Break Me Down

I had an emotional week to say the least..
Confused with my purpose in life and questioning whether or not I am on the right path. Questioning if this is what God truly wants of me.
Heartbroken from realizing my own cycles of sin breaks the heart of my creator over and over again.
Tears flooded my face;
I sat alone in darkness.
Reflecting on my life and its failures.
I’ve failed more times than I’ve ever succeeded.
Especially when it comes to love.
Yet with that realization, I learned that I’ve also tried more times than others and will continue to do so.
Eyes welled with tears, I cried out silently, “God, you are calling me to lead, I’m here, what must I do?”
“Grab a pen and your great grandfathers old art book.”
Silently but sternly providing instructions.
I listened.
Yet more questions rose, “what song must I make? What beat is good enough? How can I find the right beat?”
Just as many more came to mind, Gods voice calmed me and suggested that I look instead of sitting paralyzed with my questions.
Deciding that I must really be crazy, and going for it anyways, I found the beat I used for this song.
The beat was titled “This beat has chosen you.”
In prior context my nan and I that same day were talking about the importance of the numbers 12, 22, and 7 in relation to our family and the bible.
When I had found said beat, it had 12k views, and was released 7 days prior.
Seeing it as a sign I downloaded it immediately.
I heard the beautiful sample and how it blended smoothly with the drums, then I started to cry once again briefly…
I had thought to myself, “why am I, a sinner enslaved to his own sin, like the fool in the bible, worthy of this much guidance and love?”
Emotions started to overwhelm me yet no more tears had come..
I took a deep breath;
“Forgive me father for I have sinned, I have let the devil in…”
It was on beat, I immediately understood what had to be done.
I used my pain as a vessel to carry a message that was true to me..
I realized that I’ve been feeling a lot of survivors guilt over the last couple months and had questioned why must I be brought back from death, while my loved ones stay?
I paused, stuck with not knowing what to write, I once again heard the soft yet stern voice of God;
“You must continue forward, they wouldn’t have wanted you to stay stuck mourning their loss, and neither do I, trust that I will take care of you and the rest.”
Overcoming the overwhelming emotions of grief and guilt, this song was made by the strength God has given me..
I do not claim to be perfect, I will most likely sin again either willingly or unwillingly;
Yet I am trying my best to be better everyday, even if it’s 1% at a time.

Sometimes in order to dance we must take two steps backwards..
I pray that this song can help those that need it to help the same way creating it has helped me..
I’d like to thank God, and whoever is listening and whoever has read all the way through to here, and thank God for connecting us together no matter how briefly you stick around.
May God shine light on all of us during our dark times and protect us from evil.
I just wanna go home..
Yet I’m still learning where that is..

I hope this song can help you relate and feel less alone in your struggles.
The least I can be is a voice of my own heart and struggles.
All I ask is for people to listen, relate, and feel.
If God wills it, I will be around for each and everyone of you.

Thank you kindly and God bless 💜🙏💜

Like A Moth To A Flame I Sin Again

The Product is a conscious, alternative hip-hop track reflecting on ancestry, evolution, and identity in a screen-lit world. Blending spoken rap, haunting melody, and cinematic atmosphere, it explores what survives when bloodlines, instinct, and human connection collide with modern technology. Introspective, philosophical, and emotionally driven.

The Product - conscious Hip Hop version

special thank you to my man orland who told me to use this beat.

First Of The Year (prod. Jeremy Ian Thomas)

Faith (prod. sam.sts)

a collection of demos and throwaways from february2017 - august2017
album cumming soon, this is not it

Goofball

just cause you look older doesn't mean you're ready

produced by soundcloud.com/modal51

lyrics:
I probably won’t 
Check-in 
All day

I probably Won’t 
Call back 
All day 

You wanna move out 
Huh 
I know you do 

Just like your friends 
And everybody that you think is 
cool 

You grew a lil beard 
So now you the shit huh 

Momma should’ve beat yo ass 
For all of yo lip bruh

Peach fuzz on your face don’t mean shit 
Yuh

You not any older just cause you could play it 
You put on a fake face on 
Just to go in places 
Took a look inside your room 
And then you get complacent 
You think you got no time 
When you taking a day shift
You end up lying 
When you going through phases
And Where’s something find 
When your brains made of mazes
And ain’t shit people 
Trynna tell you you ain’t shit 

Cause you ain’t shit 
(all ill have 
Is my name)

When I kill myself 

So don’t you miss me 
(Yeah x5)