turned 22 today, here's a song

produced by stonesowavy

mastered by @sastrp

LYRICS:

let me in let me out

tell me what you know
bout your life the shit u hide and tell me what u owe
forget about the time i got it start right from the go
lemme know your fears the trauma buried deep below
tell me bout the time u didn’t have a place a home
tell me bout the desperation of being alone
moving day to day where every day was seeming slow
every time the outcome of events was still unknown 
it’s unknown where we at
no time to react
speculation mixed with fact and the fad of attention in remission
cause it’s not about you and it never was
and it’s not about me that’s what troubles us
expecting compensation for a life that seems mistaken
and receiving nothing but impatience conflict illness degradation
seems unfair all this monotony performed with calculation 
comparing hatred
constantly racing
wonder what’s the purpose of the pain
dream of peace a stable life consistent pay
don’t ask for too much only take the things u need
tell me how you heal and how you bleed

can i tell you what i know
bout my life the shit i hide and what i owe
hope you got the time cause imma start right from the go 
i got a lot of fear and trauma buried deep below
i got a couple diagnoses probably a couple more they haven’t found yet
but the symptoms are apparent and the treatment done is negligent 
i’m stubborn almost arrogant in my ability to counter obstacles it’s evident
that i would benefit from therapy if i just fucking went
but i can’t even dial numbers start the journey of salvation
once my halo dusty now it’s broken down to yo sediment
i said i wanna change the world
she said that i can’t make that promise
i told her that i need approval
she said i might be a narcissist
cause i’m so focused on myself in such a troubling way
i can recognize the rot but i still let it decay
doing the bare minimum so i can get through the day
but i’m still desperate for some clapping hands to say it’s okay 
cause just the thought of doing what is right is not enough if i don’t actually do it
i want diplomas houses i blew it 
why does life feel claustrophobic when i just got on my feet
can i tell you how i heal and how i bleed

let me in let me out

i simply can’t believe in over sharing
given proper context humans tend to love comparing
situations lived and coping methods revel baring
honest nature of existence and precisely planning
what to filter rummage memories depression or your BPD
and anything that’s troubling the most open that you’ll ever be
but only let out what’s acceptable the limit of your history
is undefined when you first meet somebody you can vaguely see
being in your life extended time bond through little things
like breakups high school bullies neurons firing
to find the sweet spot not too overbearing sort of comforting
to know you’re not alone in this eventually the dam will break
testing the relationship by showing what is underneath
standing at a checkpoint in the bond you built so carefully
started off with how your parents were divorcing
to how you know the makeup that can help to cover bruising 
buzzwords key components of a conversation hold em in their mouth and let them out
when necessity to shows up 
know i’m here for you i care but question if they do believe that
in their head are they judgmental bout a controversial past

and maybe i’m just nosy bout your life
not always my business do or die
imma tell you something bout me
this is how i heal and how i bleed

let me in [prod. stonesowavy]

Matching Casket (ft. B Murph)

al0n3.com NEW CLOTHES OUT NOW!

Mixed/Edit by Chae Prod by HXLLWX
Insta: www.instagram.com/chaesps/
www.instagram.com/4l0n3uk/
PROD: @ hxllxwgxd

Chae ~ Chae u gotta stop it [Prod. HXLLXW]

deeprest - orange

CREDITS :
𖤐 PRODUCTION ► https://beatstars.com/lilportal
𖤐 ENGINEERING ► https://jayremi.com

LINKS :
𖤐 SPOTIFY ►
https://open.spotify.com/artist/5L0qqDu4PETBdsWrNKX9zO
𖤐 YOUTUBE ►
https://www.youtube.com/c/deeprestofficial
𖤐 APPLE MUSIC ►
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/deeprest/1562076584
𖤐 INSTAGRAM ►
https://www.instagram.com/realdeeprest
𖤐 TWITTER ► 
https://www.twitter.com/realdeeprest

LYRICS:
If you ask me to ride
Then bitch you know that I'll ride
But I'm a let you know right now that I should probably not drive
Got a beer in my hand
Got a ghost by my side
I've never felt so numb, but somehow so alive

I'm high again
I'm high again
I got no friends
I'm high again

I don't want to waste your time

I'm high again
It's no surprise
I'm putting down the beers
Like the fourth of July
I'm high again
To no surprise
I'm high again
You can see it in my eyes
I'm high again
I ain't plugged into this life
I'm high again
I'm high again

I'm high again
x2

What's the color orange feel like?
Is it cold?
Is it bright?
I think
It's more like
Something that you run away for in the middle of the night
Come home covered in some hickeys know it's gonna start a fight
But who cares, hell yeah single in July
Ecstasy and parties like it's nineteen ninety nine
Don't you get started
This shit eat you alive

Who cares?
Hell yeah, single in July
Orange don't care cuz it burns
Orange don't care it just hurt
Orange don't care
It just hurt
Hurt
Hurt

I don't know when to shut it
But who cares? Fuck it
Got some drugs in this bucket
Gonna lay them out and cut it
Bitch I'm buzzing
Got this bitch
She bussing on my dick
I love it

Bitch I love it
I don't know when to shut it bitch
who cares? Fuck it
Got some drugs in this bucket
Gonna lay them out and cut it
Bitch I'm buzzing
Got this bitch
She bussing on my dick
I love it

Please don't look at me
I am pretending to be somebody that I shouldn't be
I am pretending to be everything that I couldn't be
I'm a fake
I ain't me
I be chained
Never free
But my weed be pedigree
Smoking on the pedigree
Nobody got better weed
I got these trophies on my shelf
I'm flexing my muscles cuz I did this shit myself
Look what I got, I never needed no help
I never need no help

mallghost

orange

orange (prod. lilportal)

Lyrics:

Hey cupid baby
We haven't spoken lately
There's this boy i like a lot
You seem to have forgot
He treats me like a flower
Compliments by the hour
The violets purple and pink
And i can't help but think

When were falling down
I can't even see the ground
Hope i'm stuck there in your mind
You can be my valentine
Stay here in the clouds forever
Let me wear your favourite sweater
We will have the greatest time
Chasing cupid in the sky

His arrows falling down down down down
Hes aiming for the ground ground ground ground
Hes shooting all around round round round
Love spreads around the town town town town

Hey cupid baby
We talk about it daily
There's this boy i like a lot
He treats me like a daisy
Makes me feel all special
He's always kind and gentle
The violets purple and pink
And i can't help but think

When were falling down
I can't even see the ground
Hope i'm stuck there in your mind
You can be my valentine
Stay here in the clouds forever
Let me wear your favourite sweater
We will have the greatest time
Chasing cupid in the sky

His arrows falling down down down down
Hes aiming for the ground ground ground ground
Hes shooting all around round round round
Love spreads around the town town town town

Hey cupid sunshine
Let's talk about it one more time
There's this boy i like a lot
You seem to have forgot
treats me like a flower
Compliments by the hour
The violets purple and pink
And i can't help but think

When were falling down
I can't even see the ground
Hope i'm stuck there in your mind
You can be my valentine
Stay here in the clouds forever
Let me wear your favourite sweater
We will have the greatest time
Chasing cupid in the sky

His arrows falling down down down down
Hes aiming for the ground ground ground ground
Hes shooting all around round round round
Try not to miss us now now now now

(Chasing cupid in the sky
We will have the greatest time)

Chasing Cupid (p. wetgropes)

no one checks [Prod. MNDLS II]

thank god i passed all my courses.

LYRICZ
Here i am at 4 am
I just finished my essay
What did i write? Amen

I dont, pray to god, but boy i need that luck
One night after work, 2000 words, still not enough
Up all night, til the break of dawn, early morning rising
I fucked up, n poorly planned, too late, hand in, no revising

Made mistakes that i cant take back
Grade got an F, and boy i hate that
Rate me zero, well bitch im sure i aint that
But if you say 10, ima ask you where your brains at

Annotated bibliography
Write it last minute what the fucks wrong with me
back n forth on school, work and love
Cant stay on topic like my essays, another gutter draft is done
Thats no fun, i must admit
I overthink til i feel like shit

2000 words [prod. mndls1600]

i just roll another bimmy ‧₊˚✩彡 (prod. tiedforsilver x secre)

I lost my mind


Lyrics 

Ain’t it kinda funny when you’re starting at a gun 
words you use against me no I guess it isn’t fun 
I should call a doctor cause you made me lose my mind 
Every step I take I take another few behind 

Tell me why you think that it’s not you 

No no no no no no you’re not cute 
No no no no no it’s not you 
It’s not me 
I think it’s everything between 

I think I 
I think I 
I think I’m losing it 

Tell me that you love me even if it’s a lie 
I don’t think people will mind 
When I look for you at night 
I don’t know why you run from me 
Give me one good reason why 
I shouldn’t stick a knife in your eye 
I don’t think that you will like 
Who I become 
When I’m right 

I think I 
I think I 
I think I’m losing it 

It’s not fair 
You don’t care 
You’re not there 
Beware 
You’re not there 
You don’t care 
It’s not fair 

I think I’m losing it

i just roll another bimmy ‧₊˚✩彡 (prod. tiedforsilver x secre)

₊‧⁺˖♡︎𝐳𝐱 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰♡︎˖⁺‧₊