ig for work, fit pics, vlogs, archive etc
@babyreloadd
dm my ig i don’t respond on sc

freak out

I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR QUIET MY ENTIRE LIFE. NOW I'M HERE, AND IT'S NOT ENOUGH. IT'S ENOUGH TO LET ME SLEEP, BUT TOMORROW I WILL WAKE UP, MY BRAIN ITCHING AGAIN. I'LL LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO SATIATE THE BOREDOM. I WANT TO FEEL IT ALL AGAIN. MY LIFE IS QUIET, AND I'M READY TO RUIN IT, TO START OVER. I WOULD DO IT ALL-STILL BREAK MY FOOT IN THE SAME PLACES, STILL KISS ALL THE WRONG PEOPLE, TAKE ALL THE WRONG PILLS, AND GET IN THE WRONG CARS. JUST LET ME FEEL IT AGAIN. I DON'T REGRET IT. I HAVE ENERGY FOR PAIN. I HAVE MOVEMENT. I HAVE A HEART THAT'S GOING TOO QUICKLY. THERE IS STILL AN INSATIABLE HUNGER THAT LIVES INSIDE ME. I CAN NEVER BE SATIATED. I WILL ALWAYS WANT MORE OF IT ALL. I MAKE PLANS TO SEE MY FRIENDS, AND THEN I CANCEL THEM. I MAKE PLANS TO DIE, AND I CANCEL THOSE TOO. I'M STUCK WAITING, MY SKIN TOO TIGHT, MY SKULL TOO THIN FOR THIS BURN. MY MIND IS SCREAMING. THE SHAPES ARE CLEARER, AND MY BONES ARE A WHITE-HOT FIRE RUNNING THROUGH MY BODY. I'M ALIVE, AND THE PAIN IS BURNING-LIKE HEALING OR DAMAGE, BUT I CAN'T REALLY TELL.

I go by lil_trip2much, but my name is Payton Applewhite, born and raised in New Braunfels, Texas. Music has always been more than just sound for me—it’s therapy, it’s escape, and it’s the way I put my pain, thoughts, and late-night battles into something people can feel.
I make music for the ones who stay up at 3 AM, replaying memories, chasing peace, or fighting demons in silence. Every track I drop comes straight from real experiences—whether it’s heartbreak, restless nights, or trying to find light in the dark.
I blend emo rap, melodic flows, and raw emotion, taking inspiration from the struggles around me and turning them into songs that hit deep. If you’ve ever felt lost, haunted, or searching for clarity, you’ll find a piece of yourself in my music.
I’m building from the ground up, chasing the dream, and pushing my sound out of Texas to the world. This is only the start—press play, follow the journey, and let’s turn late-night pain into something unforgettable.