Four BFB playlist

i dont wanna be myself 
i wanna be someone else 
right now, i know 

i changed my mind, ill go to hell
just feed me and keep me in a cell
spend everyday needing so much fucking help
ill tell you the secret and see if you tell 

im not afraid of falling anymore 
i stare at the face 
i ignore features that look the same
theres a hook in my face
pull it out another one forms behind it
instantly cut off circulation
i feel my eyelids flutter as i struggle to sit
i just collapse to my knees in a fit
coughing, laughing, dry heave
punch my fist against the seat and the lid 

theres a message in here somewhere !
changing lanes
ill stay in mine
you stay insane
i love this crowd
dog bites man 
man drops a hydrogen bomb on the ground 
i got a sweet tooth 
i like it when i find hidden objects
i see you
underneath the grass
rubbing against me 
touch it, whats the difference?
ask me if its empty
over turn the glass and get every single last drop out 

oh god its fit right in the palm of my hand now 
rejected blessing i see the angel it shines down
im happy to have the plaque scrapped from my teeth
i added gems to my canines
im playing with them as we speak 

i lie and i steal things
try to be revealing 
off putting !!!
show me where i lost footing
lip service
cock sucking dick circus 
ill be at auction but all of this shits worthless

couldnt begin to imagine how that happened
hey, look over there! 
spit in a napkin!
are you kidding? im asking
are you shitting in my hand or wishing on black magic?
you didnt understand
sometimes its okay to match the energy of your worst man
im the dead spy, i got two red eyes
ill let you guess why i stare out my blinds paranoid
people around me notice and im afraid that theyre annoyed
or think im crazy, and maybe theyre right
backdrop: illusion of contact
age it until it tastes like a safe ride
take you home in the back of a sports car
godly intention so pure as im sure that yours are

i dont wanna be myself
i wanna be someone else

Numbing Agent

slimy oozing bubbling stuff erupting

touching all my clean white t shirts

dont ask me where ive been or ill have to lie

floating

in reference to my weekend

asleep behind the wheel 

havent eaten

feels good

try to keep it real

my body armor is so camoflaughed, bitch!

its got invisible rocket launchers right on it

holding on to way too much

watching my hair grow 

fucked up    

broken bones 

i notice those hurt the most when you wake up and remember how they happened



time for altered vision 

betrayed

i know you feel that way 

while im indifferent

betrayed 



who do i need to hurt?

to make shame a motivator that will work 

and after that sustain an outlook 

without constantly reminding me of how long it took

i know it wont be like before



i never believed that 

i know we both see that i need to do more 

i said i agree that 

this shit wont stop driving a wedge in the floor     



exceptions 

satisfaction is guaranteed

except when i dont land on my feet 

exceptions

i love them

just please love me  



and im a beast when 

my anger reaches my dome 

its just a circle

but it is all ive ever known

Bad Boy Cat Toy

Probably my favorite song on this album.
The "main loop" is from a rehearsal recording of my math-rock type band, Ultra Death Men, sped up and cut up.
The song is about a lot of things, as always, but was most heavily inspired by my first trip to San Diego. It was a pretty strange, negative, and intense part of my life, but the experiences I had there had profound effects on my outlook.
The first line of the lyrics references one night Bradlea and I were driving through the desert and the entire dusk sky was literally a full rainbow.
The reiteration of that part of the song the second time is about how I'd wake up every morning to a collection of four cats sleeping on me and they'd all scramble away from me when they realized I was awake, as if to hide the fact that they'd been sleeping on me.

Loud Noise In My Room

Seventh track on Bad Happy.

A bit of an "anthem" for those of you who have a propensity to compromise yourself and overlook unfair mistreatment by your friends and other loved ones for the sake of keeping the relationships intact... I'm quite prone to this.

Even after years of being hurt by people I know who have cheated on me, belittled my accomplishments and talent, ditched me, ignored my calls and emails, forgot to do important things they said they would for, broken promises, violated my trust, and whatever else, for the sake of nothing but themselves, I've still generally stayed un-confrontational about betrayal, essentially making it okay to betray me.
I wanted to approach this topic in a constructive manner, as often I do, but not be too subtle about the message.

If you're in a position where you are compromising your own happiness to keep your life less dramatic and your friends groups without schism; relationships without quarrel: don't keep doing it. Try to find common ground.
If they remain obstinate, they aren't worth your time.

/Life lesson

Betrayal is okay.

DOWNLOAD THE ISOLATED VOCAL TRACK
FEEL FREE TO MONETIZE YOUR OWN REMIXES IDC
128 BPM
linkly.link/2C69d

YES I PLAY THE SEX FREAK GAME

UP TO DATE TOUR INFO: https://blacksquares.neocities.org/
Fresh Straw Berries Tour with Bubblegum Octopus

BanG Dream! Ave Mujica AMV
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyPspF3VF0s

TYSM to (un)familiar. who contributed some mix notes for me

Tiny little problems
Everybody's got 'em
Who wins the race in the race to the bottom?
Maybe got a problem
Probably got a lot of them
K so rotted give a fuck if it's toxic

People say I'm too old for this shit
So true, I'm too old for this shit
People like to say I'm too old for this shit
That's so true, I'm  too old for this

Day after day
I feel so dumb
Pressed up against
Unnatural
'n weighted down
By what I want 
A thing I covet
I can't become
   
Pull at me, you're so entitled
Quiet as the tomb
Who put in design, desire
Signal, interference,
All-in-one?

In perfect darkness
Bathed in all potential
Peeking thru the keyhole:
Know,
One day we'll all forge-

Tiny little problems
Everybody's got 'em
Who wins the race in the race to the bottom?
Maybe got a problem
Probably got a lotta them
Shits so rotted give a fuck if its toxic

People say I'm too old for this shit
So true, I'm too old for this shit
People like to say I'm too old for this shit
That's so true, I'm too old for this

Inside myself
Echoes my life
Crushed up against
Filled up to the eyes
Bleed out the meat
Blot out the sky
Caught in my throat
Just trying to say goodnight
Just trying to say goodbye

In perfect darkness
Bathed in all potential
Peeking thru the keyhole:
Know,
One day we'll all forget

Forget

CHARLlE KlRK WAS A GUY THAT DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE TO JOIN A GANG. THAT WAS HIS FIRST CHOICE OF WHAT HE WANTED TO DO, CAREER-WISE. NO CRAP HE GOT POPPED BY SOMEONE IN HIS OWN CLIQUE. USUALLY WE DON'T MOURN THIS TYPE OF GUY UNLESS WE'RE RELATED TO THEM. I THINK IT'S ACTUALLY SO SAD THAT THIS HAD TO HAPPEN... IN THE SAME 24 HOURS THAT THE US SENATE VOTED TO CONCEAL THE E-------N FILES...

I bent my head
I bend my spine forever
You hold my hand
I know I hold your hand too hard
Curl up in a circle
So broken-skin, so raw
There was a girl who was ugly forever and ever, amen
I swear it never gets easier
I swear it never gets better
I know if I admit to pain, we'll live the pain together
Too bad
So much gets said
But what gets it done?
What gets it done?

I know I look dumb
The type of dumb you would want
I want a lot to be blunt
It’s like you’re right all along

I wanted to be in love
I wanted to feel love but I'm just not like that
I wanted to be in love
I wanted to feel love but I’m just not like that

I 
I wanted something more than you could give
I
I
I wanted something more than you could give me

I hope you get to stay the way you are
I start to lose my posture
My spine sticks out the back of my neck
My hand, hitched up on angles
So broken-skin, still so raw to the touch
A finger in the wound is never enough for me
I swear it only gets easier
I swear it only gets better
I know if i admit to pain, we’ll live the pain together
If the road becomes the goal
We’ll ride it out to blackness
I try so hard
All fxcking day
All my efforts work backwards

My Neck

my version of the classic song made by Foo Fighters

everlong (but even more shoegaze)

@rooksfeather & @neotenomie
the most 🔥🔥🔥 album about gay trash, chronic pain & dissociation you've heard all year 

help me do what i like if you like what i do: https://www.patreon.com/ESPer99

SUPEREGO ROYAL JELLY

👉👉👉 OWN IT

rook&nomie - SUPEREGO ROYAL JELLY - 04 YEARWOUNDS

imdeath4

Track 4 from Perfect Life & Other Stuff, available on June 17th!
This album is a collaboration with my 17 year old self.
Pre-order digital or check lyrics here
http://bubblegumoctopus.bandcamp.com/album/perfect-life-other-stuff

The Group

Bag Of Bombs

ACROBAT OVER A VAT OF ACID CRAP

this is a song that was written in 2016 over a beat made in 2019 revisited in 2021.

lyrics:
my instinct tells me i smell like fresh meat
and i better be ready to defend myself if i need to
although ive never been in a fight
im weak and youre right
im sorry i didnt believe you
and ill apologize a second time
when i see you
because im sure it will lead to
the unbearable feeling that we are both only the same
and both totally insane
i feel it next to me etching itself into my skin
so i can start to act like a small part of myself again
youll see it too and know that its a preview
as we stand totally frozen and try to regroup
and after everything melts away into something else
well find another person and offer them all our help 
stepped with the wrong foot first
now it hurts to walk
ill walk it off stop talking shit 


i drank the blood but im still human
still want to do drugs 
i drank the blood but im pretty sure that i didnt drink enough

its shallow here
vapid
all my strength was sapped when i strapped in
i got tired so i napped
and when i woke up i found all the feeling was back
yeah at least it was until i needed it
squeeze every last bit of lust out of my bleeding tip
isnt it funny how quick they switch it in their minds 
when collective conscious isnt enough to get by
i know i know i know
humans cant fly
thats why they clipped the wings off every damn time
i didnt mean to abstract myself
im the sum of my goals subtracted by my shelf life
i helped drive the price up
so i must die!
i struck out blindly and touched my own rough side

i didnt mean to get frustrated
but sometimes i just fuck up and i fuckin hate it

Fresh Meat

Hello! I’m just an autistic kid on the internet who likes to make music sometimes! (I also go by He/Him or It/It’s pronouns. Call me Deer, Billy, Corbin or Irvin/Irving.
Some of my posts here are reposts of songs from really old obscure games, like dream emulator, which are mainly put on for archival purposes ^_^

imdeath4

Ada Rook

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