I used to spend my holidays alone
An anthropomorphic oar, pretty bored
Sittin inside of his home, oh no

But then you met me, and I suggested we
Go on a little holiday trip, really quick
And we went down to the Bahamas for a dip
And we just kept going

Christmas can be every day
When you’re travelin' the world and you’re an oar and you’re gay
We ate tangerines in Tokyo
Then caught a flight to Borneo
And spent a day in Rekjavik
The hot dogs there were pretty sick

Every trip ya take is a gift
When you love the livin' hell out of the one that you’re with
We’ve been to Bangalore
and BogoTA
Had onion rings in Omaha

Got high as hell in Amsterdam
And ate up all our Christmas ham

God damn that was a damn good ham

And now the future that we make is our own
Close your eyes and throw a dart at the map, and that’s that,
Off to destinations unknown
I hope wherever we go has more ham

Travelin’s such a wonderful ride
But it’d be a drag without you here at my side
Why don’t we stop for brunch in Saskatoon
Namibia to see some dunes
Chicago just to peep the bean
And also bone beneath the bean

Antarctica if we’ve got time
I hear that France has decent wine
To London when the tea is served
And maybe skip St. Petersburg

Hey what’s the deal with Idaho?
Like should we bother? I dunno.
Singapore or Bora Bora?
Either, oar, cause I adore ya

Either Oar

I hate to tell ya, my fine equine
But it’s lookin like your number's up
I know you’d love to stay around a-just a-little bit a-longer
But your lungs are full of sticky muck

So take a gallop with me toward eternity
Forget about your earthly plight!
And put one hoof
in front of the other
in front of the other
in front of the other
And clip clop into the light 

[LOST VERSE (a little rough)
I know you’ll miss this place
And all the things that made you you
But uh, I don’t mean to harp on it
You were the you that also drowned in goo

So give it up my friend, congrats on meeting your end
No other options try as you might
But put one hoof
in front of the other
in front of the other
in front of the other
And clip clop into the light]

(Interlude)

I hope my wife died too, so I can see her soon
And smooch her spooky horse-ghost lips
And stare into her gorgeous fucked-up oblong horsey pupils
As we drift into the vast abyss

I guess I’m ready to go into the great unknown
(It seems you’re ready to go into the great unknown)
It’s been a lovely horsey life
I’ll put one hoof in front of the other in front of the other
(Ya put one hoof in front of the other in front of the other)
And clip clop into the light!

*VOOM! PLOINK!*

Clip Clop Into The Light

Hologram Professor Song - Puppet History

13. Ol' Dirty Bastard - Brooklyn Zoo (Kijé Bootleg Remix)

Sometimes your life don’t go exactly how you planned
A volcano eats your wife and a witch kills all your friends

And what else can you do
But hop aboard a spaceship with a french fries and a can of soup

You've gotta believe in yourself even if you’re just a hologram
Even if nobody gives a damn

There's not a single plupple gonna stop you cause you got a plan
Travel back in time and murder Pam

And sometimes you get marooned
Didn’t plan on plupples for your honeymoon

And sometimes you get locked up
Sittin in a cell while plupples plup plup plup 

But somewhere deep inside
You know your tasty pals are gonna find a way to save your hide

You've got a love inside your heart it’s burnin' like a fryin' pan
So you’ll keep existin' if you can

Cause it’s a Hot Daga
A juicy little tale about just doin’ the best you can
And it’s got a hundred billion fans

And it’s critically acclaimed

Plupple Honeymoon

Oh well
Comin' outta my shell
Whoever knew that it could feel so swell

Yes sir, today
I’m here to stay
I’m sad that giant plupple passed away

Y’know, in all our lives we go through darkness 
For example I was hypnotized for many, many years and I’m frankly not too happy about it

But soon my troubles passed me by by by
But I’m unburdened and I’m feathery, and this bird is feelin' ready 
To take it to the sky

I wonder why
Those plupples made a king of such a simple guy
You’d think they’d want a ruler, maybe saner and a little cooler
Than a cracked egg with two vacant eyes

[Instrumental break feat. plupple chorus line]

Life in a shell can be hell if you're under a spell
But if ya do your best, I attest your tasty friends will take care of the rest

I once killed* the Pope with my friend Mike Soup
But he was bad so it was rad and now it’s firmly in the past and now I’m ready to fly the coop

Oh shoot
It’s been a hoot
Wish I could hang but, oh gosh dang, I gotta scoot

I think I’ll grab a ride with a holographic corn right by my side
Oh, by the way, I’m Dr. Goondis
So pleased to meet ya
Let's go and find your friends

Outta My Shell

Risky Fixins