IIDX PURGATORY (old)

https://nfract.bandcamp.com/album/emo-girl

Ohmicide

One of the worst feelings a man can experience is taking stock of his life experience and realizing it has all amounted to nothing.

You cannot see your reflection in a broken mirror. I can’t see mine at all. Every time I look, there is nothing. There never has been, nor will there ever be.

That can’t be right.

There is no way I have done nothing. I have memories, I have experiences. I think.

How do I know anything I’ve said or done, anyone I’ve ever met, any place I’ve ever been, is real?

I don’t remember when I fall asleep.

I don’t remember when I wake up.

I always feel pain. I am never numb.

You’re not supposed to feel when you’re asleep, right?

How do I know if I’m awake?

How do I know if I’m asleep?

How can I prove anything is real?

The time is always correct.

The sun always burns. The ice always stings.

Nothing makes sense.

Nobody speaks to me unless spoken to.

On every spectrum of my existence, I am alone. 

Every expression of my life and how I feel ends up a tale of nothing but sorrow and tragedy. No matter what I do, every story I tell is a depressing one. I am physically incapable of truly expressing any type of positive emotion.

But I smile every day.

How do I know it’s real?
She tells me I’m overthinking. She assures me that I am tangible, and that she is too. Everything I see is real, everything I feel is real. Everything is real.

But what reality is she referring to?

What if she’s lying to get me to calm down? What if she isn’t real, and I’m not real either? What if she knows this and is trying to trick me? Who do I trust?

If life is fake, then death is fake too.

I am too scared to prove this.

Why am I so scared? If nothing is real, then I shouldn’t care. I should be afraid of anything if there isn’t anything to be afraid of.

If I am not real, then nothing ever happened. If nothing ever happened, why do I remember?

If I am not real, why does it hurt?

If I am not real, then why did it happen? Nothing can happen if nothing is real.

I need to know which is my reality, and which is just a dream.

I want to wake up.

cava. 

adiuva me obsecro.

verus es.

ego quoque verus sum?

nihil verum est.

attamen omnia vera sunt.

lebensmüde

Temptation

boys

one day, maybe
you’ll break through
won't you?

touch screen matrix (feat. Zhnoi)

bury2k & dj powerbank - weiss
palica - originate
geck-o - club trancer
aekae, crayvxn, bendel & type r - cancrorum
bt - flaming june (paul van dyk remix)
mauro picotto - iguana (blank & jones remix)
ayumi hamasaki - real me (megara vs dj lee remix)
smith & pledger - hi jack (instrumental mix)
axt - over
dazegxd & kaiyko - emotion engine
tespia - eternity (move just like an angel)
milky - just the way you are (almighty remix)
shaka bose - hideout (takaryu remix)
guchon & carpainter - tokyo funk
subtech - timeshift
lunatic calm - leave you far behind
cyberhacksystem - edic
disaffected - adieu
paul maddox & jojo - blonde leading the blonde
samplingmasters mega - reciprocity of 90's

TYPE R @ MALLRATS AND MIXTAPES VOL 3

art by https://www.instagram.com/hitrisisters/

slit

Free download

BURN

WIP tempo bridge from an upcoming EP thats been sitting mastered here for months

ReDashed Pulsepoint (Stage4_boss) demo

SILKR∅AD