pathetics my name

it's not so bad w/ not home (prod. caustyk)

I cant help it when I snap it’s like I’m goin insane
Like u could never understand what’s goin on in my brain
It’s been a minute why the fuck I really thought that I changed
I thought that I was gettin better but I’m still just the same
x2

I don’t wanna be the same don’t wanna push u away
But I don’t blame u if u tell me that u don’t wanna stay
I got some issues even tho it’s no longer every day
But I convince myself that everyone just wanna betray me 
I don’t wanna hate me 
But I don’t like me lately 
Really think that I’m crazy
It’s like somethin takes me
And fucks with my psyche
And tells me no one around me really likes me

I cant help it when I snap it’s like I’m goin insane
Like u could never understand what’s goin on in my brain
It’s been a minute why the fuck I really thought that I changed
I thought that I was gettin better but I’m still just the same
x2

U could hate me
Try not to love me
U could never save me
I just need a hug please
Someone come wake me
From this fuckin nightmare
I don’t mean no harm
Yeah I only wanna play fair

I cant help it when I snap it’s like I’m goin insane
Like u could never understand what’s goin on in my brain
It’s been a minute why the fuck I really thought that I changed
I thought that I was gettin better but I’m still just the same
x2

thought i changed (prod. johnnyfriend)

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

(casperrr)
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a solution to u 
for what somebody else did
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a replacement to u 
tell me who did u lose

(heylog)
she just burn right thru the past
like we were never a thing
baby how could u do that
and throw me against the wave
i just need someone to talk to
and have a soul to stay
i wonder if ppl are leaving me
and parting their own ways
morning always passes by
when i see u it's never right
right right right
when i see you it's always night
our insides exchange heat
when ur body lies w me
i don't want u to leave now
how bout we both just shut down

(casperrr + heylog)
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a solution to u 
for what somebody else did
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a replacement to u 
tell me who did u lose

casperrr x heylog - when ur body lies next to mine (nevrfrvr)

prod. caves

i've been stalking you
can i be somebody new?
waiting on a text from you
but you would never get it thru your head
and my head, 
is killing me right now
while you were chilling with your friends
and you'd never fuck around
who do i trust?
probably you, but
i dont love
no 
not since kyra, and
not since kai
not since the boy across the world
world
the first one was a test run
and the second one he wanted none
if you want me you should've kept me
and i dont know why i didnt respond to you
and now i feel fucked up
i think i fucked up.
fucked up
fucked up
fucked up
fucked up

if not, then rot.

i cant believe im back here again
by myself i never got no friends
isolate, i cant keep up with trends
im busy fighting demons in my head

its been a long road down, im at the end
finally broke i found i cannot bend
i just want to finally make amends
right now with this letter that i send

im so sorry, anything that ive done
if life is a game then i lost and it won
at the end of the day we all have setting suns
i know it seems soon, im not running, im done

if there was only one thing i could say to you
i thank you for the smiles, really got me through
cant look up in the sky cause i see the moon
but theres solace in the knowledge that ill be there soon

i float up, straight up to the moonlight

"up in heaven always seemed so boring"
tell myself while im in purgatory
thought my soul would float up til im soaring
instead im just rotting, no restoring

finally sleep, cause its peaceful now
not a peep, body feeble now
life went fast, but its speeding now
i had a plan, i dont need it now

back here again

Spotify

MUSIC VIDEO: https://youtu.be/oi7Zz4BQzjE?si=9OlulE9wfAJCfYvT
Website: https://www.anxietyattacksmusic.com/
prod: cig x Anxiety Attacks!
mix/master: Anxiety Attacks!

LYRICS:
I don't wanna talk no more
I don't wanna think about you
I hear everything you say
"Yeah I'd be better off without you"
Yeah I said I was missing you
But I just wanna let you know
That I see everything you do
Think I just need to let you go, let you
I don't wanna think no more
I don't wanna talk about you
And I don't wanna hear your name
And I don't wanna be around you
Yeah I said I was missing you
But I'm not really missing nothing
So I just need to let you know
That I'm just gonna let you go, let you go

There's nothing more that I can say to you
There's really only one thing left to do
This story just goes on and on
There's something wrong
I'm seeing all the things you felt but you would never say
I know I'm not everything you thought that I could be
I'd try to fix it all, but I know it's too late
It's time to cut it off, just end it all
We'll think about what could've been
And wait till all the stars align again
Fall into the sun when everything comes to an end
Starting over with someone else, I guess we'll play pretend
I did it all to myself, yeah maybe I need help
Maybe I need

I don't wanna talk no more
I don't wanna think about you
I hear everything you say
"Yeah I'd be better off without you"
Yeah I said I was missing you
But I just wanna let you know
That I see everything you do
Think I just need to let you go, let you
I don't wanna think no more
I don't wanna talk about you
And I don't wanna hear your name
And I don't wanna be around you
Yeah I said I was missing you
But I'm not really missing nothing
So I just need to let you know
That I'm just gonna let you go, let you go

missing u

ugly

may (I'm miserable)

[he4vy] 

 i didnt think that this would happen 
never thought id feel this small
living like a broken shell could you imagine
living like youve never lived at all
and the vices giving me all the distraction 
but it doesnt really help my cause 
swear to god that it feels like im doin back bends
know theyre waiting just to see me fall

pick yourself up off the pavement 
i can tell youre always anxious
if youd give it all youve got kid
i can tell youll be famous
i dont think that i can take this
giving face when faceless
never gonna feel alive
im burnt out like a flamed wick

they dont like the way im living lately 
i know its not healthy 
you say you hate the way im so addicted
god damnit fucking help me
always doing the most
never been one to cope
know its only gets worse
ill pay my dues to a rope
bite my tongue til i choke 
im scared of being alone
can you all just let me go

[halfhearted]

live the same day, again and again
got me looking for the meaning
i keep turning on my only friends
but i hope they know i need them
tried to break a habit but its too late
now i wake up in the morning with these cold shakes 
take a shot to help me ease the migraine 
take a trip and finally leave my hkme staye

never coming back
told u id be better
no need to be sad
no need for the letter 
i was scared that youre broke in two
thats why i never reach out too

hate the way im living
its true
and i know that it drives u crazy
when im stuck inaide my room
in shock
when i think abt you
no other soul that id rather run to
so have space if that what you need
but come back to me x2

let me go ft. halfhearted (king theta)

particles & atoms

particles & atoms (secre)

i lay in my coffin and wait

I have this daily fear i've lived my best, and theres nothing left to come
like these constant notions i piece together don't fuck with me enough
is it the self esteem or the overwhelming selfishness in my blood?
or how i settle down in past mistakes to mask what i've become

i lie awake

atleast im honest
fuck the things you promised
these thoughts engraved inside me make me vomit
atleast im honest 
fuck the things you promised
so dont judge me for these pills inside my pocket
atleast im honest


i lay in my coffin and wait

roach

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