Battles I'm In

Jeffree Star Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Tom Savini Voiced By Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie
Beat Prod. by Frankie Vibes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5NbTwBZMMI

Jeffree:
I’m sorry, but why do you wanna face this?
Looking like Ted White after a Jason face lift!
Gotta be a prank. Did the Dobres tape this?
Call you a powder foundation, ya basic!
Now I’ve been used to drama, but this has-been as my rival kinda lowers the bar
I’m fuck-proof on the mic, we’re worlds apart, Hitting you so hard, call me Jeffree WorldStar!
I’ll shatter through that haphazard slash man
A fashion disaster, with a flasher ‘stache, damn!
You career’s gone stagnant, The computer’s your replacement
Only fans are the pale nerds locked in their basements!
This Maniac thinks his blood fests are some hot shit
Boils down to gore porn made by a misogynist!
I’ve been told I was prodigy, a god to be, it’s odd to me
To see the Godfather of Gore is trying offing me!
Face it Tommy Boy! You looking Tubby, boy!
Maybe use your make up magic on that tummy, boy!
One watch of your “Wet Dreams” makes me sick!
Of course you like fencing. You’re just a little prick!
Now you get your chance, old man! Don’t have a heart attack grabbing the mic!
Although that would be a fitting end, to “Screaming Mad” George Lite

Tom:
(Heh) Thank god you stopped, think my hearing went dead
That rap made me envy my fake rubber head
Your damn squeaky voice is a spike to the brain
No wonder your music career’s in the drain
Sorry, princess. You’re shilling it, I make my Blood Money from spilling it
So you can try to make me seem villainous. Of course the Sultan of Splatter is killing it!
You’re used to cheap bars, it’s where you got your start in!
I cut my teeth, cutting wrists in Martin!
In that Hollywood circle, your boy was putting in work
You really wanna measure with your Youtube circle jerk?
I know documentaries, got two about Jason
That Shane Daws shlock was just bad product placement!
You only got lies spilling out your painted kisser
But your silver tongue couldn’t protect you from the sisters!
Cashing in on Controversy, it seems like a crapshoot!
So try to run the track. You can’t handle a tracksuit!
Think it’s time for the living Bratz doll to behave
You can watch me Sundance on top of your channel’s grave!
Hope you’re ready to burn out Jeff, ‘cause that’s all that Stars do
I’m spitting, committed to splitting you. You won’t be around for part 2!

Jeffree:
Watch it hun! I’m an internet icon, this bygone is nothing!
You really can’t throw shade at the shine coming off my Diamond button!
Got millions of followers, your demographic is teeny!
With the way you treat female fans, the real “Creepshow”’s Savini!
Enough Smoke and Mirror, your whole life is bomb
This fake vet was only shooting pics in Vietnam 
Everything you do misfires, it seems to be your lot
Maybe you could ask your daughter how to shoot a better shot

Tom:
Again you go for the cheapest hits, the easy shit, you freaking ditz!
This racist kid, and tasteless twit. Your talents being wasted, bitch!
Wanna question my honor? Your love life is a goner
Only fit in at my school as a model for the monster!
Keep calling me old? Well you’re goddamn right!
Was making movies violent when you were back at Prom Night!
Film is a magical medium, but even I couldn’t make your bars stand out
With that crap performance, even your fans are thinking….What Now?

Jeffree Star Vs. Tom Savini(Prod. by Frankie vibes)

Happy birthday Serena!!

Danii as Gustavo Fring

Beat Produced by: 2Deep
Written by: Jason Carreon and Danii
Mixed by: Danii
Thumbnail by: Jason Carreon
Flow Test by: Danii

Lyrics:


Gus:
Here at my business, I keep it clean with ordeals
While you seem like the type of fish that I’ll cook for more meals
Like yourself, it’s getting old, hope this barnacle can’t sleep late
‘cause I smell a smelly smell from this crustacean cheapskate
Let’s leap straight into the point, my rhymes are so hot
That they’ll melt your circuits and hot air, proving you’re a robot
Your show was put in yard sales, so try not to act loco
Plankton got it with your mom and said familia es todo
But let’s cut the BS, I drop employees for the best
While any port in the storm, you’d drop them for sixty-two cents
and I know you won’t put two of them in this match, you’re no scratch
For pie bombs that I’m dropping; are you feeling it, Mr. Krabs?

Krabs:
Hello, I like money, but not as much as burning bridges
A failed deal or something left your boyfriend swimming with the fishes
A legitimate business? I think you should quit playing chicken
with the Salamancas, two faced from what Hector has witnessed 
You Gus, in-Fring-ed on his ability to walk and spit
But just as his confession, your verse was a lot of shit 
I'm spitting all toxic call me the drink you stopped them with
Because you choked at the end, more than Walter did
Washed in, like the laundry you made petty blow under
The bell ticked, then you cracked the Davy Jones Locker
Okay money, I mean Gus, you're just another square to cut
Or box, as your best scene, was your personality, squaring up

Gustavo Fring vs. Mr. Krabs

A rerelease of Username: 666 vs. Byron LG with a new mix.

Username666 (Audio): WillEpicFlicks (Video): Fightmarker
ByronLG (Audio): FyxFynn (Video): Snakebite126

Written by: Alen & ColeTheCole
Mixing & Mastering by: Dee &. Light
Beat Produced by: InsaneBeatz
Announcer: also Light
Edited by: Fightmarker & ColeTheCole
Subtitles by: ColeTheCole
Backgrounds/Thumbnail by: Fightmarker

(0:21) Username 666:
When the net first started, I crawled my way out of hell
Ready to strike fear into fools who dare refresh my URL
Now twenty years later, the horror scenes only got worse
Like this schmuck who’s but a clone of me with his colours inversed
I'm uncontested: the best pasta to pop up in your suggestions
This sorry spambot’s getting blocked if I’m catching him in my mentions
And my knack for bloodshed is outmatched but I really felt bested
With your plot infested of more holes than myself - that's impressive

(0:42) Byron LG:
A YouTube creepypasta who's fallen out of his relevance?
You couldn’t bring your fame back if you tried inspect element
Comedic, this mess thinks he’s besting me with endless refreshing?
You’re only threatening when it comes to the trojans you’re spreading

(0:53) Username: 666
I can't really say I'm in a big shock your pasta got hammered
Spouting gibberish nonsense, as ridiculous as your grammar
It's amusing; you come at me with lines equally confusing
You're in need of a large hand if this is what your pen's producing
You're losing cause I spit it sick
You can’t infect a site for shit
As I'm growing my gore and throwing my fists
All you’ve managed to lob is a fucking brick
Maybe after this you can finally learn what it means to be scary
As you’re plastered across the news again: This time in the obituaries

(1:14) Byron LG
You're a joke; this troll viruses' effects are purely trivial
I take crashing windows and monitors a bit more literal
I’ve only urged for a good diss but after hearing what you've spat
All you’ve succeeded in doing is making me.. really mad.
But I will tell you what angers me more
The way you're so keen on showing your gore
The truth is your pasta lacks so much filth
You don't even challenge Normal Porn
You’re only a loser who’s so slow at deliverin' horror
Your ass somehow managed to outlast Internet Explorer

(1:36) Username: 666
This duel is only proving why you haven't found where glory lies
Weakened as you've progressed; quite reflective of your story line
It's painfully ironic that you're failing in your rap
Cause last time I checked you specialized in ciphers and cryptographs

(1:46) Byron LG
I wanted a verse, not a limerick; It hurts when this hypocrite
Belittles all my scares when he can't manage to deliver shit
Once I've invaded triple six no one will search for more
As he faces a second stoppage; Username 404’d

Username: 666 vs. Byron LG [Updated]. Rap Battle #4.5

Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/audio//Shadowville.com%20-%20High%20Stakes.mp3
Written By: Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Raichous
Raichous as Shaggy
RaccoonBroVA As Brock
Additional Help By Raichous


Shaggy:

Scoob! Go grab the snacks! Like, this’ll be fast!
When Shaggy is starting a rap, Like, you’ll lose to him faster than Ash!
I’ve gone against werewolves, and zombies, and ghosts! Like, I’ll leave a tagalong pounded
I find it ironic, your ace was an Onix, but you’re the one that’s getting Ground-ed!
You claim you have rock hard defenses, but don't have the stones to offend
Gave your last badge to a kid who cheated you in a fight when he was ten
And how did your story end? Replaced by a cilantro copy
With your chances of landing the cop or the nurse, in the nicest of  terms, being “Rocky”
While my series ain’t stopping. Like, I paved the way in animation!
The only thing your show’s leading in, is kid’s hospitalization
Over the years, portrayals were racey. Maybe I should be battling Tracy
You’ll need more than pebbles to faze me. There’s no dodging when you face me!

Brock:

Sorry Shaggy, but your tactics really had no effect
As a gym leader, I’m in charge of putting newbies in check
Think that you’re tough? Stop lying, man. You spend the whole mystery crying, man
So if flooding with flow’s your entire plan? Too bad I’ll be safe with my drying pan!
The OG rolling from Kanto! Your solo shows never finish.
If only you could Get a Clue. Your fanbase has quickly diminished.
You’re running from rubber masks. I throw myself into danger
I met with Dittos and mimes, but Denver’s clone’s still stranger!
And I bide my time, you’re rushing for cover to hide
Try as you might, you’ll end up greener than Hyde!
Can’t burn me, I’ve got Guts. I’m taking every attack
Think that you’ll earn my badge? You’ll have to be Boulder than that

Shaggy:

Your raps are ghost types, man. Completely see through
The way this Creeper acts, man, he’s on the verge of a “me too!”
So take defeat dude! Your traveling partners don’t need you!
Especially when it would take only like one percent of my power to beat you!
The sleuthing student moving though straight from the 60s
This dumb fiend may be 15, but ends up looking 50!
So try and hit, your disses miss me, listen to my voice
Like, I’m so amazing, I could beat you with one Zoinks!

Brock:

Your spitting is weak, no surprise though. I could beat this freak with my eyes closed.
Your WB’s Super High joke. I’m Bulldozing you with these tight flows!
His peers and his parents can’t stand him. Constant emotional damages.
I’m helping conquer gods while Rogers is conquering sandwiches!
You gluttonous Munchlax, you’d chomp through anything to get your fill
I studied Pokemon medicine, I’m an expert at things that are ill
From Lillard to West, your films are a mess, so testing me is a poor play
Hide behind the Blue Falcon, 'cause rapping isn't your Forte

Shaggy Vs. Brock

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kBndlkZgME

Holt Voiced By JordoMIB
Swanson Voiced By Matt Raichous
Peralta Voiced By Stark Media
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Thumbnail By Oofie

Holt:

Peralta! Who’s this hairy woodsman in my office?
That pine smell is noxious! He looks so obnoxious!

Jake:

Umm, sir? It’s a rap battle. You’re fighting with disses?

Holt:

Ridiculous! He should know a Captain’s shot never misses!

Ron:

I don’t like you, but I respect the effort
Maybe you should sit this out, don’t think you really wanna get hurt
I’m an expert as a wrecker, or protector, you’ll be busted.
And I hope you’re ready for some Really Good verse Construction

Holt:

I’m the leader of a team, cleaning the streets with precision
While this pigeon isn’t a smidge interested in decisions!
So just listen, all initiative you get goes to waste
So put down the sax, Duke. Silver’s always second place!
Just face it, I’m the greatest in the B99
You’re complacent,  work and laziness walking a fine line
Built up a sense of greatness, but you winning only relates
When you’re ripping through dozens of eggs, like it’s practice for Ann’s place!
And honestly? You’re trying too hard to be anonymous
You’re not some big shot hero: You’re just a common bitch!
No chance that Raymond’s bombing this, I’m obviously better
If I wanted to deal with an old dog, I’d call Cheddar!

Ron:

They gave your cop comedy a spot, but it was wasted
It’s like Mike took his best show and copied and pasted!
Got the lovable dumb lead, the overachieving partner
Sassy and badass women, and the losers, just for starters!
When it comes to spitting harder, I’m blunt with no jokes
Think of this as betting on the ponies, Raymond, ‘cause you’re going broke.
Holt is starting to choke, Velvet Thunder’s a Wet Blanket
Only time you run a track is with your childhood train set

Holt:

Crushing the competition. Is this Jimmie Jabby too?
Try accusing me of cheating, but I’m not Tammy 2!
Not too shabby of a poet, I’m a master with my tone
If you try to spit another verse, you’ll end up BOOOONED

Ron:

Those raps dragged on like your time in uniform did.
I’m so iconic, my stache is always era appropriate
The key to dealing with your bars, is just not listening
To flow so robotic, Twitter thinks a bot’s dissing me
In competition Ron is a General like his namesake
The only time you tried solving a case is when you played Jake!
I’m calling you the Government, you’re crazy and useless
Get your doctor hubby to take a look at your bruises

Raymond Holt Vs. Ron Swanson - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Thank you to the chads at Discord Rap Battles for letting us use some of the assets from when they were planning on doing this

Fightmarker as Waluigi (audio)
Cri as Waluigi (video)
Mancha as Robbie Rotten (audio)
Pixel Chris as Robbie Rotten (video)
Written by Pixel Chris, Cri, KCToons, JustGamer, AdamDRB, and YourLeastFavoriteEthan
Flow Test by Chandler_CCRB
Cover by KCToons
Mixed by Fightmarker 
Beat by GlitchDude

WALUIGI:
Time to serve you like it's tennis, I've had it with your wack racket!
Can't attack this, I'm flagship, make Nintendo’s Ultra Smash hits
To get this brawl uglier than the CGI on your play poster
I'm no master of playing dress-up but I'll be playing this poser!
You won't even last long when your fifth season got rejected
As while my existence remains because I’m loved around the net 
You're only crashing me to sleep, those bars are no obstacle in battle
When it failed to cage Sportacus in; how'd you like them apples?

ROBBIE ROTTEN:
Are you a real villain? Well, I think we know the answer
Where's your manners? This mischief master has no time for banter
Don’t let your kids watch Waluigi’s defeat, it won't be sweet
I'm known for eating street food so I'll be feeding you concrete 
To leave you choked and have your face match with your purple clothes
How about Fiddle-dee-DEEZ if you keep Rockin' Robbie's boat!
Every rose has it's thorn, a plant made your roots forgotten
You hit the bottom like my lair, where this fruity man turns Rotten
Your swing and missin’ can't land you a bogey, now listen closely
See, this phony sports pro hasn't even owned a single trophy
'Cause you're a menace, an assist enlisted for a fill-in 
Like tennis, you’re here to be game set matched with a better villain!

WALUIGI:
Hats off to you for being such a downright L of a foe
Given the design of my 'stache, it's clear my Dub’s on the nose!
Your clones turned out great… they matched your stupidity! (Robbie's Clone: Hey!)
When your mindset making a working plan is the largest of trickeries
Like, every day you race to trick all of Lazy Town’s kids
But you fall short every time, truly a dastardly dick
How I wonder how these puppets see the strings of your lame schemes
Their bodies are literally plastic more than your face, please!
No match for this flow bender, even with your goons of three
'Cause I own tracks from my ballin; feast your eyes on my machine!
You can't rewind from this loss, unlike the others you didn't ponder
Now back to your base since this meme's used to being six feet under!

ROBBIE ROTTEN:
Those disses served no deuces, seen Luigi's packing bunch
My styles' eye candy, yours more like Sports Candy, yuck!
You're quite awful in your spin-offs, all you do is sport-a-flop
Yet talk a big game even though you don’t even have your own one
Forget any plumber bros, don't need a touch screen for a dream team to be in people's hearts to the core
Haven't watched your biggest role performance any worse in a rap showdown since SMG4!
'Cause the only shade you got was as a shadow of a shadow, now go sob "WAAA I LOST!" 
I knew you're so stingy for first place while everyone knows I'm the Villain… Number... ONE!

Waluigi vs Robbie Rotten - Hilarious Hip Hip Hassles of Here & Now

So, as my way of saying thankyou for all the views and support, I decided to post a second battle this month! A battle about family. And love. And......kicking ass? I don't know. Either way, thank you for everything that you've done. You guys make this possible.


Hank Voiced By Raichous
Red Voiced By Raichous
Thumbnail By SPM1000

BEAT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzu_95-l6DY


Red:(Spoken) My foot is about to write a rap for your ass

Red: The US vet against redneck Ted Cruz
With the can-do of the Red White and Blue, I can’t lose
Maybe get Boomhauser to help ya spit fast
You sell grill fuel because you’re full of hot gas!
Now I won’t sugar coat how I feel about Bobby
The way you raise your son, he’ll turn out to be a commie!
Your animation’s sloppy, you can’t draw out a diss
Judging by your rifle skills, all your shots are gonna miss
I was pulling in laughs, as the grumpy pop
You dragged behind Macfarlene then Fox let you drop!
But I’ll give you a shot, even though I’ll still beat ya
Chance of you winning is as narrow as your urethra
Your problems with Cotton? They're clearly in view
But this is not the first time a Dad’s had issues with you!
You must be on “fish bait” if you think you’ll last
So let’s see you try and rap back, dumbass!

Hank:

God dammit Bobby! What is that racket?
I’m not really thinking Egghead is gonna crack it.
Attacking the mack daddy from Heimlich? Insane!
I’m an expert at ass-kicking. Call that pro pain
Judging how I’m gonna raise my kid ain’t smart
Your boy’s gonna grow up with Venom in his heart
You’re a tasteless racist caricature with a complex
Looks like the Navy man swabbed off his “Top Deck”
You wanna lay a hand on your son? You’re a coward
Having to bully teens just to feel a little power
Anybody coming to you for tips must be crazy.
Maybe you should take advice on how to treat your lady!
What amazes me, despite how you love competing
The cast from your reboot has a better chance at beating me!
You call yourself a man? Can’t fool me in a fight
Red needs to get checked, that boy ain’t right

Red:

Saying I’m not right? Don’t make me laugh!
I’ll give you an adult sized boot in the ass!
This sheepish weak fisted wimp ain’t raw
When the only reaction he has is “Bwaah”!
Still can’t poop? Because you’re so full of crap
So dull on the track, you need your grill for hot raps!
Try to fix your verse, but it’s all in vain
You dropped the ball even harder than your wife off a plane!

Hank:

I think Dale would’ve made more sense with rhymes
You must've sat in  "The Circle" ‘fore spitting a line!
You never really think before going off with hasty words.
Red’s such a dog, he should face Ladybird!
And try to talk shop about my kin? Just can it.
You’re picking favorites in the family dynamic!
I’ve had it with this asshole, you need to shut up.
Did the King of the Hill keep his crown? Yup.

Red Forman Vs. Hank Hill - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Chao as Red Bull
ENNWAY as Monster Energy
Dilly as G-Fuel
Zagranis as Bang Energy (cameo)

Beat, mix, thumbnail by ENNWAY
Written by ENNWAY and Dilly

Red Bull:
Red Bull gives you wiiiiings

Monster Energy:
SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO CARES
FUCK OFF GOD I AM TIRED OF YOU TOUCH GRASS

Red Bull:
That's it! This drink's about to fire shots off
12 ounces and I still blow you out the water!
When I rock the mic, I'm liked by every damn critic
You're enjoyed by any boomer with a penny to split with
So fuck wings! How 'bout you get some bitches? (HUH)
Every flavor that you have is always mid shit (HUH)
Yeah, I don't need any fancy artists or design
To put the picture in your head I'm winning every single time

Monster Energy:
Bout to drop a mad verse on this lame ass
(AY AY) WHEN IT COMES TO BEATS I'M THE APEX
AND I'M PRACTICALLY A FUCKIN’ MONOPOLY, COULDN'T YOU SEE?
LOVIN' THESE BEATS, MY BRAND IS A MONEY MACHINE (AYYY)
TALKING BOOMERS WHEN YOU'RE LITERALLY THE BOOMER OF OUR BRANDS
SO GO CATCH SOME BETTER ADS OR YOU'RE CATCHIN' UP THESE HANDS
YOU GOT ZERO FUCKING CASH, 'CAUSE THIS CAN IS MADDER
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THIS BATTLE 'CAUSE I'M CRANKING OUT THAT BANGER AFTER BANGER

Bang Energy:
Did somebody say bang?

Monster Energy:
I BANGED YOUR MOM *SHOOTS BANG ENERGY*

Red Bull:
That verse was a good tip on how your offbrands left the market
Saturated with zero spots left to get some thought in so stop it
You claim a monopoly but you're not bitch, I see through ya
Left our market overblown like COCA COLA ESPUMA
You missed the mark like your Ultra Gold and Java
You've had no legs to stand on since you sold juice products!
This brand bully's bout to land fully in a ditch
I'm soaring high above you... Red Bull gives you wiiiii-

Monster Energy:
BITCH SHUT THE HELL UP, GOD, I'M TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT SO
I'LL KICK YOUR ASS FASTER THAN I BOOTED BANG OUT OF BRITAIN
YOU SAY YOU GOT PEOPLE HOOKED ON THAT FUCKING GASOLINE BRO?
I'LL LEAVE YOUR STYLE AND BRAND CRUSHED LIKE A CAN ON THE ROAD
I GOT THE STAMINA, (YUH) LYRIC SLAMMIN' YA (YUH)
YOU'VE BEEN BELOW ME SINCE THE DAYS OF HANSEN NATURAL!
I'M DONE WITH THIS VERSE AND THIS ASS IS DEFEATED
HERE'S MY NEW FLAVOR: YOU CAN SUCK MY ULTRA PENIS

G-Fuel:
G-Fuel is entering the party now to shake it up
Against the two blandest of flavors, I just cannot make it up
So I suggest you brace yourselves, I'm going for the throat
And droppin a variety pack of bars cause I'm the goat
I went from online to making the stores mine
How you offer sweepstakes but not fire in your lines?
You prove it with every rhyme, you can't mix it up like I do
… That also goes for your buddy on the side too
When I start a partnership I crank it to 11
You start up a partnership to shill in Ninja Tyler Blevins
Now I'm sending y'all to heaven, you weak drinks can eat my dust
Turned you both to powder, I guess that makes three of us

Monster Energy vs Red Bull. R∆P BATTLE!

yeah yeah I know it's late but ligma

Sandbag:
Stepping up to the plate and I oughta say 
A mini-boss from the garbage is who I gotta face? 
My spirit can save the player at critical health
Your spirit is only good at damaging yourself
So this rotten cotton thinks that he can handle getting dissed? 
No matter what Frisk does, it always seems to make you pissed
I mean with that attitude, seems you need to learn some patience 
Missing the player doesn’t mean that it’s time for raging
Dropping bars like items but there won’t be no healing
Can’t be K.Oed no matter what hits you’re dealing 
Look at the gameplay, I’m truly known to go further
Turn into Glad Dummy once you’ve witnessed this murder

Mad Dummy: 
Foolish! Foolish! Foolish! you’re guaranteed to lose
Though you’re used to being served up as combo food 
That or little kids who spam every button they can press
No matter what pain I inflict, you’ll enjoy it none the less
You think that blank face would make me feel threatened? 
When players only see you on their screen for 10 seconds
Honestly I’d float away cause all of your shots missed
Only interesting when you crash the game as a glitch
Check that spirit match, you can’t do anything but sit idly
In Ultimate you’ve been downgraded to test out new fighting Miis
Got lines like my missiles aiming at you, so duck down 
Makes sense the staple of Home Run Contest just struck out 

Sandbag - MasonG
Mad Dummy - Nekomancer
Written by JustGamer
Additional Help by Snakebite126
Mixed by Serena
Beat by Kustom  
Cover art by Serena

Sandbag vs Mad Dummy - Smash Bros vs. Anything

Sheldon Voiced By Matt Raichous
Spencer Voiced By  RaccoonBroVA
Thumbnail By Oofie
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Additional Help By Cri and Anthony Rigatanthoni


BEAT: Old School Slim Shady Type Beat / Weird Funny Hip Hop Rap Beat "Kiss My Ass" Prod. ILL Fortune





Sheldon:

Leonard! Did you call the FBI?
Looks like Quantico sent the OCD P.I.
I would be impressed by your skills on the street
But they won’t help you find how I kill the beat(Bazinga)
I got lyrical theory, scientifically I’m superior
Check the Emmys I got, your show is just inferior
You were growing up delirious, a schizophrenic time bomb
Show was such a bygone, it’s being preached by my mom
You use science as a gimmick
For the magic that you use to fail to pick up women
And It should be a given, getting the fans adoring
But somehow you can make chasing criminals boring
You think I’m jealous, you captured tons of felons?
While I’m still here pulling crowds as Young Sheldon
But I should probably tell him in this match, I got this
My raps are so addicting, you can call them dilaudid.

Spencer:

Hotch? Rossi? This doesn’t seem right.
The MO of our guy says he doesn’t like to fight
But he’s actually here. Trying to get me riled
You wanna play games? Let’s start the profile
A wordy nerd pushing up into his 30s
Ego makes him think he’s worthy, but in truth he’s undeserving
Of a flurry of appraisal his fans just overused
Like the laugh track you abuse to tell them they’re amused!
For us geeks, friends are hard to find.
Which is why it’s baffling you insult yours all the time
I was tortured and shot, needing a cane to walk
But that wasn’t as painful as listening to you talk
Thinking you’re the Apex human is confusing
I drop bombs like Garner, you got twice his delusions!
I push passed my fears, you run away when you’re frightened
You’re Friends with Flags? Time to throw up the white one

Sheldon:

Sorry Reid, I’m disproving your theory
Think you make an impact, let’s look back at our series
(Heh heh) In less time I was made into an icon
Comedy even tighter than the sweater vests you try on
Tried proving your tough, but not effective
When your whole crew treats you like the junior detective
You strive to find happiness just to watch it all end
Left a hole in your heart and your dead girlfriend

Spencer:

You can claim that my life is a tragedy
But really if you ask me, the only thing that’s sad to see
Is you actually convince some lonely girl to marry you
Surprised you didn’t flee, Smarter guys are always scaring you!
And you’ll need more than catchphrases to faze me
It’s crazy they let your show’s writing be lazy
So as you fame fades, there’s no point in faking it
This win isn’t your spot, ‘cause I’m the one taking it

Sheldon Cooper Vs. Spencer Reid - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Del Lago vs. Big Bertha - Royale Rap battle!

Skitzy as Del Lago

Joosh as Big Bertha

Mixed by Jort

Flowtest by Jofinity

Thumbnail by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 

Chiseled by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 

Writers:
King Ducky

Writing assistance:
E-man
Futur3f1lmm4k3r 

Beat prod. Ihaksi (U-boat)

(0:17) Del Lago:
Here's comes the guardian of the lake, here to blow you out the water
I can hold my own; no mistake! While you're just Cheep Cheep fireball fodder!
The area I inhabit surrounds me with water but I can still spit fuego 
Cause I'm the best at constructing bars; you can call me Dal Lego 

You're just a fish, like most of Bowser's goons, I'd rather face, Bloopers, Splounders, Foos 
Yet im against a clown who could go down with just a round or two
But I'll just need one power dude to freaking plough through you 
called a fire flower oh, one shot from that and then you're screwed!

Just one slap from my hand and you'll go flying then drop in a free fall
Though I shouldn't expect much from a big mouthed purple beach ball
I'm a legendary beast! Amazing hunting skills like no other
While they only call you Cheep Chomp since you're a Cheap Cheep recolor! 

Nobody could even take you seriously, you know you've got the loss, right?
Should've warned this appetizer that I don't go easy on nooby's 
Now I've ended you in round one, this battle was easier than your boss fight
I knew this wasn't worth my time once I found you in the Mario movie! 

(1:01) Big Bertha:
After I come into the fray, your dead body will leave no trace!
There's only two of us here and I ain't taking second place
So shut your mouth and listen to my phenomenal bars
And take all of these verbal harpoons right to your face!

The Mario games break banks, this enormous fish is a tank
I grew to be what I am, you've got Las Plagas to thank
Disposed of losers in one bite and wrose to my rank
You're not a hunter, the villagers feed you like a fish in a tank! 
Soon Leon came around and killed you, down ya sank
My remedys and rhymes display how sick I am, i'm so dank
And well if I have to be frank you definitely smell
All that sewer water ya drank must be causing all that stank 

Saddler infected this salamander; turned it into a huge nerd
And now this commander's forced to slander a loser lookin like Gigante's turds
Oh and Judging by all of that footage that I saw
the expression is a thorn in your side, not a spear in your jaw! (Nope!)

(1:45) Del Lago:
Did anybody ever warn this clown to not shoot at the lake?
I mean, you’re such an easy target that anyone can take
You trying to rap against me just makes you look dumber 
At least I get defeated by a trained professional; you die to a plumber

(1:58) Big Bertha:
Stop already, you really don't want me to get pissed
But I guess I won't be considering all the shots ya fired missed
After Moreau appeared everyone forgot you exist
Since he bit off your schtick but did way better at it! 

Del Lago vs. Big Bertha - Mario vs. Anything! [ft. Skitzy & Joosh]

Originally uploaded: December 4, 2020

UBERocity as Squidward
Raichous as Bert
Written by Serena and Mason
Produced by Kustom
Mixed and Mastered by Serena

Squidward:
I've been welcomed to battle by a silly moaning bonehead
It takes a musical genius to crack this yellow conehead
It’s ironic that his show makes me feel braindead
I’d rather watch Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared instead!
You grew up in the street? Coulda fooled me
You only appeal to kids with ADHD
As annoying as he is, even Spongebob would agree
This is more of a waste of time than Journey to Ernie

Bert:
Oh wow, the brash cashier wants to say his two cents?
It makes sense, it’s time I beat this fishy nuisance
You call me annoying? Stop running your mouth
It’s not the first time you’d come second to a dude with a better brow
Going strong since the 60s, your series appals
Season 4 was your C4, no doubt Bikini took Atoll
2004 was your peak, after that, you sunk
After good ol’ Steven’s death, you’ll never leave this funk

Squidward:
2004 was my peak? Let’s look at the facts
For one, at least my network didn’t give me the axe
It makes a lot of sense that you stay in the basement
Hiding that you’re buddy buddy with the extremists
Your presence is unbearable, comedy’s inconsistent
That seems to be what happens when you don’t have your assistant
This may be a rap battle, but I don’t need to Dutchman’s curse
Leaving you flying away, make sure to Follow That Burn

Bert:
PBS cut us off, because they knew when to stop
Nickelodeon just doesn’t, that’s why their ratings flop
We’re buddy buddy with Al Qaeda? Come again man?
That was a rumour, you must be dumber than your fans!
I don’t need Ernie, I’m a one man concerto
Riddle me this, who would watch the Squidward show?
No one, that’s who, I guess it wouldn’t be a change
You appeal to children, I appeal to any age
After my verse, I’m positive you’ll be done
Your rapping is somehow worse than Sponge On The Run
You were reaching for disses, everyone could tell
Kids, this battle’s brought to you by the letter L

Squidward Vs Bert. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. UBERocity and Raichous)

Welcome to the final RBA of the month! In this explosive finale we have Bowser Jr. going up against Gideon Graves!

Kamren The Person as Gideon Graves
Snakebite126 as Bowser Jr,
Written by Serena
Produced by Hollywood Legend Productions
Mixed and Mastered by Serena
Special thanks to UBERocity

Gideon Graves:
Now I would never kill a child, aw who am I kidding
It’s gonna be a murder scene by the time I’m done spitting
Wanna be an adult? Well welcome to the club
Daddy won’t be able to protect you this time bub
Gideon Graves, on this beat I’m an ace
Everything that you say, just gives me a massive headache
Make this brief like your first appearance, I gotta run
Does you drowning in my flow give you flashbacks to F.L.U.D.D.
It’s been 19 years, and you haven’t developed
Aside from being more and more of a player repellent
Wearing a diaper on your head makes sense, you’re crappy
Princess Peach ain’t your momma but I’m for sure your daddy

Bowser Jr.:
Couldn’t find a woman to abuse so you rap battled a child
Nothing but insecurity behind that incel smile
Subspace isn’t big enough to hold the girls you’ve wronged
Turns out your whole plan was a Sex-Bob-Omb!
Junior (ayy) beats ya (ayy)
Loser (ayy) creep stare (ayy)
Better get prepared to meet the
Monster that lies behind the mask (woah)
You may think you’re a genius but I know that’s all for show
You couldn’t brighten up your future with The Glow
You had to turn into a monster for girls to find you sexy
And you had to cheat your way into Ramona…classy
Don’t need the Power of Love to beat you in this fight
Go to r/niceguys and post out of spite, yeah right
All I see is pain and anger behind those eyes, wow
It’s not my Bob-omb that’s blowing up right now

Gideon Graves:
That’s it you little shit! You barely got into Smash
Just so New Super Mario Bros U could get some cash!
I’m the man of every woman’s dreams!
All you know how to do is scream green beams
The power of love is nothing to the power of skill
I can read your thoughts like Todd, broken; will
You can’t paint your victory with a magic toothbrush
You’re just another mortal in my grasp I’ll crush

Bowser Jr.:
Man of every woman’s dreams? Are you dense?
You planted a chip in her head, how does that make sense?

Gideon Graves:
I’m legally not required to answer
With how short your legs are I’m surprised you can stand, sir

Bowser Jr.:
How about you calm down and get it together
It really doesn’t matter the difference whether
You’re a record label owner, or an evil supervillain
You winning this battle is just a superstition

Gideon Graves:
Quiet down child, really think you can break me
Half of your appearances have straight up been 2D
Now on this beat, is the space you shall lie
I guess right now was a convenient time to die

Gideon Graves Vs Bowser Jr. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. Kamren The Person and Snakebite126)

we are everywhere!
nEon as Kin Kid
Rayyan as Justin Y
Written by:M&Matt and WDRB
Mixed by:Jort
Beat by:Anywaywell

Kin Kid: 
Yay! I love rap battles! I finally get to rap one!
And not against that one fat guy from Danganronpa!
Wait, it's Justin? Why, I thought you’d be a bit meaner
But it's no surprise you’re tryna chew me out, Justin beaver
Its childish to argue, I got the best rhymes dude, im kinning psytube
While I never took a break, the constant comments sliced through you
I grow up to be This Man, of course i'm a better battle header
But tell me Justin, Why was the communities Better? 

Justin Y: 
So the son of some guy Rabi, is tryna rob the win?
Whose memes in frb are constantly left forgotten? (Shit!)
And like his first battle he's just a skeleton in a coffin?
So you turned Rabi to Robbie, and left your verse Rotten!
Your entire character is stealing shticks. How can you beat me?
Surprised you didn't start your verse like “I'm the NB MC”
Treating your raps like a game, no surprise its so low quality
So id say it's pretty fitting that your kinning for Baldi

Kin Kid:
Nobody wants to be friends, Logan has seen better days
He's the hacker, but you ending this battle? Justin Y-2k
Won't shutter in my boots, when we can just leave you blocked
A Ninja hiding from the public? What a shutter shock
Even at my youngest i've done a little bit of trolling
But commenting a few times left this ninja folding
Fitting your coming after me, a meme, when you only use
Reddit and discord, I just go in general to beat you

Justin Y:
You lost to rng, his bars cut clean, left you dead after his verse
I guess now your only ‘first” to the memes getting merced
Nobodies searchin' for this loser nerd kid, never in the spotlight
Fun fact: You fell flat, i'll cross you out, call me gridline
Just a mascot to the kings team, fitting you’ve been lyin'
They can't even use you right, think they will give a chance at fighting?
Rabi left behind for scraps, but even they are getting steady
Cant even go back to AvA they left you behind already

Kin Kid vs Justin Y-Rap Fight!(feat:nEon and Rayyan)

This is a battle I made for a contest my friend @user-246183970 hosted. This was from the final round, where we had to make an audio only battle entirely from scratch, with the matchup being something Jenni would think she'd like. 

I went with a Caddicarus battle because she (like me) is a fan of his videos, and chose Chills to be his opponent because uhhh they're Youtubers who's usernames start with C and also their videos are completely different genres ig????

After months of needing deadline extensions, it's finally finished. Not the biggest effort I've ever put into a battle but I think it's kinda decent still. Enjoy!

Caddicarus (0:16):
Greetings and salutations!
Welcome back to the show where I Slaughter worthless garbage with zero Salvation
Today we’re looking at a channel that makes George Wood seem grand
Presenting Cheesy horror vids as if they weren’t pre-planned
The creatures you feature would run if they saw Spons
And as for your music career? I have just one word: STOP
You probably think your shite narrations are the best in the game
But I know a friend of mine who would leave you upstaged…

Daddy Caddy:
Once there was a boy with nasally arse voice
Who thought “I’ll copy Watchmojo in an attempt to make some noise”
But all his lists were shit, and he got mocked across the net
‘Til the fact he was a joke became something he had to accept

Chills:
The last thing you’d want in your YouTube vid
Is a limey Sasquatch yelling at games made for kids
No April Fools skit, this will be your assassination
Deny your attempts at winning like your Normal Boots application
Like you do to your viewers’ ears, I’m dishing out verbal murder
And firing shots — would you like a bullet with your verse, sir?
Without your fast paced edits and random usage of memes
Then there would be nothing Salvageable about you, it seems
On top of that, you’ve gone downhill since your show’s formula got scrapped
No longer fly like a Phoenix with all that hour long trash
Every Thursday and Saturday, my fans are glued to their seats
While your fans are waiting decades between your every release

Caddicarus:
Roast this meat slab on the beat as if I was the Bacon Wizard
And my content requires effort, ya bastard! That’s where we differ
Seriously! You’ve got the most soulless commentary I’ve ever seen (sin)
So I’ll put this wet lettuce where he belongs: in the bin

Chills:
Give you a red circle, maybe you’ll get the clicks that I gain
Really had your name changed ‘cuz you hated some talking train?
(ay, ay) Don’t gamer rage about coming second, guy
‘Cuz you’ll be ranked Number One on my Top 10 Career Suicides

Beat by Epistra
Writing, Voicework and Mixing all by Me
Cover Art by MasonG

Caddicarus vs Chills. The Next Best Battle.

Matt Raichous as Shaggy Rogers and Ron Stoppable

Beat by S!dek!ck
Written, Mixed, and Edited by Matt Raichous

--LYRICS--
SHAGGY
Like, man, you think it’s hard to be a sidekick in the background?
Try being out on the frontlines when a monster comes around
I’ve seen millions of ghouls that make me wanna stop and vomit
Like that freaky hairless thing you like to carry in your pocket

RON
Hey! Don’t talk about Rufus when your dog is a doofus
Like Dr. Drakken, I’m ruthless, while your whole series is stupid
It’s useless to step up to the plate and face off with the Fearless Ferret
I saved the world from invasion, while you’re disappointing your parents
An iron stomach that couldn’t handle my naco
You’re not a hero, dude, I know it’s hard to swallow
But when all you do is follow, and never speak your mind
It’s like you’re in denial of the role you were assigned

SHAGGY
You think you’re, like, funny, but buddy, you’re witless
Your jokes are, like, ham-Fisted Monkey business
Nothing you do could be seen as comedic
Except for, like, anytime you get defeated
You live up to your name, Ron, cuz, like, you’re Stoppable
You’re never a threat, like, the weakest I’ve met, like, at best, like, you’re maybe an obstacle

RON
Can you think of anything other than to tell me I’m unfunny?
At least my jokes had a budget, you were eating all of your money
Your bars are redundant, just like your animation recycling

SHAGGY
I’ve held strong for decades, one movie sent you spiraling
Your Disney Channel live action got some really poor reactions
Used to be crafted with passion, now there's not even a fraction
Just dollar signs in the eyes of the guys behind the scenes
As your franchise loses everything by pandering to teens
You’re incompetent, Ron, you only ever win by accident
Give up and be a villain, that’s the only time you’re adequate
An actuary masochist, who just can’t seem to take a hint
Pathetic as a hero, like, your sister is a better fit
Go back to camp Wannaweep for a better chance at survival
Like, man, I’ve Gottagrin knowing you won’t get a revival 
Tangled in your mangled plotlines, like, it's gotta be painful
To put in all that effort, just to have your pants around your ankles

RON
Woah, dude, chill out, ‘cause you shouldn’t bring up losses
When you have four movies that all failed to make a profit
You’re still a stinkin’ hippie, when it’s rough, you get running
Looks like military schooling just wasn’t worth your parents’ money
Fifty years later, you’ve still got the same show, pacing and plotlines, and even the same jokes
How does the saying go? Don’t fix what ain’t broke, too bad your franchise is stale like it’s bread, though
This Mad Dog’s Barkin orders, cuz you’re baked and couldn’t make it
And you’re puffing out your chest, but the viewers know you’re faking
While the audience still loves me two decades later
The only one who loved you was an alien invader
And later, when you’re rebooted for the fifteenth time
The made up legends of your legacy are getting left behind

SHAGGY
All that strength, and you still need your girlfriend to defend you you
No matter what you do, you’re a buffoon in the end, dude
Mock me for my running, I’ll prove you’re the bigger coward

RON
And how’re you gonna do that?

SHAGGY
With one percent of my power! (Zoinks!)
Going Super Shag when I’m fast on the track
Try to roast me but everything you say falls flat
Can’t match my flow, like, you’re going too slow
Wanna go toe to toe getting dragged through your show
You fell into my trap, man, like, you’re the live bait
Let’s unmask this hungry horror and put an L on his plate

RON
Alright, we get it, bro, you’re fast, but that’s not always a good thing
No wonder Velma stopped shagging with you and kept looking
Now, you crossed the finish line, but you’re still the biggest loser
After all, brochacho, I’m Un-Stoppable! Booyah!

Shaggy Rogers vs. Ron Stoppable - Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia

The official SoundCloud page for the mediocre rap battle series! (I ran out of space on my main account and I wanna post more original music there lol)

Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgic is an Epic Rap Battles of History style rap battle series with the focus of using nostalgic fictional characters.

Series run by Matt Raichous

Squidward Vs Bert. Rap Battle Arena. (Feat. UBERocity and Raichous)

Rap Battle Arena

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