Hey, what else can I tell ya, it's episode 506 of the Reg'lar Features podcast. In this one, Steve's on about legs. Log's on about herons. And Joe's on about the various nicknames given by George W Bush to his closest Colin Powells. 

Get it in ya!

knees up for croin

506: I'm The Boy With Bums In His Hair

This week we go back to bible times and learn about syrups and Log has a new enemy. 

Please retweet this so that we can go to the Kebab Awards again please:
https://twitter.com/RegularFeatures/status/1552632683787952130

£££4Syzurp

515: The Invincible Golden Syrup Girl

Prince Harry's tadger keeps transporting him into realms of reveries, and we simply can't get enough.

Click 4 Dick Dollars

516: The Prince's Bolivian Fight

When you wish upon a star, does it come true? It hasn't for me, so far. I'm only asking to test the "makes no difference who you are" hypothesis. I mean it'd be a *bit* annoying if we've all been sucked in by an international wish-granting scam. But it'd be absolutely galling if I was the only sap diligently facing his wish mat towards Orlando and NOT getting his fondest wish granted. (My fondest wish, in case you were wondering, is to see a punk help an old lady cross the road in Piccadilly Circus, like they used to in the '80s.). If you HAVE had a wish granted on a star, the Kilroy team would like to talk to you. 

In this two-boy lesstravaganza, Steve has had his nail bit to shreds by a friend's dog, and Log has noticed a very old song leaves uses frustratingly vague language with regards to the villain of the piece: to wit, who left that cakey boy all out in the wet wets? It's his hackiest bit yet! (I'm allowed to say that, I am him)

Meanwhile, If you want to read a blog written by a Christian in 2010 that posed precisely the same question as Log, but without using the phrase "f**k the mush with your winkle", check out "Nagging Questions: MacArthur Park" on the AnotherThink blog. NO I WON'T LINK IT

Stop Dat Plop

521: Someone Left The Cake Out With Bourdain

Hoik up your britches and join us in the Regular Features tide pool, but mind you don't step on a hermit crab or one of those cool wet slugs. They were here first and we are their guests in the tide pool. We must always remember that the wet slug is our hostess. Write it down. Write down in your copybook that the wet slug is your hostess before you get into the tide pool.

In this episode, Joe is visited by a Babadook who wants to set the record straight. And Steve's received a newsletter from Roger Helmer with some top ideas about where to house asylum seekers. Log? Well, Log attended. He was *there*. You can't take that away from him.

we NEED cash

524: Roger Baba Helmer Dook

Our heroes watch a crime epic about how money always wins.

We Just Watched... Casino

I am REALLY gassy right now.

Log does Mandalorian via Pussy Pals.
Steve does meat of the week.
Matt been stench in p*******.

God, I am so gassy.

wet me ;)

526: Crab Rangoon's Piss Wars

Think of a breakfast meat. Now think of a member of the royal family. You were thinking of Black Pudding Camilla weren't you? No? Oh right, then you must have been thinking about the big man himself, ol' Charlie boy and his beautiful sausage fingers, each one inflated to 240PSI and fit to burst at the knuckles.

Log has done a feature all about what it must be like to be those fingers. Steve's been humming a little song about beans all day. Joe attends, clutching his pearls and screeching uncontrollably.

donate a sausage

528: Would You Like Beans With Those Sausages?

This week's episode comes directly from Joe's Stag Do. A stag do is where boys go to do podcasts, and we highly recommend it, especially to you, MISSUS. Gav quizzes Joe on the likes, dislikes, and historic whereabouts of his fiancée. Steve writes a poem to rival that one about your parents being bad for your bonce. Log commits horrors with language alone.

HONEYMOON COINS

529: Stag Don't

You are in a egg. Oh it is such a big a egg. But you want to be free of a egg. You crack open the tippy-top of a egg. Oh! It is so bright! It is so frightening! Perhap you would prefer to stay in a egg.

But then your eyes adjust to the light of the world that is not a egg. You see three faces. They are lovely faces, all shaped like a egg. One face is called Steve. He says he will tell you the shipping news, and about an indiscretion with his junk in a park. Another face is called Joe. He regales you about yoghurt. What is yoghurt? Is it also from a egg? The final face is called Log. He tells you about his haunted house, Blyth Manor - and that it contains a egg.

A egg! You must leave. You must leave a egg to find out more about all the a eggs around. It is time.

Money for a egg?

540: A egg.

You've heard of good podcasts, now get ready for fast podcasts. 

That's right, in this very special and speedy episode of Regular Features, Joe, Log and Steve will pepper your naked body with a quickfire hail of what science is calling "Actual Micro-Features". 

It's like we are feature Scarfaces, and the features are the bullets, and you are an entire Bolivian drugs cartel bent on revenge. Any smaller, and these features would be a sort of inhalable mist. And that simply wouldn't do, now would it?

Say hello to our little features.

look into microscope

541: A Series of Very Very Tiny Features

Steve, Log, Joe, Matt and Gav present the podcast that's the same every week

528: Would You Like Beans With Those Sausages?

Regular Features

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