Why are my thoughts like this?
Always twist what’s fine
Build a wall, then wonder why
No one’s inside it
Why are my thoughts like this?
Every calm turns into doubt
Every truth I figure out
I start to fight it
Why are my thoughts like this?

why are my thoughts like this?

I’m in the middle of mending Not the start, not the endin’ Still learnin’ what to hold, what to miss Call it progress, call it bliss I don’t need the pain to disappear Just need peace to keep me near I’m in the middle of mending And that’s fine with me

MIDDLE

Iced out Cuban link
Cold on my neck, but I barely blink
I remember nights with an empty sink
Now I wash my hands in gold and think
It don’t make me what I am
But it show me where I been
Yeah, this shine don’t fix the pain
But it remind me I still can win

iced out cuban link

Diamond smile, yeah it glisten right
Like an iced-out grill in the city lights
Whole world think I’m fine tonight
But pain still bite under shine that bright
Diamond smile, I been through miles
Turned my tears to a different style
It don’t fix, but it reconcile
That’s why I wear this diamond smile

Diamond Smile

Yeah, I’m frostbit
Too numb to feel what I wanted
All this shine don’t thaw it
Every win still haunted
Yeah, I’m frostbit
Cold flex, no promise
Gold touch turn toxic
But I still flaunt it
Yeah, I’m frostbit

frostbit

Melted ice, I’m breathin’ again
All that frost just hid my skin
Took the weight, turned it thin
Now I shine from within
Melted ice, I’m free from the trend
Don’t need glow to pretend
It’s still cold where I’ve been
But I’m warm in the end

melted ice

I got a cold shoulder sun
Still heat under everything I’ve done
You can’t melt what I’ve become
I’m gold, I’m rust, I’m both at once
Yeah, I walk where the light don’t run
Still rise, but I don’t chase none
Every scar I wear weighs a ton
But I smile like I already won

cold shoulder sun

Suicide doors on the coupe, no fear
Whole life open, I’m finally here
If it end tonight, I’m clear
I done lived through worse, my dear
Suicide doors to the pain I knew
Everything dark got a different hue
Now I slide through rain like new
Ain’t runnin’ .. just passin’ through

Suicide Doors

In my midnight mansion, I can’t find rest
All these memories dressed in my Sunday best
I got ghosts wearin’ Cartier chains on their necks
And I still toast alone to the ones I forget
Yeah, I built my dream with broken hands
Now I’m king of what I can’t understand
In my midnight mansion, I can’t find rest
Just reflections of the man I left

Midnight Mansion

So I’m high again, way past gone Feelin’ like the world still do me wrong Got the city lights singin’ my song And I’m alright as long as it’s strong Yeah, I’m high again, out my zone Still ain’t learn to leave it alone They say I should change, maybe so But I only feel real when I’m gone

high again

I've been driving past your exit for the last six months
Tell myself I'm just going this way for work
But there's three other routes and we both know
I'm hoping that I'll see your car
Even though I know I shouldn't wanna see your car

'Cause what the fuck would I even say?
"Sorry I became a stranger in the middle of everything"?

I used to be the driver, now I'm just a passenger
Watching my own life like I'm not even here
Used to have opinions, now I just agree
Used to feel everything, now I don't feel anything
I used to be somebody, at least I think I was
Now I can't remember who I was before
Before I became whatever this is

My brother says I should start dating, get back out there
Like finding someone new would fix whatever's wrong in here
I can barely stand myself most days
How the fuck am I supposed to let someone else stay?
Plus I'd just compare them all to you anyway

And that's not fair to them or me
But nothing really is, so fuck it

I used to be the driver, now I'm just a passenger
Watching my own life like I'm not even here
Used to have opinions, now I just agree
Used to feel everything, now I don't feel anything
I used to be somebody, at least I think I was
Now I can't remember who I was before
Before I became whatever this is

And I'm not saying it's your fault
I'm just saying I don't recognize myself at all
Since you left, I've just been coasting
And I'm scared that I've been coasting so long
I forgot how to drive

I don't wanna be a passenger anymore
Watching my own life through some bulletproof door
I used to give a shit, I used to try
Now I'm just killing time until I die
I don't wanna be a passenger
I just wanna feel like myself again
Whoever that is

I drove past your exit again today
But this time I kept going
This time I kept going

why are my thoughts like this?

TriLL