My Disease

Christmas feel good song... And no Mariah Carey in sight (or sound)!!!!

Drunk on Christmas (Again)

“If You Knew Me”

[Verse 1]
If you really knew me, would you stay?
Would you hold my hand or walk away?
My flesh is weak, my mind’s gone cold
I’ve been to places even angels won’t go

I wear a smile like a borrowed skin
But the darkness claws from deep within
I’m scared to death of what I’ve become
But I keep running - I don’t know what from

[Chorus]
Would you still love me if you saw the mess?
The broken thoughts I can't suppress
I crave a cure, I crave a break
But all I know is how to ache
Would you still hold me through the shame?
Or would you just forget my name?
I seek redemption, scared to speak
If you knew me - would you love me?

[Verse 2]
This self-destruction’s in my breath
It’s in my blood, it tastes like death
I want the screams inside to cease
Just one release, just one relief

I got lost, I lost the map
Followed voices that led me back
I don’t blame them - maybe it’s fate
Maybe I was born this way

[Bridge]
Am I a psycho or just afraid?
A narcissist or just betrayed?
Or is that just a clever name
To hide the hurt and shift the blame?
I ache for light, I ache for grace
But self-loathing keeps me in this place
I'm no monster - I don't believe
I'm just me

[Final Chorus]
Would you still love me if I let you in?
If I confessed where I have been
Would you still see me as a man
Or just a shadow with trembling hands?
I seek redemption, scared to speak
If you knew me - would you love me?


Would you still hold me through the shame?
Or would you just forget my name?
I seek redemption, scared to speak
If you knew me - would you love me?

[Verse 2]
This self-destruction’s in my breath
It’s in my blood, it tastes like death
I want the screams inside to cease
Just one release, just one relief

I got lost, I lost the map
Followed voices that led me back
I don’t blame them - maybe it’s fate
Maybe I was born this way


If You Knew Me

Splinters

[Verse 1]
I held the line until it bled
Bit my tongue, believed instead
You said I was too much to feel
So I carved myself to something real

I wore your silence like a crown
Built my worth from breaking down
You loved me most when I was small
Now I’m too loud, too much, too raw

[Pre-Chorus]
You called it love - I called it war
I begged for less, you wanted more

[Chorus]
I’m not your splinter, not your shame
Not the echo of your blame
You made me doubt the skin I’m in
But I won’t wear your hurt again
I’m not your weak, I’m not your wound
I’m not the ghost you left too soon
I’m still standing, cracked and scarred
You lost your grip, you pushed too hard

[Verse 2]
You said I shattered when I spoke
But silence was the cruelest joke
I bent until my spine gave way
You smiled and told me I was brave

But brave don’t mean I didn’t break
Or that I wanted all this ache
You loved the way I came undone
But hated who I had become

[Pre-Chorus]
You called it truth - I called it pain
You held the match, I took the flame

[Chorus]
I’m not your splinter, not your shame
Not the echo of your blame
You made me doubt the skin I’m in
But I won’t wear your hurt again
I’m not your weak, I’m not your wound
I’m not the ghost you left too soon
I’m still standing, cracked and scarred
You lost your grip, you pushed too hard

[Bridge]
You don’t get to name my fire
You don’t get to feed the liar
I’ve stitched my soul with broken thread
And danced with every word you said

[Final Chorus]
I’m not your splinter, not your shame
Not the echo of your blame
You made me doubt the skin I’m in
But I won’t wear your hurt again
I’m not your weak, I’m not your wound
I’m not the ghost you left too soon
I’m still standing, cracked and scarred
You lost your grip, you pushed too hard

Splinters

Splinters (Original)

As Much As I Love You, I Love Me More

Verse 1  
I bent myself to fit your edges,  
Smoothed the cracks, ignored the signs.  
Every quirk I once defended  
Turned to weight I can’t define.  
I gave you room, I gave you patience,  
But the silence grew too loud.  
Now the mirror shows me someone  
Who won’t keep fading in the crowd.  

Pre-Chorus  
I tried to carry us, but it’s breaking my spine,  
Love shouldn’t feel like losing what’s mine.  

Chorus  
As much as I love you, I love me more,  
I won’t keep walking through a closing door.  
If I stay, this love will rot into hate,  
And I won’t gamble with my fate.  
So I’ll choose freedom, I’ll choose the cure
As much as I love you, I love me more.  

Verse 2  
We laughed at storms, we danced through chaos,  
But the rhythm lost its song.  
I kept forgiving, kept explaining,  
Till the right felt like the wrong.  
I don’t despise you, but I’m drowning,  
And I can’t ignore the score.  
Better friends or nothing at all,  
Than a love that asks for war.  

Pre-Chorus  
I’ve learned that compromise can turn into chains,  
And I won’t stay bound by growing pains.  

Chorus  
As much as I love you, I love me more,  
I won’t keep walking through a closing door.  
If I stay, this love will rot into hate,  
And I won’t gamble with my fate.  
So I’ll choose freedom, I’ll choose the cure
As much as I love you, I love me more.  

Bridge  
I wish you well, but I need the air,  
I can’t keep bleeding just to prove I care.  
If the road we walk just leads to regret,  
I’ll take my heart back, no safety net.  

Final Chorus (lifted)  
As much as I love you, I love me more,  
I’ve found the strength I was searching for.  
No resentment, no bitter score,  
As much as I love you… I love me more.  

As Much As I Love You, I Love Me More

“Wipe Those Tears From Your Eyes”

[Verse 1]
I see the way you’re holding on,
Trying hard to make it through the storm.
You think nobody notices the battles deep inside,
But I’m right here, walking every step by your side.

[Pre-Chorus]
And whether they fall from sorrow or from being so worn thin,
You don’t have to face this world alone again.

[Chorus]
So wipe those tears from your eyes,my love,
No more hurting, no more trying just to rise above.
Rest your weary heart tonight,
There’s hope ahead, I promise light
Wipe those tears, wipe those tears from your eyes.

[Verse 2]
I know the nights feel endless,
And the weight you carry steals your breath.
But I believe in every dream you’ve tucked away in fear,
And I’ll hold them safe until the dawn is clear.

[Pre-Chorus]
And whether you cry from heartbreak or from fighting one more day,
Let my arms be the shelter where the shadows fade away.

[Chorus]
So wipe those tears from your eyes, my love,
No more hurting, no more trying just to rise above.
Rest your weary heart tonight,
There’s joy ahead, I swear it’s bright
Wipe those tears, wipe those tears from your eyes.

[Bridge]
Someday you’ll look back and see
How strong you were, how far you’ve come to be.
But until that moment finds you,darling,
Lean on me, lean on me.

[Final Chorus]
Wipe those tears from your eyes, my love,
You are stronger than the storms you’re dreaming of.
Hold on tight, the morning’s near
With hope and laughter reappearing
Wipe those tears, wipe those tears from your eyes.

Wipe Those Tears From Your Eyes

"Choose You Again"

[Verse 1]
Every morning breaks with questions in the light,
Shadows whisper promises, glitter in the night.
But I’ve seen the cost of chasing fleeting flames,
Nothing shines as steady as the sound of your name.

[Chorus]
I choose you again, through the noise and the fire,
Above the vices, the strangers, the fleeting desire.
Every day’s a vow, not just once but renewed,
The world pulls me apart, but I’m bound back to you.

[Verse 2]
Admirers circle, painting pictures in disguise,
But their colors fade when I look into your eyes.
Temptations rise like tides against the shore,
Still I anchor deep — I won’t drift anymore.

[Chorus]
I choose you again, through the noise and the fire,
Above the vices, the strangers, the fleeting desire.
Every day’s a vow, not just once but renewed,
The world pulls me apart, but I’m bound back to you.

[Bridge]
It’s not the grand gestures, not the diamond rings,
It’s the quiet decision in the simplest things.
To stand in the storm, to hold when it rains,
To wake up tomorrow and choose you again.

[Final Chorus (lifted)]
I choose you again, when the night tries to steal,
Through the chaos, the hunger, the wounds that won’t heal.
Every dawn is a promise, every heartbeat is true,
The world offers its all — but I’ll always choose you.


Choose You Again

Never Never Land

[Verse 1]
The lights are burning brighter than the stars tonight,
Every heartbeat’s echo makes our dreams come alive.
We know the clock is ticking, shadows start to fall,
Let’s hold this moment and treasure it all.

[Pre-Chorus]
People grow up, times will change,
But the warmth in us needn’t fade.
What if we could stay, what if we could remain?
Wouldn’t the joy outweigh the pain?

[Chorus]
Hold on, don’t let it fade,
Dreams have lifted nations, just look what we’ve made.
Passions have lifted heaven and earth,
So why can’t we prove what this is worth?
Take my hand, come and stand,
It’s off to never never land.

[Verse 2]
The world will tell us nothing lasts, it all must fall,
But I hear the music rising, louder than it all.
If tomorrow steals the magic, let tonight be ours,
We’ll burn like fire, we’ll shine like stars.

[Pre-Chorus]
What if we could stay, what if we could remain?
Wouldn’t it be joy that outweighs the pain?

[Chorus]
Hold on, don’t let it fade,
Dreams have lifted nations, just look what we’ve made.
Passions have lifted heaven and earth,
So why can’t we prove what this is worth?
Take my hand, come and stand,
It’s off to never never land.

[Verse 3]
Give me your tomorrow and I’ll give you my today,
Let’s trade the fleeting hours for a chance to stay.
Though the world keeps turning, though the seasons fade,
In this moment of forever, our promise is made.

[Pre-Chorus]
What if we could stay, what if we could remain?
Wouldn’t it be joy that outweighs the pain?

[Chorus]
Hold on, don’t let it fade,
Dreams have lifted nations, just look what we’ve made.
Passions have lifted heaven and earth,
So why can’t we prove what this is worth?
Take my hand, come and stand,
It’s off to never never land.

[Bridge]
Wouldn’t it be worth holding on?
Wouldn’t it be worth carrying on?
If the world can change with a single dream,
Then why can’t we make this moment be.

[Final Chorus]
Hold on, don’t let it fade,
Dreams have lifted nations, just look what we’ve made. Passions have lifted heaven and earth,
So why can’t we prove what this is worth?
Take my hand, come and stand,
It’s off to never never land.

[Outro]
The curtain falls, the night must end,
But I’ll remember, my forever friend.
Though time moves on as shadows descend,
I’ll wish this moment would never end.
Can’t we just pretend?


Never Never Land

Where Are You Now?

[Verse 1]
When the nights were bright and the drinks ran free,
You were front and center, always next to me.
In every photo, every laugh, every scene
Living off the shimmer of the places I’d been.
But when the storm rolled in and the sky turned grey,
You slipped through the cracks, quietly walked away.

[Pre-Chorus]
Funny how the truth is found
When no one else is still around…

[Chorus]
Where are you now when the night turns cold?
Where are you now when my grip won’t hold?
I called your name - silence came,
Just empty rings with no one to blame.
Pass you in the street, you turn your eyes
Your loyalty was just disguise.
But it’s alright - I won’t fall down.
Tell me, where are you now?

[Verse 2]
I learned fast what a real friend shows
Not the ones who gather where the good time glows.
Your smiles were plastic, thin and fake,
Cracking like the mask that you tried to make.
I reached for help, but you weren’t there
Left me with the weight, left me with the air.

[Pre-Chorus]
And now I see the reason why
Some people fade while others fly…

[Chorus]
Where are you now when the night turns cold?
Where are you now when my grip won’t hold?
I called once more - no voice, no sound,
Just shadows falling on the ground.
But I’m okay, I’m stronger now.
But it’s alright - I won’t fall down.
So tell me, where are you now?

[Bridge]
Better alone than lost in lies,
Better truth than your disguise.
No more crowds, no plastic cheers 
I’ve shed the weight of all those years.

[Final Chorus]
Where are you now? I don’t need to know.
I found my peace, I found my glow.
You fade like smoke behind me now,
And I walk past without a bow.
I’m standing tall; I’ve held my ground
But it’s alright - I’ve claimed my crown.
So really… where are you now?



























Where Are You Now?

[Verse 1]
I’ve said it soft, I’ve said it loud,
But you don’t hear a single sound.
You talk right through the warning signs,
Running every red like you’re flying blind.
You never look, you never stop,
You push it all until it drops.
And every time I try to steer,
You shut me out like I’m not here.

[Pre-Chorus]
You keep storming on like you can’t be wrong,
But I can only hold this rope so long…

[Chorus]
‘Cause my patience is wearing thin,
And you keep dragging me back in.
You won’t slow down, you won’t turn around,
Just crash through walls without a sound.
I’m trying hard not to give in
But I’m right at the edge again.
You never listen, never change a thing…
And my patience is wearing thin.

[Verse 2]
You spin your wheels, ignore the cost,
Then wonder why you’re always lost.
I give you maps, I give you time,
You fold ‘em up and draw your own lines.
I bite my tongue, I hold my breath,
But you keep running past the rest.
I try to guide, I try to care
But you can’t hear me anywhere.

[Pre-Chorus]
And all your noise keeps drowning out
Every chance we had to work it out…

[Chorus]
‘Cause my patience is wearing thin,
And you keep dragging me back in.
You won’t slow down, you won’t turn around,
Just crash through walls without a sound.
I’m trying hard not to give in
But I’m right at the edge again.
You never listen, never change a thing…
And my patience is wearing thin.

[Bridge]
I can’t be the anchor you keep fighting,
I can’t keep the fire from igniting.
If you won’t hear the truth I’m saying
I can’t be the one who keeps on paying. 

[Final Chorus]
‘Cause my patience is wearing thin,
And I won’t let you pull me in.
You won’t slow down, you won’t turn around
But I won’t follow when you hit the ground.
This time I’m done - this is where I end.
I won’t break just to start again.
You never listened, never let me in…
And my patience is wearing thin.





















My Disease

RolloDe

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