
You better mind your own craft fronting this block
When the dash champ’s Back on Track, man, I hip-hop (Uh)
Any trace of this faux game got killed off
‘Cause the feds figured no one’d want to play your shit, dawg
You should withdraw from this battle facing me
Rip off consoles like you took a bite from ‘83
Oregon’s the place to be for all the bullshit fanatics
I’d have the Men in Black wipe my mind if I have to hear you rapping
(Yeah) You vanished ‘fore players could even press start
The only beat you’d ever drop is a heart’s
I’m RobTopping game stores
A pixelated mess is what players have to pay for?

Polybius (0:49):
I thought you’d be able to square off with your shape but I see those disses were Lite
Like all of your trashy spinoffs that deserve to be sent to a landfill site
I’m the urban legend paradigm when it comes to the fear that I elevate (elevate)
You make gamers bash their brains in, and I thought I gave them headaches (headaches)
You're so fucking cheap, all I'd need are CD keys
Try to put a high score in, you’ll collapse to PB
Beat me? That's Madness! On a Stereo track, I’m
Leaving you shattered like the hearts of your players, guy
Seems that you're lacking in the new content they desire
Regurgitating games and levels that are uninspired
I rock consoles, your dev’s stuck in deadlock
Ironic this block can’t xStep onto Xbox

Geometry Dash (1:22):
Yeah, this migraine should've just stayed a claim
Cause the ports made you go from baseless to debased
All it takes is common cents for one to declare the truth
Evil Otto proved to be a bigger scare than you!
Unlike the spikes that I dodge, you couldn't get to the point 
But now I'm making like Scott, leave ageing boxes destroyed
I was born a modern mobile gaming classic
You were born from a sleep deprivation challenge!
 
Polybius (1:39):
Instilling Meltdowns in the depths of the brain
While you got none ripping off The Impossible Game
And try not to rage, kid, when I end this Bloodbath
So mischievous, even Loki notices - top that!
It's taken more than 4 years, still no update
At this sluggish pace, your game's never getting done, ay
This was another failed attempt to supersede me
GD’s taken the biggest crash since E.T.

Geometry Dash Vs Polybius. SIR Rap Battles: Sidequests (ft. Zagranis & MetalFireVA)

it's my birthday woooooooo

Azia as Aya Drevis (Mad Father)
Light as Kazuya Mishima (Tekken)
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional writing help by JK03 and E Man
Mixed by Light
Art by LimJJ & Xoniq
Beat by Trunxks 

Aya (0:13):
Father told me of a warrior, a once fierce-spirited youth
Who used to train with Jinpachi free from corrupt corporations 
He was raised then with compassion by a mother that her love abused 
Now he keeps his traumas locked away like a corpse in a basement!
Face it, you're a broken shell from all the scars you accumulated in the past
It’s Mad, how you’re pulling off all these strings on your son - no wonder you can’t be attached!
(Uh) You're cursed with a Rage Drive; all the hate, strife that you built up will not phase mine
For your dated franchise, spewing out the same plot ‘bout a bunch of lame guys always vying to take lives
Your fame cannot take flight, even sprouting wings
When it comes to frontrunners, they're crowning Jin (Ooh!)
Bad blood runs deep in the veins of your kin
Man, Ogre’s holy water could not cleanse your sins
Don’t even need a Mini Chainsaw for me to be offing this
Been dropping hits since 2012, you were just dropped off a cliff!

Kazuya (0:52):
A fight is about who is left standing, nothing else... 
But you best run away like you always do before this devil brings hell 
Beat me? I'll just come back like a Phoenix if you give me the drop 
You’re a bigger nuisance than Paul, BUT I WON’T LET THIS END IN A DRAW!
(AAAAARGH!) DON’T DARE TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU’RE PASSIVE 
(ARGH!) WHEN YOU SMITE CATS FOR SATISFACTION! 
(ARGH!) YOU WENT AND BURNED DOWN YOUR WHOLE MANSION
(ARGH!) BUT COULDN’T PACK FLAMES IN YOUR RAPPING!
(ARGH!) I SHOULD’VE BEEN GIVEN A CHALLENGE
(ARGH!) NOT A BLAND, PSYCHOPATHIC DISTRACTION! 
I LET MY FATHER DESCEND INTO A PIT
YOURS MADE YOU TAKE A DESCENT INTO MADNESS!
(ARGH!) Step to the Iron Fist? Don't try it, bitch!
Daddy made you a doll ‘cause you're fucking lifeless!
I'll come for your throat, leave you choking on your lines
But no pain could be true retribution for your crimes
Inducing ill patients to visit your clinic
So you can just kill ‘em and finish your twisted
endeavours to fulfill your promise to him?
Your victims aren't the only ones that are sick!

Aya (1:31):
I let my father do his work, but I just can't forgive your experiments 
Putting boxing gloves on dinosaurs, you call THAT the peak of science?

Kazuya (1:38)
Dealt with Dio, but I’ll be the one leaving you steamrollered
So go tell my son that on a track, “Dein Vater Mörder” (HA!)

Aya (1:45):
Mother told me that I shouldn't ever try to tell lies:
Her perfume couldn't even make your sweaty players smell nice!
Conditioned to be dauntless but you won't be when I fight you
If you wish to see the face of fear, look behind you…
You got a girl pregnant then left her rejected
Effective in violence? Only when it’s domestic!
Neglected since birth, man your torment is endless
No wonder you snapped worse than your mother’s neck did! (hehehe…)
Being strapped to a rocket’s the only time you'll take off 
What a tragic fate - the one person you loved wanted this total waste of space offed!

Kazuya (2:10):
Your own maid left you slain so she can stay as Alfred’s mistress
I joined the ranks of Smash, you can’t even lift your mother’s Spirits!
Shattered your humanity and morals when your father died
Now I'll make like Monika and DRAG YOU TO THE AFTERLIFE!
(evil laughter)

Aya Drevis vs Kazuya Mishima. SIR Rap Battles (ft. Azia & Light)

Azia as Sayori 
garbageGothic as Sayaka
JesseBox as Monika
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional writing help by Triple-Stabber, ChandlerCCRB, E Man, MetaMachine, Grenade, JK03 and RaccoonBroVA
Edited by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell
Art by ZodiacKiaran

Sayori (0:15):
I hope I’m not late again hopping onto this beat, you can call me Sayori
Now I’d show you around these parts but you even lost me with that twisted story 
Your gang’s lacking in attendance; unlike Mami, you’re marked in
You fell in love with a violin boy, but all he can do is play with your heartstrings (Oh!)
As a magical girl, you're incompetent 
You would've died twice if Akemi wasn't dropping in
Stopping fights, you're only known for causing ‘em
I better call your anime a cake, the way that I'm topping it! (Ayy!)
The M-VP of DDLC
If you're stuck on writing a good verse, just tell me!
‘Cause I do not want this fight to be a tragedy
Like the broken world you call Your Reality

Sayaka (0:45):
For a girl with such an appetite, you’ve got no taste in men
You’d rather romance lonely nerds than try to hang out with your friends
Your plushes are more lively than you sleeping in your sheets
Can’t get up out of your mattress? Fitting for a perfect weeb’s dream!
It’s a shame you’ve got no love to come out and play 
Even I couldn’t wish away your rainy days!
Erased by the president, her acts set a precedent
For you to come and meddle with the code just to get with him
You’d only bring flames if it involved your house
Milked so much by YouTubers, call your game Mr. Cow
After a year, interest in your story fell through
Like players opened the door, and then just walked out the room 

Sayori (1:14): 
Turned down and planted in your heart a Grief Seed that would grow
Into your own enemy, man you reap what you sow
Pop off like a jar lid when I'm speaking my prose
Who needs swords with that edge? You're so bleak in your show
Departed from the mortal plane 
After hunting down witches for just a few days
Went separate ways ‘cause you couldn't get praise
From Kyousuke; like your soul gem, your hope’s thrown away
 
Sayaka (1:29):
You couldn't get the heart of the MC, so what makes you think that you're an emcee?
In a tragic turn of events, she had her happy file deleted out of jealousy
Which lead to her lacking any sort of self-esteem, so keep on tryna’ run that mouth
And this shut-in will be another one of Dan's Projects to shut down! 

Sayori (1:44):
Ugh… please… just get out of my head…

Sayaka (1:47): 
Huh, Sayori? Are you okay?
 
Monika (1:49): 
All she need's a little rest.

Sayaka (1:51):
Who’s that?!

Monika (1:52):
Oh, don't worry about me, dear! Everything is fine!
This battle needs a spice up, let's just say I'll make things “amplified”
 
Sayori (1:59):
My whole life is worthless, I don't deserve fighting against a poor girl sacrificing her soul
For the one that she loves who was dating her best friend instead and was left a shell with no control
Her sanity’s fragile like a character file
Unlike the last Sayaka, you’re not dodging this trial
Now I finally know what your crush has gone through
Cause you've tortured me with the songs you spewed!

Sayaka (2:14):
Talk so much ‘bout chests, you should get suspended
End this in a snap like Natsuki’s neck did
You put your feelings in a Bottle then you broke it
This zero thought she won but it wasn’t in the coding
Your fate was predetermined if your third eye couldn't tell
Monika didn't let you tie the knot so you did it around yourself...

Sayori vs Sayaka Miki. SIR Rap Battles (ft. Azia & garbageGothic)

JesseBox as Vert
Special Inquisitor Rayyan as Shamrock Shake
Written by JK03 
Chiseled by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Edited by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat rearrangement by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Cover art by JK03
Special thanks to JK03

Vert (0:15): 
Oh my, am I seeing this right? It seems that this drink here’s attempting to dunk me
Made for St. Patrick’s Day but stepping up to me? You must be quite unlucky
Polluting tummies, the deity of diabetes, while this deity is repping the Xbox
A Vanilla shake with a dose of green, you really put the “sham” in “shamrock!” (Ohh!)
You got no abilities, mine are countless! Came from the Windy City, but I got the wind prowess  
Cower in shame, ‘cause your limited offers couldn’t keep a single McDonald’s crowded!
You dropped the citrus flavor, but your lack of fans must be leaving you sour
Now I am leaving all of your poor contents spilled once you see this CPU’s true power!
This cold drink’s Victory’s looking Iffy, should’ve known challenging me is blasphemy
You might have the “Mc” in your café, but I’m the real HDD MC!
Chilling up here in Celestia, while you can’t reach my height, call it Vert-igo!
Couldn’t handle my flow, so go and put an O between your initials

Shamrock Shake (0:59):
Oh no, a Barbie doll wants to fight! This milkshake’s totally shakin’!
Your games barely make a profit, while McDonald’s rolling in the green I’m makin’ (Woo!)
Talk about fanservice, jeez, you literally shove them in the face!
This dirty per-Vert will be wiped clean, guess you could call me Shamwow Shake!
I’m having this eyesore shut down; I don’t need a Red Ring of Death
‘Cause what I’m spitting is sweet pudding flow, guess you could call me  Nep-Nep!
Your skill’s like your sister ‘cause she’s nonexistent; you’re stealing siblings just for a connection?
Serving my bars fresh like it’s mint condition while your style’s more broken than a Kinect, son!
You’re fixated with playing your games, you would ditch your country to be wasting away
And it goes without saying, I’ve got lines for days while you only got weebs pining over your shape! 

Vert (1:36):
Now you’re truly pushing your luck, flopped worse than your sundae product (Yeah!)
The only kind of drip you’ll ever get is green artificial syrup! 

Shamrock Shake (1:43):
Bitch, I stay chill out the counter, you get overheated from my abusive words
So don't lose your nerve when you're stepping to me or I'm gunning you down like Lil Uzi Vert! (Ha!)

Vert (1:51):
How much longer do we have to continue this foolish battle?
‘Cause your bars are so Blanc and basic, battling you’s not worth the hassle! (Nope!)
Drink from you? It’s like having a McFlurry alongside some toothpaste
I’m sorry, my dear, but I always preferred tea as a drink anyway

Shamrock Shake (2:05):
(Hey!) Your personality falls flat, more vanilla than me at best, man!
You got shares so low that Chika’s the only one who’s giving you some attention, damn
Your franchise’s on the decline ‘cause they’d rather rehash your first game three times
So 4GO the win and forfeit, I just took this bore of a goddess offline! (Ohh!)

Vert vs. Shamrock Shake. SIR Rap Battles Sidequests (ft. JesseBoxVO)

Snakebite126 as Flowey
Quizzique as Marx
Written by Triple-Stabber
Chiseled by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by jort
Beat by Kustom
Cover art by M!CAH
Art by M&Matt

Flowey:
Howdy clownie, I am Flowey, wow you found me down the underground and
Golly! How about we lounge around the town and now we
Will become the best of friends
And something you should know of
That my lines are made with love
So you better - run into em!
Gee! It's quite funny that a jester can't stand up
Rolling on a ball, but you can't hop on this track, bud
You were blown up in a supernova
Future shows this useless foe was thrown 
and dude your owners used your trope for Magalor, stupid joker, 
I refuse to go and fuse with your Soul!

Marx:
Hey hey hey Kirby, look a flower's out and about
Devour him but I doubt you'd gain powers, so I'mma just out em without a plough
Just look at this plant, your roots' in the grass, you can't run the underground
I'd throw shade but I'll just wait til you wilt when the sun goes down
Oh, some lonesome crop is going photoshop? Oh no!
My total darkness tops the Hopes and Dreams of you owning your plot
Had the whole of Popstar beat, you never seen that as a kid cuz
Your parents and the kingdom made like my face: SPLIT UP!

Flowey:
Wow, with that black hole in your mouth, that verse sucked
You wished to be a God but you still couldn't beat Kirb up
Now this jester wants a fight? Hmm, this seems familiar
But besides that, being God's a wonderful idea!
WHAT AN IDIOT!
This demented jester messed up when he met a friend, 
the fella had tell em better get a wish, lies he fed and set him up
Next he's stepping in, entered in his wish
Menacing in this then Kirby ended him
So if you don't wanna be beat
Man, you shoulda just wished you were me!

Marx:
BUT NO! I wished to be G.O.A.T the control this whole land not a goat who got thrown in the dirt
I emerged as a bat, you just turned to a plant with a circle attack, and let's talk about that verse
That you spat, man, how does this plant not have his raps on point?! (hehehe)
Instead he's the prick: a thorn in side, and I won't let it slide
I’ll kill your ass with some pesticide!
And that whole damn philosophy "kill or be killed" was just really a shield
For a bit he was feeling this fear that was building
He saw the real villain and yielded, he quivered and reeled 
It was genocide and he was gonna die
Called to his friend and cried "please do not end my life"
Quickly willed them to spare him but, then
The sibling had killed, with no Chara-bout him (HAHAHAHA!)

Flowey vs Marx (ft. Snakebite126 & Quizzique). SIR Rap Battles

Simply Yuki as Tressa
JesseBox as Anna
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 
Additional writing help by JK03
Edited by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat: Vefam by Kustom
Thumbnail by JK03

Tressa (0:10):
Business is open! Now who’s my opponent? A sellout was chosen to rival my shop?
The mascot of FE couldn’t join the Smash roster, no wonder nobody is taking your stocks!
Stacking up the gold like I be piling up the bodies
Fighting bosses with my buddies while you’re just another copy
Of your siblings, don’t miss hits, I spit sick like Alfyn did
Sitting in ships, you’re just shipped with a Robin, bitch
Travelled through Osterra and I met a lot of terrible people, but they really cannot ever compare
To this beggar who endeavours to sell better with her games, but finding half her series on a shelf is rare! (Ohhhh!)
My company defined the genre that you’re placed in 
The fruits of our labour? You ate, bit!
Facing my Tradewinds, your luck can’t evade it
Left Jake for the main lord, and greatly betrayed him (Ayy! x8)
 
Anna (0:48):
Be careful, love! I drop more than prices in a fight
If I can tip the scales, then surely I can turn the Ripple-tides
All your life you were sheltered, stuck to filling up the shelves
Guess your parents never taught you how to spit a rhyme as well (Ayy!)
The biggest bargain you could make is your own life
Barging in on bandits not knowing a thing on how to fight
I bet you can't even afford some common cents with that gem
So dependent, you should call up Ali to save your ass again (Yeah!)
When the stakes are raised, I profit off it! (Uh!)
You're prone to make mistakes, and often plummet! 
I'm known for leading hordes of fabled monarchs into war
You could only rally ruffians to carry out your chores! (Ohhh!)

Tressa (1:17):
For someone who likes gold, you surely aren't the brightest 
Claim to be successful as a seller? I don’t buy it!
‘Cause you’re just coming up short like your army’s fragile budget
You keep pining for another dime; make like a price and cut it! 
No change could spare your awful remakes on DS
Your games speak for themselves: Fire Emblem is BS
Just another Anna in a sea of greedy merchant goons
It’s a shame really, not even your child could remember you!

Anna (1:36): 
Jacking classic RPG styles, dear? Don't try it!
But I should be used to dueling with a pirate
Tyrants, I can fight ‘em, and you’re not any different 
When it comes to littering a game with add-ons, you're insistent! 
Money ain’t your Default option pilfering from baddies, see
‘Cause stealing from Bravely was your main gameplay strategy!
Our Decisive Battle ends here, so close up shop, honey
Take notes from Graham, should’ve known to never Cross me! (Cha-ching!)

Tressa Colzione vs. Anna (Fire Emblem). SIR Rap Battles Sidequests (ft. Simply Yuki & JesseBoxVO)

JustGamer as Scott the Woz
RaccoonBroVA as Nitro Rad 
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional writing help by Gizmo, JustGamer, TheDangerStranger and JK03 
Chiseled by Tommy Salommy
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat arrangement + Additional instruments by Glitch
Cover art by M!CAH

Scott the Woz (0:13):
Hey all, Scott here and- aww shit, it's you again
The guy who makes up for the dent in his wallet by chasing YouTube trends 
It's true he tends to bash on Jimmy Neutron with his “Rad” takes
But he couldn't make his sub count take off even if he used AdSpace!
Serve a square in a rap like a Wendy’s Employee
Reviewing games nobody knows? Man, you bore me!
Your content’s shovelware I’d find on the Wii 
Viewers digging through garbage: Bubsy 3D
Oh please, those tweets are a pain to read through
Nobody loves you - I should call you the Wii U!
Push my buttons and you're taking Ls
Like you played Amiibo Festival, ring a bell?
You graduated film school and acquired a lot of debt for your loans 
I spent my dough better on piles of Chips Ahoy for a joke!
Parodied the Andre show (Oh!)
But your humour just lacked taste though (Oh!)
The second channel you own (Oh?)
That shit absolutely BLOWS! (OHH!)

Nitro Rad (0:54):
For a guy who hates Breath of the Wild, I thought you'd spit more bitter
Now I'm taking over this battle like it's your Twitter
Screaming over Chibi-Robo, no surprise you're the Nerd’s successor
But you can't really write so you’ll just border lines forever (Ayy!)
You're a wannabe sitcom, with no budget
So just like your little dumb beard, you should cut it (Oh!)
No one wants to watch a video ‘bout the box
If you're Wozniak, Scott, then I'm Steve Jobs!
It's a Bargain Bin Christmas, the way you litter your vids with
Shitty skits that are just witless; my guy, there's no way you'll win this
Cause I'm Nitro Rad! (Yeah!) Killing this YouTube game better than you have
Musically amateur with the crap you sang, go and ask Brady if I make a funnier short film than you can!
And you pack no beef, makes sense you hang with vegans
But it's not the first time that I'm leaving Mario players beaten! (Yeah!)

Scott the Woz (1:35):
Are my tastes just bad? Am I the one to blame?
Or is it that James’ vids are DUMB and LAME?
Got my skits to TV, there’s like nothing that I can’t do
Took over JonTron on Reddit, you can't even crush an Ant, Dude!
This Rayman fan couldn't hope to disarm me
Content so repetitive, like Wii’s iCarly!
You'd only get by selling out with shirts
While I support a good cause when I'm dishing out merch!
It's Awesome, Baby, how you keep striving to prove your worth
But the only time you'd break a leg is with the Madden curse!

Nitro Rad (2:03):
Sure, you landed on TV but don't forget how it all happened
Only managed to gain traction through the shoutouts that you salvaged
I'll go Zip Lash at a has-been showered in copies of Madden
Let me spit facts: this rap is just like Tinder, we're no match, bitch!
I'll be Fatally Framed for this beating I'm giving; I've been Breaking Boundaries while you're shilling Gex
Your panel is something I couldn't attend even if you stopped acting like a nervous wreck
Unlike your virginity, Scott, you’ve lost this battle (Oh!)
So go ahead and suck my floppy Fortnite dick, asshole!

Scott the Woz vs Nitro Rad. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. RaccoonBroVA & JustGamer)

Azia as Lofi Girl 
RaccoonBroVA as Kousei Arima
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Light
Beat by Epistra
Cover art by M!CAH
Art in Cover Art by Charles Draws

Lofi Girl (0:13)
Uh, could you quiet down please? I'm trying to revise
At least so I can put my mind to writing lines to fight this guy
I'd turn my headphones up a little to drown out your music
But it's useless when you'd do it to yourself, all 'cause your trauma's ruthless! 
(Hit it)
You really just don't know when to quit it
With living in the past like a haunted spirit
As a child, your skill built you a positive image
But you tore it apart in your music exhibit
It took a dying girl to push your limits
But you didn't wanna pay her visit
When she fought for her life with her failing condition
Just 'cause you were jealous of her friend, what a dimwit
My pen game’s divine, man, check my assignments 
A's all around, you fall flat in the C (sea) that you're trapped in
Your whole life, you've come across violence/violins
Both from the love and the mom which you're lacking 
Face the facts, kid, your existence is tragic, you get beaten up everywhere you go  
And gave your fans a sour taste in their mouths, like you just played them one of your notes

Kousei (0:54):
I often feel trapped, yes, but you're no exception 
Forced to listen to the same songs on repeat 24/7
I can sense the torment in you, your soul’s gradually decaying
Even I don't suffer that much from the music I've been playing (Uh)
You're counterproductive, waving a pen back and forth will not get you the grades that you strive for
None of the tests you've prepared and revised for could compare to all the demons that I've fought
Sleep, you're deprived of, while I am simply unrivaled if we talk musical style
The pianist idol, you just sit idle slaving away with your notes in a cycle
Took over ChilledCow’s channel but you ain't got any beef
You're telling me this Miyazaki reject is my enemy?
Quit selling me your vinyls with recycled compositions
Jade, don't mess with me - in song I'm known to crush my opposition! (Ohhh!)

Lofi Girl (1:36):
I'm taking notes, you can't hear ‘em; to Ryota, you're an interference 
Between him and the girl that you're missing, lied to up until her disappearance 
Feared you couldn't play like you once did; fell from the pedestal that people put you on
No wonder you kept beating yourself up with such an abusive mom 
Don't you get it, Kousei? It's your fate 
Everyone that you love’s being taken away
Couldn't find time with Tsubaki to play
‘Cause you were too busy getting slapped in the face (Ay!)
I can see why you and Kaori match
You're the brains to her brawn ‘cause a brain’s what she lacks
Nothing measures up to the scale of your strife;
All the joy that you’ve felt were short-lived like her life

Kousei (2:02):
I've been taught by the best to not do my worst
And I've caught the attention of all to my work
Jade, you've fought to impress them and leave them immersed
But you brought only dread like you sold them your merch
And I ought to address the barren way that you look
I'd bring more emotion to a keyboard than you could
Face it, you will never top me in fights
When I redesign that face like a copyright strike 
I’ve been moving people with my music since I was a kid
You’re stuck in the same spot for schoolwork, hoping you don’t fail at it
No family in sight to shed any shred of remorse
Just a Whisper to our Hearts, and it's time I finally silenced yours (Shhhh)

Lofi Girl vs Kousei Arima. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. Azia & RaccoonBroVA)

Toni Rigatoni as Colonel Sanders
K.C. as Starbucks Siren
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 
Additional writing help by 3ple, Theme Park Avenue, Leo Barqui & KCToons
Mixed by Serena
Art by 3ple
Beat by Jake Angel Beats
Cover art by M!CAH
Special thanks to 3ple

Sanders:
Back from the grave to come batter this dame, I'll be fryin’ her under pressure, God
You're half of my age; though I'm graspin’ a cane, still a master at runnin’ a restaurant 
Here’s a fact you can't face: the batch of lattes that you're servin’ are lackin’ in taste 
You tactless disgrace, how you gonna outrun my business when you've got problems with handling race?
Got finger lickin’ rhymes to rebuke this siren so I advise you to stay muted, silent
Just like the tired workers you choose to fight with, all to prevent them from unionisin’
Food’s appetizin’ here, unlike your venue’s
Won't need whipped cream to be toppin’ your menus
Your frappuchinos, I'll quickly spit it
‘Cause I'd get diabetes from a single sip in

Starbucks:
Oh please, I won't be taking a lecture from you on how I'm imparting sweets 
When one single bite of your greasy chicken would clog up all of my arteries 
I'm finishing you like your mash, done in an instant with all of the flow that I got
I find it surprising you're grasping the mic, when you've had troubles in holding a job!
But I’ll give this old man applause, he started a family rapidly falling apart
‘Cause at home, he's a fraud; left his first wife alone for so long that his own ass got dropped 
And that's only the start! Got a stroke of bad luck and I thought Ronald was the troubled clown
Had to watch as two of your fathers passed away, how's that for a Double Down? (Wooo!)

Sanders:
I'll say, those disses you're spittin’ felt like your biscuits - that shit’s tasteless 
Now I've dealt with my fair share of raw chickens, but even they weren't this naked
Must've Costa lot to be a little side dish; in the Grande scheme of cafés, you blow
I broke into the scene with the chicken I dish, you break into a scene when it's Game of Thrones!
Compared to me, like your skin you plainly pale
I could even top Popeye’s when I'm raisin’ sales
If we're talkin’ bringin’ spice, I’ll crank it to 11
Check the drip, I'm best suited to master this profession
So it - ain't no question when you fall shorter
‘Cause a small cup of coffee is a tall order
Can't decide on a size when Wi-Fi’s all you’re asked for
My image lives on, for you it's the last straw!

Starbucks:
What legacy? A recipe that they're neglecting? Please.
I asked your workers, they say scalding them’s your specialty
With how often you're marking headlines for your awful work scene, it's shocking
Not even I could stir up so much controversy that common!
I'd be surprised if you could land a single hit on me
This crotchety old man walks like he's rocking with some chicken feet
I've an awfully hot coffee pot and I'm dropping it all on a dishonest pop
Your title is nothing but pure poppycock, ‘cause you've never even been a fuckin’ army jock
So Colonel, you shoot a corny advert and then you
End up forgotten like your breakfast menu
Take your lifeless brand back to its gravesite
I’m dropping you quicker than the actors you’re played by
Spitting hotter Zingers that you can't avoid at all
And I'm shitting on your chicken like a famous toilet bowl
Don't need drumsticks to set a beat, your poultry’s gross, bitch
Kicked the bucket cause I left this old bean roasted!

KFC vs Starbucks. SIR Rap Battles Sidequests (ft. Toni Rigatoni & K.C.)

idk how the fuck im gonna edit this so here's an early audio release

RaccoonBroVA as Ozpin
Alex M. as Zanza
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan and Rosenthal
Mixed by Light
Beat by Dansonn
Temp cover art by Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JqQ-pcM16OXxGHELiBvnkZpU65OwPW0HBTlqnKOxQaA/edit?usp=sharing

Ozpin vs Zanza. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. RaccoonBroVA & Alex M.)

littleflecks as Henry VII
Quizzique as Scar
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Trunxks
Cover art by JotaSeis

Henry VII (0:13):
So, a godforsaken kitten’s the opponent that I’m rapping, huh?
I dominated England, now I shall expand to Africa
The jagged stone you killed over is nothing to the gold I hoard
Wit sharper than the sword I wield; after all, every Tudor Rose has its thorns!
I set out to accomplish my aims:
Remaining a king and defending my reign
From the pretenders saying that they’ve got a claim
They entered my terrain and I left them all slain
But you?
You had a single task and you blew it
Couldn’t kill Simba in youth and he left you in ruins
You were ruling over lions that were loathing your intrusion
So they led a revolution, finely ripping you a new one (Ugh!)
I backdated the Battle of Bosworth, rewriting history in my own name (Argh!)
I fire from cannons, you're fired from canon when you had your story reshaped (Sighs)
At least you made a handsome throw rug, being tossed aside for your brother
It's truly a circle of life when the hyenas you pained are making you suffer 
(YOU FOOL!)
This country would be nothing without me! I’m raising revenues while you desecrate your province
A tyrannical reign was your intent for usurpation but like any other Disney villain, your hide got the drop quick
I'm monstrous with bonds and recognizances, toppled a king, and fought to bring the prosperous in check 
This bitch should not cross with the might of a god; Hercules already went off with his head

Scar (1:08):
Oh? That was it? I expected a grander display from a noble
Now it’s time for me to fight back… like I was one of your locals 
And looking at you on a global scale,
You're a fourth-rate power, only lowly; frail
When facing foreign foes, you fail to be a threat
The only time you could ever spit sick’s on your deathbed!
You weren't surrounded by many men because you didn't have any friends
And your own son hated you so much that he wanted to erase any trace of them! (Argh!)
A disgrace no less; ruled a country that bathed in debt ‘cause he failed to best the French traitors:
Pests who were famed for desperately dodging conflicts yet you couldn't prevail against them!
A shame that you lived to a ripe old age
When half your kids couldn't make it past their childhood phase
While you’d hide for days in your chamber throwing lives away
I had to fight to keep the little rebel lions at bay
After your son ended up as lifeless prey
You were planning to take his loyal wife to mate
Unlike your budget, we don't have time to waste
Be prepared: another king is going to die today!

Henry VII (1:49)
Like Zazu, you've failed to entertain me with your lyrics, I'm bored now
You trapped that bird in a ribcage, it would be my pleasure to rip yours out!
Whether it's fans or your race, Scar, the only thing you'd know is how to break hearts
Your live-action film is so lifeless, I’d find it in the Elephant Graveyard!
The blood of the Catholics flows through my veins and the churches I hold in my grasp; I'm devout 
While the flow that you're spewing is lacking so much, it's no wonder this despot inflicted a drought
I take pride in my hunts, you hunt your pride, I see hunger in your eyes chasing after prey
You really are a predator by nature, trying to wed a girl half your age!

Scar (2:16)
Ugh… such empty threats from a desolate king who’s oh, so full of himself
That verse left me wanting more than the starving people you're putting in cells
Returned after years of exile yet couldn't hit me with a comeback, you
Don't even have a loving wife who's still alive to run back to! 
A king undisputed, respected, saluted, you can't go a day without facing a hitch
A shiny new era is tiptoeing nearer, your future was torn by a paranoid bitch
Overshadowed by the one you raised under your wing
Your rose wilts as we forget about you more… long live the king!

(Laughs)

Henry Tudor vs Scar. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. littleflecks & Quizzique)

original battle by Dilly

SC link: https://soundcloud.com/locorapbattles/the-mandela-catalogue-vs-marble-hornets-rap-battle-2023

YT link: https://youtu.be/UoHzVZzB7e8

Gabriel:
Oh cherished viewers, I've come to you to spread a message, I
Have news that a rapper will come on down to you and bless the mic
So all of you may rest your eyes and leave it to the alternate
And while you count your sheep - the shepherds will be slaughtered next
I know your dreams, I know your wants, your weaknesses
I know how to fire shots. Like Heathcliff did
You corrupt the cameras, break the film and freeze frames
If you need tech support, I suggest you meet Dave
I descend from heavens, the counties dwindle in seconds
“Slender sickness” is no more, mental illness is your weapon
It’d be better for us both if you offed yourself, that’s the blunt truth
There’s no space for the two of us. You’re too tall for one room

The Operator:
If you search for me, be advised and keep inside
Unless you want to end up looking more fucked than your CGI
Yes, I make the lens glitch and fill the rolls with static screens 
But with your early works, you’ve only been working with static screams
Chills are sent down people’s spines, I sent victims totheark 
You just sent Noah messages and sent your copies to the ark
There’s a hundred fucking series’ now to mooch off clout all thanks to you
I’ll leave viewers distraught as I chew you out, low hanging fruit
I set precedents a decade back before you sat upon a throne
Your head’s stuck inside the clouds but your skin’s not your own
This sloppy savior barely dispatched an officer off his paper
If you can’t reach the lieutenant, don’t ring up the operator

Gabriel:
Think you’re a threat? Last time I checked, we’re opposites
I give people comfort and safety, you give coughing fits
I cull my followers like cattle, you’re just Kralie’s ghostwriter
And you’re choking just like him on your end - the phone’s silent

The Operator:
This false god wants to claim that he brings a new divine rule?
My brother in christ, your power’s the liquify tool
I’ll take your sheep, shepherds, secrets, leave them gone and drop this faker
‘Cause I’m turning the channel off Local58’s doppelganger

[RAYYAN MIX] Mandela Catalogue vs Marble Hornets - Rap Battle!

The most iconic Nintendo characters in history, battle-tested heroes who have forged a formidable legacy in the video game industry, collide in a rap battle.

McGuinnsBook as Mario 
RaccoonBroVA as Link 
garbageGothic as Navi
Eddiefrb as Cappy
Written & Directed by SIR Rap Battles
Additional writing help by 3ple, Sham, RaccoonBroVA and JK03
Edited by Shimario, RNG, 3ple & SIR Rap Battles
Mixed by Serena
Beat by Freshy Kanal
Art by Blast03
Produced by RaccoonBroVA and Sham
Cover art by JotaSeis

Lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Eea7iIQUDi9om0uKjY5blAm_dqwtzNHSxgb-THqFYWs/edit?usp=sharing

Mario vs Link. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. McGuinnsBook & RaccoonBroVA)

Original battle by garbageGothic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no09-lzwVEA&t=27s

Rayyan with a bad laptop mic as Sebastian
Emily as literally everyone else

GDT Pinocchio: 
Oh boy, I love rap battles! Don’t know what they are yet though

Sebastian:
Well battle’s when you fight, and rap is clever rhyme and flow

GDT Pinocchio:
A witty war of words?! I love it! Penny, now it’s time to… die?
Leave you torn apart like Pyrrha did when I’m up on the mic (Oh!)
I’m flaming it! Like a crucifix! While you got flamed by Cinder’s hit!
A shame you were forced to be a real girl to make writing easy, and then you got fridged
But you’re used to the cold, being with Schnees, stuck in your role as a war robot
So let’s heat it up! My sick rhymes’ll send viruses like a hack by Watts

Penny Polendina: 
(Laughs) Salutations! It’s truly a pleasure to meet you!
I've never seen a boy before with so much mid to spew
Your homeland will be burdened when this battle ends in tragedy
Unlike you and Candlewick, I’m combat ready!
You’re flammable, watch for the sparks that I’m spitting

I’m never dull, sharp as my Floating Array
Be careful, I’ll sever the strings on this kid and
The borrowed soul he signed away for the pay!
Stop trucks with my hands but one sent you to Death
By the end of this battle, you’ll see her again- (hiccup)
Yeah, I don’t mean it, let’s just be friends!!
Say ‘ciao’ at verse 2, see who won and who’s next!

GDT Pinocchio:
Wow! That was a wonderful verse, but I’m sure that I can top it!
Your disses froze like Cold Steel, mine are hotter than hot chocolate! 
So listen up-! (gets shot) 

Pauly Shore Pinocchio:
Guess who’s here to slay the clones? It’s Italy’s fruitiest wood, the true Pinocchio!
Let me di-ski-di-ski-di onto the beat, end this PvPvP knockin’ out screws

This meme from MTV’s here to redeem my infamy with a new debut!
First up: dumb husk with a shot in his stump, his stop-motion can’t outrun my guuun!
Try to look grown-up, so you bring in Jesus and Nazis?! What-

GDT Pinocchio:
Huh?

(another gunshot)

Penny Polendina: 
Excuse me, sir-

Pauly Shore Pinocchio:
Does this magic tin can wanna talk?
Got a newsflash for you Bu-ddy, your story’s even worse! Shipping isn’t a plot!
Rusty Nuts and Dolts can’t hold a candle to my canon
Got a better Bella-donna than your civil rights stand-in! 
Leave an Ironwood Maiden-less in this rap 
When I kick your ass into next Spring Break! (Woo!)
Thinkin’ you can fuck with the pine? Pauly’s made of high-quality rhymes!
Your series is like you: it died, but everything comes in due time!
Forced Jaune to kill you after two lines of fire? Bitch please!
I burned and got real! I’ll melt you down to size for RWBY Chibi!

Penny Polendina & GDT Pinocchio:
What’s this knockoff trying to do? He lost all reputation
The second his mouth opened and became a faux sensation
Your jokes are stale, now Tybalt’s the only fame that you can ride
But we’ll stay strong with the power of God and anime on our side!

[RAYYAN MIX] Penny Polendina vs Pinocchio (Guillermo del Toro) - GG Rap Battles

original battle: https://soundcloud.com/user-953382854/cheshire-cat-vs-schrodingers

this battle singlehandedly convinced me that rosenthal is a goat and made me wanna collaborate with them, so this is a way for me to return the favor 

mix and cover art by me
beat by libra
everything else by rosenthalfishes

Cheshire Cat (0:14):

I am the Cheshire Cat, welcome to my Wonderland,
You want to battle rap? You must be hatter mad,
'Cause that plan is total cap no matter how you catch these hands.
Chess to your boxing match, tell me what comes after that?

Ah right. Your entire life fades. I think your mind ain’t the right place
Debating ‘bout a quantum space. Complacently my playground is the mental state!
Shove your stupid theories back in your box, you only prove your worth with words and talk!
Here’s an observation I made when I looked at you, your win is totally gone!

Schrodinger's Cat (0:40)

Cheshire, you best not mess with an experimental tester
Whether or not you enter my box, you will find you are lesser
Hypothesis of my pseudo-science, you shouldn’t be smiling when you eye my findings
Terrorising a tiny child like your writer then hiding in the lines like you’re pedo-filing, uh!

While my question's quite complex, you’ve literally lost your head. In my thoughts, I’ll
Opt to forget this bothersome pet but I know it’s not possible yet, it’s a toss up
Whether or not the probable end of following disses bodying disembodied
Heads get a fraudulent death, this has brought me ahead! Now, your defence?

Cheshire Cat (1:07)

What? What?
It seems like the real mystery’s whatever the fuck you discuss, ‘cause it must be
Like one big crusty bunch of duds who get stumped by an Amazon package.
Your argument’s like a rabbit, they follow it and your world collapses.

Schrodinger’s Cat (1:21)

You’re not smart enough to understand, you only ponder when it’s part of your Wonderland,
I couldn’t tell if you were intelligent when I looked at ya, y’know, like you’re Looking Glass?
‘Cause when you’re fighting the feline who’s neither alive or reaped, at the sight of me
You’ll fold when I deck ya with speed like the Queen of Hearts, that’s Binocular Rivalry.

Cheshire Cat (1:35)

My words chain like a catenary, cat’s are nary prone to form brawls with adversaries,
But for you? (Yes, you) The situation’s scary. (Yeah!) This foe spits rather hairy! (Uh!)
On the contrary, when you’re comparing us? I choose when I’m not lingering,
You’re a little Sphynx giving a silly riddle. (Who?) Schro’s more Schro-bingus!

Either way, you’ll still be Flopping! They put your ass up for adoption!
Frankly, your mechanic’s more quan-dumb, went from paradox to oxy-moron!
When you start talking, it’ll cause the alarm to detect my diss so toxic,
You’re gonna fail and pass away ‘cause like your later portrayals, you did na-zi your loss, bitch!

Schrodinger’s Cat (2:01)

It’s true that I’m locked in, caught in a awful coffin,
But when I drop bombs in my box, the volume’s up. Call that shit sub-atomic.
‘Cause the chance you beating me ain’t fifty-fifty, the time’s dry.
When it comes down to people I talk to, this kid’s more Liddel Einstein!

I’m the classiest cat in this rap, you’re a sad has-been with a knack for distracting
Madness, you only ever spit Radioactive like my flask does when I Imagine Draggin’
Your flat ass back to the pasture - your past home - pass by your passport, now in the Lowlands,
I’ve seen Manyworlds, but the skill between us is plain to observe - like a Cheshire Gap.

[RAYYAN MIX] Cheshire Cat vs. Shrodinger's Cat  - Rap Battles of Whatever

Azia as Kirby
garbageGothic as Jigglypuff

Written by SIR Rap Battles
Additional help by Jacobrl99
Art by EpicMonkey
Beat by Anywaywell 
Mix + Beat arrangement by GlitchDude
Cover art by JotaSeis

Kirby:
Hiya it's Kirby, mark this another ‘mon that'll verse me 
You're surely dreaming if you believe your weak stats could even deter me
Cause I'll rock and drop a beat like a Down B, this flop is copping Zs in a sound sleep
Pop a puff with ease, leave her toppled, steamed in a hot pot, a feast for the town peeps 
Like a Canvas Curse, man, I'm balling, surpassing you in tiers when we're Brawling
I'm rolling in the Green Greens while you only got a Pound to your name, like your stats that's appalling!
Tried to throw some love to your listeners, but they didn't send it Right Back at ‘Ya
You can't hope to evade my bars when you can't even escape Team Rocket’s capture!
Followed Ash hoping you could sing your songs
But you only had an audience who did you wrong
‘Cause they couldn't bear your tunes so they promptly slept
And the cycle resumed, that's a soft reset! 
You're a botched attempt of me, robbed my whole image
Sugimori must've ran out of creative vision
While I drop Gourmet bars appetizing in taste
The only mark you'd make is vandalizing a face
Your little Cute Charm won't even entice me
I body almighty gods so divinely
Weak to the poison I spit, can't survive me
Split you like Marx when I go slicey-dicey
Forget the curry, I'm spitting raps spicy
Such a prick, I thought the Gordos were spiky
You’re just a tool for your company’s tight schemes 
I see the green in your eyes like your shiny

Jigglypuff:
Think you could top the puff? Man, you should wake up (Uh)
Cause I'll be popping off up on the stage, bud
Biggest franchise to date so don't sell me short with that money talk
This Star Warrior’s such a square, he's literally a Hungrybox!
It's fitting that this piece of gum keeps sticking to his tired tropes
With powers less original than his own uninspired show (Oh!)
You know when I show up, I'm stealing the scene, you're stealing abilities ‘cause all you can do is breathe 
My singing’s serene but when you rock the Mike, you just scrape people’s ears with your meaningless screams
One disjointed back-air, I'll beat you repeatedly like I'm King Dedede
Man, I could easily sleep on this weaker fiend, Warping him right to the Stars ‘cause I'm what he's just dreaming to be
And with Sakurai leaving, your series fell sharply into the abyss
Shelling out soulless games every odd year, kid they dipped even harder than you off a cliff!
Check the red carpet if you wanna see me
I'm gracing the big screen, you're stuck on TV
And we seem alike but the truth is, we're different 
I got ties to Ash, you can't tie knots with Ribbon!
Your spinoffs keep missing like they were your parents 
Seems either way your makers stopped caring 
Risking planets, you're a blatant menace
You're only a placeholder when you're taking second (Uh!)

Kirby:
I'm not sure if your 3 seconds of screen time deserves celebration
Recycling disses worse than your game’s animations and I thought that I had the copy and paste schtick
You get ignored and you lose composure
Couldn't heal up those wounds if you used your potions 
When you blow up, man your height just grows but
When I blow up, it's a HYPERNOVAAAA!!!

Jigglypuff:
Kid, you gained so much weight, every step that you'd take would just make your whole land collapse
Forget your expendable band of hacks, you put a new meaning to Mass Attack
I’m innovating with every game, more than the titles that you’ve hurled
While players waited three decades ‘fore they could set foot in your new world

Kirby vs Jigglypuff. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. Azia & garbageGothic)

garbageGothic as Ash
AlisterCadoVO as Rex
Written by SIR Rap Battles
Additional writing help by Psytube, JK03 and E Man
Mixed by Serena
Beat by Hollywood Legend Productions
Additional instruments + Art by MegaPMB
Cover art by M!CAH

Ash (0:10):
I'm Ash from Pallet Town! In battles, man, I'm smacking down
opponents with my pals and now I’ll bring about a pounding when I'm rapping- Wow!
Your stories and designs look pretty complex
I mean, at their Core your female Blades are literally just objects! (Oh!)
I've traveled regions, beaten evil teams, defeated legends 
You can't even lead a team of dweebs without your feeble weapon 
Devs took after your profession and salvaged your wreck of a game
So they could make a better product, leaving dents in your fame!
Go ask Skyla, there's no other trainer fly as me
I've climbed up Leagues and scored a win, you could only climb a tree!
You stumbled into Pyra’s spot just for you to get stabbed? Man, 
You took Jin’s Blade to the heart even worse than Vandham’s!
You've got an Anchor on your arm, how did you miss your Shot in Smash?
Demoted to a costume while she went and took your spot in that
Left orphaned as a kid, man your life is full of tragedy
The World Tree that you reached fell apart just like your family’s! (Ay!)

Rex (0:54):
My life was taken by Jin, that much is right, kid
But I didn't waste it blindly trying to fight a psychic!
I stand beside the child of god, you better bring your legends out
You've got so many movies but there's only one they care about! (Ohhh!)
You wouldn’t know what it feels like to have close ties
Your friendship with Serena shows you’re used to being a Ghost-type! (Uh)
Every new region, your previous squad’s abandoned
At least it makes sense when I switch out my companions!
You want to pocket 'mons, blasting Team Rocket off
But you're as soft as Brock each time he talks to thots
You've got a lot of conviction in your rat ‘mon, true
Did he make your shockingly formulaic plots too?
Your company’s so greedy, it surpasses Bana’s appetite
I pick up scraps that have more use than you in Black and White!
I'm loyal to the Aegis, you seek creatures, catch ‘em and oh, they're gone
Ditching members of your team like “Lose that Pokémon!”

Ash (1:37):
You're one to talk about a formula being used since
Your gameplay’s so autonomous, call it Mecha Evolution!

Rex (1:43):
No wonder your show's littered with Dittos, because you'd copy too 
Dancing in unison, fusing your wishes? That's a Dragon Ball Z-Move/ballsy move!

Ash (1:48):
Me and Pikachu, we'll work as one to parry you! 
Give your Gramps a break with how hard he’s gotta carry you! 
Your partner held a death wish from her scars, she had no choice
Man, I'd wish to die too if I had to keep hearing your voice! (Uh)
Those verses reeked of filth like you had Mythra cook it up
Your burden’s making you break down in tears, yet you still took it up!
You soon got overshadowed by your predecessor’s port
And it left a Leftherian more washed up than his mom’s corpse!

Rex (2:10):
Stop the cap, Ash, and just stick to flipping yours like a dimwit
Such a cash grab, you'd even sell out singing songs for Christmas 
You pursue to show up every trainer that you know
But you refuse to grow up, though? Damn, you really are just Thunder Stoned!
Dropped on my console, gained acclaim, I'm making Switch dubs
You only gained a team of blander writers when you switched dubs!
And if we're talking ‘bout parents, looks like you've got it harder
You're the very best like no one ever was at losing fathers!

Ash Ketchum vs Rex (Xenoblade). SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. garbageGothic & AlisterCadoVO)

Malina Rose as Tifa Lockhart (audio)
ThatAdorableFox as Tifa Lockhart (video)

MetaMachine as Max Headroom Incident (audio)
Cri as Max Headroom Incident (video)

Written by SIR Rap Battles
Additional writing help by JK03
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Dansonn
Additional instrumentation by Mega PMB
Cover art by JotaSeis

Tifa (0:16):
Name is Tifa - here to serve ya
I won't need a - spell to burn ya
I would beat ya - but you'd like it
This track's a power plant, AVALANCHE is gonna light it-
Up! You're at the forefront of trolling for the hell of it
Performed a messed-up shtick and ever since you've been irrelevant 
Behaving so indecently to kids doesn’t sit right
Now do what you do best and escape into the Midnight (Ayy!)
Like a meteor, you've fallen quick
The only time you'll "Catch the Wave" is from my Dolphin Kick! 
While you leave the world baffled, I'm a global hit 
Call you Don Corneo cause I'll own 'ya, bitch! 
You're nothing but a memory
Went silent after going live, you may as well be dead to me! 
3 minutes in the spotlight and you left the scene
Any impact that you could've made’s an endless dream! (Uh!)

Max Headroom Incident (0:50):
For a nerd working in a bar, I thought you'd have some 
You're just Chun-Li with some knuckles tacked on
Fact of the matter is, you can't take threats directly
Ran away from Shinra like "they're coming to get me!"
And all it takes some envy to overpower her
Can’t lock hearts with Cloud cause he'd fallen for the flower girl (Awww)
Why such a downer, huh? Clinging on that desperately? 
His love for you is fading worse than his memories!
Saved the world from the biggest of hits
But you couldn't save yourself from a rickety bridge
The quack doctors took advantage of ‘ya lickety-split
‘Cause when you got a coma, you were insufficiently fixed
Man, you consistently miss if we're listing your drinks
You couldn't serve me up a punch that would give me a kick
And your abilities, kid? Oh Jesus, who cares?
Seeing you fight’s making me the one who's crippled in a wheelchair!

Tifa (1:24):
I've backed up the gang of a good revolution to fuel my need for retribution 
Proceeded to storm corporations so ruthless, whereas your intrusion was only a nuisance
You've proven that crudeness is futile, just useless, a desperate ploy to incite some confusion
And though you escaped FBI persecution, you won't be excused when I'm doing this dude in
A shame your first attempt met a gloomy end
Got your fun cut short by WGN
Then you made the headlines in Chicago, but at what cause?
Wanted all of mankind to see you as a fraud?
Man, your thinking is flawed, acting so damn perversely
Chucked a verse so Bull, you’re no better than Swirsky!
Your fame is on life support, swept under the rug (Uh)
All I’d need to leave you beat is pull the plug

Max Headroom Incident (1:58):
Oh ho ho ho… was that really all, kid?
Should’ve made like Marlene’s dad and dropped it
My giant masterpiece… seems like you watched it
‘Cause all you spewed was piles of garbled nonsense
Let's flashback to that sad past of carnage
Sephiroth must've had a lot of blood prints
Frickin’ liberal was so cursed with knowledge 
He left you an orphan and your town demolished!
Awwww… That must be rough
Poor daddy got turned into a shish kebab!
I'm scarred by your story’s length, where does your lore start?
Living in the slums? Of course you’d have poor bars!
Screw your limit break! My prime time is taking slots
Left your city in a perilous state to rot
Maybe a drink will keep your trauma in check
‘Cause Nibelheim’s a burning memory you’d rather forget!
(Laughs)

Tifa Lockhart vs The Max Headroom Incident. SIR Rap Battles Season 2 (ft. Malina Rose & Meta)

Swizkii as Mr Fantastic 
Fightmarker as Mr Scooty

Written by SIR Rap Battles & YLFEthan
Additional writing help by 3ple
Mix + Beat arrangement by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Tone Jonez
Art by Dilly! & SkydivingQuagga

Mr Fantastic (0:11):
Greetings, I'm Reed Richards, a key figure of modern science
You? A weak fixture; a D-tier kart is what they're driving
And in spite of your patches, your stats stay lacking
A scientific fact: You're untouched, and can't gain traction (You see…)

Like a lightning bolt, I’ll break you down with mathematics
Add cash grab tracks and voila! The chance of a ninth game’s subtracted (Chuckles)
While I was bold enough to shoulder the Future’s Foundation
You rake in a group of hopeless chumps who don’t know how to brake drift

So when I fight a bike with no importance to note
Know that I’ll be splitting it like it’s a fork in the road
Only good for speeding, this form of transport is a joke
Stole the stats of the Landship, you’re nothing more than a clone 

Mr. Scooty (0:45):
(Beep beep!) 
Bring your whole crew, Imma roll through, leave your lady maimed
What's the Fantastic Four to the motherfuckin Crazy Eight?!
This kindergarten kart be serving supes like it's a school meal
Fuck 2 Chainz, on a track they call me 2 Wheelz! (WOO!)

Your power’s stupid bro, (Yuh) you just extend your limbs?! (What?)
I'll tear them and your team apart, call that dis-member-ment 
You’d stretch your shit around your foes, shapeshifting like plastic
And use them to bend to the will of nerds, Mr Fancast-tic!

So quit with your bitching and bickering, no one’s fond of you
It’s like the bonds you grew were made of Unstable Molecules
Your ass was only seven when your mom’s life started hitting the brakes
Must've been Yoshi Circuit with how fast she drifted away

Mr Fantastic (1:20):
You seem to fill a role of being picked by little trolls
Choosing Baby Park, and spamming “I’m using tilt controls!”
How original. I've no patience to further burn this loser
I suppose we're both “Two Tired.” (Heh) cause you're a scooter

Mr Scooty (1:31):
Whether it's Doom or Sue, you're used to losing a match
When your ass gets divorced, there's no F4 you in the chat!
And after all the shit you've been through that turned you into a vengeful traitor,
Ain't talkin’ Jack Kirby when I say that here, you've met your Maker

Mr. Fantastic vs Mr. Scooty (Mario Kart 8). SIR Rap Battles Sidequests

Jonna-Lynn Alonso as Nemona
yukigloom as Goku

Written by SIR Rap Battles & Jofinity
Additional writing help by Shimario
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Diamond Style 
Cover art by LimJJ (Original cover by M!CAH)
Cover art stills by Cole
Special thanks to RaccoonBroVA, Eric the Audible, Ryoma Ishizuka, bblackroses, Satoshi Tajiri & Akira Toriyama

Nemona: (0:24)
All the fans in the region, you hear them cheer for the champ
When your planet’s in need, you disappear in a flash
I’ve got a masterful team prepared to clear any match
While your laughable team just shrieks in fear from attacks 
So - he got adopted by Grandpa Gohan until he got stomped on 
By no one other than the toddler that he taught and fostered
And as a grown-up, his losses don't stop
‘Cause all of the monsters that he was crossing took his comrades and offed them
I'm an Academy Ace! You never got an education
Speeding past your limits, but a driving test is where you're failing?
That's outrageous! You can't stay committed to the sons you're raising 
If you keep forsaking them as prey for the foes that you're facing
I'll be popping off when I land critical strikes
But when this pop is off, it's ‘cause he's ditching his wife
Losing the ones you love? You sure take after your dad, man
A father-son legacy ‘cause this fight’s your last stand!

Goku: (1:05)
Aw, I kinda wished I'd get an actual fight
Should’ve brought your gym leader to rap ‘cause you’re lacking in Ryme
So stack up our might, the gap is too wide if we talk fisticuffs
Couldn't patch that Gastly-looking face with Herba Mystica
So obsessed with spars, you'd wind up who you're speaking to
It seems that you must be illiterate - can't write or read the room
And after catching wind of Turtle School, a good bout’s what I can't ignore
While your school’s out catching turtles like some kind of Capsule Corps!
With what you've promoted, you left your fanbase broken
Those blows you dealt felt Phoned in, it's like your father Rotom
Kamehameha flowing ‘cause you don't seem to notice
This contest is the only time you're good at throwing
People drop you like your frame rate? Sheesh, you’ve had a rough time
You’re the type to bug but your game is more the bug-type 
You like to battle? Well… maybe don’t punch like
you’re still holding back, kid, let’s make this a fun fight!

Nemona (1:45):
You Self-Destruct in fights so much, this lucha’s your last
‘Cause like it's Frieza with your planet, I’mma put ‘ya on blast (Sí!)
This gluttonous dud should swallow this truth up for his next feast:
Regardless of his heart disease, this papá is a deadbeat

Goku (1:55):
Whew, that’s more like it! You’re getting used to spitting some disses
But I bet I can catch on quicker, call that Instant Transmission 
Shouldn't be messing with Universe 7, kid
When half your character designs are more lifeless than your professor is

Nemona (2:06):
If you wanna talk professors, I better mention
Yours developed cybernetic weapons, that left your future threatened
Even in the face of defeat, I'm always beaming up
You only made Raditz face defeat when you're left Beaming up!
And seeing your films’ canon, it’s just gunning to fail
‘Cause they made like a pair of scissors and kept cutting your tales
So like your hijo with a dinosaur, ditch this before it gets worse
We'd probably have to wait another saga for your next verse

Goku (2:26):
Of course this little privileged rich kid has never witnessed the image
of vicious villains killing every single innocent that lives in your village
After what happened to Krillin, 
I was driven to break my limits, you're just tracking down children
Endlessly battling with them, man you're just tactless, a dimwit
And with the draft that you’re pickin’, it’s just a match full of misfits
So maybe next time you go spotting new trainers who wanna be elite
Make like how your family treats you - and leave them be

Goku vs Nemona. SIR Rap Battles (ft. yukigloom & Jonna-Lynn Alonso)

Lexi M. as King Boo & Gengar

Written by 3ple, SIR Rap Battles & Jacobrl99
Additional writing help by AJ & keanetan
Mixed & Arranged by SIR Rap Battles
Art by 3ple
Beat by DiamondStyle
Special thanks to Jacobrl99, Chao, RaccoonBroVA, LEECHY! & Shwabadi

Gengar (0:11):
What wanders in this time of night?
Who wishes for a shiver down their spine tonight?
To break minds? Your Boos can’t provide the frights
The only thing they that can break is a line of sight

Take the crown off that dome! Give it to this ghost type
Not the freak who freezes up at the flash of a strobe light
But with those bags below your eyes, no wonder you would hate it
You should sleep, like everyone who bought your games and played it! (HAHAHA)

Keep your haunted mansions (argh), I can haunt dimensions (argh)
Hiding in shadows and taking minds for my possession
It ain’t hard to sway them to believe you’ll never beat me
Your downfall’s to a vacuum, so this battle is a clean sweep

King Boo (0:46):
It’s a full moon, (huahhuah) oh it’s getting dark (yeah)
Come, step in my mansion, you can rest your heart (huahhuah)
Go and check the art, they know that you’re lookin’
Hey, you better get a room or else I’ll make you BOOK IT! (HUAHAUHAHUAH) 

Break the limbs of this ghost, that’s how I’m casting a shadow
Leave you stuck in a door loop, have you trapped in a castle
I get the big bucks, slot machine, cash in the gamble
You’d only size up if you Gigantamax’d in this battle (huahuahuah)

Crown on. Dark Moon; zapped to a shower!
Check it, it’s decked with more stones than Lavender Tower
With the faction you founded, I couldn’t even call you freaks creepy
When you’re reppin’ a baby squad with the name Team Meanies

Gengar:
Now a battle of spirits? Yeah, I’ll go a round or two
Take out your crew of 50, this licker’s gonna down some Boos
Recycling your plan to beat Luigi in a doomed arc?
Man, your head’s about as vacant as your rooms are

And when it comes to fighting him, you’d bet your fucking life on that
Fuck a ouija board, your ghosts would cower from some eye contact
Sold at a garage sale, that’s quite fitting for you
When you’ve spent your entire franchise being given the boot! 

King Boo:
To even get you, trainers gotta send you to a foreign place
Forget a portrait, you are a poor trade
A spectral army bows to me, you couldn’t get a crowd cheering
So I’ll punch your teeth in and replace you - that’s a crown filling

You pale like your shiny to this master of death
While I captured a red plumber, you got captured by Red
You’ll be abandoned again once I trap you in my painting 
Like your company with crunch culture, YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE IT (HUAH UAHUA)

Gengar vs King Boo. SIR Rap Battles (ft. Lexi M.)

RecD as Wolverine
Rosenthal as Cloud Strife
Written by AdamDRB, SIR Rap Battles & Shimario
Mixed & Mastered by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Ihaksi
Beat arrangement by Shimario
Special thanks to Zachary Allen-Thierry, Luke Reardon, Ego, JoJoVO, RaccoonBroVA, garbageGothic & Fightmarker
Cover art by M!CAH

Cloud:
Guess I’ll start this off… and I’m very sorry Logan
But your soul’s a wound that's open with no potion to go close it
It’s the last time that you’re gonna be smokin’, enjoy the stogie
Consider this a mercy on the lowly, now let’s mosey

Should’ve known that sparring with me’s something you’ll regret, and yet
You’ll probably still find a way to blame that shit on Weapon X
Ya turn all your hissy fits into murdering innocents
All this blood on your hands, and you still think you’re who the victim is?

Seems like you and Sector 7 got a common attribute
You’d both know a lot about metal collapsing down on you
Nearly filled your head with the bullet you used to kill your clone
You couldn’t take it anymore - I guess your limit broke

Wolverine:
You can shut your mouth bub, I think we’ve heard enough
My claws are jealous with how much that pointy hair could cut
I’m hardest to the bone, not some random Turk you’d spar with
I’ll “Remake” your pretty face - when you’re split up into parts, bitch!

A lone wolf standing high at the top, I’m a savage
You're a clone wolf, 2 decades old and your shit’s still repackaged
And I hate to drop some more shit on your plate, but just so happens
That you only notice chicks are crushin’ after they’re already flattened

An amnesiac cursed with shit ya wish you never knew
Couldn’t save Nibelheim in time - you thought that I’d forget it too?
Sephiroth took everything from you, it must’ve hurt for sure
He didn’t need Supernova to make you watch your world burn

Cloud:
Your flow hurts, Wolvy. Where did you learn it from 
All the drowning in self pity, or just drowning your own son?
The slowest with emotions, you’re more out of touch than Rogue was
And you live inside a school with children cause you’d never grow up

You’re the best at what you do - hurting people without rhyme or reason
Those pupil-less eyes must mean you’re simply just too blind to see that
every single person that you’ve cared for in your life’s mistreated
I bet you wear that tank top ‘cause all of your wives have beat it

Yeah, last I checked you don’t do well romantically
Take it from me, thinking you’ll stay with Gray’s a fantasy
Still haunted by those X-Genes and that ex Jean you left bleeding out
How ironic, seems what she’s needing now’s a Phoenix Down

Wolverine:
Just quit acting like you’ve got a chip on your shoulder
All the wars that I’ve fought in would’ve broken this loner 
You left everyone behind, so it’s time that someone told ya
That you’re weak deep down - you ain’t super or a SOLDIER

You’re a poser - stole from your dead friend, but he also ain’t so strong
Doubt he’d handle beer with me, the dude can’t even take a shot
Your charade is gone, and gotta say you’re not threatening
Kid, if you wanna play pretend, then stick to crossdressing

Whether it’s your friends or foes, you’re only bringing doom to all
It fits that everybody who joins Avalanche is due to fall
Cause one look at Aerith’s fate’s enough to see that you’re at fault
Now she’ll never get to bring the flowers to your funeral


Wolverine vs Cloud Strife. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. RecD & Rosenthal)

AdamDRB as Macbeth (audio)
RaccoonBroVA as Nixon, Gerald Ford and Witch 3 (cameo)
garbageGothic as Witch 1
Special Inquisitor Rayyan as Witch 2
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional writing help by Oofie, MaviKartal2003, YLFEthan and JK03
Chiseled by Jofinity 
Mixed by Serena
Beat by Anywaywell
Cover art by Oofie
Art by YLFEthan
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FOREWORD:
I wanted to upload this as a way to publicly preserve a project of mine I will most likely not be continuing. Macbeth vs Nixon was a battle I started working in late 2021-early 2022 back when I was taking both an English and History class in school, both of which covered Macbeth and Nixon respectively in great detail. I thought these people were really interesting and felt awesome to work on - two leaders who were corrupted by power and had their own actions lead to their downfall. 

The audio for it was done pretty quickly in 2022, and I wanted this to be a live action battle. I got Carrick aka RaccoonBroVA, who voiced Nixon, to body act as him also, and he filmed a great performance. Before playing Fred visually in Arthur vs Fred by Discord Rap Battles, Nixon was originally Carrick's first live action role; the first he ever filmed. The body actor for Macbeth unfortunately did not film as quickly in comparison, and eventually it got to a point where the battle kept aging the longer it took for filming to be complete. 

I decided to cut my losses in 2024 and ultimately scrap this project, as I didn't want to be weighed down by such an old project when I could be working on new ideas I'm more passionate about. This idea is still good, and maybe someday I'll get back to it, but for now it'll remain a relic of my earlier years as a rap battle creator.
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LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oT26Dnw4oti0TKqfOdSuBoWw1P_gg375t_pdkCEy8vg/edit?usp=sharing

[SCRAPPED AUDIO] Macbeth vs Richard Nixon. SIR Rap Battles (ft. AdamDRB, RaccoonBroVA & More)

DEMO RECORDED: 10th January 2022

Beat by Epistra
Art by LimJJ
Cover by M!CAH
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Pinkie:
Oh my gosh, is that Komi-san trying to own me on this rap beat?
You're a lonely fraud who only wants to form a bond but she can't speak
This so-called ‘god’ isn't what she seems: beneath those looks she's a troubled teen
But I've got a little trick up my sleeve to turn this introvert into someone like me!
Name is Pinkie Pie!
Repping laughter, something you cannot bring (Ay!)
You ain't even fly!
‘Cause you chicken out when Yamai tries to swing! (Ay!)
Must be thinking why
You got ditched on a trip and you didn't attend it (Why?)
‘Cause you're freakin’ shy!
Took you 15 years before you were befriended! (Ooooh!)
From the cannon I'm firing; joy, I'm providing it! Your looks are inciting violence 
The friends you made on your entire list only use you to fulfill their requirements!
Don't be denying it, silly! They just hang around you because you took pity
It's really a shame, when you farm for affection you couldn't rock hard like I did as a filly!
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                                                         - A Note from the Creator -

To tide things over during this content drought of mine, I figured I'd showcase an excerpt of a scrapped battle I was working on very early in my rap battle journey - that being Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony vs Komi-San from Komi Can't Communicate. This was around the time the first season of the anime started making the rounds and because I enjoyed it so much, I opted to read much further ahead into the manga and decided I wanted to do something with the series. 

My mind drifted to Pinkie Pie as the opponent, as the idea of putting a really extroverted character who likes making friends up against a very shy character with a goal of making a lot of friends made for a fun narrative in my head. Since Komi Can't Communicate demonstrated a gradual progression of Komi's character as she opens up more to people, I thought it would be a cool idea to translate that arc with Pinkie as the driving force in a rap battle. 

The structure went as follows: Pinkie would start with a traditional verse, then Komi's verse would start with her being too shy to speak, which prompts Tadano to step in and rap for her. Pinkie's role in the battle would've been to slowly get Komi out of her shell as latter becomes more confident in her rapping ability, with the second Komi verse featuring Tadano rapping alongside her, and the final verse ending with Komi being able to rap by herself. The concept of a story battle was exciting to me at the time, but it was unfortunately too ambitious for what I was able to pull off, so I was only able to write the one verse.

I later pivoted to Pinkie vs Najimi Osana (also from Komi Can't Communicate) instead as they were both extroverted characters with many friends, but ultimately I decided on scrapping the battle entirely as my initial hype for the Komi series wore off over time. Still, I want to publicly preserve this as a way to bookmark where I was at the time when it came to making rap battles, and I hope you enjoy this exclusive look into what could've been. 

SCRAPPED 1ST VERSE DEMO - Pinkie Pie vs Komi-San

SIR Rap Battles as Harry Potter
JustGamer as Harry Truman

Written by SIR Rap Battles and Athena
Additional help by AdamDRB & 3ple
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Dansonn
Beat arrangement by SIR Rap Battles
Special thanks to Discord Rap Battles and TheMonarchy
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FOREWORD:
New battle coming soon I promise! But for now, here's another project from the archives that I wanted to release in some state out of respect for the people that contributed to it. This battle was originally worked on by Discord Rap Battles, hence why a good number of people who make up that channel appear in the credits here. At some point in 2022, they decided to scrap the matchup to which - being the greedy draft stealer that I am - I stepped in to adopt what was written for the battle and finish it for my series. Why exactly? I happen to be very interested in the FDR-Reagan era of American history, and Harry Potter is something I've naturally been exposed to by proxy of me growing up in the UK.

The majority of Potter's first verse was written by Athena, with some line ideas scattered about the document by other members of the DRB crew. From there, I wrote the rest of the battle in 5 days, given I already knew both people extensively, and a first draft was written and demoed in October 2022. AdamDRB generously offered to purchase the stems of the beat I wanted to use for my take on the matchup, and I really appreciate him for doing so. 

The audio as you hear it was finished in March 2023, and from that point on the battle never really went anywhere. I was currently occupied with production on Henry vs Scar and, immediately after, Mario vs Link at the time, and new battles kept popping up that I wanted to work on which pushed this one into the back-burner even more. As time passed, the quality of the battle degraded, and I knew if I ever picked it up again that I'd have to rewrite some sections and have it re-recorded (the "wronged nation" quatrain in particular was a rough one that I wanted to change immediately).

However, in 2025 I decided to ultimately scrap this and pursue other projects that warranted a better use of my time and energy. I absolutely do not endorse JK Rowling and the horrible actions she has been taking against transgender people - a point I wanted to make clear in the lyrics of this battle. I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ+ community, and in doing so I felt like trying to work on a full release of this on YouTube would give Rowling an opportunity to take advantage of any royalties it would make for worse. So, the furthest this project can ever go is here on SoundCloud, where I don't make any money from it and mainly use it as a public archive of my work, scrapped or otherwise. Regardless, I hope you can enjoy this piece of SIR Rap Battles history, and hopefully I'll be able to properly return to battles this July.
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LYRICS: 
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mWxX6q5QhLl5M9AE_PLKCBb4qKZcHD3iHaidedhIw-c/edit?tab=t.0

[SCRAPPED AUDIO] Harry Potter vs Harry Truman. SIR Rap Battles (ft. JustGamer)

Written by SIR Rap Battles & 3ple
Mixed and Mastered by SIR Rap Battles
Art by Luke Reardon & jort
Beat by Raias Beats
Additional instrumentation by Glitch & SIR Rap Battles
Special thanks to Rakeish, Cherry-Jacob, Danii, MetaStarVA, AshleyMagica & Rabi

Little Mac (0:19):
Hey Doc! I think you’re mistaken
This isn’t what I meant by a ‘different trainer’
I mean look, she’s an amateur, let alone challenger
Would’ve thought she’d have better footwork as a traveller (grunts)

So you train to be the best in the whole land?
You remind me of every other trainer protag
Not even in the anime too? That’s gotta blow, dude
Ditched home, but you got nothin’ to write home to! 

(Uh) I’m so fabulous, your team’s average
Sic your ‘mons, I’ll bob and weave ‘em like it’s fabric
I’ve seen your films, you can’t act for shit
What’s a Champion doin’ in a trashy flick, huh? (ooh)

Toss her in and I’ll show her the ropes!
She’ll learn quick how a real fighter goes for the throat
So if you really love to battle, better hope you don’t choke
‘Cause paying up for defeat’s your way of going for broke!

Rosa (0:59):
Ah, I love battles… but can I get another round?
It’s Punch-Out, but it feels more like punching down
Here’s a tip if you wanna get steady gains
Train up like your next game, that's a real heavy-wait! (haha!)

You treat your series under similar bounds 
Yeah you're obeying the rules, by not kickin’ around
Wow, you dropped down and lost ground, not in shops now
Brought down from the stores, you were knocked out!

I’ll hand it to ‘ya, being a boxer sounds fun!
You get to dodge for your life, ‘till you’re replaced by a blonde
Ooooh, you got a Giga form? You’d fit right in with that sport circus!
Kept blowing your fuse, I bet you would ace the short circuit

(Hmm…) But you’ve got problems that you’re brawling through
Can’t think outside of the box when it’s just all you do
‘Cause from a glance at your foes sporting glaring designs
You're pretty good at making jabs at racist stereotypes! (chuckles)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
Little Mac (1:39):
Aight fine, you wanna meddle with this pro?
No Splicer, I’ll split you like it’s Emmet and Ingo
And your - dex has got the most primitive shit I’ve ever seen
“Let’s add ice cream, the trash, and some dudes wearing gis” (grunts)

Seems finding love is a hopeless mission 
‘Cause you met one guy who couldn’t go the distance
When you tried folding Ghetsis, he had your life in his palms
Shit, the warmest welcome you ever got was fuckin’ icicle shards
 
Rosa (2:00):
My Triple Battles are something you couldn’t triumph in
If I beat you thrice, you would go straight to retirement!
Fans and your calories, oh how they were burnt out
After you hit it big, it didn’t work out

Even in Smash, you still stay on the ground
Must be ‘cause all your insecurities are weighing you down!
Nintendo - threw in the towel and put your franchise through hell
The only time a Trophy never ends up back on the shelves! (Yeah!)

Little Mac vs Rosa. SIR Rap Battles Season 3 (ft. DillyDally & Aji)

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